The Banned Game

[Lanolin]

Lady Abigail is happy to inform whoever is inconvenient to the idea of green lipstick, whether it be on the grounds of cultural insensitivities or claims that she is in any way appropriating anybodys culture, that Lady Abigail is not, under any circumstances, applying the shade of green that the Māori people are using. Lady Abigail herself is of indigenous descent and is well aware of this problem.

hmm ok well what shade of green is it?
To Maori, green comes in all shades, its the colour of leaves and greenstone. When is green not green? Do you have a sample you can send us?

How about you use orange or blue instead? Maori have been using green for centuries. Its too much of a hassle to change theirs especially when its tattooed on.

 

[jennymae]

hmm ok well what shade of green is it?
To Maori, green comes in all shades, its the colour of leaves and greenstone. When is green not green? Do you have a sample you can send us?

How about you use orange or blue instead? Maori have been using green for centuries. Its too much of a hassle to change theirs especially when its tattooed on.

The former Empress banned green lipstick in Jennymaesia. Green lipstick is the cryptonite of Mosestaria. The shade is toxic green with a cryptonite twist. Looks real ugly. Nothing like that beautiful woman attached to your post. Everything on her was matching. Her tones, her outfit, her accessories and etc. Fashionways it’s a masterpiece.

 

[Lanolin]

was it this colour, although this is for nails. Sort of radioactive?

 

[Lanolin]

The guinea pigs didnt eat the green lip glues, they only liked the watermelon, beetroot and carrot flavoured ones.

Anyhow, the Lanolinland president had a hui with the Maori and it was decided that Miss Greenlips Hine would be their cultural ambassador at the Lanolinland embassy in London where she will hobnob with former royalty who've mysteriously decided to give up their royal duties and open beauty shops for pin money.

 

[Lanolin]

While hobnobbing, Miss Greenlips Hine met up with this couple. The lady in the green outfit asked her where she got her lipstick from. She was unable to find any in green in all the beauty shops in London and throughout Jennymaesia.



Miss Greenlips Hine thought she might be commiting a faux pas if she mentioned that her lips were tattooed and not lipsticked like everyone elses

Let me introduce you to my dear friend Lady Abigail, I believe she has just opened a brand new beauty parlour in Soho.

The gentleman in blue cleared his throat.

Miss Greenlips Hine wondered if Lady Abigail had a line of blue lipstick for him as well. She smiled

Im sure Lady Abigail would love to chat with you both.

 

[jennymae]

The guinea pigs didnt eat the green lip glues, they only liked the watermelon, beetroot and carrot flavoured ones.

Anyhow, the Lanolinland president had a hui with the Maori and it was decided that Miss Greenlips Hine would be their cultural ambassador at the Lanolinland embassy in London where she will hobnob with former royalty who've mysteriously decided to give up their royal duties and open beauty shops for pin money.

Lady Abigail chuckled while reading the diplomatic credentials from Lanolinland. Her intelligence service had been able get their well manicured hands on a copy of the credentials. Miss Greenlips Hine? Splendid. She was in fact a spy sent out to report back to the ruler of Lanolinland. She picked up her cell. “Mr Long-Ears, listen very carefully, I will only say this once. A young woman will be approaching me with the intent to socialize with me. Doubtlessly to be eavesdropping on me. You have to put our counterespionage on the case!” Mr Long-Ears responded quickly with a “Yes, My Lady.”

Lady Abigail opened a secret door behind her office and slipped inside. On the inside her security detail and two agents from her secret service was already plotting a scheme designated for the abduction of the greenhorn Lanolinland diplomat.

 

[jennymae]

While hobnobbing, Miss Greenlips Hine met up with this couple. The lady in the green outfit asked her where she got her lipstick from. She was unable to find any in green in all the beauty shops in London and throughout Jennymaesia.

View attachment 240932

Miss Greenlips Hine thought she might be commiting a faux pas if she mentioned that her lips were tattooed and not lipsticked like everyone elses

Let me introduce you to my dear friend Lady Abigail, I believe she has just opened a brand new beauty parlour in Soho.

The gentleman in blue cleared his throat.

Miss Greenlips Hine wondered if Lady Abigail had a line of blue lipstick for him as well. She smiled

Im sure Lady Abigail would love to chat with you both.

Lady Abigail frowned upon the ludicrous, green outfit which had just entered her boutique. A woman appeared to be residing inside it. The woman, apparently, was escorted by a bearded man whose face was covered in fear. He mirrored the woman’s every movement. The woman’s eyes were cold and dominant. Lady Abigail decided that she didn’t approve of her. Could this be the Mosestarian leader and his heinous wife? Did Countess Karen get a face job?

The woman smiled at Lady Abigail. “Good afternoon, do you mind me and my husband having a peek at your stuff, please?” Her accent was clearly American, though she tried to sound British. Lady Abigail, naturally, could present a flawless British accent, it was like her native tongue, even she was from Jennymaesia, where the accents were known to be thicker than the brick stone walls of Buckingham Palace. “Of course, My Lady, that would be my pleasure,” Lady Abigail said in a sweet tone.

 

[Lanolin]

Miss Greenlips Hine finished hobnobbing and her fill of garden parties, high teas and canapes and decided she had had enough and wanted to go home. The people were nice, but it wasnt really her scene. But it was a long way from London to Lanolinland and she would have to go through several countries to get back.

Perhaps she could do a tiki tour and check out the famed lost wonders of Japovia before returning to the South Seas? Plus checking out the sights of Mount Sculpt, famed for is prized angora goats? Plus what about the yearly tomato throwing festival held in Shittimstan? And not to mention a detour to neighbouring Rubyland,now said to be the 'happiest place on earth'

The world of Jennymaesia was her oyster, but there was nothing like the Bluff oysters of her homeland. Haere Ra she called to her gracious hosts. Now is the hour for me to say goodbye.

 

[Lanolin]

Dear Miss Greenlips Hine

We hope you having a wonderful time in London. We never forget the things you taught us about carrots and how they would be good for our brains the more we ate them. The Baroness Barry is looking after us now and transforming us into possums, and has taken us into Rubyland where all the women have RED lips! It is the only colour they are allowed. ?!
We are now on what the Baroness Barry calls the Jenny Craig diet, which is a lot of food that comes in plastic packets six times a day. Its ...interesting, but we'd rather be eating carrots and beetroots and hope so in the future. The Baroness Barry says once we finish the diet we can pass for possums. She says when we become possums, everyone will want to elect HER for President. Then she will give hs a neverending supply of carrots and beetroots. She says she made a deal with Woodeast Hunger Solutions.

If you do manage to come over to visit us on your way back home it would be nice to see a familar face. The cats and bunnies here often mention how much they hate 'he who must not be named' but we dont really know who that is, since they never give him a name. Otherwise, everyone seems friendly here.

Love from
your furry friends
the guinea pigs

 

[Moses_Young]

The new President of the United Kingdom of Jennymaesia and Rubyland was quickly getting overwhelmed. It was one thing to lead a rag-tag bunch of trouble-makers to incite a war in a neighbouring Chiefdom. It was totally another to attempt to wisely govern the newly united kingdoms, whilst simultaneously servicing the national debt and combating rising interests rates, brought about by the financial institutions that had funded, and were still funding, the current occupation of Mosestaria.

The mysterious Mosestarian leader was nowhere to be found in Mosestaria, although an abandoned underground bunker, where he was suspected to have been based until very recently, had been thoroughly searched after being identified by a defector.

The propaganda spewing out of Lanolinland, rather than helping, read like some perverted, transgender remake of Watership Down, starring a eunuch named Barry. The people of Jennymaesia and Rubyland were thus tuning-out from their television sets, and too quickly becoming angry at the increasing costs of living. The ex-Empress of Jennymaesia, now known as Lady Abigail, had retired to London to start a new life as a shop assistant, and Madame President of the United Kingdom of Jennymaesia and Rubyland (pictured below) had taken to hiding her face deep in dark shadow, due to her newfound fear of the people.

 

[Ruby123]

The three empresses JennyMae, Lanolin and Ruby (also known as the spice girls) are plotting together to get this world into order. First step overthrow the wicked leader of Mosestaria. Second step find suitable staff to oversee the makeup empires of lipstick and mascara. Third step, ensure all rabbits, guinea pigs and cats are well fed and protected. Fourth step, dont allow Mrs Hairy to join our band. Fifth step, polish our singing and dancing and take our music on tour. This will unite us together.

The wicked leader who does not appreciate our music will be banned to solitary confinement where he will have to listen to our music on loop until he knows every word to our songs.

 

[Lanolin]

He who must not be named complained to Chief Sculpt that he was getting bored and there was nothing on tv to watch in the ice hotel man cave.

Ever since being exiled from his land, he was unable to follow his favourite blood thirsty sports which involved a lot of punching, fighting and kicking.

What about Empress Ruby? Didnt SHE have a rugby team of some sort? He who must not be named sighed. It was no good, In previous times past it was He who must not he named who ALWAYS won and that was why he played those games. Now that the tables were turned and Empress Ruby was calling the shots, it wasnt fun anymore.

Chief Sculpt commiserated. Here...have some cheese. It will make you feel better. So He who must not be named ate some cheese. At least He still had cheese.

 

[Lanolin]

The woman in the green oufit, who styled herself the Duchess and pwife of Prince Harry entered the boutique. She whispered into the Princes ear that she wouldnt be long, and he was to occupy himself on the lalique chairs with a Hello! magazine in which they both featured on the cover.

Marvellous place you have here Lady Abigail, drawled the Duchess.

Lady Abigail said, Oh this? Just a small venture I've started to bring only the best beauty to the faces who sorely need it.

Oh dont we just, agreed the Duchess. I can never find any lipstick to match this outfit.

She looked around the shelves. All the makeup was in velvet lined cases. She would have to ask for a demonstration to sample the wares. The Duchess admired herself in one of the mirrors, of which there were so many, it was like the hall of Versailles. She adjusted her fascinator.

Lady Abigail paused to consider what to say next. Her eyes were hurting but it seemed the Duchess was asking for counsel. You do know that red and green should never be seen? She said at last.

Absolutely, said the Duchess. I always thought one's lipstick ought to match one's outfit.

 

[jennymae]

The woman in the green oufit, who styled herself the Duchess and pwife of Prince Harry entered the boutique. She whispered into the Princes ear that she wouldnt be long, and he was to occupy himself on the lalique chairs with a Hello! magazine in which they both featured on the cover.

Marvellous place you have here Lady Abigail, drawled the Duchess.

Lady Abigail said, Oh this? Just a small venture I've started to bring only the best beauty to the faces who sorely need it.

Oh dont we just, agreed the Duchess. I can never find any lipstick to match this outfit.

She looked around the shelves. All the makeup was in velvet lined cases. She would have to ask for a demonstration to sample the wares. The Duchess admired herself in one of the mirrors, of which there were so many, it was like the hall of Versailles. She adjusted her fascinator.

Lady Abigail paused to consider what to say next. Her eyes were hurting but it seemed the Duchess was asking for counsel. You do know that red and green should never be seen? She said at last.

Absolutely, said the Duchess. I always thought one's lipstick ought to match one's outfit.

“Good Gracious”, Lady Abigail almost said out loud. Fashion ways this so-called Duchess was a babe in the business. She was sure that the lipstick would even look better on her husband, which would speak volumes. How could she even dare venturing out of her mansion wearing a dress like this? The dress didn’t match her tones, nor her eyes and definitely not a decent colored lipstick. It was a complete disaster.

The Duchess was originally a beautiful woman, but had, for reasons so mysterious that even Lady Abigail couldn’t wrap her head around them, chosen an outfit that made her look as lousy as a catfish from the most backwater river in Mosestaria. Maybe she was colorblind, or just really hated herself, but her utter appearance screamed for professional attention.

“Ma’am”, the Duchess said, “why can’t I have ruby red lipstick? I must have ruby red lipstick!” Lady Abigail gave her a cold stare. “Ditch that no good dress and I’ll counsel you. Don’t, and ain’t helping you anywhere but out of my door!”

 

[Lanolin]

Meanwhile the Harry formerly known as Prince looked as if he was perusing his Hello! magazine, but he was surreptiously dialing the emergency number for 000007

Listen we're in, and my pwife is going to obtain that kyrptonite and defuse it.

Oh it was easy I just got her to dress in the most hideous outfit she could find in the back of my mothers wardrobe. I think it was one of her friends Fergies actually.

yes Mrs Hairy can have it when shes finished with it.

Yes well Im sorry our names are so similar but I dont actually wish to be called Henry the 9th.

 

[Ruby123]

It seems Harry and his wife who have been kicked out of their royal family and have nowhere to stay are enlisting the help of 000007 and the former wicked leader of Mosesteria to overturn all and rule the kingdoms. Their planning on allowing the duo to be seen but it is actually them behind the scenes who are pulling the strings. Who would have known?

Harry's wife otherwise known as the ex Duchess or Megs for short is not satisfied with just ruling the kingdoms, she wants to steal Lady Abigails formerly known as Empress Jennymaesia's makeup empire. The thought of owning the empire plus being on the cover of every ladies magazine delights her. She is especially keen to make her former royal family jealous that her and Harry have made it on their own.

"Make the phone call" Megs yelled at Harry. "It's time""

 

[jennymae]

It seems Harry and his wife who have been kicked out of their royal family and have nowhere to stay are enlisting the help of 000007 and the former wicked leader of Mosesteria to overturn all and rule the kingdoms. Their planning on allowing the duo to be seen but it is actually them behind the scenes who are pulling the strings. Who would have known?

Harry's wife otherwise known as the ex Duchess or Megs for short is not satisfied with just ruling the kingdoms, she wants to steal Lady Abigails formerly known as Empress Jennymaesia's makeup empire. The thought of owning the empire plus being on the cover of every ladies magazine delights her. She is especially keen to make her former royal family jealous that her and Harry have made it on their own.

"Make the phone call" Megs yelled at Harry. "It's time""

Lady Abigail was grateful to The Empress of Rubyland for letting her know about Megs evil scheme. Megs could do whatever, but her fashion ways incompetence would per usual prevail. That green dress was a total giveaway in that regard. Maybe Megs could be hooked up with the evil Mosestarian leader. They’d sure would be a great couple. Then they could cover themselves in green and be ostracized from every lady magazine on earth.

The real fashionistas, the Lanolin ruler, Madame President of Rubyland and Lady Abigail would nevertheless make the front pages of every lady magazine due to their elegance and finesse.

 

[Lanolin]

The Duchess adjusted her fascinator
Pardon me? This outfit is a rare vintage designer piece from Shittimstan. I am sorry to hear that you do not find it to your taste. But I am wearing it for charitable reasons. She lowered her voice...The poor Shittimastanians have been taken over by the cruel

HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED

and cannot afford better. Now they dress in rags much worse.

Lady Abigail pondered her secret stocks in the back room. Was this Duchess, Meg or whatever, friend or foe?

 

[jennymae]

The Empress was sick of fashion and low end folks of royalty posing as fashionistas. She needed a fight. In a secret room behind her office she hid her weapons. She picked up her phone and called the Empress of Rubyland. They agreed quickly and deployed their armies to Antarctica for a showdown with the evil emperor of Mosestaria. At war she was at peace, bad stuff but true. She nodded to her allies, the Rubyland Empress, and the Lanolin Queen, and they parachuted out of the plane. Time to kick ***.

 

[Lanolin]

The duchess watched as 'Lady' Abigail pretended she needed to powder her nose and ducked into her secret store room to retrieve whatever it was she only showed her 'exclusive' clients.

It really WAS tiring having to kow tow to complete snobs.

The Duchess raised her voice. Lady Abigail. If you really to fight, be a woman and do it face to face. I know you are in there calling someone right now to do your dirty work for you

But He who must not be named is not even IN Antarctica!

In fact, we've got him right here.