The best personality in men and women

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Jun 24, 2017
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#21
I'm going to dispense with the roses for just a second and say that attractiveness MATTERS. Mmkay? Yes there are all kinds of things about peoples personalities that make them attractive as a person, but on a physical level it would be a huge disservice to my wife to not find her attractive. How am I supposed to go around telling her she's beautiful if I don't think it's true? And the flip side of that is true as well. If she's not physically attracted to me you might as well hang it up.(I'll be single for a while :p) Do I think that it's much more fulfilling to be wanted for who you are than what you are? For sure. Only being in it for the physical attraction would be a perversion. But then I feel so would only being in it for the emotional attraction.

Now back to your regularly scheduled cliche's:

She has to be able to let Christ lead. If she can't let the perfect man lead, then there's no way I stand a chance.

Other than that, someone with a fun personality. Someone who smiles and laughs a lot and looks for opportunities for adventure. If we can talk without trying to carry the conversation too much and she enjoy's my sense of humor that's going to pull me in. Also, self improvement is part of her lifestyle, in a way that she realizes that it's not the goals that matter but the continual improvement itself that is the goal.
 
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tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,518
1,154
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#22
I'm going to dispense with the roses for just a second and say that attractiveness MATTERS. Mmkay? Yes there are all kinds of things about peoples personalities that make them attractive as a person, but on a physical level it would be a huge disservice to my wife to not find her attractive. How am I supposed to go around telling her she's beautiful if I don't think it's true? And the flip side of that is true as well. If she's not physically attracted to me you might as well hang it up.(I'll be single for a while :p) Do I think that it's much more fulfilling to be wanted for who you are than what you are? For sure. Only being in it for the physical attraction would be a perversion. But then I feel so would only being in it for the emotional attraction.

Now back to your regularly scheduled cliche's:

She has to be able to let Christ lead. If she can't let the perfect man lead, then there's no way I stand a chance.

Other than that, someone with a fun personality. Someone who smiles and laughs a lot and looks for opportunities for adventure. If we can talk without trying to carry the conversation too much and she enjoy's my sense of humor that's going to pull me in. Also, self improvement is part of her lifestyle, in a way that she realizes that it's not the goals that matter but the continual improvement itself that is the goal.
Once you are truly able to love your wife you will find her attractive regardless what others think about how she looks. I agree about the other things you have mentioned that are important qualities that you are looking for. Be aware however that self-improvement is actually when you allow yourself to be guided by the Holy Spirit that would enable you to grow spiritually as well as improvement of the physical and mental aspects. This will be an on-going process that will last for the rest of one's life.
 
Jun 24, 2017
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#23
Once you are truly able to love your wife you will find her attractive regardless what others think about how she looks. I agree about the other things you have mentioned that are important qualities that you are looking for. Be aware however that self-improvement is actually when you allow yourself to be guided by the Holy Spirit that would enable you to grow spiritually as well as improvement of the physical and mental aspects. This will be an on-going process that will last for the rest of one's life.
I would call that santification, but nevertheless, I agree.
 
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Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#24
My two cents to this conversation really isn't worth a piece of pocket lint, but I'm gonna contribute anyway. LOL

First and foremost for me would be a woman that I am actually interested in. Being pretty will get me to cast a glance, but it won't capture my attention. I need more. Be smart. Be goofball funny. Be somebody I want to take the effort to get to know. Be different than other women...and I mean really different. Be a curious person who loves to learn. Be self reliant.
 

Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
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#25


Rom-com heroines, we're talking to you...
 

christian74

Senior Member
Oct 1, 2013
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#26
Not sure if there really is a perfect personality or a certain look. I think a love interest happens on you unexpected like. And when it does it takes all your attention! Sweeps up all the corners. It's like a spider web in the face, kind of.

There was this girl in high school I kind of knew. Didn't know her much on a personal level, just saw her about everyday. I thought she was plain as paper. Then a few years later I met up with her again at a restaurant by accident. She had a ribbon in her hair and when she turned and looked at me her dark eyes almost stung. A little upturn in her quirky smile tore a hole in me.

So what is that exactly? Did I know how unbelievably smart she was, going on later in life to earn two masters? No. Did I have the foresight to judge her character to know she always had my back even when I lost faith in my own self? No. Did I know her courage and sense of adventure jumping in quarry lake that time? No. Did I know her immense heart?

Didn't know nothing about her. Plain as a sheet of paper I thought.

I don't care if I'm reading your post in Daffy Duck's voice - doesn't change the awesomeness of your post a bit.
 

Pencildot

Junior Member
Sep 4, 2017
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#27
There is no one perfect. You will waste time and youth looking for something that does not exist. Look for someone who does not wear you down and someone whose company you enjoy for a stretch. Of course there needs a sexual connection. If you found that then you found your partner.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
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#28
Great looking, beautiful figure, nice personality, honest, good sense of humor, sexy, hard worker, intelligent, independent, no bad habits, trustworthy, compassionate, and Christian.. Aside from those requirements, I'm not too fussy :)
 
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MollyConnor

Guest
#29
I like guys who make me laugh and who make me feel secure. I really don't like it when they like to argue. I wish there were more men who didn't always feel like they need to be right all the time. That's annoying.

Any man who reveals the fruits of the Spirit is a true catch!
 
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GaryA

Guest
#30
Plain as a sheet of paper I thought.
Perhaps she was --- before the poem of her life began to be written - turning 'plain' into a masterpiece of rhyme and rhythm.
 
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GaryA

Guest
#31
There was this girl in high school I kind of knew. Didn't know her much on a personal level, just saw her about everyday. I thought she was plain as paper. Then a few years later I met up with her again at a restaurant by accident. She had a ribbon in her hair and when she turned and looked at me her dark eyes almost stung. A little upturn in her quirky smile tore a hole in me.

So what is that exactly? Did I know how unbelievably smart she was, going on later in life to earn two masters? No. Did I have the foresight to judge her character to know she always had my back even when I lost faith in my own self? No. Did I know her courage and sense of adventure jumping in quarry lake that time? No. Did I know her immense heart?
I have a similar story about a girl in high school who - at the time - I thought was "too plain" to bother giving much attention to ( That was a mistake. :rolleyes: ) -- only to discover years later just how wonderful her personality was!

I learned a great lesson from that experience.
 
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GaryA

Guest
#32
Great looking, beautiful figure, nice personality, honest, good sense of humor, sexy, hard worker, intelligent, independent, no bad habits, trustworthy, compassionate, and Christian.. Aside from those requirements, I'm not too fussy :)
In other words, a Proverbs 31 woman. ;) Perfect in every way! :D

:eek:

:eek:
 
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GaryA

Guest
#33
Perhaps she was --- before the poem of her life began to be written - turning 'plain' into a masterpiece of rhyme and rhythm.
BTW -- it was not my intent to portray her life as not being meaningful before that time. Everyone's life is meaningful from birth until death. Rather, I was only trying to paint a picture of a transformation in your perception of her life after the experience of her life rendered her as more attractive to you later on -- and, of course, using poetic terms.
 
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GaryA

Guest
#34
Question for added discussion:

"What 'best' personality traits are the same for men and women, and what 'best' personality traits are separately unique to men and women?"

Once you separate personality traits into these three groups, I believe that you will discover that it is those particular traits of the latter two groups that the OP is interested in discussing. ;)
 
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Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#35
This might be better if put into another thread, but there is something I remember seeing often back in the old days when I still thought I cared about dating. I remember often seeing in profiles that a woman "wants a man who makes me feel safe", and that always confused me.

Why does she need to feel safe? Is she in danger on a constant basis? Is somebody out to hurt her and she needs some BO smelling body guard because somebody is trying to hurt her?

Seems to me if she feels that she is in danger all the time and is looking to feel "safe", she needs to make better life choices to engineer the danger out of her life instead of relying on a boyfriend to chase away the monsters. Just my perception, and it's probably way off, but I've found it curious that the need to feel "safe" was way up on the list of must-haves for a lot of women.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#36
When I think about feeling 'safe' in a relationship, it's not so much about protection from dangerous hazards or dangerous people...more like feeling secure in the fact that your partner will be faithful, doesn't run away or shut you out at the first sign of conflict, is truly invested in the relationship, and the overall feeling that your partner has your back.
 

seoulsearch

Senior Member
May 23, 2009
10,773
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#37
This might be better if put into another thread, but there is something I remember seeing often back in the old days when I still thought I cared about dating. I remember often seeing in profiles that a woman "wants a man who makes me feel safe", and that always confused me.

Why does she need to feel safe? Is she in danger on a constant basis? Is somebody out to hurt her and she needs some BO smelling body guard because somebody is trying to hurt her?

Seems to me if she feels that she is in danger all the time and is looking to feel "safe", she needs to make better life choices to engineer the danger out of her life instead of relying on a boyfriend to chase away the monsters. Just my perception, and it's probably way off, but I've found it curious that the need to feel "safe" was way up on the list of must-haves for a lot of women.
When I think about feeling 'safe' in a relationship, it's not so much about protection from dangerous hazards or dangerous people...more like feeling secure in the fact that your partner will be faithful, doesn't run away or shut you out at the first sign of conflict, is truly invested in the relationship, and the overall feeling that your partner has your back.
Hellooo is absolutely correct.

This is just one example, but I'm sure most people today have dealt with some kind of sexual harassment in the workplace. If I came home from work totally shake and the guy I was with barely looked up from his video games as I told him about what happened, why would I even want to be with him?

If I'm going to have to deal with real-world situations all by myself, I'd rather actually be by myself.

I would hope that the guy would at least listen to what happened, why it upset me, and then be thinking of a practical course of action that should be taken next: Who, exactly would we be up against? Is it worth it to say anything, and should we be calling HR? Do we need to hire a lawyer? And if I do fight the system, what if I lose my job and have a hard time finding work because of it? Will he still support my decision, even if it means tough financial challenges?

When women say we want to feel safe, it means we want someone who's willing to fight with us and for us against the world's injustices.

One thing I loved about my ex is that he had a very protective nature. We started out in place near a row of hedges where someone could easily hide, and he always made sure that he walked on the side closest to the hedge because he told me, "If anyone tries to get to you, they're going to have to go through me first."

There was also a report of a girl who was kidnapped in broad daylight from the store where we used to buy all our groceries. After hearing this, he told me he didn't want me going there alone anymore, and that he wanted me to wait for times when he could go with me.

At first I protested and told him I'd be fine... But then I realized how genuine he was about protecting me whenever possible, and secretly, that melted my heart.
 
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Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#38
Well, that completely answers my question. Thank you.

It does not, however, get me to understand it. *shrug*
 

GOP

Senior Member
Jul 12, 2015
1,657
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#39
Some Christians like me has trouble finding the right guy. But I came up with this thread because I wanted to know what do you like in men and women.

Is it because of their attractiveness? Is it because they make you smile every time you meet him or her? Or is it from God?
LOVE. If she Love GOD with all her Heart then she is the Best. That's the beauty and the best personality to me.
 

EJS1023

Junior Member
Aug 31, 2017
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#40
For me I think a woman who dresses modestly and lets God adjourn her with His Holy Spirit is by far what make a true Christian woman the most beautiful and caring person for Christian men.