You're right that for some very blessed people, it is only "one." Unfortunately, that is not a universal or indeed a Biblical truth. It is a beautiful idea to hold onto during your journey through singlehood. But that same notion keeps innocent people in abusive marriages and prolongs grieving when a marriage ends by death or divorce. It robs the broken of their hope that things will get better, that happiness can be restored. It's pretty, but it's poor theology.
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I just agree to disagree. I explain why I believe what I do in the blog I shared on post #5, if you care to read it. Then you can see why I believe what I believe and why, even if you don't marry 'the one', you are not disqualified from love, happiness or God's call. The main reason people don't want to believe that there is only one for them by God's plan/will/design, is the fear that they will make a mistake or the fear that some will use it as an excuse to divorce and remarry because they've met 'the one' while married to someone else. I address these things in the blog entry.
My belief regarding this is all based on the nature of God and the fact that He has specific plans and wills for each person. To believe that He would leave marriage up to chance or opportunity seems out of character for Him, since He plans our lives joy and peace.
I never condone staying in abusive or unsafe marriages. I don't go into detail in the blog on this issue, as it requires more than a paragraph, but I do mention it. Really...read the blog and then you'll see what I'm saying and why. Not to have you agree with me
just so you can see why I've said what I said and I could, hopefully, stop having to explain.
My belief regarding this is all based on the nature of God and the fact that He has specific plans and wills for each person. To believe that He would leave marriage up to chance or opportunity seems out of character for Him, since He plans our lives joy and peace.
I never condone staying in abusive or unsafe marriages. I don't go into detail in the blog on this issue, as it requires more than a paragraph, but I do mention it. Really...read the blog and then you'll see what I'm saying and why. Not to have you agree with me
just so you can see why I've said what I said and I could, hopefully, stop having to explain.
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I've thought long and hard about such things as "Would I consider marrying a widow?" If she had the attitude of "Yes, I love you....but my first husband was my 'one and only," I would run....the other way. It's not about not wanting to compete with a ghost, but about wanting the relationship with her to be special and unique, as her first marriage was. I would want the marriage to be AS special in her eyes as her first one, although in a different way. If she can't do this...then she is not ready.
I don't see how, if someone believed in the "he's the one/she's the one" thing, he/she would even remarry after the loss of a spouse. It does not seem fair to the other party. I will even go so far as to say it sounds disrespectful. For people in this situation, I see God as compassionate enough to offer His full blessings and approval for the marital covenant twice (or more) in one lifetime.
I don't see how, if someone believed in the "he's the one/she's the one" thing, he/she would even remarry after the loss of a spouse. It does not seem fair to the other party. I will even go so far as to say it sounds disrespectful. For people in this situation, I see God as compassionate enough to offer His full blessings and approval for the marital covenant twice (or more) in one lifetime.
Word. It's not just unfair, but it's against this particular brand of logic. If there really is just one person for everyone, then by marrying after divorce or their spouses death, they would be "stealing" someone else's happily ever after. The concept of only one person for each of us just doesn't make sense. And furthermore, there isn't any biblical ground for it.
I take my 'one for one' based on the character of God. How can one believe that He has a specific plan for each individual except when it comes to who they marry? It's like saying that He says, well, I've got it all planned out, but when it comes to the person you will be deeply intimate with and spend your life with, well, that I didn't give thought to. We'll just see who you want and who you fall in love with and go from there.
It seems as if you're thinking that all marriages are "deeply intimate". They're not. And even if they ARE deeply intimate, they're not in a constant state of it. People get married for lots of reasons. One of the most popular reasons in the church is so the couple can have sex without guilt. This is why divorce is so high in the church. People get married for inane reasons and then wonder what happened.
Furthermore, if God plans marriages, then does that mean he plans divorces too? Or does he only plan the good things? Then again, who says marriage is a good thing between person A and person B? If I had married the first guy who had proposed to me... that would have been a disaster.
Where's the line in regards to the plan of God? What are his decisions and what are ours? Does he care that I'm wearing a green shirt today? If you're going to draw one line in the sand, you have to be willing to draw them all.
So, where are your lines?
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I believe God has a specific person in mind for each person that He has marriage for. This does not mean that we obey Him. So, no, God does not plan divorces. We make our choices, we live with the consequences. Sometimes people even divorce the one that God had intended for them to spend their life with. Just like salvation, we get to choose. I explain all this in the blog entry I mentioned in post #5.
God plans everything. Jesus was slain before the foundations of the world. He has everything planned out and He gives us free will. Those that don't believe that God has a specific spouse in mind for those whom He desires to be married are the ones that believe He has some things planned out and other things not planned out. God doesn't plan out a divorce, but He has a plan for our willful choice to divorce.
I believe God plans our lives to the finest of details, yet gives us choices, because what is love without choice? Thus, we choose to obey or we choose to deviate and He works with us regardless. But, yes, He has a specific plan, including who marries who.
I believe God plans our lives to the finest of details, yet gives us choices, because what is love without choice? Thus, we choose to obey or we choose to deviate and He works with us regardless. But, yes, He has a specific plan, including who marries who.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I haven't asked Him about this specifically, but Ruth is an example of finding love twice and so is Elisabeth Elliot. I just haven't sought God on this point specifically. I, personally, don't believe that He makes two 'ones' for one person, but I do believe it is possible to find love again.
You are talking about God's perfect will verses his permissive will. And I can tell you're a Calvinist. Personally, I'm a 4 out of 5 point Calvinist, but that's another topic completely.
It's an interesting idea that God only plans the good stuff (his perfect will) and yet allows us to mess stuff up to a point (his permissive will). Here's what it comes down to.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter if he's got everything planned down to the millisecond. It doesn't matter if he's got a husband for me or not. It doesn't matter because it doesn't change the deity of Jesus. It doesn't change the fact that's he's the messiah. It could be argued that this whole thing is a doctrinally gray area.
Nice judgement call but I'm not a Calvinist. I believe that God has a perfect plan and will, because His word says so. I believe that man has free will and free choice, because His word says so. I believe that we can step out of His will with our choices but I believe that He still uses us despite this.
I shared my opinion without details, answered two questions, and then entered into a debate. If it doesn't matter, truly, then why is it even being discussed? I admit it is a gnat issue, and the reason that I even engaged was because my opinion was being shed in a light of my making widows feel worthless in their heartbreak, which was never my intention.
And yes, I love to argue.
And yes, no matter what, Jesus is King and He is Messiah. I've never disputed that.
I shared my opinion without details, answered two questions, and then entered into a debate. If it doesn't matter, truly, then why is it even being discussed? I admit it is a gnat issue, and the reason that I even engaged was because my opinion was being shed in a light of my making widows feel worthless in their heartbreak, which was never my intention.
And yes, I love to argue.
And yes, no matter what, Jesus is King and He is Messiah. I've never disputed that.
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It's been discussed because it mattered to someone. However, we often discuss and argue things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. Psychologically speaking, people debate and argue because of various stages of fear, narcissism, and insecurity.
I never said that you disputed whether or not Jesus is who he says he is. My statement was to show that in the big picture (meaning Jesus), this issue is moot.
S
But, but. I can change!!!!
*holding boom box over head*
[video=youtube;zwIAxyRBbMY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwIAxyRBbMY[/video]
You left the window glass broken
Broken a long time ago
And why did I act like it mattered
I just can’t see clear anymore
I hang my clothes up like buildings
I don’t do the dishes anymore
And you know I’m trying to be better
I don’t know what I’m that for
Please, Baby please
Come back to me
Words that have broken
Hearts that have age
Please, Baby please
Come back you’ll see
Windows wide open
For hearts that are long gone away
Do you remember when we felt
The New York we lost in the Spring
Thought that we found it in London
Did we think it would change anything
Please, Baby please
Come back to me
Words that have broken
Hearts that have age
Please, Baby please
If you come back you’ll see
Windows wide open
For hearts that are long gone away
Wait, wait for the day
Wait for the one that takes us away
And as far as I can see
There wasn’t anything you did to me
Please, Baby please
Come back to me
Words that have broken
Hearts that have age
Please, Baby please
If you come back you’ll see
Windows wide open
For hearts that are long gone away
For hearts that are long gone away
For hearts that are long gone away
*holding boom box over head*
[video=youtube;zwIAxyRBbMY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwIAxyRBbMY[/video]
You left the window glass broken
Broken a long time ago
And why did I act like it mattered
I just can’t see clear anymore
I hang my clothes up like buildings
I don’t do the dishes anymore
And you know I’m trying to be better
I don’t know what I’m that for
Please, Baby please
Come back to me
Words that have broken
Hearts that have age
Please, Baby please
Come back you’ll see
Windows wide open
For hearts that are long gone away
Do you remember when we felt
The New York we lost in the Spring
Thought that we found it in London
Did we think it would change anything
Please, Baby please
Come back to me
Words that have broken
Hearts that have age
Please, Baby please
If you come back you’ll see
Windows wide open
For hearts that are long gone away
Wait, wait for the day
Wait for the one that takes us away
And as far as I can see
There wasn’t anything you did to me
Please, Baby please
Come back to me
Words that have broken
Hearts that have age
Please, Baby please
If you come back you’ll see
Windows wide open
For hearts that are long gone away
For hearts that are long gone away
For hearts that are long gone away
J
I absolutely agree with you guys on this. It would be unfair.
People can and do fall in love more than once. It has happened to me. Whether those relationships move toward something more permanent or not is a matter of choice.
It is not wise to marry everyone you love, but it IS wise to love anyone you marry. Anything less is just going through the motions. I can't even begin to imagine trying to live like that.
People can and do fall in love more than once. It has happened to me. Whether those relationships move toward something more permanent or not is a matter of choice.
It is not wise to marry everyone you love, but it IS wise to love anyone you marry. Anything less is just going through the motions. I can't even begin to imagine trying to live like that.
F
So let me get this straight. God has given us free will but we have no choice in who we marry. Huh? This is messed up.
I'm fully Calvinist and even I don't believe God has a one and only for everybody. This is the doctrine of extreme predestination. God said be fruitful and multiply. He didn't say wait till I got somebody figured out for you. Just go and do it.
Christ also said there's no marriage in heaven so it's just a temporary thing. Is God going to match make when it will end one day? No.
Paul said it's better not to marry if one can do so. Clearly there's some people like this. I'm one of them. Does God have a one and only for me? I hardly think not.
There's no solid scriptural basis for this at all.
I'm fully Calvinist and even I don't believe God has a one and only for everybody. This is the doctrine of extreme predestination. God said be fruitful and multiply. He didn't say wait till I got somebody figured out for you. Just go and do it.
Christ also said there's no marriage in heaven so it's just a temporary thing. Is God going to match make when it will end one day? No.
Paul said it's better not to marry if one can do so. Clearly there's some people like this. I'm one of them. Does God have a one and only for me? I hardly think not.
There's no solid scriptural basis for this at all.
Nope. Once again, a clear example of saying exactly what I didn't say. God has a plan for each person, yes? Hopefully we can all agree on this. Does God make us do His will? No. We chose to obey or not. Same principle applies in my mind regarding God having one person in mind for someone. He has a plan for who He wants one to marry. Does He force them to marry? No. And I never said He did. It would be nice if people would actually read carefully. It would save a lot of pointless things like this, because then maybe people would stop putting words in the mouths of others and shining them in a bad light.