What are your thoughts on oral sex after marriage?

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May 6, 2011
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#61
Verses Supporting Oral Sex

Song of Solomon 2:3
As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
Song of Solomon 4:16
Come ... blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
1 Corinthians 7:3
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

From other christian sites:
Question: "What is a Christian couple allowed to do in sex?"

Answer: The Bible says that “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4). Scripture never says what a husband and wife are or are not allowed to do sexually. Husbands and wives are instructed, “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time (1 Corinthians 7:5a). This verse perhaps lays down the principle for sexual relations in marriage. Whatever is done, it should be mutually agreed upon. No one should be encouraged or coerced to do something he or she is uncomfortable with or thinks is wrong. If a husband and wife both agree that they want to try something (e.g., oral sex, different positions, sex toys, etc.), then the Bible does not give any reason why they cannot.

There are a few things, though, that are never allowable sexually for a married couple. The practice of “swapping,” or "swinging/swingers," or “bringing in an extra” (threesomes, foursomes, etc.) is blatant adultery (Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3). Adultery is sin even if your spouse allows, approves, or even participates in it. Pornography appeals to the “lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes” (1 John 2:16) and is therefore condemned by God as well. A husband and wife should never bring pornography into their sexual union. Other than these two items, there is nothing that Scripture explicitly forbids a husband and wife to do with each other as long as it is by mutual consent.
 
G

goasia

Guest
#62
Well, if you don't' believe all of the Bible that's a problem. Either the Bible is true in its fullness or it is false throughout there's no in between. Well, Solomon was the wisest and richest man to ever live. I think the church in its attempts to prevent sexual immoralities has mistakenly made sex something that is supposed to be gross when in reality sex is from God and is made to be beautiful. WEll, some people are not meant to be married for whatever reason, but that doesn't not mean a married couple should not be able to enjoy each other.
I thought it's common for different christian demominations...
to accept certain parts of the bible and reject other parts of it.

Not necessarily a big problem in my opinion.
I posted a more detailed reply about this matter,
in this thread page #2 ->> http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/28596-christianity-box-2.html
 
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needmesomejesus

Guest
#63
I thought it's common for different christian demominations...
to accept certain parts of the bible and reject other parts of it.

Not necessarily a big problem in my opinion.
I posted a more detailed reply about this matter,
in this thread page #2 ->> http://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/28596-christianity-box-2.html

I don't know I'm not a fan of denominations, but of the denominations I know of its not that they don't believe the whole Bible as they can't agree how to interpret the Bible.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,585
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#64
I weep for the sanity of married and future married people if this is the attitude of today.
I weep for the single and future single people so between us we're a bunch of big crybabies :D
 
M

Maddog

Guest
#65
Well probably because homosexuality is between two men, and God created sex for a man and woman.
Well, obviously. But what's so special about heterosexual sex? Why did God order it thusly? Could it have anything to do with 'Go forth and multiply'?

So thats where the unnaturality comes in not the various acts that are engaged in during. I dont even see how that was really a complicated issue there. I figured it was self explanatory.
Huh, well I thought it was fairly self explanatory as well, but we've both come to different conclusions.

And no the reason its just for men and women is not procreation. God made it for pleasure between a husband and wife as well. Just to head that argument off at the pass.
Are you saying that the fact that it takes a man and a woman to procreate is just a happy accident or a secondary aspect at best to sex? Are children merely a byproduct of a man and wife's pleasurable exploits?

And if the main reason for sex is pleasure then a homosexual couple can just as easily fulfill that critera when they have sex. So it's difficult to say that what they're doing is unnatural if they are fulfilling the natural end of sex.
 
May 6, 2011
640
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#66
Well, obviously. But what's so special about heterosexual sex? Why did God order it thusly? Could it have anything to do with 'Go forth and multiply'?


Huh, well I thought it was fairly self explanatory as well, but we've both come to different conclusions.


Are you saying that the fact that it takes a man and a woman to procreate is just a happy accident or a secondary aspect at best to sex? Are children merely a byproduct of a man and wife's pleasurable exploits?

And if the main reason for sex is pleasure then a homosexual couple can just as easily fulfill that critera when they have sex. So it's difficult to say that what they're doing is unnatural if they are fulfilling the natural end of sex.
I mean if you really want to believe that procreation is the main reason to have sex, then go ahead. No one is stopping you. I may think you're incredibly wrong and will be missing out on a fun/intimate journey.

If God was cool with gay sex then he probably would have said so. But he didnt. He never says why ay sex is unnatural. The closest i would think would be in leviticus where it says 'thou shalt not lay with a man, as with a woman'
This tends to indicate that if they were doing things with men like they did them with womnan, that the acts were already being done with women and no one had issues with it.
 
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Maddog

Guest
#67
So Megatron, you believe that the procreative aspect of sex has nothing to do with why heterosexual unions are natural and homosexual ones unnatural? Homosexuality is unnatural 'just because'?

Just making sure I'm following you.
 
May 6, 2011
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#68
So Megatron, you believe that the procreative aspect of sex has nothing to do with why heterosexual unions are natural and homosexual ones unnatural? Homosexuality is unnatural 'just because'?

Just making sure I'm following you.
I really think the lack or procreation or not has nothing to do with the restrictions of homosexuality. I mean it ever says procreation is the main reason for sex in the bible either. So why you think that is the main reason i dont know. God made man and woman...he made her as a mate not as a breeding farm so clearly procreation wasnt the main goal. not to mention im sure there are planety of unnatural ways a heterosexual couple can engage...but then the bible speaks nothing to those ways either. So I would say it has to do with the fact its two guys or girls.
 

RoboOp

Administrator
Staff member
Aug 4, 2008
1,419
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#69
All I have to say is: Marry a godly woman/man then do what you want in the privacy of your bedroom, and give thanks :D
 
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Maddog

Guest
#70
I really think the lack or procreation or not has nothing to do with the restrictions of homosexuality. I mean it ever says procreation is the main reason for sex in the bible either. So why you think that is the main reason i dont know.
Natural Law and reason, though as I've already articulated, the Bible gives us a head start by specifically calling homosexulity unnatural (though it needn't have for us to know this). From there it's simply a matter of asking what about it makes it unnatural, ie. how is it going against the design and purpose of sex?

Of course, the above only makes sense if we assume from the outset that God isn't arbitrary and He orders creation as He does for a reason. I also reject the notion that children are mere by-products of sex. I'll even go as far as saying that if children weren't the natural end of sex, then God wouldn't have made sex nearly as pleasurable as it is, if at all.

God made man and woman...he made her as a mate not as a breeding farm so clearly procreation wasnt the main goal.
If it were as a mate then there is no reason why He couldn't have given Adam another bloke. But it's a good job He went with Eve in the end because otherwise His Genesis 1:28 instruction to 'be fruitful and multiply' would have drawn funny looks. Again though, I'm assuming God isn't arbitrary and that he specifically gave Adam a woman because of her unique ability to become pregnant. Steve, as good a mate as he would have been, simply wouldn't have been up to the task.

not to mention im sure there are planety of unnatural ways a heterosexual couple can engage
Yes there are...

but then the bible speaks nothing to those ways either.
Does it need to?

So I would say it has to do with the fact its two guys or girls.
Just because, right?
 
K

KanMarMc

Guest
#71
Ummmm it's probably not a sin but it is disgusting, I don't know of any girl that would be ok with that
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
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#72
I wasn't going to say anything, so I won't...

(Bride) Awake, O north wind
And come, wind of the south
Make my garden breathe out fragrance
Let its spices be wafted abroad
May my beloved come into his garden
And eat its choice fruits!
Song of Solomon 4:16
 
May 6, 2011
640
2
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#73
THis is the last thing im going to say on this thread. When you get married, and you and your wife/husband are ready to consummate marriage for the first time...just do whatever the two of you want. If you want to do oral then go for it, if you dont thats cool too.
 

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2011
6,397
109
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#74
Am I the only person that is actually laughing my tail off at this thread yet at the same time a little bit shocked, appalled and literally wondering how some of you come up with certain conclusions?

No, I am not married.
No, I am not a virgin.

Do I believe it is a sin to have oral sex inmarriage? No.

Also, with all due respect to those that have posted before me....a few of you have been TOTALLY MISINFORMED on sex. There is nothing wrong with people giving their views, but if you are not even educated on sex and don't really know what goes on then you are making an ignorant statement. I am not talking about educated as in experience either.
For example, oral sex does not cause cancer. If it did then my guess is a HUGE and i mean HUGE number of the sexually active population would have their throats rotted out. Oral sex is alot more common that you may think.

Is oral sex nasty? Well, yes...sex in general is nasty if you have multiple partners. It is unclean, and disgusting.

So please, read a few medical books or something on sexual intercourse at LEAST. I am saying this to help those(even myself) that when we do enter marriage we are at least properly educated. Im not saying this to be a pervert, but as someone that is of age, and has already had a child it helps to know some things.


What a married couple does in the bedroom is their business.

And to those that may think i am a hypocrite to speak of sex during marriage because I have admitted to having premarrital sex...well, call me what you want, but I do believe one should wait til marriage. Why do I believe this? The fact that I have had sex shows that I may have "higher" expecttions for my future husband. I hope some understnd what I mean by that.

Also, I have a child, and no husband to help raise him. I love my son more than anything and me being a single mother does not make me less of a mother, but it is difficult. I do it on my own, with no male support. God did not intend for it to be that way, but my irresponsiblilty caused it. Sex should be saved for marriage, even oral sex and any other sexual activities. And no one outside of the marriage should judge what a married couple does, and long as it is scriptual and done in respect.
 
I

iraasuup

Guest
#75
Verses Supporting Oral Sex

Song of Solomon 2:3
As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
Song of Solomon 4:16
Come ... blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
1 Corinthians 7:3
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

From other christian sites:
Question: "What is a Christian couple allowed to do in sex?"

Answer: The Bible says that “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4). Scripture never says what a husband and wife are or are not allowed to do sexually. Husbands and wives are instructed, “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time (1 Corinthians 7:5a). This verse perhaps lays down the principle for sexual relations in marriage. Whatever is done, it should be mutually agreed upon. No one should be encouraged or coerced to do something he or she is uncomfortable with or thinks is wrong. If a husband and wife both agree that they want to try something (e.g., oral sex, different positions, sex toys, etc.), then the Bible does not give any reason why they cannot.

There are a few things, though, that are never allowable sexually for a married couple. The practice of “swapping,” or "swinging/swingers," or “bringing in an extra” (threesomes, foursomes, etc.) is blatant adultery (Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3). Adultery is sin even if your spouse allows, approves, or even participates in it. Pornography appeals to the “lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes” (1 John 2:16) and is therefore condemned by God as well. A husband and wife should never bring pornography into their sexual union. Other than these two items, there is nothing that Scripture explicitly forbids a husband and wife to do with each other as long as it is by mutual consent.

You hit the nail on the head here my friend.. but let me add my thoughts to this real quick:

In a nutshell here's what I think (this is the voice of a 29 yr old married-nearly-7-years-female here)

What one christian married couple choose to do behind closed doors is between them and GOD only. No-one else has to right to offer an opinion or cast judgement on such matters. What's good and acceptable for some may not be for others..and I'm okay with that, because at the end of the day it's none of my business what another couple do.

Tell me, honestly, how does it affect my life, or my spiritual walk with God, or my relationships with people around me, or my day-to-day schedule if a couple choose to have oral sex or not? REALLY?

This is ridiculous. How about we let each couple make up their own minds, and we just get on with our own lives and stop being so legalistic about matters that are of total irrelevance to us and our faith.

THE END!
 
I

iraasuup

Guest
#76
All I have to say is: Marry a godly woman/man then do you want in the privacy of your bedroom, and give thanks :D

Couldn't agree more Robo.

hehe I particularly like the 'give thanks' bit, but in all seriousness - do whatever you as a couple feel comfortable with, whilst of course still respecting one another. There's no right or wrong way ..just as long as you're respecting one anothers wishes, then just figure out what works for you as a couple.

I really don't know what else to say!
 
I

iraasuup

Guest
#77
causes of mouth, throat cancer
I am know about guys who damage because of this

Throat Cancer? That's the most hilariously uneducated thing I've ever heard someone say!

That it is an utterly ridiculous thing to say, and completely untrue.

On a more disturbing note however, I notice you say you know 'guys' who are damaged because of this...um do I need to clarify that 'guys' shouldn't be participating in said activity with other 'guys'? I know this wasn't specified, but c'mon people, how could a 'male' possibly get 'throat cancer' from performing oral sex on a FEMALE partner... (if indeed oral sex actually gave one throat cancer at all).

I'm sorry. I'm done here. I can't see the keyboard anymore through the tears of laughter streaming down my face. I can't breathe right now, and I fear that if I continue trying to type whilst in this state, my life would actually be at greater risk of danger than it would be from engaging in the aforementioned 'evil' activity!
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,585
4,271
113
#78
On a more disturbing note however, I notice you say you know 'guys' who are damaged because of this...um do I need to clarify that 'guys' shouldn't be participating in said activity with other 'guys'? I know this wasn't specified, but c'mon people, how could a 'male' possibly get 'throat cancer' from performing oral sex on a FEMALE partner... (if indeed oral sex actually gave one throat cancer at all).
You've spotted the elephant in the room, Katie!! And it flew right over my head too!
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#79
All I have to say is: Marry a godly woman/man then do you want in the privacy of your bedroom, and give thanks :D
AMEN....................................! :)

And I'm so happy about the posters who actually have Song of Solomon in their Bibles..and have bothered to read it. :)
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#80
Throat Cancer? That's the most hilariously uneducated thing I've ever heard someone say!

That it is an utterly ridiculous thing to say, and completely untrue.

On a more disturbing note however, I notice you say you know 'guys' who are damaged because of this...um do I need to clarify that 'guys' shouldn't be participating in said activity with other 'guys'? I know this wasn't specified, but c'mon people, how could a 'male' possibly get 'throat cancer' from performing oral sex on a FEMALE partner... (if indeed oral sex actually gave one throat cancer at all).

I'm sorry. I'm done here. I can't see the keyboard anymore through the tears of laughter streaming down my face. I can't breathe right now, and I fear that if I continue trying to type whilst in this state, my life would actually be at greater risk of danger than it would be from engaging in the aforementioned 'evil' activity!
<<>>

If the shoe is comfortable, buy it in EVERY colour!

...... I think that julieannie, allfunfor, and, iraaasUP need to all get together for a shoe-day sometime, theres probably a couple others that could join this stilletto magnolias group but those are the three off the top of my head that are a shoo-in for this shoe party :D .

OH, this topic, yes, sigh, this topic....well, I guess I can give you all a shoe-ful. The Lord leads. I am not married, never been, never, well, never, I like Passion and Purity book.

Sorry, nothing to say (like do I EVER have nothing to say, LOL), eXcept it is WRONG to have sex outside of marriage but what happens in marriage is PURELY between God and the TWO married. And it is WRONG to NOT forgive someone who has had it outside marriage too, for those condemners out there, please go read the Mary Magdalene story in newtestament gospels, because their relationship with Jesus is PERSONAL. And besides we all got CRAWS in our closet, so to speak, and, judging others is wron,wrong, wrong, in any way, shape or form.
. God bless everyone speaking this topic with the words of God (Holy Spirit bred and said) from your lips. :)
 
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