What do women want? Guys only!

[GandalfTheWhite]

also, what you wrote was a little confusing for me. can you please clarify how it is that the man you're dating "takes you sexually" in a manner that makes you feel respected and cared for? and,especially as a christian woman? because i'm not sure i'd feel terribly loved or respected by a boyfriend who was okay with having sex with me before we were married.

perhaps i'm misunderstanding what being "taken sexually" means. because, where i'm from, it doesn't mean he takes you to a square dance. : ) maybe you mean something else by that phrase.

anyway, i'd be grateful if you'd clarify yourself.

Well hmmmm....... English is my second language but I think you nailed it sister

 

[PoetMary]

post a men only topic, women invade it.

I think this is seriously unfair.. I have a friend (who is a female), and she told me that this forum has a ONLY FEMALE viewing post all for themselves.

Men don't have one, they have to make a public post for both male and female viewers to see.. which means men don't get any privacy, but women do. Privilege much?

Men NEED their own space to express themselves. So this whole time men are just wanting space for themselves, women keep all their talks private in some other hidden forum. This is freaking hypocritical.

Yes, and when I suggested that the men petition for such a location (which seems perfectly reasonable to me considering there is a "men's room" on the chat, but no place here on the boards), I was labelled a bully.

 

[secularhermit]

No fair, beth, no fair. :. (

Ruth and Booz had their good times and, as you´ve said: no fair.

Each time I think I could be getting too old, ugly or sick (with a model like Ruth) who probably would go shopping without me, I don´t know who would be 1st a prey of vultures...

 

[WoundedWarrior]

post a men only topic, women invade it.

I think this is seriously unfair.. I have a friend (who is a female), and she told me that this forum has a ONLY FEMALE viewing post all for themselves.

Men don't have one, they have to make a public post for both male and female viewers to see.. which means men don't get any privacy, but women do. Privilege much?

Men NEED their own space to express themselves. So this whole time men are just wanting space for themselves, women keep all their talks private in some other hidden forum. This is freaking hypocritical.

Imagine this: "What do men want? Ladies only!" - Do you think all men would simply ignore this thread title?!

If you want a post to be for men only, state it FIRST in the subject: "MEN ONLY! (Topic: What do women want?)" - This would make it much clearer.

But ultimately, no one can expect everyone to abide by the request of male/female only - this forum is simply not designed in that manner.

Furthermore, (after reading this entire thread) it is quite obvious to me, that all of the women who posted did so in an honest and respectable manner - their words were wise, yet they were ignored. Were they ignored simply because they are women? Or were they ignored, simply because some men failed to understand their point of views? **Yes, I do understand that some women also posted some lightly sarcastic and humorous posts - but, if you notice, all of their posts of this nature occurred AFTER they attempted to be sincere. Their sincere words were blatantly dismissed, and so, following-up with sarcastic humor is to be expected!!!

Anyway, the idea of petitioning for a "Male-Only" forum/thread has already been mentioned - If you're serious about it, how about you contact a forum administrator with your request - I think this would be much more productive, than a general blanket-statement of calling folks "hypocritical" in this thread.

 

[WoundedWarrior]

So... you aren't going to help me understand your perspective and where I might be missing God? I'm not being accusative or defensive. I am honestly, really and truly asking you to help me see if I have missed it somewhere.

In the absence of biblical correction, I presume that it's your opinion that these men's view - which mirror my own - are unbiblical. And I will then proceed with my opinion as it stands. I'm giving you an opening to correct my thinking, will you?


Edit: Subject/Verb agreement.

Good day Olerica,

I believe both men and women have been misunderstood and/or ignored by the creator of this thread (Mitspa). I understand your frustration -- it's no fun, to offer sincere words only to have them completely ignored and/or misunderstood.

Unfortunately, at this point in the thread, it is quite obvious (to me) that Mitspa (and people who think like him) are not going to be able to understand you, and others, points of view. Maybe someday -- but not today, probably not tomorrow, and probably not for quite a while.

I appreciate your sincerity and candour - and I, like you, wish that folks like Mitspa could simply "get it" without putting up a defensive wall and resort to calling folks bullies.

Respectfully,
WW

 

[WoundedWarrior]

This post confirms quite a bit of what I suspected about you.


First, if you didn't think you would have to answer for every word or thought you have, you shouldn't post in an open forum. Because even if the we women hadn't posted, you'd still have to answer to the men.

Second, no one accused you of anything. At first. Later, absolutely. Later, after you had dug your own grave, yes, there were accusations. But man, you handed those to us on a silver platter too.

Third, turn about is fair play. Are you familiar with that phrase? I'm going to assume you are because it's fairly common, and you're not a millennial. If "boys will be boys" and y'all get to have all your male tendencies (sin and all), then we women get to follow our flesh as well. Because that's what you're doing. You're following your sinful nature. You're buying into the worldly nonsense, you're buying into a lot of good ole boy stuff too.

I'm sorry you've encountered relationships (romantic and platonic) with women that have jaded you. But you're an adult now. You've got to let the things you've been taught, and the things you've seen, go. Embrace the Godly man. Talk to Willie, talk to some of the other men on CC. Compare the biblical man they know to yours and think about the difference.

I liked this post so much, because DuchessAimee displays a clear understanding of the thread in its entirety.

Embrace the Godly man. Talk to Willie, talk to some of the other men on CC. Compare the biblical man they know to yours and think about the difference.

The above is the best answer that can be given, if the question is: "What do women want?" Early on, Willie-T and ChandlerFan were hitting the nail on the head. But it seems that their words did not sink in with you, Mitspa. I say this, because your 1-liner responses to their deep and sincere posts did not show any of us that you understood what they said. Similarly, your responses to the wise women who shared their sincere thoughts were also very brief -- and did not show any of us that you took their words to heart -- that you understood what they were intending to convey.

Edit: Just wanted to add that Lynx and Ugly also seem to "get it".

 

[WoundedWarrior]

I want to restrict this thread to men trying to figure this mystery out and women can only like a post...we don't want no guys getting hurt on this thread or taking a beat down like we have seen so often when these kinds of issues are discussed.

I understand what your saying...but I think its healthy for men to discuss these matters and to be able to learn from other men..from a mans perspective. I cant stop a woman from posting on this thread ....I just thought it might be entertaining to them to hear how guys think...without telling them how they should think

No its not...this thread was not silly until you and your buddy made it that way

I think I was hoping for a conversation where men where not attacked for being men..and see if they could come to their own understanding without being told what they should think.

Your right...I did intend it to be a bit of fun...I had most the day off

Look almost every thread on this forum is made to get some kind of reaction...that don't mean its trolling and thanks for telling me how I should think and act...I will have a wife for that one day...but im glad your here to help me out of my maleness

This is the reason...I wanted a thread where guys had liberty to express themselves and not have every single word challenged by the thought police.

Look ---- a conversation among the guys was not going to hurt anyone and could have be helpful and a little fun...but folks are just too uptight and don't seem to be able to take things the way they are intended.

My objectives was to just have a fun discussion and see what guys would say if they was given a chance to talk with the guys...you do know that guys talk different about women..when they are just with other guys?

I thought it would be entertaining and could actually help guys learn from other guys.

Yea I think that's part of the thought process I have...but its not the objective of the thread

No it was never my intention to get into a back and forth and have to answer for every word and thought I have...

That's part of the point...that you gals get so accusative and defensive when this issue comes up...just relax..guys will be guys and its not wrong for them to have male type thoughts and opinions

lol ...now that's kinda funny

now you got the intention of the thread...

I really believe because some women cannot discuss this issue without getting offended and trying to impose their thoughts on men...thus it would have been nice to see what the guys could have figured out .

like I said..its not possible to discuss this issue without folks being forced and bullied into some kind of box by those who cant seem to allow that others have valid thoughts as well.

Im not being unreasonable ..you guys are...your being bullies

You guys know Im getting PMs from other ladies on the forum, telling me that Im right? I guess they are afraid you guys will beat them up?

So are you saying that people ..men a women who see this issue in a different way...should not be allowed to express their thoughts in public? See you guys are mean when it comes to this issue and cant allow anyone to have a different view or opinion.

My point is and was that you guys wont allow other views without getting upset and unreasonable about this issue.

So because "you think" im unreasonable ..that's why your unreasonable....thats not reasonable

You guys do bully folks on this issue...im not the only one who thinks that.. and its not just guys

lol no..im just saying that "maybe" you gals could try to be a little more patient with folks and allow others to have different points of view on this issue without giving them the beatdown .. chill out some ..that's what im saying

Mitspa,

I understand that some posts (by ladies) were removed or edited, and so I will likely never completely understand everything as it occurred to you. However, I have read the entire thread and I have a pretty good understanding of what went down thus far.

Within the early posts, ChandlerFan and Willie-T were offering sound advice and opinions -- but, it looks like you brushed off their words. The reason I say this, is because rather than building off of their thoughts (continuing conversation), you simply offered an agreement or a disagreement -- a "thank you, this is what I was looking for" or a "no thank you, this is not what I was looking for". This is evident throughout the thread, where you do the same thing to women who offered their sincere advice/opinions.

When someone (male or female) offers their sincere opinion or personal advice, their words should be understood as just that -- their opinion. I see no evidence of women (or men) attempting to "tell you how you should think". I also see no bullying here. What I see, is a man who has difficulties communicating with women. I see folks who are offering the best advice (talk with Godly married men), and I see that advice basically being ignored. I see women, chiming in, who agree with the words of these Godly men -- and even add their own perspective from that of a Godly woman. But, like the advice of the wise men in this thread, their words never seemed to hit fertile soil with you either.

No one is attacking you, Mitspa. No one is bullying anyone here. People are simply being honest and sincere -- and hoping something will sink-in with you.

I think your initial intention was sincere and good-hearted:

I want to restrict this thread to men trying to figure this mystery out and women can only like a post...we don't want no guys getting hurt on this thread or taking a beat down like we have seen so often when these kinds of issues are discussed.

Instead, mostly due to a lack of displaying understanding (not only you - understanding goes both ways), the thread ended up becoming a source of frustration for some and entertainment for others (hopefully some positive results as well). Someone brought up the idea of petitioning an administrator for a MEN ONLY forum/thread -- I think this is a great idea, are you going to consider it?

Kind Regards,
WW

 

[jsr1221]

Mitspa,

I understand that some posts (by ladies) were removed or edited, and so I will likely never completely understand everything as it occurred to you. However, I have read the entire thread and I have a pretty good understanding of what went down thus far.

Within the early posts, ChandlerFan and Willie-T were offering sound advice and opinions -- but, it looks like you brushed off their words. The reason I say this, is because rather than building off of their thoughts (continuing conversation), you simply offered an agreement or a disagreement -- a "thank you, this is what I was looking for" or a "no thank you, this is not what I was looking for". This is evident throughout the thread, where you do the same thing to women who offered their sincere advice/opinions.

When someone (male or female) offers their sincere opinion or personal advice, their words should be understood as just that -- their opinion. I see no evidence of women (or men) attempting to "tell you how you should think". I also see no bullying here. What I see, is a man who has difficulties communicating with women. I see folks who are offering the best advice (talk with Godly married men), and I see that advice basically being ignored. I see women, chiming in, who agree with the words of these Godly men -- and even add their own perspective from that of a Godly woman. But, like the advice of the wise men in this thread, their words never seemed to hit fertile soil with you either.

No one is attacking you, Mitspa. No one is bullying anyone here. People are simply being honest and sincere -- and hoping something will sink-in with you.

I think your initial intention was sincere and good-hearted:

Instead, mostly due to a lack of displaying understanding (not only you - understanding goes both ways), the thread ended up becoming a source of frustration for some and entertainment for others (hopefully some positive results as well). Someone brought up the idea of petitioning an administrator for a MEN ONLY forum/thread -- I think this is a great idea, are you going to consider it?

Kind Regards,
WW

In addition to misunderstanding and frustration, women also created a thread similar to this with a little bit of mocking behind it. But anyway, men will never truly understand women. Women don't even truly understand women. And women will never truly understand men, just like men don't truly understand men. We're all messed up one way or another. But you know who does understand? God. So instead trying to figure out what women want, and for any ladies reading this, trying to figure out what men want, why not figure out what God wants? He created us, after all. He knows better than all of us. Seek Him, and you'll find your answers.

 

[Mitspa]

Mitspa,

I understand that some posts (by ladies) were removed or edited, and so I will likely never completely understand everything as it occurred to you. However, I have read the entire thread and I have a pretty good understanding of what went down thus far.

Within the early posts, ChandlerFan and Willie-T were offering sound advice and opinions -- but, it looks like you brushed off their words. The reason I say this, is because rather than building off of their thoughts (continuing conversation), you simply offered an agreement or a disagreement -- a "thank you, this is what I was looking for" or a "no thank you, this is not what I was looking for". This is evident throughout the thread, where you do the same thing to women who offered their sincere advice/opinions.

When someone (male or female) offers their sincere opinion or personal advice, their words should be understood as just that -- their opinion. I see no evidence of women (or men) attempting to "tell you how you should think". I also see no bullying here. What I see, is a man who has difficulties communicating with women. I see folks who are offering the best advice (talk with Godly married men), and I see that advice basically being ignored. I see women, chiming in, who agree with the words of these Godly men -- and even add their own perspective from that of a Godly woman. But, like the advice of the wise men in this thread, their words never seemed to hit fertile soil with you either.

No one is attacking you, Mitspa. No one is bullying anyone here. People are simply being honest and sincere -- and hoping something will sink-in with you.

I think your initial intention was sincere and good-hearted:

Instead, mostly due to a lack of displaying understanding (not only you - understanding goes both ways), the thread ended up becoming a source of frustration for some and entertainment for others (hopefully some positive results as well). Someone brought up the idea of petitioning an administrator for a MEN ONLY forum/thread -- I think this is a great idea, are you going to consider it?

Kind Regards,
WW

Thanks for your kindness really...but I think you have a understanding of how a man should see the whole male-female relationship that you base on your honest perspective and probably life experience... I am a bit more unclear about what others seem to think is so clear.. I see in many mens post on this thread a desire to say what they know women want to hear and not what they really believe or would say in a male only conversation. I know what I am...Im a man..very male, with a very male outlook on things..Im not ready to accept all this advice im hearing from certain men...and think maybe in some ways they need some advice from me, on how to be ok being a male?

 

[secularhermit]

"...Im not ready to accept all this advice im hearing from certain men...and think maybe in some ways they need some advice from me, on how to be ok being a male?..."

That´s odd!

So you started a thread to post your own and unilateral opinions (with a "warn" saying: "Only men").

What a contradictory approach you often show, but I knew how things are when I replied using a picture like these:

 

[Mitspa]

"...Im not ready to accept all this advice im hearing from certain men...and think maybe in some ways they need some advice from me, on how to be ok being a male?..."

That´s odd!

So you started a thread to post your own and unilateral opinions (with a "warn" saying: "Only men").

What a contradictory approach you often show, but I knew how things are when I replied using a picture like these:

View attachment 129372

Yes it seems some need to hear its ok to be male..and to have a male perspective. Jesus was a man..did you know that?

 

[secularhermit]

Don´t use Him as a shield (be brave!)

Just allow ppl express, freely, their OWN opinions, not yours (as long as ppl respect other perspectives and rights).

 

[Mitspa]

Don´t use Him as a shield (be brave!)

Just allow ppl express, freely, their OWN opinions, not yours (as long ppl respect other perspectives and rights).

He is my shield ..and its my opinion that men should know its ok to be men and have a male perspective

 

[WoundedWarrior]

Thanks for your kindness really...but I think you have a understanding of how a man should see the whole male-female relationship that you base on your honest perspective and probably life experience... I am a bit more unclear about what others seem to think is so clear.. I see in many mens post on this thread a desire to say what they know women want to hear and not what they really believe or would say in a male only conversation. I know what I am...Im a man..very male, with a very male outlook on things..Im not ready to accept all this advice im hearing from certain men...and think maybe in some ways they need some advice from me, on how to be ok being a male?

Let me attempt, once again, to make clear what is unclear to you. Though many before me have already said this: FOCUS ON GOD.

Godly women want Godly men, just as Godly men want Godly women.

When we (humans) put God first in our lives, nothing else matters because we trust that everything will occur within God's plan.

Edit:

He is my shield ..and its my opinion that men should know its ok to be men and have a male perspective

The only perspective that is acceptable is God's perspective.

 

[Mitspa]

Let me attempt, once again, to make clear what is unclear to you. Though many before me have already said this: FOCUS ON GOD.

Godly women want Godly men, just as Godly men want Godly women.

When we (humans) put God first in our lives, nothing else matters because we trust that everything will occur within God's plan.

Thank you for your advice...have a good day

 

[JonahLynx]

Likely none of the women would have posted in this thread if it didn't appear willingly ignorant. Asking men what women's opinions are is counterproductive, so some of them felt that they could easily answer the question if you just included them in the discussion. If you made a thread called "What Should We Do For Our Wives (Guys Only!)," I don't think any of the ladies would have felt as much of a need to post.

So yeah, they probably should have just respected the title and ignored the thread, given the lack of a men's forum. But surely you can see how silly it is excluding them from answering a question about women's thoughts? How could other guys possibly answer this question as accurately as the source?

 

[secularhermit]

He is my shield ..and its my opinion that men should know its ok to be men and have a male perspective

Behave like you said (LOVE NOT LEGALISM! ) then!

Each time you get in "troubles" you assume that legalism, like "He is my shield" or anything like saying "Goodbye and have a good day".

You can do as you do, no one would doubt it, but I won´t call my dad to fight my arguments in public discussion which -happily- is sound, honest and clean.

Well! Just sorry, I don´t like those legalism used as a banner like "I have the authority of Christ"... To undermine ppl ideas and their free will to express their thoughts?

That was not the male role Jesus assumed during His earthly life.

But I don´t use God´s name in vain.

Exo 20:7 Do not misuse my name. I am the LORD your God, and I will punish anyone who misuses my name.

 

[beth22]

actually, i'm a little curious if YOU read it. : )


beth, welcome to the forum. it's great to see new faces.

also, what you wrote was a little confusing for me. can you please clarify how it is that the man you're dating "takes you sexually" in a manner that makes you feel respected and cared for? and,especially as a christian woman? because i'm not sure i'd feel terribly loved or respected by a boyfriend who was okay with having sex with me before we were married.

perhaps i'm misunderstanding what being "taken sexually" means. because, where i'm from, it doesn't mean he takes you to a square dance. : ) maybe you mean something else by that phrase.

anyway, i'd be grateful if you'd clarify yourself.

Basically what I meant is I prefer a strong, self assured man who isn't afraid to take charge, not just in the bedroom, but other aspects as well. And yes, i meant within the confines of marriage.

 

[skylove7]

Well I want a 'Blobfish' from a man

That's what I want!

Plopped down smack in the middle of our dining room table

So I can pop a cigar in its mouth
And teach it to sing "Que Sera Sera' by Doris Day

That's all I know

 

[JesusLives]

Imagine this: "What do men want? Ladies only!" - Do you think all men would simply ignore this thread title?!

If you want a post to be for men only, state it FIRST in the subject: "MEN ONLY! (Topic: What do women want?)" - This would make it much clearer.

But ultimately, no one can expect everyone to abide by the request of male/female only - this forum is simply not designed in that manner.

Furthermore, (after reading this entire thread) it is quite obvious to me, that all of the women who posted did so in an honest and respectable manner - their words were wise, yet they were ignored. Were they ignored simply because they are women? Or were they ignored, simply because some men failed to understand their point of views? **Yes, I do understand that some women also posted some lightly sarcastic and humorous posts - but, if you notice, all of their posts of this nature occurred AFTER they attempted to be sincere. Their sincere words were blatantly dismissed, and so, following-up with sarcastic humor is to be expected!!!

Anyway, the idea of petitioning for a "Male-Only" forum/thread has already been mentioned - If you're serious about it, how about you contact a forum administrator with your request - I think this would be much more productive, than a general blanket-statement of calling folks "hypocritical" in this thread.

Yay a man who read what we said and gets it........ This sir is probably one of the reasons why you are married. You listen and heard what we saying.....Kudos to you...God bless you and your family..... Your wife is a blessed woman to have you understanding her.