What do women want? Guys only!

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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4,795
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I really believe because some women cannot discuss this issue without getting offended and trying to impose their thoughts on men...thus it would have been nice to see what the guys could have figured out .
But I think this illustrates the whole problem we've been running into lately.

If a man (or anyone else, for that matter):

1. thinks women are impossible and can't discuss things without flying off the handle
2. hates feminists and can tell you every reason why
3. doesn't have a clue about women but isn't willing to hear what they have to say
4. wants a 70-pound wife who never eats sweets and whom he can carry the whole time while performing a triathlon,

then he certainly has the right to that opinion.

And if he wants to publicly state that this is the way he feels in a thread, he has the right to do so.

However, I think there needs to be a clear distinction in someone saying, "This is what I, as an individual believe," rather than trying to present his thoughts as a representation of what all men (or any group as whole) believe or how they feel. State your beliefs as an individual person, not as someone who speaks for your entire gender.

Likewise, let members of the other gender speak for themselves as individuals and acknowledge them as individuals, and don't just make sweeping statements such as, "Women can't talk about anything without getting offended." Don't speak for the group you're addressing. Let them speak for themselves.

For some reason, there seems to be a rampant belief here that if one person feels a certain way, surely all the other members of the group must feel or behave the same way, and anyone who has any experience in dealing with people knows that this is simply not true.
 
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Hellooo

Guest
I really believe because some women cannot discuss this issue without getting offended and trying to impose their thoughts on men...thus it would have been nice to see what the guys could have figured out .
 
M

Mitspa

Guest
But I think this illustrates the whole problem we've been running into lately.

If a man (or anyone else, for that matter):

1. thinks women are impossible and can't discuss things without flying off the handle
2. hates feminists and can tell you every reason why
3. doesn't have a clue about women but isn't willing to hear what they have to say
4. wants a 70-pound wife who never eats sweets and whom he can carry the whole time while performing a triathlon,

then he certainly has the right to that opinion.

And if he wants to publicly state that this is the way he feels in a thread, he has the right to do so.

However, I think there needs to be a clear distinction in someone saying, "This is what I, as an individual believe," rather than trying to present his thoughts as a representation of what all men (or any group as whole) believe or how they feel. State your beliefs as an individual person, not as someone who speaks for your entire gender.

Likewise, let members of the other gender speak for themselves as individuals and acknowledge them as individuals, and don't just make sweeping statements such as, "Women can't talk about anything without getting offended."

For some reason, there seems to be a rampant belief here that if one person feels a certain way, surely all the other members of the group must feel or behave the same way, and anyone with any experience with people knows that this is simply not true.
like I said..its not possible to discuss this issue without folks being forced and bullied into some kind of box by those who cant seem to allow that others have valid thoughts as well.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,558
4,795
113
*Sigh.*

All I can say is, Thank God for the good Christian guy friends I've had over the years who DO understand me. And let me talk. And actually listen to what I have to say. And don't accuse me of always being unreasonable without allowing me to voice my concerns.

The most positive experience I've had in all this is that I'm currently writing a letter and sending a card to my best guy friend, telling him about the recent threads here and thanking him several times over for listening to me for so many years and for just being who he is.

I'm thinking he (and some of the other men here who have been real troopers) deserve some kind of medal.
 
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Hellooo

Guest
Mitspa, I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, you usually aren't so unreasonable on the other forums.
 
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Mitspa

Guest
Mitspa, I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, you usually aren't so unreasonable on the other forums.
Im not being unreasonable ..you guys are...your being bullies :(
 
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Mitspa

Guest
You guys know Im getting PMs from other ladies on the forum, telling me that Im right? I guess they are afraid you guys will beat them up?
 
Nov 25, 2014
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Here's a thought:

Why doesn't CC have a "Men's Forum?" Wouldn't it be useful to petition for that. Then there would be a place for men to discuss whatever they want without being bullied by the meanybobaleany women.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,558
4,795
113
You guys know Im getting PMs from other ladies on the forum, telling me that Im right? I guess they are afraid you guys will beat them up?

If you've found a group of like-minded women who share your opinions, that's great.

Why not start a chat group with them or have discussions via PM (vs. a public thread) about what their thoughts are if they're afraid to post here?
 
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Mitspa

Guest
If you've found a group of like-minded women who share your opinions, that's great.

Why not start a chat group with them or have discussions via PM (vs. a public thread) about what their thoughts are if they're afraid to post here?
So are you saying that people ..men a women who see this issue in a different way...should not be allowed to express their thoughts in public? See you guys are mean when it comes to this issue and cant allow anyone to have a different view or opinion.
 
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skylove7

Guest
You guys know Im getting PMs from other ladies on the forum, telling me that Im right? I guess they are afraid you guys will beat them up?
I'm not

I was watchin NukePoochs 'War Games' clip post on 80s thread.

Honestly after what my feelings went thru in that 'White Knight syndrome' thread the other day

I cant participate
 
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Mitspa

Guest
I'm not

I was watchin NukePoochs 'War Games' clip post on 80s thread.

Honestly after what my feelings went thru in that 'White Knight syndrome' thread the other day

I cant participate
I didn't read it...but I don't think im trying to present anything that's ungodly in any way..maybe a little male-minded..which I admit I am
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,558
4,795
113
So are you saying that people ..men a women who see this issue in a different way...should not be allowed to express their thoughts in public? See you guys are mean when it comes to this issue and cant allow anyone to have a different view or opinion.
Nope.

I'm saying, posting publicly is generally a way of finding a group of like-minded people, and since it looks like you've already found a group to talk to who are going to support your view and might be be able to give you the positive affirmations you are seeking if you want to continue the discussion.

If they're not willing to talk here, they may be leaving you PM as the only way of conversing with them, and that's perfectly fine. I'm not choosing or ruling over the medium they choose to talk to you through, but rather, they can obviously choose which way they want to talk to you.

I've posted a lot of threads myself over the years (well over 400), so I have a bit of experience when it comes to starting discussions. I know that when you start discussions here, sometimes you take a lot of heat. Some people love my funny threads and hate my serious threads. Others hate my funny threads and only want me to post about serious things. I don't take to heart every comment I get. Several of my threads haven't been so popular either, and some people are never shy in voicing their opinion, which is fine. You're not some lone martyr.

Not everyone will agree all the time, of course. But sometimes when I found a core group of people who had been through similar things or had similar views, we chose to talk privately instead of on the forums and it's worked out well.

It's just a suggestion from my own experience, not an absolute. If nothing else, it just seems like good old common sense.
 
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