What does a Christian look like?

[Grace-Like-Rain]

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In talking about cultural Christians vs faith filled believing Christians, it was brought up that often people have a preconceived idea of what a Christian looks like, and therefore many solid, mature, believing Christians are considered to be unbelievers, or baby Christians, or backsliding Christians, etc... because they do not conform to the stereotype that many Christians themselves adhere to.

1. What are some characteristics (both outward and inward) that people sometimes associate wrongly with unbelievers? (ie. that person isn't saved... they drink beer on Sunday afternoon)

2. What are some ways that we can train ourselves to look past those things and zero in on actual fruits in someone's life to determine their spiritual maturity and faith?

3. What fruits should we look for? How do we determine what is "good fruit" or "bad fruit"?

4. Have you ever let someone's ill-perceived "bad fruit" affect your view of their spiritual maturity?

5. Do you have any Biblical examples of people who were wrongly judged as unbelievers due to habits or traditions that the religious culture rejected?


Examples of people you know who don't fit the Christian "stereotype" but have amazing relationships with the Lord are welcome.

Disclaimer: This isn't about judging other peoples state of salvation, but rather using discernment when dealing with others in the church and in the world.

Matthew 7


[SUP]15 [/SUP]“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. [SUP]16 [/SUP]You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? [SUP]17 [/SUP]Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. [SUP]18 [/SUP]A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. [SUP]19 [/SUP]Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. [SUP]20 [/SUP]Therefore by their fruits you will know them.


[SUP]21 [/SUP]“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. [SUP]22 [/SUP]Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ [SUP]23 [/SUP]And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’



6. Matthew 7:18 says, "A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit." Obviously, Christians still sin, and unbelievers are still capable of doing good. How then can we determine their underlying fruit? How can we look deeper than surface level to see the spirit beneath? How can we train ourselves to disregard controversial stigmas that don't matter to God but seem to matter to those looking at Christians?

 

[vic1980]

Jesus Christ very own words has given us much info on who follows Him in truth and spirit.

As for Discernment John said this as a reminder

1 John 2:6 He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.

God bless

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

The simplest answer is that a genuine Christian is one who's satisfied the conditions for salvation. I say this with a smile, of course, for the complex answer is much much longer .

 

[gypsygirl]

may i ask what is perhaps a silly question? you're asking about the need for discernment in assessing one's authentic spiritual condition, such as zeroing in on one's fruit, but i'm wondering about intention, for the purpose of answering this question.

can we please establish what exactly is our motivation to speculate on one's spiritual condition? because for me, the process, value and/or necessity behind it changes--quite significantly change.

is this about not falling prey to false assumptions about other christians? to find a mate? or what exactly is the intention behind this?

because in most cases, i'm not really searching for evidence of true faith and fruit (or even feeling a need to classify and qualitatively asses one's spiritual condition) as much as paying attention to what unfurls as you get to know someone--observing rather than inspecting.

is this making sense? maybe it's just the way i'm looking at this.

however, over time spent with people it's impossible to avoid making characterizations based upon what they share. clearly, the need for my accurate perceptions can exist, but they're kind of limited in scope for me, and the circumstances for that are fairly specific. : )

 

[Arlene89]

What does a Christian look like? We're green... with googly eyes and purple polka dots. Some drool more than others, I fit in to this category.

 

[Tintin]

Some Christians have beards, some do not. Most of these are women and children. But even some men are sans beard. I've been told beards are more biblical, but I suspect many men just have a phobia of chins, namely their own.

I don't know that a Christian looks like anything, other than the obvious - Christ. We come in all shapes and sizes, from different backgrounds, speaking different languages etc. Some of us are new to the faith, some have been Christians for awhile and others for much of their lives. Some have learned grace over law, some are learning are still learning and some try to hang onto works. Some Christians are great at cultivating their relationship with Christ and sharing His love, others are great at sharing His love and need to work more on their relationship. Some have found a good balance between the two. Some Christians display the fruit of the Spirit quite overtly and others are more subtle. Some are very head knowledge-orientated and some are all about the heart. Again, some have a nice balance of the two. Some are seriously old-fashioned, some are hip and cool and some just are. Some find all media to be sinful, some have no issues with much of it.

But in all of this, we share something in common. We love our Father God, Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit. We love Christ and His sacrifice. We love His Word. We love the new life we have in Him. We love the work of Holy Spirit in our lives and we desire and hunger for more of Him. And that's the main thing.

 

[JesusLives]

Jesus...........

 

[psychomom]

Jesus tells us (Jn 13:35) all men will know we are His disciples by our love for one another.

and yes, JL, we will look like Jesus.
in varying degrees, sometimes more, sometimes less...
that's why we grow in grace and knowing Jesus...so it will be more, more often.

(and if anyone can make sense of that, bonus points!)

 

[ChandlerFan]

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1. What are some characteristics (both outward and inward) that people sometimes associate wrongly with unbelievers?

I think there are a lot of things that could be listed here. Swearing, drinking, same-sex attraction, tattoos, Democrat, etc.

2. What are some ways that we can train ourselves to look past those things and zero in on actual fruits in someone's life to determine their spiritual maturity and faith?

I think you have to be firmly rooted in the gospel and understand the nature of sanctification. You have to understand that a person is not saved by their works and that they still are going to sin even after they are saved, but that also does not mean that they are permitted to sin. And as far as identifying the actual fruits in a person's life, that really comes from Scripture (see next question haha).

3. What fruits should we look for? How do we determine what is "good fruit" or "bad fruit"?

The fruits of the spirit is a good place to start. In a general sense, I think other identifying factors of the life of a believer would be:
-Is the person working to kill sin in their life?
-Is the person moving toward Christ over time?
-Is the person helping to draw others toward God?

With that said, especially when you're talking about baby Christians, there are still may be actions, habits, etc. that exist in their life that are sinful, so really the evidence of their faith is not whether or not they are doing these things, but whether or not they identify those things as sin and seek God to change their heart over time.

4. Have you ever let someone's ill-perceived "bad fruit" affect your view of their spiritual maturity?

To be honest, I have called into question the spiritual maturity of others in the past, sometimes rightly and sometimes too quickly. I tend to think I'm farther along spiritually than I really am, so I need to be really careful about that, but there is poor fruit that I have seen exist in a person's life that caused me to question where there heart is at in doing what they do.

5. Do you have any Biblical examples of people who were wrongly judged as unbelievers due to habits or traditions that the religious culture rejected?

Jesus


Again, it is good to reiterate that we are not in a place to judge whether or not someone is saved, but that doesn't mean that we should not lovingly raise concerns especially with brothers and sisters that we are in fellowship with when we see evidence of sin in their life that they are unrepentant of. Our motivation in all of it should be love, though.

And even moreso than identifying these characteristics in other people, I think it's even better and more effective to use this type of discussion as a way to check ourselves. A cool analogy I heard in a Matt Chandler sermon once was that he and his wife did everything they could with their children to make them terrified of the street because it's dangerous. It's really easy to get killed that way. So their theory was that they would rather her be in therapy later than dead now haha. Anyways, I think there's a healthy way to question and check our salvation by considering "Am I inching closer to the street or farther away toward my Father?" "Am I running out in the street even?" Because the reality is that the more you play around with sin (aka run out into the street), the more susceptible you are to being killed. It is always better to flee from sin and run toward the Father, and ultimately I believe that is evidence of genuine saving faith in a person's life.

(Disclaimer: There are a lot of little nuances and caveats to this whole discussion. The relationship between salvation and sanctification is tricky. In no way am I saying that a person is saved by their works, nor is a person bound for hell just because there is still sin in their life. What I'm saying is at the heart level, is a person moving toward Christ and repenting of sin?)

 

[Nautilus]

I think there are a lot of things that could be listed here. Swearing, drinking, same-sex attraction, tattoos, Democrat, etc.

Well I hit four out of the five...
But I don't think there is a specific 'look' for christians. I know my church runs the gamut from stereotypical older well-to-do white empty-nesters to tattooed hipsters, to drinking democrats with tattoos who may still sometimes swear on occasion(mostly down to sporting events or injury though). Everyone though realizes we are all part of the same family though and we love each other through our shared relationship with Jesus and the different perspectives we provide.

 

[MissCris]

A couple of questions that I ask myself to try to discern whether someone is Christian or not (and it's not like I'm looking at everybody around me and constantly going through some spiritual check list about them, it's more like when I start to get to know someone, I'll begin to pay closer attention to certain things)-

-What's the root of what they're saying? (For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks)
Are a person's words uplifting, encouraging, loving, respectful, helpful, positive, wise, honest...? Not every word out of a Christian's mouth is going to be all of those things all the time, but someone who is filled with love and light will, more often than not, speak it. Are a person's words negative, gossiping, bitter, jealous, hateful, cruel, uncaring, self-centered...? People filled with venom can't hide it (at least not for long).

-What is their intention in what they say/do?
Does a person do good things for a selfish purpose? Do they do harmful things but intend to be helpful (it's amazing how often this happens, someone simply trying to help ends up making it worse)? Are they showing kindness because they're compassionate or because they want to be patted on the back? A person's heart being in the right place means more than the result of what's been done, spiritually speaking.

Also, I can't count the number of times I've turned these questions around on myself, checking to see if I'm sharing Christ's love, or doing the opposite. It's a good way to help to keep myself on track in some areas I really struggle with. I also find that when I'm veering too far off course, I have a much harder time separating the wheat from the chaff (as far as those around me go).

So I guess, if you prefer to really simplify it all, yes, a Christian will look like Jesus (though not all of us have beards...don't be fooled).

 

[Kaycie]

Christians are known by their love and good deeds, not by what they wear, but they also don't sin in what they wear. We do have to discern in order to obey "bad company corrupts good morals" and "do not be unequally yoked." Jesus says you will know by their fruit (spiritual fruit). You can find examples of good and bad fruit in Galatians 5:19-23...

"The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

BUT every Christian sins once in a while, and every worldly person does something good once in a while, so you have to consider what their fruit is MOSTLY. But one thing I've observed personally is genuine Christians are not driven by, or motivated by money. They care about people more than money and things.

 

[JFSurvivor]

So then...what does Jesus look like?

I think love at it's core is sacrificial. For example, if you and a friend are eating cookies and it comes down to the last one, even if you have only eaten like two and your friend has eaten like ten you still give the last cookie to your friend because you want them to enjoy that last cookie more than you want it for yourself.

I know that is a very basic almost childish example but it's all I could come up with. 1 John 3:16 is a good verse to look at too. It says, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." I like that verse a lot.

Another good verse is 1 John 3:18, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and truth."

 

[secularhermit]

Hmmm!

How "Christian" looked Jesus?

He was a Jew! (somewhat Jewish)

Last week I met a nice joung lady wearing her skirt up to her knees and I said: "Do you really think it is the best way to be dressed up"

She said she was okey (surely she was). And I added: "So you church says: "If you don´t look like us, you won´t be saved."

Immediately I pointed another girl who sat near us: "Won´t she be saved for wearing pants or another thing?"

Then I said: "In Jesus times NO WOMAN worn skirts like you! If a woman wore a piece of dress like you, they will think she was a "street woman", because I can see part of your legs and, in Jesus days, no woman showed her knees or those feet.

I don´t look like those holy men Christ knew by names. I´m not a Jewsih "Christian" like He was.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

is this about not falling prey to false assumptions about other christians?

This.


The way we approach someone (always in love, of course) is often determined by their spiritual condition. Jesus was a great example in reaching out to people where they were in life, and I think that is the wise and most loving thing we can do. But to reach into someone's life, we often need to "observe" where they are spiritually. You would not respond to an unbeliever in the same way you would a new Christian, and you wouldn't respond to a new Christian in the same way you would a mature Christian.

 

[ChandlerFan]

Well I hit four out of the five...
But I don't think there is a specific 'look' for christians. I know my church runs the gamut from stereotypical older well-to-do white empty-nesters to tattooed hipsters, to drinking democrats with tattoos who may still sometimes swear on occasion(mostly down to sporting events or injury though). Everyone though realizes we are all part of the same family though and we love each other through our shared relationship with Jesus and the different perspectives we provide.

Yes And that was simply a list I gave in response to a question about the bases upon which people often label someone a non-Christian. So to take that to its intended conclusion, I don't believe that any of those make someone an unbeliever. I would say out of that list the one I have the biggest problem with personally is swearing, but that would be a different topic for a different thread, and I have brothers and sisters in Christ that I have heard swear all the same and it didn't influence my outlook on their salvation. But without a doubt, there is nothing inherently and explicitly sinful in drinking, same-sex attraction, getting a tattoo, or being a Democrat.

So then...what does Jesus look like?

I think love at it's core is sacrificial. For example, if you and a friend are eating cookies and it comes down to the last one, even if you have only eaten like two and your friend has eaten like ten you still give the last cookie to your friend because you want them to enjoy that last cookie more than you want it for yourself.

I know that is a very basic almost childish example but it's all I could come up with. 1 John 3:16 is a good verse to look at too. It says, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." I like that verse a lot.

Another good verse is 1 John 3:18, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and truth."

Well we know that Jesus is the God of the Bible, so all of the attributes of God that you see on display throughout Scripture are emulated by Jesus in some way during his life on earth. Love, mercy, grace, justice, servanthood, humility--they are all there.

The love one is the most fun to highlight because that is essentially what God's commands to us are based on--loving God and loving others. Jesus perfectly modeled love, as you said, in everything that he did. The only thing I would throw in there is that the concept of love has been hijacked a bit to mean making the road wide and clear for a person to be whoever and whatever they want by whatever means they want as long as it exists within the realm of generally accepted societal standards. That kind of love basically says, "I accept you as you are. Never ever change." God's love, however, says, "I accept you as you are, but I love you too much to let you stay that way."

 

[CatHerder]

this. Christians look like this.

 

[kenthomas27]

I think I'm kind of going along with Gypsygirl in that I would have to ask - "what difference does our discerning make" when we're generally not privy to a person's true heart? For instance, as a Catholic, I am viewed by some people that I know are Christian as someone who is not a Christian. I am something else. Regardless of ideology, in my heart I believe I'm saved. I mean, I didn't get a secret decoder ring, but I believe in my heart I am saved. That being said, I might be viewed by some as being a part of a group who aren't really Christians. Actually - I don't see this as being nearly so prevalent with Catholics. They usually think Protestants are saved, but that's another subject.

I think what I'm asking is - what gives us the "right" to discern? What gives us the right to judge a man by his colors? How is it that some may feel "called by God" to a do thing that might very well be an inconvenience or even an affront to another? Are our judgement's always correct because we think we're led by God?

One time I was standing in line for a concert. I was like - 20 or whatever. The air was thick with the smell of marijuana. I had clothes on that were probably fairly grungy but I was chosen by a group of 3 or 4 people who were working their way down the line and witnessing to people. The older man had a pretty heavy looking gold cross dangling around his neck (almost Catholic worthy) and a worn looking bible and he asked me if I knew Jesus. I told him I did but he didn't believe me and told me so. He questioned whether a Christian would stand in line to be consumed in the fires of Satan. He said he could smell the sulfur in the air! I told him if he kept on smelling it, he might end up wanting to go to the concert.

Kidding aside, my point is that he made a judgement that was incorrect. A result of this is that I have never been keen about "spreading the gospel" by word unless specifically asked or if the conversation flowed to such. Even now that I say this, some would think that my reluctance to spread the word proves I'm not saved and then to translate that to Catholicism so therefore Catholics aren't saved. So therefore, Mormon's aren't saved. So therefore, gay's aren't saved. The list could go on.

I think there's a danger in discernment but I don't know exactly how I'm supposed to NOT discern. Ultimately though, I do think that our actions are our greatest witness. Always. They can also be our greatest denouncement.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Kidding aside, my point is that he made a judgement that was incorrect.

I think you just hit on the intended point of this thread.

 

[CatHerder]

I don't see this thread as being about judging others. I see it as challenging our preconceived notions as to what a believer may look like...and act like.

We might have this idea that Christians don't smoke. Many do. Many want to quit. We might say "yes. they may be Christian, but a weak one, since they are in bondage (ignoring our own eye planks).

We may have the idea that Christians are teetotalers, but the truth is that many drink. Some drink at home only so they will not offend others out in the community. Some will order a drink when going out because they see that they have freedom in Christ to do so. Others who may otherwise enjoy wine with dinner may adjust their habits given the company. It varies.

We may have this idea that being wealthy means that we are materialistic and we are trying to serve two masters. The truth is that the Sinner's Prayer does not include a vow of poverty. One of the couples at my old church would regularly go out of town and entrust the keys to their mansion....yes, their mansion, to the church so they could hold a special function at their place that could not be held at the church building, due to double-booking, etc.

Some actually struggle with those sins that many Christians treat as "the unpardonable sin." It's not. A friend of mine used to be in a gay lifestyle way back when. He never hid this from anyone. He has since married and has kids about the same age as mine. Every Christmas season, his entire family would get the neighborhood kids together to present the Christmas story to the entire neighborhood - costumes, sets, the whole bit, presented on the various lawns of the cooperating neighbors, using garden lights to illuminate the characters. This was the only time of the year some of his neighbors were presented with the gospel. He once admitted to me that though his wife is beautiful, he sometimes still struggles with same-sex attraction.

What I'm getting at is that Christians aren't all going to look the same. We are not all going to like contemporary Christian music, or hold to the Protestant work ethic, have jobs that allow us to go to church every Sunday, and do all those Christian cultural things that give us the appearance of a godly walk. We get sick, experience divorce, job loss, struggle with addiction, lust, wavering faith, etc.

We can't let our legalism define what a Christian looks like. The Bible says that we will know them by their fruit. We have to be open to their fuit looking like a pineapple, even if we were expecting it to look like an apricot.