What Would Boost Your Self Esteem?

[Lynx]

I always think of my former mentors when this subject comes up. They were extremely hard-working, very successful, and always working at the church/serving in their spare time, as well as providing shelter in their gorgeous home for many people who were going through hard times or escaping abusive situations.

And that's one of the best ways to help one's own self esteem. Helping others puts your own life in perspective and makes you appreciate what you have when you are helping those who have less. And helping others makes you feel good too.

When God told us over and over again in the Bible to help others, it wasn't just for the benefit of those we are helping. Just saying.

 

[seoulsearch]

One of the things I really like about the polls here is that they give us an idea of what others are struggling with and also show us that we are not alone in our concerns.

I think this poll is also telling us a lot about the impact we can have on the self-esteem of others, too.

I was really touched to see how many people have answered that encouragement from a mentor or teacher would really help them, seeing as many of us probably play that kind of role to someone around us everyday. Maybe we're just showing them around, teaching them company policy, or acting as a chaperone, but giving someone a genuine compliment or positive comment might really make a difference to someone else (including ourselves, as we help other people in this way.)

 

[jennymae]

One of the things I really like about the polls here is that they give us an idea of what others are struggling with and also show us that we are not alone in our concerns.

I think this poll is also telling us a lot about the impact we can have on the self-esteem of others, too.

I was really touched to see how many people have answered that encouragement from a mentor or teacher would really help them, seeing as many of us probably play that kind of roll to someone around us everyday. Maybe we're just showing them around, teaching them company policy, or acting as a chaperone, but giving someone a genuine compliment or positive comment might really make a difference to someone else (including ourselves, as we help other people in this way.)

Yes, I believe that too. Some sort of mentor is, at least thats what I believe, allmost mandatory. It can be somebody within your family, a friend, somebody else. Even CC members can be playing a role when it comes to building each other up

 

[Utah]

Molly based on your posts and your picture you are anything but plain...

PS..God doesn't create plain ...

Most definitely true. Molly, you're anything but plain. I wanted to respond to you earlier but didn't want to be the first one saying so and come off like a dirty old man.

 

[Addison]

If I simply changed everything about myself.

 

[Kefa54]

The Worlds view.

“The greatest sickness known to man or woman is called self-esteem. If you have self-esteem, then you’re sick, sick, sick, because you say: I’m okay because I do well and because people love me, so when I do poorly, which I’m a fallible human and will, and people hate me because they may jealously hate me or they just don’t like me, then back to termoil I go.”

Albert Ellis, Ph.D.

Must #1
“I absolutely must perform well on important projects and be approved by significant people or else I am an inadequate and unlovable person!” (Leads to) Feelings of serious depression, anxiety, panic, self-downing. ..… Personally, you can’t always succeed not to mention succeed perfectly. Being a fallible human, you just can’t.” Albert Ellis

Yes, rating one’s behavior as opposed to one’s self is much easier said than done. Yes, our society (The World) strongly encourages the opposite. In fact, our society has a vested interest in doing so. I still have a hard time with it myself and I’ve had years of practice.

This is number 2 of the basic musts.
“Other people, particularly those I have cared for and treated well, absolutely must treat me kindly and fairly, or else they are rotten individuals who deserve to suffer!” (Leads to) Feelings of strong and persistent anger, rage, fury, impatience, bitterness. … As far as your demanding that other people must incessantly please you, love you, and do your bidding forget it!”

“Unconditional self-acceptance is the basic antidote to much of your depressed self-downing feelings. Self-appraisal almost inevitably leads to one-upmanship and one-downmanship. If you rate yourself as being “good,” you will usually rate others as being “bad” or “less good.” If you rate yourself as being “bad,” others will be seen as “less bad” or “good.” Thereby you practically force yourself to compete with others in “goodness” or “badness” and constantly feel envious, jealous, or superior. Persistent individual, group, and international conflicts easily stem from this kind of thinking and feeling.” Albert Ellis

(Sorry if you read all that)


Self Esteem is all garbage. It is the world's view of rating people. The big word that tips us of..."SELF"

I study and believe 'Who am I in Christ". That is all that matters in this world. Resting the the Grace of Christ fills me and directs me.

Kefa

 

[Kefa54]

[h=3]Who you are in Christ[/h] Because you are in Christ, EVERY ONE of these statements is true of you.

• I am loved. 1 John 3:3
• I am accepted. Ephesians 1:6
• I am a child of God. John 1:12
• I am Jesus' friend. John 15:14
• I am a joint heir with Jesus, sharing His inheritance with Him. Romans 8:17
• I am united with God and one spirit with Him. 1 Corinthians 6:17
• I am a temple of God. His Spirit and his life lives in me. 1 Corinthians 6:19
• I am a member of Christ's body. 1 Corinthians 12:27
• I am a Saint. Ephesians 1:1
• I am redeemed and forgiven. Colossians 1:14
• I am complete in Jesus Christ. Colossians 2:10
• I am free from condemnation. Romans 8:1
• I am a new creation because I am in Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17
• I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved. Colossians 3:12
• I am established, anointed, and sealed by God. 2 Corinthians 1:21
• I do not have a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
• I am God's co-worker. 2 Corinthians 6:1
• I am seated in heavenly places with Christ. Eph 2:6
• I have direct access to God Ephesians. 2:18
• I am chosen to bear fruit John. 15:16
• I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house. 1 Peter 2:5
• I have been given exceedingly great and precious promises by God by which I share His nature. 2 Peter 1:4
• I can always know the presence of God because He never leaves me Hebrews. 13:5
• God works in me to help me do the things He wants me to do Philippians 2:13
• I can ask God for wisdom and He will give me what I need. James 1:5

Simply choose to believe what God says about you.

 

[chickwithsticks]

For some reason I'm reminded of all the popular singers, movie stars, sports celebrities, etc. who become famous and rich... and they are found two years later in their houses, dead of alcohol or drug overdose, or they have blown all their millions and are living in their parents' basement.

As King Louis said in the Jungle Book, "I reached the top and had to stop... and that's what's bothering me." Or as Warren Buffet said, when someone asked him how much was enough, "Just a little more." I know a lot of people who want more (money, power, different job, spouse, whatever) and they think their lives will be complete if they can just manage to get whatever it is they are after. And I've watched them get what they wanted, and it didn't help them feel better about themselves.

I remember a guy my uncle Fred used to work with. This guy was always comparing what he got with what everyone else got. If someone got a raise he would complain that he didn't get one. Sometimes the other guys at work would have fun with him, talk about a bonus they got (that they really didn't get) just to tweak him. And it would work, he would get all upset every time.

I said all that to say this: The best way for anyone to improve his self esteem is to ignore what he doesn't have, what he can't do, what he is not, and thank God for what he has, can do and is.

Great post Lynxie!! Oh yes I did...I just called you Lynxie because your post made me want to give the Big Scary Cat a scratch behind his ears. Lol.

Lol....I dont know....I'm in a weird mood today.

 

[seoulsearch]

Great post Lynxie!! Oh yes I did...I just called you Lynxie because your post made me want to give the Big Scary Cat a scratch behind his ears. Lol.

Lol....I dont know....I'm in a weird mood today.

What I'd really love to see you do, Chick, is knit him a cozy cat sweater...

And, I want to see pictures. Of him wearing it.

 

[melita916]

What I'd really love to see you do, Chick, is knit him a cozy cat sweater...

And, I want to see pictures. Of him wearing it.

this would boost my self esteem. lol jk

 

[chickwithsticks]

What I'd really love to see you do, Chick, is knit him a cozy cat sweater...

And, I want to see pictures. Of him wearing it.

LOL..that's the problem with cats ..they already have built in sweaters!!

Snooty cats!!

 

[passing_through]

I am not concerned in self esteem, I am no good thing, but he gives confidence of Christ in me.

 

[seoulsearch]

I'm noticing that it's the older, wiser members of the community who are saying they no longer have problems with self-esteem because they trust in the Lord.

Did you always feel this way? When you were in your 20's, did you not care about the concept of self-esteem either? Or is that something that comes with time and experience as you walk with God?

 

[VioletReigns]

Self-esteem to me is synonymous with pride. Self-esteem requires validation from others. "My self wants you to esteem me." Jesus didn't make himself of any reputation. He knew who he was in God the Father. And we know who we are in Christ.

Unfortunately, many in the world judge by appearances. The only way not to be effected by it is to walk in the spirit of Christ. Jesus was not considered handsome and yet throngs of people sought him out and wanted to be near him. The beauty of Jesus was his perfect love and acceptance of people. His arms are always open to us. He is not only approachable, he is always giving. The Lord gives himself to us all, all the time. People are drawn to love and acceptance like that.

People come in all shapes and sizes, a garden variety of colors, different types of talents. God created us for His own pleasure and it pleases Him to shape us into the vessels He purposes. But it's not the outward that matters most to God, but the inward person we are.

All you have to do is look at the entertainment industry to see how unrealistic it is to put stock in appearances and talents. After your 15 minutes of fame are over, here comes someone better than you. There's no end to the competition. In the carnal world, you're either in the limelight or you're on your way out, a has-been. Trying to keep up appearances is a life of insanity.

Rather than self-esteem, knowing who we are in God's truth is what really matters. There are so many members on this site who shine forth such beauty and mercy and love. Our hearts are so drawn to them. We've never seen their faces but they are so beautiful to our hearts! They resemble our lovely Lord Jesus, don't they?

I met a young woman some years back who was distorted from birth. Her shoulders drooped, her face was somewhat contorted and she involuntarily drooled and sometime spit when she spoke. Her twisted mouth affected her speech so it was difficult to understand her. To the world, she was not pretty. In fact, I was uncomfortable around her and struggled to look her in the eyes when we talked. But at our women's Bible study led by our pastor's wife, that woman exhibited the most liberty and joy of all.

We became good friends, she & I. The Lord taught me so much through her set-free spirit and her love for others. My kids loved her to pieces, too! They'd get so excited every time she came to visit us because she was just a total joy to be around. She eventually met and married a sweet Christian gentleman, too. Man, were they a happy, lovable couple!

Anyhow, I just hope that this post isn't offending or disappointing anyone. I don't mean to rain on the self-esteem parade. I think it's awesome that folks wanna take care of themselves and wanna look their best. That's cool! But the best part of us on the inside makes whatever we got on the outside look truly beautiful, right?

 

[PennEd]

Self-esteem to me is synonymous with pride. Self-esteem requires validation from others. "My self wants you to esteem me." Jesus didn't make himself of any reputation. He knew who he was in God the Father. And we know who we are in Christ.

Unfortunately, many in the world judge by appearances. The only way not to be effected by it is to walk in the spirit of Christ. Jesus was not considered handsome and yet throngs of people sought him out and wanted to be near him. The beauty of Jesus was his perfect love and acceptance of people. His arms are always open to us. He is not only approachable, he is always giving. The Lord gives himself to us all, all the time. People are drawn to love and acceptance like that.

People come in all shapes and sizes, a garden variety of colors, different types of talents. God created us for His own pleasure and it pleases Him to shape us into the vessels He purposes. But it's not the outward that matters most to God, but the inward person we are.

All you have to do is look at the entertainment industry to see how unrealistic it is to put stock in appearances and talents. After your 15 minutes of fame are over, here comes someone better than you. There's no end to the competition. In the carnal world, you're either in the limelight or you're on your way out, a has-been. Trying to keep up appearances is a life of insanity.

Rather than self-esteem, knowing who we are in God's truth is what really matters. There are so many members on this site who shine forth such beauty and mercy and love. Our hearts are so drawn to them. We've never seen their faces but they are so beautiful to our hearts! They resemble our lovely Lord Jesus, don't they?

I met a young woman some years back who was distorted from birth. Her shoulders drooped, her face was somewhat contorted and she involuntarily drooled and sometime spit when she spoke. Her twisted mouth affected her speech so it was difficult to understand her. To the world, she was not pretty. In fact, I was uncomfortable around her and struggled to look her in the eyes when we talked. But at our women's Bible study led by our pastor's wife, that woman exhibited the most liberty and joy of all.

We became good friends, she & I. The Lord taught me so much through her set-free spirit and her love for others. My kids loved her to pieces, too! They'd get so excited every time she came to visit us because she was just a total joy to be around. She eventually met and married a sweet Christian gentleman, too. Man, were they a happy, lovable couple!

Anyhow, I just hope that this post isn't offending or disappointing anyone. I don't mean to rain on the self-esteem parade. I think it's awesome that folks wanna take care of themselves and wanna look their best. That's cool! But the best part of us on the inside makes whatever we got on the outside look truly beautiful, right?

View attachment 136571

I was just gonna say. Most of us, myself included don't have any problem with our esteem. It's loving OTHER people's esteem we need to work on.

 

[passing_through]

I'm noticing that it's the older, wiser members of the community who are saying they no longer have problems with self-esteem because they trust in the Lord.

Did you always feel this way? When you were in your 20's, did you not care about the concept of self-esteem either? Or is that something that comes with time and experience as you walk with God?

Oh no! Now that I am old I don't care what someone thinks of me, I used to be real insecure. That is why I had my ears 'pinned back' closer against my head.

Nowadays, who are they to say I'm weird or funny looking, but I do have more confidence in the Lord now.

 

[blondieindahouse]

Self-esteem to me is synonymous with pride. Self-esteem requires validation from others. "My self wants you to esteem me." Jesus didn't make himself of any reputation. He knew who he was in God the Father. And we know who we are in Christ.

Unfortunately, many in the world judge by appearances. The only way not to be effected by it is to walk in the spirit of Christ. Jesus was not considered handsome and yet throngs of people sought him out and wanted to be near him. The beauty of Jesus was his perfect love and acceptance of people. His arms are always open to us. He is not only approachable, he is always giving. The Lord gives himself to us all, all the time. People are drawn to love and acceptance like that.

People come in all shapes and sizes, a garden variety of colors, different types of talents. God created us for His own pleasure and it pleases Him to shape us into the vessels He purposes. But it's not the outward that matters most to God, but the inward person we are.

All you have to do is look at the entertainment industry to see how unrealistic it is to put stock in appearances and talents. After your 15 minutes of fame are over, here comes someone better than you. There's no end to the competition. In the carnal world, you're either in the limelight or you're on your way out, a has-been. Trying to keep up appearances is a life of insanity.

Rather than self-esteem, knowing who we are in God's truth is what really matters. There are so many members on this site who shine forth such beauty and mercy and love. Our hearts are so drawn to them. We've never seen their faces but they are so beautiful to our hearts! They resemble our lovely Lord Jesus, don't they?

I met a young woman some years back who was distorted from birth. Her shoulders drooped, her face was somewhat contorted and she involuntarily drooled and sometime spit when she spoke. Her twisted mouth affected her speech so it was difficult to understand her. To the world, she was not pretty. In fact, I was uncomfortable around her and struggled to look her in the eyes when we talked. But at our women's Bible study led by our pastor's wife, that woman exhibited the most liberty and joy of all.

We became good friends, she & I. The Lord taught me so much through her set-free spirit and her love for others. My kids loved her to pieces, too! They'd get so excited every time she came to visit us because she was just a total joy to be around. She eventually met and married a sweet Christian gentleman, too. Man, were they a happy, lovable couple!

Anyhow, I just hope that this post isn't offending or disappointing anyone. I don't mean to rain on the self-esteem parade. I think it's awesome that folks wanna take care of themselves and wanna look their best. That's cool! But the best part of us on the inside makes whatever we got on the outside look truly beautiful, right?

View attachment 136571

Beautifully expressed.
I taught my daughter from a young age that "pretty is as pretty does. "
Beauty is only skin deep and it is fleeting! LOL .

Proverbs 31:30
29"Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all." 30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 31Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

 

[VioletReigns]

As Romans 12:2 reminds us:

 

[JeniBean]

What would boost my self esteem?????? Chris Hemsworth whisking me away to Australia!!!!

 

[Lynx]

I'm noticing that it's the older, wiser members of the community who are saying they no longer have problems with self-esteem because they trust in the Lord.

Did you always feel this way? When you were in your 20's, did you not care about the concept of self-esteem either? Or is that something that comes with time and experience as you walk with God?

I am certainly older, but I don't know if I would fit the wiser category... But to answer the question, I have always been about the same in this regard. I never did give a flying flitter what most people thought of me and I was usually fairly content with what and who I was.

However I have noticed that the older people get, generally the better their perspectives are about their own self worth and the less insecure they are.