Where Did the Saying "God is Preparing Just the Right Person for You!" Come From Anyway?

[Solemateleft]

So in the spirit of HIS messaging on the topic of love, relationships and marriage..
Here are some of the most treasured Bible verses about love, marriage and relationships that are often incorporated and manifested into one's interpretation for how our faith in HIM transcends our hope for HIS blessings...
38 Bible Verses about Love, Relationships and Marriage...

My Logic flow riddle (IMHO - my faith in HIM gives me hope in HIS master plans):
- If God is an advocate for love...
- and God is an advocate for marriage...
- than it follows that HE is an advocate for those who have faith in HIS designs for love AND marriage...

 

[zeroturbulence]

Hello there!

A recent conversation with some fellow Christian singles had me thinking - where does the popular saying, "God is out there preparing the right person for you!" come from, anyway? To my knowledge (and please feel free to correct me), there is absolutely no Biblical basis for telling someone this, and yet, I almost always hear it come up when others are trying to give singles "hope." How did people come up with this conclusion and decide it's what singles should be told? God bless anyone for trying to minister to a single, but I know I've never found this "advice" to be of any comfort, because God just as well might NOT be preparing someone for me either. After all, God's plans are not our plans.

As a parallel to this dilemma, I've been reading that due to various factors, infertility rates are on the rise and many couples are struggling when trying to start or expand their families.

Can you imagine telling someone who is struggling to have a baby, "Don't worry, God is up there drawing up the blueprints for the perfect little boy or girl, just for you! After all, He knows each of us before we are even formed in the womb!" (Jeremiah 1:5.) At least, I sure am hoping there is no one out there telling anyone this, and to anyone who's been told this, I sincerely apologize.

If Chrisitians (hopefully) don't say these kinds of things to someone trying to have a baby, why do they so readily say such things to those trying to find a husband or wife?

I attended a church group this past week in which the pastor's wife said they had never had a ministry for singles because they figured singles could join in on everything (except the small groups specifically designed for married couples), but when she had read an article stating that "if the church ignores singles, they are missing half the harvest," God convicted her. Indeed. A good percentage of my co-workers have always been single parents. What would the church do if they suddenly had in increase of members, and 50% of them were single?

Personally, I think God is raising people up, especially singles like us, to be able to help show other singles who are brought into the church how it's done. (And in a way this scares me, because I often still don't have a clue.)

But how can we even help them if all we've been given are overused cliches that don't even have a Biblical truth to back them?

Here are some questions I'm hoping people will voice their thoughts on:

* Why do people try to tell singles that God is preparing someone just for them, when that might not actually be true? (God bless them for trying, but it just doesn't quite hit the mark.)

* What should we be telling singles (including ourselves) instead? (Or, if you do believe in telling people that God is preparing someone for them, feel free to state why -- this isn't an all-or-nothing discussion -- all perspectives are welcome.) Just because this particular saying has never helped me doesn't mean it hasn't helped someone else, so I'd be very interested in hearing about that.

* Have you been told that God is preparing someone for you? Did you wind up meeting that person, and how did it go? Are you still waiting? How do you feel about being told this after having to wait a considerably long time? Do you still believe it will happen?

Thanks very much for taking the time to read, ponder, and reply.

It really all goes back to the missing rip.

 

[love_comes_softly]

As far as the saying goes, it’s not biblical, but I’d say it’s the advice giver’s fleshy desire that they put onto those that they are talking with.

I know people who have no desire to marry have been given this “encouragement”. People have a hard time believing that marriage isn’t the end all be all.

I do think it’s said with good intentions and hope, but I often wonder if it’s also said out of discomfort and the person not knowing what else to say.

I have heard this many times. I don’t hold it against the people, nor do I believe it’s false, I just take it as the person’s well wishes.

I do believe that as Christians, we have a responsibility to remember what we say matters. It’s important not to place expectations on others with our words. This can lead to many hurts, disappointments and feelings of failure.

We are to share the truth and love of the Lord and when we share our hopes and desires, it should be clear that that’s what they are.

 

[Lanolin]

They ought to say if you are single...Hallelujah! Welcome to the club! That would be great if everyone says that. Sorry, married people arent allowed.

Why should we let couples exclude us. When it could be the other way round...after all couples CHOSE to be exclusive, not us singles, we're inclusive.

 

[Lanolin]

I am so glad Jesus didnt marry on earth. Then its likely he would just be concerned about his own offspring and wife and not particularly care about anyone else, who wouldnt be his priority.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

I preface all this by saying that not all people were like this, not all church folk are like this, and certainly God has had times where He had ladies/gentleman be single. He has a plan just like everyone else. And I also believe in marriage, and especially in a man’s place as the head of the household.

To be frank, I think a bit part of it comes from our tradition of marriage in our culture. Think back in the 40’s and 50’s: was it ok for a woman to remain single, or to think it was acceptable to remain single? Impossible!! Would you want to be an old maid?!? No future, no security, no children?!? Especially if one was like say Catholic, it was as a woman’s DUTY to have children. And what of the man? They are in charge of continuing the lineage of their name. They MUST find a suitable bride in order to fulfill the role of manhood. He who finds a wife finds a good thing, right?

Snarky generalizations aside, I think it has been a way for singles to not despair. It was so people would keep looking, and not settle into living alone. There are times, many many times, where God calls people to His work in all kinds of walks of life. You may find your spouse on that calling, you may never find one. NOT because God has given up on you finding one, but because He has other plans for you. Heck maybe you’ll be 90 and God will have you find your love after all your work has been done.

 

[Princesse]

I’m uncertain where these platitudes come from. Proposing that God requires us to be at a certain place spiritually overlooks the frequency of marriages at earlier ages (in the past) between less mature persons.

And how do you justify telling someone the Lord is preparing their companion who may go on to cause them hardship or irreparable harm? Did God really sanction abusers and the like? When results don’t fall in line with their rhetoric they find another slogan instead.

Many people presenting these ideals were in tight knit communities or attended Christian colleges which amplified their ability to encounter likeminded suitors. I ignore them and disregard their spiel.

Faith in God didn’t obliterate my common sense, reasoning or deduction skills. I should be operating in greater wisdom and discernment. Not indulging superstitions or ideas which do not bear out with closer scrutiny.

Much like I don’t wallow in the media cesspool, I’m equally attentive about religiousness and propaganda. The whole premise of testing the spirit is discerning its source and soundness. And I know when I’m hearing gobbledygook and lessen its intrusion by keeping company with sober-minded mature believers.

It is one thing to have a precept that has borne fruit in our lives. And another to apply the concept liberally to everyone else whose circumstances and options may greatly differ from our own. At best, we can share how God moves in our lives. But leading others to expect the same results is irresponsible. The loving response is sharing how we handled a similar season. That is more edifying than the alternative.