Which is more important looks or personality?

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Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
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#1
Hi just through to put this question out there.When it comes to meeting someone special which is more important to you their personality or their looks,?
I know that a person's looks and personality can both be very appealing yet which one seems to tip the balance more..looks or personality?Or are they equally important?Sometimes people can say well personality is more important than looks..but God made us also to also find a person physically attractive too.I guess what will ultimately make a person happy iam sure would be what's within a person...yet there has to be some degree of physical attraction of some kind.
Sometimes a person with a great personality actually can become even more attractive..whereas a person whose physically attractive can also seem unattractive if they don't have a good personality.
Yet each of us are unique and different things appeal to different people.I know some ladies who view that a guys shoes is the number 1 thing that determines their level of interest in him.So any guy they meet they check out his shoes 1st..wrong shoes.....it's basically over for him..🤪🤪
So what are your views is how a person looks more important than their personality of visa versa?
Personally I have been drawn to someone by either...some times looks alone initially...other times their lovely personality...I guess something would draw me to them and what draws me can varie quite widely really.
Beauty is most definatley in the eye if the beholder which makes it so unique and individual as to what can appeal to us about someone
Look forward to hear your thoughts😊
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
10,407
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#2
how special do they need to be.
we used to have dedicated special needs units in schools but now special people are everywhere.

I just treat everyone special regardless
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,307
1,187
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#3
how special do they need to be.
we used to have dedicated special needs units in schools but now special people are everywhere.

I just treat everyone special regardless
Hi Lanolin thanks for checking this out.You asked how special fo they need to be?The context of this thread is about meeting someone special in a romantic sense.Some may be drawn to a person romantically by their looks..another can be drawn by there personality..like a funny person can most definitely be attractive to someone in a romantic sense.

Yes everyone is special in a general sense most definitely and treating others with respect,care,value is important and it's nice that you do this...👍👍😊😊😊
 

Happy2020

Active member
Oct 5, 2020
114
70
28
#4
Hi just through to put this question out there.When it comes to meeting someone special which is more important to you their personality or their looks,?
I know that a person's looks and personality can both be very appealing yet which one seems to tip the balance more..looks or personality?Or are they equally important?Sometimes people can say well personality is more important than looks..but God made us also to also find a person physically attractive too.I guess what will ultimately make a person happy iam sure would be what's within a person...yet there has to be some degree of physical attraction of some kind.
Sometimes a person with a great personality actually can become even more attractive..whereas a person whose physically attractive can also seem unattractive if they don't have a good personality.
Yet each of us are unique and different things appeal to different people.I know some ladies who view that a guys shoes is the number 1 thing that determines their level of interest in him.So any guy they meet they check out his shoes 1st..wrong shoes.....it's basically over for him..🤪🤪
So what are your views is how a person looks more important than their personality of visa versa?
Personally I have been drawn to someone by either...some times looks alone initially...other times their lovely personality...I guess something would draw me to them and what draws me can varie quite widely really.
Beauty is most definatley in the eye if the beholder which makes it so unique and individual as to what can appeal to us about someone
Look forward to hear your thoughts😊
Hi Encouragement, great question!

1. King Solomon gives us the immediate answer and this would be that “looks/beauty” is vanity. Proverb 31 “false is beauty, fear of G-d she shall be praised”.

2. So why did G-d make us tempted by attraction? G-d created our ability to be tempted to allow us the ability of “choice”. Why does food need to taste yummy? He could have simply made us eat paper and that would have been good too. Therefore taste can bring joy if we eat properly in holiness or it can bring gluttony. Same with attraction, we can use it to get married and have kids or we can abuse it for our desires in lust.

3. Only very righteous people can serve G-d without using these natures however the average person needs to want steak, a beautiful woman, more sleep, more possessions, etc. to feel happy or complete. However the highest level of serving G-d is to derive no pleasure or no reward because then it simply is for the sake for serving G-d.

4. Thus we should push heavily to see the beauty of someone’s soul/personality rather than physical beauty but it is not sinful if you use the physical to push you to do what is spiritually good for you. What is wrong is to let it pass the threshold or spiritual reason. Beauty passes away, but a righteous soul only continues to grow and gain value in the eyes of the L-rd!
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
10,407
3,739
113
#5
ha what do I know about romance...
Im not romantic at all..I dont really know anyone who is! unless its some older guy whos always trying to call me. Im like no, go away, Im not keen on spreading germs thanks. Yes Im female, but then so is half the population. What I find totally annoying is someone who claims to know what I am thinking. How do you know what I am thinking? You are not me. and half the time, its not even what I am thinking about at all.

this is from people who think 'romantically' who assume Im thinking romantic throughts about them. But what Im really thinking is...theyve got curly hair and I dont. I wonder what curly hair feels like. Cos my hair wont curl at all.

or in terms of personality. How can they be so calm about stuff that stresses me out? Or if they are funny, it would be like that is so funny. You crack everyone up. But dont you ever take anything seriously?

I think what attracts people are things that are opposite and things that dont come naturally to us.
 

stepbystep

Well-known member
Aug 31, 2020
613
487
63
#6
If you are good looking, then it is looks. If you are not, it is personality, right?

If you are a well rounded person, then it is both equally important I guess.

To me; a persons faith is most important.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,307
1,187
113
#7
Hi Encouragement, great question!

1. King Solomon gives us the immediate answer and this would be that “looks/beauty” is vanity. Proverb 31 “false is beauty, fear of G-d she shall be praised”.

2. So why did G-d make us tempted by attraction? G-d created our ability to be tempted to allow us the ability of “choice”. Why does food need to taste yummy? He could have simply made us eat paper and that would have been good too. Therefore taste can bring joy if we eat properly in holiness or it can bring gluttony. Same with attraction, we can use it to get married and have kids or we can abuse it for our desires in lust.

3. Only very righteous people can serve G-d without using these natures however the average person needs to want steak, a beautiful woman, more sleep, more possessions, etc. to feel happy or complete. However the highest level of serving G-d is to derive no pleasure or no reward because then it simply is for the sake for serving G-d.

4. Thus we should push heavily to see the beauty of someone’s soul/personality rather than physical beauty but it is not sinful if you use the physical to push you to do what is spiritually good for you. What is wrong is to let it pass the threshold or spiritual reason. Beauty passes away, but a righteous soul only continues to grow and gain value in the eyes of the L-rd!
Hi Happy2020 good to hear from you and I appreciate you making time to type out your comments.Yes proverbs does say that even charm is deceptive and that beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the lord is to be praised.It is highighting the reality that physical beauty doesnt last forever because it changes with time,life experiences,age,and also physical beauty can be altered through sickness,an accident ect..You see many actors/actress using cosmetic surgery to maintain their youthful beauty as with age some of them do loose the beauty they once had.We have heard stories of how a person with charisma and charm has been able to deceive people outta money and all sort of things..So it's just giving a clear picture of these things...in stark contrast to a woman who fears God...is of such high value and a good thing to process....its praise worthy...my goodness👏🏻👏🏻
The bible say he who finds a wife finds a good thing..so a wife is a good thing in a general sense and God designed a female in such a way that she will appeal to a man physically and Visa versa..(naturally they type if person you are determines if you are a good wife or husband as a man/woman becomes a wife/husband by the status of being marriage to another)

Unfortunately social media,advertising the movie industry ect heavily promote physical beauty and sexualized imagery...a half naked lady promoting bubble gum...???🤣🤣...common what's that about?
Yet It is God who made each and everyone of us and physical beauty,being attracted to someone are natural things we experience as human beings which isnt a sin itself.. what defines it as sin is the context in which it is expressed and the motivation.Joseph was handsome and well built and him being handsome and being physically well built was just how he was...and the bible mentioned this to illustrate that potiphers wife attraction to him was purely sexual.

The bible says that God doesn't tempt us..but it's our own inner desires that can entice us ect...and funny how God made us with the capacity to enjoy food because of how our mouths are made..taste buds ect are there to enjoy the flavours of food with saliva,teeth ect to aid the process of food consumption..
I guess anything that God created for us to experience joy from can be corrupted by sinful desires or motives.

Living for God yet enjoy natural blessing is a good thing...who doesnt think wow when seeing an awesome sunset...or drinking a glass of cold water on a hot day is just bliss..Physically there are many blessing to enjoy in life within the context of living for God which he does expect us to utilise wherever we are for where we are there are blessing there that many wish they had.
Yes a persons personality,character are the things which one builds life upon ultimately rather than how they look.Yet their physical form is also part of who they are too and each person has physical traits that someone would find attractive.
Some of us can be drawn to another person Romantically via their character or personality some of us can be drawn by their looks...but at some point I guess it's the persons personality or character that becomes the foundation stone coz that's the substance of who they are..😊
Man I hadn't planned to type so much honestly..🤣🤣
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,307
1,187
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#8
ha what do I know about romance...
Im not romantic at all..I dont really know anyone who is! unless its some older guy whos always trying to call me. Im like no, go away, Im not keen on spreading germs thanks. Yes Im female, but then so is half the population. What I find totally annoying is someone who claims to know what I am thinking. How do you know what I am thinking? You are not me. and half the time, its not even what I am thinking about at all.

this is from people who think 'romantically' who assume Im thinking romantic throughts about them. But what Im really thinking is...theyve got curly hair and I dont. I wonder what curly hair feels like. Cos my hair wont curl at all.

or in terms of personality. How can they be so calm about stuff that stresses me out? Or if they are funny, it would be like that is so funny. You crack everyone up. But dont you ever take anything seriously?

I think what attracts people are things that are opposite and things that dont come naturally to us.
Hi Lanolin reading your comments made my chuckle in some places.It amazing how we can be wrongly perceived as being attracted to someone romantically when infact we are just being friendly or as you said thinking about their their curly hair..😊😊😊
Some people can have a natural calm way about them in situations that stress you out and ther can be situations you will feel calm in when someone else is stressed.
I do have a sense of humour big time but my goodness I have a serious,deep side too(thank goodness)...I remembered years ago when we heard the terrible news that one of the guys at our work has been murdered in the middle east just a few months after starting a new job we were devastated and one staff made a stupid joke about it...we though.."dude are u serious?".he said he only said it coz he didnt know what else to say yo help lighten the mood.

Yes things that can attract us can be the opposite sometimes coz sometimes a person can somehow bring out the best in us,lighten our day..stop us being miserable ect...and u think to yourself...."ummmm...I kinda like this person..just something about them that's so attractive....ummmm..I think I'm gonna pray about this"....🙏🏻😊😊
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
5,653
4,365
113
#9
I think personality over rules looks. There is no use being with the most attractive person and they have no substance or their personality is nasty. Having said that I think you will find something attractive about the other person and the most important priority is that they are also a christian.
 

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
3,102
3,514
113
59
#10
I think personality over looks...
I used to be a women who went for really hansom men , my ex partners , yet they all ended up being narcissistic , and were very vain , a bit like myself before I was saved...

God forbid I should ever lose my sight , but if I did , looks would be out the window...

I am single now and have no problem with that , but if God ever gave me a man to marry , he would have to be a man after God`s own heart , looks can be deceiving...
...xox...
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,307
1,187
113
#11
I think personality over rules looks. There is no use being with the most attractive person and they have no substance or their personality is nasty. Having said that I think you will find something attractive about the other person and the most important priority is that they are also a christian.
Hi ruby123..nice to hear from you on this thread..(i keep wandering why they call it thread..😊😊)
Anyway..yes I agree that ultimately its what's within the person that will create a foundation to built a relationship upon.The else relationship I had was with a beautiful woman but the relationship became toxic due ur constant false accusations of cheating and offending others who tried to reassure her that I wasnt...in the end I ended it...yet it didnt diminish the appeal her physical beauty..but her beauty became like smoke...it's there but isn't the real substance if her..It was like a mask covering the toxicity that was within her.
True that we will be something about a person that we will find attractive for certain...maybe it is their looks..their smile..how they present themselves..or their sense if humour..ect....it will be something unique to you..
As a Christian its goes without saying that they should be a Christian otherwise you eil just be unequally yoked coz I know that there are many lovely people around in a humanistic sense who are not Christians..my goodness...yet at some point the spiritual ans moral divide will become all too apparent.A sheep yoked with a goat..their fathers satan..your fathers God...🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️..
I am blessed by your comments as always.😊😊
 

Happy2020

Active member
Oct 5, 2020
114
70
28
#12
Hi Happy2020 good to hear from you and I appreciate you making time to type out your comments.Yes proverbs does say that even charm is deceptive and that beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the lord is to be praised.It is highighting the reality that physical beauty doesnt last forever because it changes with time,life experiences,age,and also physical beauty can be altered through sickness,an accident ect..You see many actors/actress using cosmetic surgery to maintain their youthful beauty as with age some of them do loose the beauty they once had.We have heard stories of how a person with charisma and charm has been able to deceive people outta money and all sort of things..So it's just giving a clear picture of these things...in stark contrast to a woman who fears God...is of such high value and a good thing to process....its praise worthy...my goodness👏🏻👏🏻
The bible say he who finds a wife finds a good thing..so a wife is a good thing in a general sense and God designed a female in such a way that she will appeal to a man physically and Visa versa..(naturally they type if person you are determines if you are a good wife or husband as a man/woman becomes a wife/husband by the status of being marriage to another)

Unfortunately social media,advertising the movie industry ect heavily promote physical beauty and sexualized imagery...a half naked lady promoting bubble gum...???🤣🤣...common what's that about?
Yet It is God who made each and everyone of us and physical beauty,being attracted to someone are natural things we experience as human beings which isnt a sin itself.. what defines it as sin is the context in which it is expressed and the motivation.Joseph was handsome and well built and him being handsome and being physically well built was just how he was...and the bible mentioned this to illustrate that potiphers wife attraction to him was purely sexual.

The bible says that God doesn't tempt us..but it's our own inner desires that can entice us ect...and funny how God made us with the capacity to enjoy food because of how our mouths are made..taste buds ect are there to enjoy the flavours of food with saliva,teeth ect to aid the process of food consumption..
I guess anything that God created for us to experience joy from can be corrupted by sinful desires or motives.

Living for God yet enjoy natural blessing is a good thing...who doesnt think wow when seeing an awesome sunset...or drinking a glass of cold water on a hot day is just bliss..Physically there are many blessing to enjoy in life within the context of living for God which he does expect us to utilise wherever we are for where we are there are blessing there that many wish they had.
Yes a persons personality,character are the things which one builds life upon ultimately rather than how they look.Yet their physical form is also part of who they are too and each person has physical traits that someone would find attractive.
Some of us can be drawn to another person Romantically via their character or personality some of us can be drawn by their looks...but at some point I guess it's the persons personality or character that becomes the foundation stone coz that's the substance of who they are..😊
Man I hadn't planned to type so much honestly..🤣🤣
Haha you are up quite early!

Thanks for the reply! :) Nice to hear from you!

Let me clarify what I meant by our tests. G-d is the Master of the rule and yes temptations derive from our sins and lusts. However it’s easy to see that if G-d wanted to, He could take all the lusts away, toss out all the temptations and even destroy the devil whenever He wants. So why not? So indirectly these tests are to provide us choices. The ability of choice makes us greater than angels hence why we will judge them and even more so why we are called children of G-d and angels are not.

So back to this particular test, I think it is best for us to read the lives of righteous women to see what matters because there is a purpose of this physical and painful existence and it is to rectify and better this world. (I.e. Rebecca and watering camels and covering her face in her own will, Hannah praying for a righteous child, Ruth sacrificing everything she knew to join the Israelites and be the grandmother of David, etc).

Of course who are we to stand in their shoes, we are constantly bombarded with beauty but again it’s a test and it’s easy to pass when you toss out the tv, limit internet usage, do not go to malls, and do what is necessary. Jews set a great example for this lifestyle, hence why the whole book is written by them.

Anyone who only wants looks though... yes it is nature but that’s the point...are we animals or do we have a Spirit of G-d to Master the Flesh? Definitely not easy, I shall admit but that G-d for His help :)
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
5,653
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#13
Hi ruby123..nice to hear from you on this thread..(i keep wandering why they call it thread..😊😊)
Anyway..yes I agree that ultimately its what's within the person that will create a foundation to built a relationship upon.The else relationship I had was with a beautiful woman but the relationship became toxic due ur constant false accusations of cheating and offending others who tried to reassure her that I wasnt...in the end I ended it...yet it didnt diminish the appeal her physical beauty..but her beauty became like smoke...it's there but isn't the real substance if her..It was like a mask covering the toxicity that was within her.
True that we will be something about a person that we will find attractive for certain...maybe it is their looks..their smile..how they present themselves..or their sense if humour..ect....it will be something unique to you..
As a Christian its goes without saying that they should be a Christian otherwise you eil just be unequally yoked coz I know that there are many lovely people around in a humanistic sense who are not Christians..my goodness...yet at some point the spiritual ans moral divide will become all too apparent.A sheep yoked with a goat..their fathers satan..your fathers God...🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️..
I am blessed by your comments as always.😊😊

Was your ex a christian and had she been cheated on before and perhaps thought that that was going to be a regular pattern?
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,307
1,187
113
#14
Was your ex a christian and had she been cheated on before and perhaps thought that that was going to be a regular pattern?
Yes she was a Christian and said an ex boyfriend had cheated on her in thr past with her sister whom she had stopped speaking to since then...I could only assume it's TRUE...
she may of just falsely accused her ex of cheating the same as me...
The root could even be a "fear of abandonment"..coz her parents divorced and she didnt see her father much..

So yes I can understand how and why this could leave her feeling insecure and jealous ect..yet that level of outburst only destroys something that was meaningful..it took a good while to get over the whole thing..😊😊
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
5,653
4,365
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#15
Yes she was a Christian and said an ex boyfriend had cheated on her in thr past with her sister whom she had stopped speaking to since then...I could only assume it's TRUE...
she may of just falsely accused her ex of cheating the same as me...
The root could even be a "fear of abandonment"..coz her parents divorced and she didnt see her father much..

So yes I can understand how and why this could leave her feeling insecure and jealous ect..yet that level of outburst only destroys something that was meaningful..it took a good while to get over the whole thing..😊😊
Unfortunately it is a common story even within the christian circles. Still the Lord can heal and set free, in fact he wants to but we have to give it to him and sometimes feel the pain again in the process.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,307
1,187
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#16
Unfortunately it is a common story even within the christian circles. Still the Lord can heal and set free, in fact he wants to but we have to give it to him and sometimes feel the pain again in the process.
Yes most definitely because Christians are saved "people"..and we all have things in life that can impact us long term until God sets us free.It was very painful coz we went to the same church,same bible study group and she lived in my area...
Her own stubbornness and cold heart ect was proving too much so I asked God to either remove her or touch her by his spirit to bring about reconciliation ect..God remove her from the church...
she left of her own free will
God is my deliverance.
In hindsight I realise it was a trap set up by the enemie to ruin me,my reputation and to try and get me to leave the church..She was very beautiful and had a very sweet demour about her and very giving and caring..yet had real trouble receiving...possibily from a low self worth feeling she wasnt worth giving things too.
God showed me a picture of her heart..it was completely wrapped up in tight chains...😔
So regarding dating we do need God to guide us and give us a discerning heart no matter how nice a person can be in their personality and looks..🙏🏻😊
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,307
1,187
113
#17
I think personality over looks...
I used to be a women who went for really hansom men , my ex partners , yet they all ended up being narcissistic , and were very vain , a bit like myself before I was saved...

God forbid I should ever lose my sight , but if I did , looks would be out the window...

I am single now and have no problem with that , but if God ever gave me a man to marry , he would have to be a man after God`s own heart , looks can be deceiving...
...xox...
Yes we hear of many stories like you mentioned of persons who are very attractive to us then later on find yourelves with a monster across the restaurant dinner table..👎
God has given us the ability to be attracted to another human being just like we can find pleasure looking at nice things.I don't think you would ever date a guy whose a great personality but has 6 heads...I mean which face would you talk too yet alone maintain eye contact..🤣🤣
Yet we learn and mature about what we are looking for and knowing what we will gain personal forfillment and happiness from..Physical attraction does have a place it's part of that person and God made then with those colour eyes...hair..smile ect..and whilst we all even if we meet someone who we are attracted to physically...it's the getting to known what the Person is like (with Gods help)that will define weither ur not you feel there any substance that you really connect with.
Speaking of a man after Gods heart..
Funny that a man after God heart is also deemed as a very attractive trait to have to some women above all things other that it being a standard of his spiritually..😊😊
 

Runningman

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2020
1,501
1,149
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#18
I mean, there does come a point where looks are a deal breaker. Imagine a biological woman who looked identical to a man in every way, but was a devout woman of God with a charming personality. Can you date someone like that?
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
17,252
9,443
113
#19
The title question is a false dichotomy. It isn't an "either-or" issue.

Unless you are blind, appearance will matter, and unless you are shallow (or foolish), personality will matter. It really is that simple. Appearance is usually the first filter, simply because we can't (easily) assess personality from a distance, but it doesn't mean either is "more" important. It's just more likely that personality will be examined later.
 
L

LittleMermaid

Guest
#20
I think they are both important but personality is more at least for me. For example if I have two options...one where the guy is average looking but is a sweetheart and another where the guy is 6 feet and has a six pack but is very involved in the world...I would definitely choose the first one.
I want someone who could be there for me emotionally and looks don't really fulfill that.