Which is more important looks or personality?

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Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
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#21
The title question is a false dichotomy. It isn't an "either-or" issue.

Unless you are blind, appearance will matter, and unless you are shallow (or foolish), personality will matter. It really is that simple. Appearance is usually the first filter, simply because we can't (easily) assess personality from a distance, but it doesn't mean either is "more" important. It's just more likely that personality will be examined later.
Everybody is different and I met someone who is married to someone that they aren't even attracted too or even love..but married for mostly practical reasons of having children and various other issues...Yet they are deeply unhappy inside and are hoping one day they will grow to love this man.(without any guarantee they ever will)..and they are both Christian's...
We all have personal preferences and the title of this post is not a false dichotomy at all.Sometimes what we may place a certain priority on in regards to meeting someone special actually doesn't become as important as we though...it doesn't make a person foolish to want someone that they would be physically attracted too..some peoples preference in that area can be even wanting someone from a particular race,build height even wanting someone well groomed...that's their progitive...life is a great teacher at times and God often knows that's it's the things we need are the things that we often find most forfillment from not the things we think we want.
When it comes to relationships of course one becomes ultimately more important than the other...
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
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#22
I think they are both important but personality is more at least for me. For example if I have two options...one where the guy is average looking but is a sweetheart and another where the guy is 6 feet and has a six pack but is very involved in the world...I would definitely choose the first one.
I want someone who could be there for me emotionally and looks don't really fulfill that.
Hi Littlemermaid even I would choose the 1st one...(if I was female of course)...😊😊
Actually this thread had been created real life stuff...many years ago a good friend of mine married a woman who was stunning..a few years later they divorced..having a man to man chat he knew it was a mistake to marry her but felt trapped coz she has a 6 week Visa...He lost his home..(cox they had a child together..so she automatically got to live in his home)...It took a few years for his life to recover..😊😊
Yes they are both important and yes ultimately it's the person within that does it.I once became really attracted to a woman even before I saw what she looked like..it was at on line Christian forum..and she has a lovely way about her...then when she her pic.. it was like the icning on top of the cake..🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂😊😊
May you meet someone who will fill your life with rainbows sent from heaven....🌈🌈😊
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#23
looks... what does someone have to look like to be special anyway?
Jesus?
I think maybe its more important that they smell good and are clean. That someone has faith...that is constant.
People can change what they look all the time. People can also change personalities, well kind of, some are very good actors.

Dont hide your light under a bushel. Thats what really attracts others.

As christians, most of us arent really looking for the ones who are already righteous as we have a message, the gospel. We go after the lost sheep. They are the ones precious to us.

I think if you are too distracted by Romance, you wont really fufill Gods purpose for you. It would be like a wild goose chase. Some people are like that though, they think women cant do anything but have children. Or thats its not possible to function without someone constantly by their side.

Friendship is more important than romance, and endures a lot longer.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#24
Absolutely personality! I have learned through trial and error that for me, a person's heart truly makes them attractive. Now, I try to think clearly of the long run and not instant gratification by the shallow and superficial.
I was married and my priorities were completely backwards. Sure, my husband was great looking. Unfortunately, those looks drew attention he had no conscionable morals to balance. Although we both made mistakes, being as unequally yoked as we began, all efforts to grow together failed. People don't change their moral compass unless they allow God to change them. He IS the foundation on which to build everything else.
A heart lovingly crafted and polished by God will remain and keep that person attractive as the most beautiful faces and bodies fade.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#25
The title question is a false dichotomy. It isn't an "either-or" issue.

Unless you are blind, appearance will matter, and unless you are shallow (or foolish), personality will matter. It really is that simple. Appearance is usually the first filter, simply because we can't (easily) assess personality from a distance, but it doesn't mean either is "more" important. It's just more likely that personality will be examined later.
For most people this is true. (And God can deliver both!)🙂
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
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#26
Character, then personality, then looks for a long term decision

Unfortunately you usually end up getting to know someone in the reverse order.
 
Oct 7, 2014
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#27
I'd go looks just to spice things up a bit since everybody is going personality.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#28
how special do they need to be.
we used to have dedicated special needs units in schools but now special people are everywhere.

I just treat everyone special regardless
If everyone is treated special than no one is actually special.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
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#30
I'd go looks just to spice things up a bit since everybody is going personality.
Maybe I'll REALLY go off the grain here and say, "Looks or personality? How about food." :)

This could actually be a good answer.

If the cheeseburger looks good, and he looks good sitting next to it... and he's kind, polite, and thoughtful to the waitstaff...

I'd say we have a Triple Crown Winner. :cool:
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#31
Which is more important looks or personality?

The andser:

Puppies! Women will pretty much always fall for a guy with a dog. :giggle:

 
Oct 7, 2014
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#32
Maybe I'll REALLY go off the grain here and say, "Looks or personality? How about food." :)

This could actually be a good answer.

If the cheeseburger looks good, and he looks good sitting next to it... and he's kind, polite, and thoughtful to the waitstaff...

I'd say we have a Triple Crown Winner. :cool:
The guy might have to view that cheeseburger as competition. Does she love food more than me? The plot thickens
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#34
If everyone is treated special than no one is actually special.
Hmm. Everyone is special in their own unique way.
Then, there are those people that have qualities that make you want to spend more around them. That makes them extra special.😊
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#35
Hmm. Everyone is special in their own unique way.
Then, there are those people that have qualities that make you want to spend more around them. That makes them extra special.😊
Actually, in the eyes of God each one is a unique special creation. Yes indeed, there are some people that you really enjoy spending time with, perhaps because they treat you special.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#36
Actually, in the eyes of God each one is a unique special creation. Yes indeed, there are some people that you really enjoy spending time with, perhaps because they treat you special.
This is true.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
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#37
Actually, in the eyes of God each one is a unique special creation. Yes indeed, there are some people that you really enjoy spending time with, perhaps because they treat you special.
Also because there is a mutual connection or chemistry which makes you place a certain level of value to this unique dynamic.
 

RA28

New member
Aug 25, 2020
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#38
I think they are both important but personality is more at least for me. For example if I have two options...one where the guy is average looking but is a sweetheart and another where the guy is 6 feet and has a six pack but is very involved in the world...I would definitely choose the first one.
I want someone who could be there for me emotionally and looks don't really fulfill that.
Well said
 
Mar 4, 2020
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#40
The title question is a false dichotomy. It isn't an "either-or" issue.

Unless you are blind, appearance will matter, and unless you are shallow (or foolish), personality will matter. It really is that simple. Appearance is usually the first filter, simply because we can't (easily) assess personality from a distance, but it doesn't mean either is "more" important. It's just more likely that personality will be examined later.
That's true. Thank you for keeping it real.