Which is more important looks or personality?

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Belka

Junior Member
Aug 24, 2017
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when I was a child thats what I did. It HAD to be THAT toy (or ragdoll) not a plastic barbie. You couldnt simply replace a well loved one.
When I was a kid we were dirt poor so my toys were usually a stick and stones or something, lol (okay, I did have a few plushies or whatever the word is). But yes I think I get what you're saying, haha.

Did you mean that that's how it works for some people too, that they want "that one person" and no one else...?
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,424
622
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Hahaha. Well best of luck!

If only you knew the amount of books that are patiently waiting on my desk (and in my desk, and on my bed, and on the floor...) for me to read them. Haha. I'll have to add that one to the list, but it's quite lengthy! I might get to it in a decade. :p
Maybe if you pray real hard about it, I'll get to read it. Haha! (please don't do that)
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
10,700
3,879
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When I was a kid we were dirt poor so my toys were usually a stick and stones or something, lol (okay, I did have a few plushies or whatever the word is). But yes I think I get what you're saying, haha.

Did you mean that that's how it works for some people too, that they want "that one person" and no one else...?
yes possibly.
I mean, anyone can be a wife (or husband) and these days, you could partner up with anyone even of the same sex. over 18 and it would be legal to join to them.

shudder---
But if you truly love someone wouldnt it be because of WHO that person is, not just that they are of a certain type or they look the part.

I mean are we saved by Jesus because he was a single jewish male (and not even good looking, according to the bible). could anyone else in a huge city like Jerusalem fit the bill? People were constantly looking at kings as their Messiah, and they might have settled for anyone that was king, yet Jesus did not even want to be king. He was actually offered all the kingdoms of the world but he refused.

anyway, the Veleveteen rabbit is a picture book. It wont take long to read it, you could probably read it in the library in one sitting without checking it out.

too many people judge on outward appearances unlike God who looks on the heart.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,310
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Doesn't character go with personality?
In not really because you character is really about the core of whi you "really are"..yet certain elements of it can be expressed through your personality.
You must of heard the classic tales of someone whose got a great personality ans can come across very charming,quick witted ect..yet they are either verbally/physically abusive to there partner/spouse..
So a person can have a great personality that doesnt reveal the true heart of that person...one character is like the foundation to who they are and it us with this realm that dark traits can exist...
 

true_believer

Active member
Sep 24, 2020
419
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In not really because you character is really about the core of whi you "really are"..yet certain elements of it can be expressed through your personality.
You must of heard the classic tales of someone whose got a great personality ans can come across very charming,quick witted ect..yet they are either verbally/physically abusive to there partner/spouse..
So a person can have a great personality that doesnt reveal the true heart of that person...one character is like the foundation to who they are and it us with this realm that dark traits can exist...
What about sanity> That is one of the primary things I definitely look for in regards to friends and partners. I have no interest spending time or energy dealing with "crazy".
No sensible person should either.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,310
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What about sanity> That is one of the primary things I definitely look for in regards to friends and partners. I have no interest spending time or energy dealing with "crazy".
Of course....There ought be some level of stability or else you have a potential volatile/difficult relationship.Ifhthey have an unstable personality due to mental health issues or deep rooted trust issues making then obsessively jealous and lashing out in anger,jealousy,rage and argumentative and such like....hard to maintain a stable fruitful relationship with such dynamics....unless it's this person is going through a healing process by God and he gives you the grace to cope.

So i think you would be the only ending up loosing you sanity if God hasnt called you to ride it out with someone who he is restoring
 

true_believer

Active member
Sep 24, 2020
419
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Of course....There ought be some level of stability or else you have a potential volatile/difficult relationship.Ifhthey have an unstable personality due to mental health issues or deep rooted trust issues making then obsessively jealous and lashing out in anger,jealousy,rage and argumentative and such like....hard to maintain a stable fruitful relationship with such dynamics....unless it's this person is going through a healing process by God and he gives you the grace to cope.

So i think you would be the only ending up loosing you sanity if God hasnt called you to ride it out with someone who he is restoring
Define "restoring".
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,310
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God restoring a person back to a place of wholeness..some peoples thought life is unstable and God brings their though processes in to a state of stability,emotional healing for those who have emotional traumas and such like.
Many of us have gone through things in life and God is in the business of restoring many of us back to a healthy state of being..

That is what I am referring to the term restoration.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,284
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Tennessee
What about sanity> That is one of the primary things I definitely look for in regards to friends and partners. I have no interest spending time or energy dealing with "crazy".
No sensible person should either.
There is crazy which is nutso and then there is cray cray. which is nutso in an amusing sort of way.
 

PC123

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2020
854
476
63
Australia
Hi just through to put this question out there.When it comes to meeting someone special which is more important to you their personality or their looks,?
I know that a person's looks and personality can both be very appealing yet which one seems to tip the balance more..looks or personality?Or are they equally important?Sometimes people can say well personality is more important than looks..but God made us also to also find a person physically attractive too.I guess what will ultimately make a person happy iam sure would be what's within a person...yet there has to be some degree of physical attraction of some kind.
Sometimes a person with a great personality actually can become even more attractive..whereas a person whose physically attractive can also seem unattractive if they don't have a good personality.
Yet each of us are unique and different things appeal to different people.I know some ladies who view that a guys shoes is the number 1 thing that determines their level of interest in him.So any guy they meet they check out his shoes 1st..wrong shoes.....it's basically over for him..🤪🤪
So what are your views is how a person looks more important than their personality of visa versa?
Personally I have been drawn to someone by either...some times looks alone initially...other times their lovely personality...I guess something would draw me to them and what draws me can varie quite widely really.
Beauty is most definatley in the eye if the beholder which makes it so unique and individual as to what can appeal to us about someone
Look forward to hear your thoughts😊
Interesting topic... A persons appearance is the first important thing i would say... Its no secret than men are attracted to beautiful women but its the women that are more fussy... Just look at peoples profiles on those dating apps...

The girls have a list of what they want; must be 6 foot, have dark hair, must have a tan, six pack, drive a Mercedes.
And the guys have a list of what they have; 5'11, blonde hair, fair skin, no six pack, drive a BMW.

In order to hold a healthy relationship its the personality that matters the most. Weather its two people who have similar interests or the attraction of opposites, a persons personality is what you will have to deal with the most
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,310
1,197
113
Interesting topic... A persons appearance is the first important thing i would say... Its no secret than men are attracted to beautiful women but its the women that are more fussy... Just look at peoples profiles on those dating apps...

The girls have a list of what they want; must be 6 foot, have dark hair, must have a tan, six pack, drive a Mercedes.
And the guys have a list of what they have; 5'11, blonde hair, fair skin, no six pack, drive a BMW.

In order to hold a healthy relationship its the personality that matters the most. Weather its two people who have similar interests or the attraction of opposites, a persons personality is what you will have to deal with the most
Hi PC123 yes many people can sometimes act as though they have a sense of entitlement when it comes to the things they want.The irony is that sometimes when they even get the person who matches the physical attributes they say they want.it doesnt guarantee they will even value the person more,treat them well ect.
Ultimately yes its what's within the person that will always be the deal breaker...ans sometimes those who say they want this,this,this and this ect are often blissfully unaware weither they have what it takes to truly value when they get what they say they want.
Nice to have your comments on this thread.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,454
6,561
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Personally, what I find more attractive than anything else is a man who is after God’s own heart. Sure I do have certain parts in a man’s appearance that stands out to me, like his eyes, smile or hands (lol) but if the dude ain’t pursuing God, then I’ll pass.

I may also admit, I might be setting myself up to fail because God might have other plans and send me a man who is the complete opposite, and I’ve seen this happen with family and friends. But ultimately, as long as I am with Jesus, I’m good fam.
 
Jan 8, 2021
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Hi just through to put this question out there.When it comes to meeting someone special which is more important to you their personality or their looks,?
I know that a person's looks and personality can both be very appealing yet which one seems to tip the balance more..looks or personality?Or are they equally important?Sometimes people can say well personality is more important than looks..but God made us also to also find a person physically attractive too.I guess what will ultimately make a person happy iam sure would be what's within a person...yet there has to be some degree of physical attraction of some kind.
Sometimes a person with a great personality actually can become even more attractive..whereas a person whose physically attractive can also seem unattractive if they don't have a good personality.
Yet each of us are unique and different things appeal to different people.I know some ladies who view that a guys shoes is the number 1 thing that determines their level of interest in him.So any guy they meet they check out his shoes 1st..wrong shoes.....it's basically over for him..🤪🤪
So what are your views is how a person looks more important than their personality of visa versa?
Personally I have been drawn to someone by either...some times looks alone initially...other times their lovely personality...I guess something would draw me to them and what draws me can varie quite widely really.
Beauty is most definatley in the eye if the beholder which makes it so unique and individual as to what can appeal to us about someone
Look forward to hear your thoughts😊
well i asked myself this question alot, there is no right or wrong answer because we're all unique and different and that's okay, so I'll tell you my experience. I used to watch this show a while back and the hosts were two brothers who were very aesthetically pleasing, to me one more than the other, their characters were as day and night. The one who was more attractive was rude, arrogant and his behaviors we're unacceptable, the other one was nicer, more kind always picking up after his brother. So the thing is as the show progressed, I started disliking the arrogant one until I lost interest in the show altogether. A person's looks can draw you to them but they rarely keep your attention, a person's personality is the real treasure.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,310
1,197
113
well i asked myself this question alot, there is no right or wrong answer because we're all unique and different and that's okay, so I'll tell you my experience. I used to watch this show a while back and the hosts were two brothers who were very aesthetically pleasing, to me one more than the other, their characters were as day and night. The one who was more attractive was rude, arrogant and his behaviors we're unacceptable, the other one was nicer, more kind always picking up after his brother. So the thing is as the show progressed, I started disliking the arrogant one until I lost interest in the show altogether. A person's looks can draw you to them but they rarely keep your attention, a person's personality is the real treasure.
Hi thanks good example you gave and very true.Appreciate your contribution.What's the point in having a great looking car but the inside of it is filithy and the car can't even drive properly...🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
 
Jan 19, 2021
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www.angelicwarlord.com
I have read through majority of the thread and am encourage how the general sentiment is that 'personality overrules looks'. That said, is there a minimum standard or boundary that some might adhere when it comes to looks?

Reason I ask is that I am a short, homely and unattractive male, whom despite just turning 57 has never married, never had a girlfriend or never even dated. Honestly, I can say every women I have met in life has rejected me for my height and looks. All the feedback I have received from women is negative (i.e.: 'you are not attractive'; 'you are short'). Not once in life have I met a women that looked beyond my lack of physical attractiveness and reinforced any positive personality or character traits I might have.

It is not uncommon to go out in public and be marginalized by women in terms of scoffing (at my looks), 'smirky' contempt and critical looks. I have even received such treatment from Christian women at church.

Speaking of which, as a single never married it can easy to feel without a home or out of place at church in that most single groups are made up of singles previously married. Obviously, I do not fit in with the married crowd at church, particularly the leadership. I recall some time ago meeting with a pastor for the first time at a church I had started attending, and the first words out of his mouth (laced with contempt) were 'women do not like you'.

I always thought that as Christian people we are 'fearfully and wonderfully made' and that as a body of believers we need to be 'devoted to one another in brotherly love' and to ultimately 'honor one another above yourselves'.

I know I Corinthians 7 reinforces how 'it is good for a man not to marry'. Perhaps the point is that there are those within the church body whom can accomplish things single that they might not be otherwise? And shouldn't we pinpoint such people and support them?

As for character qualities in a women, I feel it begins with Proverbs 11:16: 'a kindhearted woman gains respect'

But also includes I Timothy 3:11: 'In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.'

On numerous occasions I have prayed to God and said if you bring a women with those qualities into my life I will be happy to marry her. However, God is silent on such matters. Where He is not silent, however, is when I pray about my general single status, and Proverbs 3:3-4 comes to mind: 'let love and faithfulness never leave you'.

Perhaps the message driven home is that 'love and faithfulness' are qualities to seek and obtain prior to finding a mate. Or perhaps, love and faithfulness should define a person and not single status.