-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
I recall someone saying something like that to someone on CC in the past. It bothers me that one or two people think it's OK to speak for the rest of us. I wish these people would come forward. I don't like every post I read and if it's a topic that doesn't interest me I don't read it. I don't point fingers at one person and blame them for slowing down the forum.
T
Bulldust! I for one love your contributions to CC. Your ability to share your life - the highs and lows. Your honesty, raw and earnest posts, as well as your humorous ones. Also, not everything we write needs to have some deeper meaning or value. So, we love you Cristen and we love to see what God's doing in and through you. 
sorry, this is ridiculous.
as you know, i have personally thanked and encouraged you for your threads because right now i'm a little distracted with life and appreciate that you (are among those who) can offer the creativity that you do to your threads and posts. i am feeling badly that i'm not doing a better job contributing myself, so i especially appreciate all that you've done to foster the dialogue and convos. so, again, thanks for your honesty and courage.
the most courageous thing anyone can do is to be willing to be seen for who and what they are, in all their glory and failings. i love that you are such a brave girl.
cristen, i'm proud of how you've stepped into this new chapter, and taken us along. i'm honored to be along for the ride, and i feel that way about so many of you. if you're on my friends' list, i actually do read your posts, and i do care. otherwise, you wouldn't be on my FL.
tell the "someone" that if they don't like the threads, they're more than free to create others that are more relevant to he/she. it sounds like "someone" is just jealous.
and um, if they don't like that answer, you can send them in my direction, and i'll tell the "someone" myself. : )
p.s. to anyone offended by my earlier post in this thread, blame it on my juvenile sense of humor.
Last edited:
I don't know who wrote this to you, Cristen, but please don't take it to heart.
I've found that when you write a lot here, and most especially threads, it is, unfortunately, natural to draw a lot of criticism.
I've written a few threads while on this site and one thing I've found is that there are always parties in the crowd that are never happy and which I will never be invited to. Some will say, "You write too much," while others say, "I have no idea what you're saying, you never explain your point"; if you write polls, one group will say, "You have too many answers" while the other will complain, "You didn't put down enough options." On and on it goes.
I do take to heart anything that will help me become a better person and writer, BUT, the interesting thing I've found is that almost always--sure, there are a few exceptions, but it's very rare--the ones who are doing the criticizing NEVER write threads or polls themselves but seem to appoint themselves as heads of state who make the rest of us out to be monkeys for their own entertainment. And when we don't deliver the apparent entertainment or stimulation they feel we should, they are quick to criticize, but slow to actively try to make any changes/improvements themselves. Though I listen, criticism of this nature generally becomes mental diarrhea to me. It is duly digested but is very quickly and forcefully expunged because I usually only pay attention if the person is willing to pick up the pen and keyboard and show me a better way. I'm all for learning and improving but in my opinion, the person who is so quick to tell you do what you're doing wrong has then taken on responsibility to show you how to correct what you're doing and improve upon it, and if they can't do that, they should have never criticized you in the first place.
All I can say is, I love you and your ideas and your thoughts. Please don't stop sharing them. We also know you're going through some very tough times and this is a form of therapy for you. Other people are drinking, doing drugs, having hookups, and watching porn. You write threads. Should anyone have to wonder what the more constructive way of coping might be? Things that make you go Hmm...
As for the people who are so trigger-happy to speak so harshly to others and blame them of wallowing in self-pity, low-esteem, bad choices, whatever... I find these are usually the people who are first in line to speak coldly and mercilessly to others under the belief that they are "being real"... but the funny thing is, these same people absolutely crumble if anyone dares say anything to THEM, even if it's not even half as cold and unfeeling as the way they treat others. They're the last to offer support, a kind word, or a prayer but the FIRST to ask, and in some cases, practically demand, that everyone else pray for their own situation/tiptoe around their own fragile feelings. They see their own problems as the most important but yet blame everyone else for causing their own.
All I can say is... The Bible says you'll reap what you sow. I often wonder why these people seem absolutely perplexed when the world doesn't stop spinning for them if THEY should have a problem. Maybe the "realness" they think they are showing other people... is coming back to them tenfold.
Cristen, hang in there, love, and keep writing. I've gotten plenty of comments such as what you're describing and if you especially feel that God is leading you to post/write here, by all means, keep going. And if someone is criticizing you in a harassing way, don't hesitate to bring it to the attention of the mods. I'm sorry to go off on a tangent but I'm pretty upset that someone would write this to you, especially with all the time and care you show to others here on the forum.
P.S. I knew someone here a long time ago who was a bit afraid to venture into the forums (he was a chat person), and when he did, was told his posts were "boring" and "uninteresting." What the hee haw... He was a lovely person with very interesting things to say. But he was understandably very disheartened and stopped coming here altogether. I hate to see that happen to anyone here, most especially you.
P.P.S. I'm a bit of a rebel. Whenever I receive criticism about a particular topic... My general response... is to write a thread about it.
P.P.S. Whoever criticized you... I am looking forward to reading THEIR string of threads, which I expect to see soon. I hope they're even half as good as yours.
I've found that when you write a lot here, and most especially threads, it is, unfortunately, natural to draw a lot of criticism.
I've written a few threads while on this site and one thing I've found is that there are always parties in the crowd that are never happy and which I will never be invited to. Some will say, "You write too much," while others say, "I have no idea what you're saying, you never explain your point"; if you write polls, one group will say, "You have too many answers" while the other will complain, "You didn't put down enough options." On and on it goes.
I do take to heart anything that will help me become a better person and writer, BUT, the interesting thing I've found is that almost always--sure, there are a few exceptions, but it's very rare--the ones who are doing the criticizing NEVER write threads or polls themselves but seem to appoint themselves as heads of state who make the rest of us out to be monkeys for their own entertainment. And when we don't deliver the apparent entertainment or stimulation they feel we should, they are quick to criticize, but slow to actively try to make any changes/improvements themselves. Though I listen, criticism of this nature generally becomes mental diarrhea to me. It is duly digested but is very quickly and forcefully expunged because I usually only pay attention if the person is willing to pick up the pen and keyboard and show me a better way. I'm all for learning and improving but in my opinion, the person who is so quick to tell you do what you're doing wrong has then taken on responsibility to show you how to correct what you're doing and improve upon it, and if they can't do that, they should have never criticized you in the first place.
All I can say is, I love you and your ideas and your thoughts. Please don't stop sharing them. We also know you're going through some very tough times and this is a form of therapy for you. Other people are drinking, doing drugs, having hookups, and watching porn. You write threads. Should anyone have to wonder what the more constructive way of coping might be? Things that make you go Hmm...
As for the people who are so trigger-happy to speak so harshly to others and blame them of wallowing in self-pity, low-esteem, bad choices, whatever... I find these are usually the people who are first in line to speak coldly and mercilessly to others under the belief that they are "being real"... but the funny thing is, these same people absolutely crumble if anyone dares say anything to THEM, even if it's not even half as cold and unfeeling as the way they treat others. They're the last to offer support, a kind word, or a prayer but the FIRST to ask, and in some cases, practically demand, that everyone else pray for their own situation/tiptoe around their own fragile feelings. They see their own problems as the most important but yet blame everyone else for causing their own.
All I can say is... The Bible says you'll reap what you sow. I often wonder why these people seem absolutely perplexed when the world doesn't stop spinning for them if THEY should have a problem. Maybe the "realness" they think they are showing other people... is coming back to them tenfold.
Cristen, hang in there, love, and keep writing. I've gotten plenty of comments such as what you're describing and if you especially feel that God is leading you to post/write here, by all means, keep going. And if someone is criticizing you in a harassing way, don't hesitate to bring it to the attention of the mods. I'm sorry to go off on a tangent but I'm pretty upset that someone would write this to you, especially with all the time and care you show to others here on the forum.
P.S. I knew someone here a long time ago who was a bit afraid to venture into the forums (he was a chat person), and when he did, was told his posts were "boring" and "uninteresting." What the hee haw... He was a lovely person with very interesting things to say. But he was understandably very disheartened and stopped coming here altogether. I hate to see that happen to anyone here, most especially you.
P.P.S. I'm a bit of a rebel. Whenever I receive criticism about a particular topic... My general response... is to write a thread about it.
P.P.S. Whoever criticized you... I am looking forward to reading THEIR string of threads, which I expect to see soon. I hope they're even half as good as yours.
Last edited:
So I had a long, snarky post all typed out in your defense but then I re-read it and thought I needed to tone it back a little, so instead I will leave the very last line:
I kid you not, MissCriss, I was thisclose to posting earlier today saying how glad I was that you were back and posting.
So...there's my opinion on that.
I kid you not, MissCriss, I was thisclose to posting earlier today saying how glad I was that you were back and posting.
So...there's my opinion on that.
M
So...I kinda feel like I've just been group-hugged here. Which is awesome. Y'all made me smile a lot and cry a little. Why does that happen, when someone is all down, and they get shown kindness, and the water works start? Stupid emotions...
Really though, what you guys have said has helped.
I was pretty upset about what that person said...not so much because it was a crappy thing to say, but because I'd already been wondering if that's how people saw my posts. I feel like I can't shut up on here...seriously weird for me. And sometimes I get that feeling, like...Why am I bothering these poor people with this junk? And I usually stew about it for a couple hours, get over it, and come back to post more. Just...in my mind, this person was confirming something I already feared.
I have this weird struggle I go through- I want to be paid attention to, and people pay attention to me, and then I'm embarrassed about the attention I get. When I was little, I had no such qualms; I was a camera hog, and I danced and sang all over the place. And then I started finding out people were bothered by that, that it made them feel bad that others were laughing and smiling and encouraging me to keep it up. My sister was big on pointing out my attention seeking personality. A lot of people were. That...I dunno, I didn't do it to hurt anybody, I just liked that people were happy and that I could make them that way with a song or a silly face or a goofy story. I never really got why that bothered anyone...so I could entertain people...so what? I'm the first to point out all the things I CAN'T do that others are awesome at. So that's one of my silly insecurities; when I do start using the few gifts God gave me, I always worry someone else is going to feel diminished by that and feel hurt.
I seriously just forgot why I'm even droning on about this.
Oh! The point- so, the words that were written to me...it's crazy how people who barely know us can so easily pick up on our sore spots and know exactly how to make them hurt worse. I'm annoyed that I let it happen. But I'm glad you've all been so understanding and even protective. I hope you guys know that even with my head being screwed on backwards...or sometimes not even attached...I love y'all and would do the same for you.
So now I feel all awkward, which is becoming the norm for me...um...right, I'm gonna try and catch and remove some moths.
Really though, what you guys have said has helped.
I was pretty upset about what that person said...not so much because it was a crappy thing to say, but because I'd already been wondering if that's how people saw my posts. I feel like I can't shut up on here...seriously weird for me. And sometimes I get that feeling, like...Why am I bothering these poor people with this junk? And I usually stew about it for a couple hours, get over it, and come back to post more. Just...in my mind, this person was confirming something I already feared.
I have this weird struggle I go through- I want to be paid attention to, and people pay attention to me, and then I'm embarrassed about the attention I get. When I was little, I had no such qualms; I was a camera hog, and I danced and sang all over the place. And then I started finding out people were bothered by that, that it made them feel bad that others were laughing and smiling and encouraging me to keep it up. My sister was big on pointing out my attention seeking personality. A lot of people were. That...I dunno, I didn't do it to hurt anybody, I just liked that people were happy and that I could make them that way with a song or a silly face or a goofy story. I never really got why that bothered anyone...so I could entertain people...so what? I'm the first to point out all the things I CAN'T do that others are awesome at. So that's one of my silly insecurities; when I do start using the few gifts God gave me, I always worry someone else is going to feel diminished by that and feel hurt.
I seriously just forgot why I'm even droning on about this.
Oh! The point- so, the words that were written to me...it's crazy how people who barely know us can so easily pick up on our sore spots and know exactly how to make them hurt worse. I'm annoyed that I let it happen. But I'm glad you've all been so understanding and even protective. I hope you guys know that even with my head being screwed on backwards...or sometimes not even attached...I love y'all and would do the same for you.
So now I feel all awkward, which is becoming the norm for me...um...right, I'm gonna try and catch and remove some moths.
I
I'm just catching up on this thread,so I wasn't here for the "group hug". I have to say that I'll never understand why people just don't speak their minds in an open post for all to see,instead of hiding in PM's saying stupid,hurtful crap to people. If someone believed so strongly that you were single handedly killing the singles forums with yer' "inane" banter or talk of "you,you,you" then they should have the stones to post their complaints openly for all to see.
I know,personally I'd rather have someone be mean to my face than do it secretly.
I just hope this person isn't someone on my friend list here. I'd hate to think that I'd actually know someone so incredibly juvenile. There's only room for one retard in CC and that's me!
Anyhoo...
I know,personally I'd rather have someone be mean to my face than do it secretly.
I just hope this person isn't someone on my friend list here. I'd hate to think that I'd actually know someone so incredibly juvenile. There's only room for one retard in CC and that's me!
Anyhoo...
U
Pfft... what a load of crap, whoever said that.
You've had major life changes and need support. If some ignorant jerk can't grasp that then they can move along.
I've said it in PM and i'll say it here, your recent threads/posts have been good and made me think and inspiring. So don't feel awkward because one whiner has their head so far up someplace they can't figure out whats really going on. Keep posting, and creating threads. If they don't like them then they don't have to open the threads.
You've had major life changes and need support. If some ignorant jerk can't grasp that then they can move along.
I've said it in PM and i'll say it here, your recent threads/posts have been good and made me think and inspiring. So don't feel awkward because one whiner has their head so far up someplace they can't figure out whats really going on. Keep posting, and creating threads. If they don't like them then they don't have to open the threads.
Wow Pipp, now I almost wish someone would unduly criticize ME so that we can go beat people up and get cupcakes. I mean, seriously... how can it get any better than that???!!!
Cristen, love, one other thing I wanted to mention--take what people throw at you and ask God to help you use it to improve yourself and your life. It's like like the donkey whose owner intended to kill it by throwing it in a pit and then filling in the hole with dirt--at first, the poor donkey was going out of its mind because it was so distraught, but as the clumps of dirt were being thrown into the pit, the donkey allowed each new spadeful to pile up continuously...but instead of being buried, it took a higher step onto each new lump. Eventually... the mound of dirt was high enough that the donkey could walk right out of the pit to freedom.
I'm not the most even-tempered person by any means, and, though I try to choose my battles, will get down and dirty when pushed to the limit. However, I can say that God has worked with me over the years, and much of it has to do with the negative feedback I've encountered on this site.
I had a job performance review about 3 years ago in which a superior said that one of my strongest qualities was being able to handle/take/implement constructive criticism and utilize it well. Believe it or not, I have some very cold-hearted, self-righteous, and always-quick-to-criticize but can-never-take-it-themselves people here at CC to thank for that. They gave me plenty of lumps of dirt to work and I'm thankful that God was able to use it. Not that it's ever easy because believe me, now I'm going to want to recruit Pipp and go on some Tag Team Smack-Downs... just for the cupcakes afterward!
Ugly also made the most valid point of all--why would someone bother to say such a cold and unfeeling thing to a person when all they have to do is choose not to read the threads? I have the same philosophy as well--anyone who doesn't like what I write can choose not to read it or put me on ignore.
I'm not seeing any slews of new threads here in Singles so I'm assuming the person who wrote you doesn't have the (I'd used a stronger word, but...) nerve to show themselves or show us a better way/supposedly more entertaining threads, so again, don't let it bother you, love. Anyone who doesn't have the guts to say something like that publicly and be willing to take their own flack for it... really doesn't have anything to say.
Cristen, love, one other thing I wanted to mention--take what people throw at you and ask God to help you use it to improve yourself and your life. It's like like the donkey whose owner intended to kill it by throwing it in a pit and then filling in the hole with dirt--at first, the poor donkey was going out of its mind because it was so distraught, but as the clumps of dirt were being thrown into the pit, the donkey allowed each new spadeful to pile up continuously...but instead of being buried, it took a higher step onto each new lump. Eventually... the mound of dirt was high enough that the donkey could walk right out of the pit to freedom.
I'm not the most even-tempered person by any means, and, though I try to choose my battles, will get down and dirty when pushed to the limit. However, I can say that God has worked with me over the years, and much of it has to do with the negative feedback I've encountered on this site.
I had a job performance review about 3 years ago in which a superior said that one of my strongest qualities was being able to handle/take/implement constructive criticism and utilize it well. Believe it or not, I have some very cold-hearted, self-righteous, and always-quick-to-criticize but can-never-take-it-themselves people here at CC to thank for that. They gave me plenty of lumps of dirt to work and I'm thankful that God was able to use it. Not that it's ever easy because believe me, now I'm going to want to recruit Pipp and go on some Tag Team Smack-Downs... just for the cupcakes afterward!
Ugly also made the most valid point of all--why would someone bother to say such a cold and unfeeling thing to a person when all they have to do is choose not to read the threads? I have the same philosophy as well--anyone who doesn't like what I write can choose not to read it or put me on ignore.
I'm not seeing any slews of new threads here in Singles so I'm assuming the person who wrote you doesn't have the (I'd used a stronger word, but...) nerve to show themselves or show us a better way/supposedly more entertaining threads, so again, don't let it bother you, love. Anyone who doesn't have the guts to say something like that publicly and be willing to take their own flack for it... really doesn't have anything to say.
Last edited:
M
Thanks everybody
I particularly like (and am working on) the suggestion to use what was said to improve. I'm also working on my reaction to criticism...obviously I handle it poorly and speak from a place of "ouch that hurt, gosh they must be right" rather than considering if their words are worth thinking about and applying to my life.
Sooo anyway...we're back to the big mystery then...Who framed Roger- wait no, the death of this forum. That.
I would like like to say though that a few of y'all have been livening this place up, so...yay!
...that's all I got
I particularly like (and am working on) the suggestion to use what was said to improve. I'm also working on my reaction to criticism...obviously I handle it poorly and speak from a place of "ouch that hurt, gosh they must be right" rather than considering if their words are worth thinking about and applying to my life.
Sooo anyway...we're back to the big mystery then...Who framed Roger- wait no, the death of this forum. That.
I would like like to say though that a few of y'all have been livening this place up, so...yay!
...that's all I got
I suppose you are meant to go on facebook and bash your soon to be ex, which seems to be what a lot of women in your shoes tend to do. Instead, you share your struggles and random musings on a site that is supposed to be supportive - and you focus on your feelings and personal struggles, rather than call your soon-to-be-ex a whole bunch of names.
Yep. Yer doing it wrong.
Yep. Yer doing it wrong.