Why are certain married people so disrespectful?

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OnThisRock

Senior Member
#21
Jan 20, 2011
353
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#21
Roh_Chris said:
I've seen it happen in my church. People used to call me for some work at odd hours. When I said I was busy, they asked me "Well, you're single. What do you have to do? Wash clothes? Cook for your family? Change your babies' nappies?" I simply smiled and said "I can't make it." After a few times they stopped bothering me.

Your friend has to do that. She must say "NO". They may not like it but she's better off not having those people in her life.

When in doubt, ask 'What Would Grumpy Cat Say'.... :rolleyes:

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Love the Grumpster!! I also know how to say NO. God has told me that I do not even have to explain the NO. Just say no and with no backup explanation. If they do not accept that, delete and block their phone number. lol.....
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#22
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
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#22
OnThisRock said:
This INFURIATES me. I found that is why I did not attend American churches and left my biological family, because they attempted to lay many burdens on me and burn me out. I was even a full time therapist and the church saw a gold mine when I came there in just to worship. They assumed I would also take on all their dysfunctional church members as clients because I was single with no kids. But, it is not just with church people........

I recently had the opportunity to take on a part time tutoring job on top of my full time university job. I decided not to take it because of her mentality. I asked the woman why the last man did not take the part time tutoring position. She said it was because the MAN had a family and did not have time. But she said, "You are single with no kids so you can dedicate your time to the kids". I ALMOST BLEW UP. If anything, I have even less time, because I have to do everything by myself (grocery shopping, lesson planning, etc). I think that is why it is really important when you are single, to draw the boundaries and guard your heart against these disrespectful married people who clearly target GOD's single women. It has taken years of sticking up for myself and avoiding these USERS to see they are NOT interested in my well being at all!! They are interested in WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR THEM.

Sis, you tell those workers of iniquity to take their own burdensom load back to hell where it belongs!!!! Jesus has harsh words for those workers of inequity, especially when they do such things in the church. SHAME ON THEM. God is a God of justice!!!! God loves single women and FREED them from this type of slavery. They will be held accountable.

Matthew 23:4. [TABLE="class: maintable3, width: 100%"]
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[TD]They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.
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Amen!!
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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#23
May 23, 2009
16,431
5,378
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#23
violakat said:
Hmm, maybe that is the root of a lot of disrespect by married people, jealousy.
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OnThisRock said:
Or afraid of her FREEDOM in Christ. I see alot of married people in complete bondage and they hate on singles. Yes.
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Viola and OnThisRock bring up excellent points and I had wanted to bring up the issue of jealousy in my post but forgot.

I used to work with a young woman who had 3 children by fathers who never committed to or supported her in any of the child-rearing. She was constantly telling me I should get a Baby Daddy, adopt kids, have kids... etc. She would also tell me (sometimes in the same day) that she deeply regretted having kids, especially one in particular who gave her the most trouble, and that if she had my life, she'd be out partying every weekend.

I'm not saying Christian women are wanting to go out and party (though some secretly do, I'm sure--I'm a single and sometimes I wish I could go to a good party, but I never do.) But I do think many women, as Rock pointed out, feel burdened, cheated, and resentful. Some wonder what they could have been in their careers if they hadn't had kids. Others are so stressed out that they greatly resent seeing other women who don't have the same ties. I have a Christian friend who often tells me, "You have no man and no kids--you are the smartest woman in the world."

Ha!!! While I certainly empathize with women who are mothers, I also won't be abused because of it (and appreciate moms who treat singles without kids respectfully all the more.)

The old saying, Misery Loves Company, holds true in many instances. Like my co-worker, some of the people you're describing feel trapped or tied down, and they want to see everyone else around them feel the same way as well, in one way or the other.
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#24
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#24
OnThisRock said:
Love the Grumpster!! I also know how to say NO. God has told me that I do not even have to explain the NO. Just say no and with no backup explanation. If they do not accept that, delete and block their phone number. lol.....
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That's a good thing! Sometimes it's hard to say NO when we're asked to do something. But we need to do it if things get out of hand. :)
 
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OnThisRock

Senior Member
#25
Jan 20, 2011
353
9
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#25
seoulsearch said:
Viola and OnThisRock bring up excellent points and I had wanted to bring up the issue of jealousy in my post but forgot.

I used to work with a young woman who had 3 children by fathers who never committed to or supported her in any of the child-rearing. She was constantly telling me I should get a Baby Daddy, adopt kids, have kids... etc. She would also tell me (sometimes in the same day) that she deeply regretted having kids, especially one in particular who gave her the most trouble, and that if she had my life, she'd be out partying every weekend.

I'm not saying Christian women are wanting to go out and party (though some secretly do, I'm sure--I'm a single and sometimes I wish I could go to a good party, but I never do.) But I do think many women, as Rock pointed out, feel burdened, cheated, and resentful. Some wonder what they could have been in their careers if they hadn't had kids. Others are so stressed out that they greatly resent seeing other women who don't have the same ties. I have a Christian friend who often tells me, "You have no man and no kids--you are the smartest woman in the world."

Ha!!! While I certainly empathize with women who are mothers, I also won't be abused because of it (and appreciate moms who treat singles without kids respectfully all the more.)

The old saying, Misery Loves Company, holds true in many instances. Like my co-worker, some of the people you're describing feel trapped or tied down, and they want to see everyone else around them feel the same way as well, in one way or the other.
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Yes. I've been faced with alot of jealousy from men too. I have PhD and have been driven out of ome really good jobs by men who feel that as a woman, I should be miserably married like them. They hate the fact that they have to go home to their strifeful wives and 2.3 children. Also jealousy is very dangerous. It invites witchcraft in and works of iniquity. Anytime there is a hint of it, I run. Also, God tells me and protects me ahead of time, to keep away. He will show me intentions pretty quickly now. This thread has been very healing. It woke me up to some things today. Thanks for the posts, crimson, viola, and seoulsearch.
 
J

Jamal

Banned
#26
Sep 29, 2014
347
1
0
#26
OnThisRock said:
Yes. I've been faced with alot of jealousy from men too. I have PhD and have been driven out of ome really good jobs by men who feel that as a woman, I should be miserably married like them. They hate the fact that they have to go home to their strifeful wives and 2.3 children.
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Is there any such thing as a woman with a PhD who isn't rude, sexist, and paranoid herself?
 
S

sunnysky31

Guest
#29
#29
Well an enlightening thread has once again been trolled upon. *eyeroll*

So Crimson, I was just reading your question and I do find it to be 100% accurate. I OFTEN times get dumped upon because I am single (even though I have children) many think that its A-OK to dump the "side jobs" on me. Hello? I'm alone with kids already! LoL

I think that a MAJOR thing missing in churches is empathy for single parents, and singles in general. I see a lot of love and flat out pampering of the widows: however, the church AS A WHOLE truly does neglect the orphans, single parents, and singles.

I see the attitude from those that are married in the church as "I am better than you, you are single with kids for a reason" OR "You are single for a reason" and that is TOTALLY un-biblical.

For the record, If I were your single friend I would ask the married couple straight up "Umm do I look like I have MORON written on my forehead??" ;)
 
O

OnThisRock

Senior Member
#30
Jan 20, 2011
353
9
18
#30
One time I was in desperate need of assistance and just started attending a church. They asked me what I needed. I was honest and said I needed 40 dollars to get home to see my family. At least I was honest. I got a nasty phone call from this guy named sTeve from the church. It went like this, "My name is Steve and I am a man of God to tell you that we only help families and families we know, so you can go to a social service agency because we are not one." Hahahaha. Hey, he asked me what I needed. I am also fatherless with no husband and just needed to get home. lol..... ps. Phoenix then had a huge flood and monsoon. :) I did write him an email, and told him that he was harrassing me and not to ask me what I needed as a new member. lol....
 
S

sunnysky31

Guest
#31
#31
OnThisRock said:
One time I was in desperate need of assistance and just started attending a church. They asked me what I needed. I was honest and said I needed 40 dollars to get home to see my family. At least I was honest. I got a nasty phone call from this guy named sTeve from the church. It went like this, "My name is Steve and I am a man of God to tell you that we only help families and families we know, so you can go to a social service agency because we are not one." Hahahaha. Hey, he asked me what I needed. I am also fatherless with no husband and just needed to get home. lol..... ps. Phoenix then had a huge flood and monsoon. :) I did write him an email, and told him that he was harrassing me and not to ask me what I needed as a new member. lol....
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Wow, that's just awful... :(
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#32
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
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#32
Try not to get too emotional guys.......



but it seems Jamal has been banned. :rolleyes:
 
R

Richie_2uk

Guest
#35
#35
Perhaps many people get married for the wrong reasons? Maybe God is not in there married lives or in the centre of there marriage. Maybe on both partners not given marriage a full thought beforehand? Maybe there hearts were not really for it, but went ahead with it without thinking the consequences. And probably there are tons more reasons why there is disresect in married people. But don't judge them, let them figure it out, live your own lives and be less pointing of the finger and saying oh look at them, or look at the problem they have. Look at your own problems.
 
O

OnThisRock

Senior Member
#36
Jan 20, 2011
353
9
18
#36
ps.... I reported him. I learned about the ! button in the bottom left hand side. He must have upset others because he got banned fast!
 
R

Richie_2uk

Guest
#38
#38
OnThisRock said:
ps.... I reported him. I learned about the ! button in the bottom left hand side. He must have upset others because he got banned fast!
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Yes you will find many people who join this site are out purley to upset. But having saying that. There are people who can take things wrong, so naturally they go against that person. When he or she could be saying something right. which then casues people to turn on that person. and get banned wrongly.

It's hard to tell or hard to read emotion behind text. its hard to read something just purely by text. and thats another problem I see on CC. I seen many people wrongly banned, all because someone took the person wrong. Though Im not saying this is the case for the OP to get banned. but We people don't give a thought when we take things wrong.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#39
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
113
#39
OnThisRock said:
ps.... I reported him. I learned about the ! button in the bottom left hand side. He must have upset others because he got banned fast!
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Not take credit, can I... But me know someone who reported him three times.

 
S

sunnysky31

Guest
#40
#40
Richie_2uk said:
Perhaps many people get married for the wrong reasons? Maybe God is not in there married lives or in the centre of there marriage. Maybe on both partners not given marriage a full thought beforehand? Maybe there hearts were not really for it, but went ahead with it without thinking the consequences. And probably there are tons more reasons why there is disresect in married people. But don't judge them, let them figure it out, live your own lives and be less pointing of the finger and saying oh look at them, or look at the problem they have. Look at your own problems.
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Well Crimson was not judging them really. She was asking why married people put a lot off onto single people because they simply think that single people can handle it. I personally did not see her as judging anyone. :)
 
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