Why are single Christians underestimating online christian dating?

[tourist]

If you are not attracting the quality of man you like then it is probably not because the quality of man you like is not on that site. It is probably due to your profile description. i don't mean to be judgmental but I suspect that your profile description goes like this “ hi guys, i am a fun, bubbly and outgoing woman, i have a pet cat called kitty, i like cheese on toast...lol, i like adventure, i like to have fun and i attend my local church" of course if your profile description is like this then you may not attract a true christian. Why not say something like this in your profile description “ i am a devoted christian woman with strong moral values and i am seeking a devoted christian man with strong Christan values to possibly start a family that is founded on christian values with, i take my christian faith very seriously and i will consider having a relationship with a man only if he has the same high level of moral and christian vales as me” why not say something like this on your profile and see if true christian men will not contact you, i am sure they will. A strong profile description like this will also chase away time wasters and false Christians because they will know that you are the strict and intelligent type that cannot be deceived. True christian men will not be scared of a widow because it is not a sin to marry a widow.
"It's their life and not yours, right?"..........aren't we Christians? aren't we supposed to help and guide each other? I am only trying to help my fellow Christians in finding true christian partners. Remember one of the greatest commandments which is love your neighbor as your self.

For someone who has only written 11 post in 16 months you talk a lot of trash.

 

[cmarieh]

Actually, my exact words were - you're more beautiful on the inside than you are on the outside, and that's saying something.


She was talking about her church... and like... really into it. Sigh, I guess I'm bad at this type of thing.

You have been encouraging me in other posts and I wanted to share something with you that you have shared with me. "In the dating pool, you're an upper echelon candidate". If a girl can't see that, she is really missing something truly remarkable and you deserve someone who sees you for who you are in Christ. I am sorry that you have been through that and it is very hard to overcome, but you strike me as someone who has been through a lot in his life, but you know exactly who you are and that is a rare quality to have and any woman would be lucky to have a guy like you and she is out there somewhere.

 

[Olerica]

If you are not attracting the quality of man you like then it is probably not because the quality of man you like is not on that site. It is probably due to your profile description. i don't mean to be judgmental but I suspect that your profile description goes like this “ hi guys, i am a fun, bubbly and outgoing woman, i have a pet cat called kitty, i like cheese on toast...lol, i like adventure, i like to have fun and i attend my local church" of course if your profile description is like this then you may not attract a true christian. Why not say something like this in your profile description “ i am a devoted christian woman with strong moral values and i am seeking a devoted christian man with strong Christan values to possibly start a family that is founded on christian values with, i take my christian faith very seriously and i will consider having a relationship with a man only if he has the same high level of moral and christian vales as me” why not say something like this on your profile and see if true christian men will not contact you, i am sure they will. A strong profile description like this will also chase away time wasters and false Christians because they will know that you are the strict and intelligent type that cannot be deceived. True christian men will not be scared of a widow because it is not a sin to marry a widow.
"It's their life and not yours, right?"..........aren't we Christians? aren't we supposed to help and guide each other? I am only trying to help my fellow Christians in finding true christian partners. Remember one of the greatest commandments which is love your neighbor as your self.

I'm honestly trying to find a graceful way to respond to your presumption, but as I am struggling, I will wish you the best in your quest for a spouse and ask God to bless you.

 

[ServantStrike]

You have been encouraging me in other posts and I wanted to share something with you that you have shared with me. "In the dating pool, you're an upper echelon candidate". If a girl can't see that, she is really missing something truly remarkable and you deserve someone who sees you for who you are in Christ. I am sorry that you have been through that and it is very hard to overcome, but you strike me as someone who has been through a lot in his life, but you know exactly who you are and that is a rare quality to have and any woman would be lucky to have a guy like you and she is out there somewhere.

Thank you. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that right now. Why are you single of all people. You're denying some man a lot of joy you know. I know why I've been single - you're right in that I've been through a lot.

I took myself off the market for almost 10 years to work on issues that were largely out of my control (health related) because I believed that no woman would have wanted me the way I was (I even had a pastors daughter say that to my face once at a church outing - in front of other women).

The pool on dating websites is not like the pool here, or I'd have been on at least a few dates by now (and enjoyed them quite thoroughly). Most of the women on there won't even let me talk to them (at all). I thought if nothing else I might make a few friends, but that's pretty much out of the question. The time it takes is 30-60 minutes of searching to get to talk to someone in a 5 minute email. But it's the only option I've got left, so I'm sticking with it. It's a waiting game filled with a lot of frustration, and if I didn't know any better I'd say it feels a lot like gambling.

You're an aspiring accountant - you might be interested to know I crunched the numbers, and I have gotten to talk about Christ during a total of 4 percent of all correspondence on one popular "Christian" dating website. That number is absolutely horrendous, and I die a little bit inside when I look at it. Perhaps my sample size is too small (roughly 60 candidates), but it took me a long time to find those 60 candidates.

What's going to happen for all of these women who ignore the decent human beings who try to reach them is they are going to end up settling for someone sub-par. I guess they haven't looked around the pews in their churches recently, but there are more women then men in those pews. Christian men are a pretty valuable commodity for us to be thrown out like refuse.

You can't sink your claws into some guy off the street, force him to marry you, and then drag him to church and have the same experience you do with a man who willingly walked into the church long before he ever met you. The one is going to say he's a Christian, but you're never really going to know for sure if he isn't just playing along because he just wanted a "nice" woman who wouldn't cheat on him, while the other one is going to take a stand for Christ and help the woman in his life grow into a more spiritually mature Christian because he already learned on his own that's what Christians do is to help each other grow.

 

[cmarieh]

Thank you. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that right now. Why are you single of all people. You're denying some man a lot of joy you know. I know why I've been single - you're right in that I've been through a lot.

I took myself off the market for almost 10 years to work on issues that were largely out of my control (health related) because I believed that no woman would have wanted me the way I was (I even had a pastors daughter say that to my face once at a church outing - in front of other women).

The pool on dating websites is not like the pool here, or I'd have been on at least a few dates by now (and enjoyed them quite thoroughly). Most of the women on there won't even let me talk to them (at all). I thought if nothing else I might make a few friends, but that's pretty much out of the question. The time it takes is 30-60 minutes of searching to get to talk to someone in a 5 minute email. But it's the only option I've got left, so I'm sticking with it. It's a waiting game filled with a lot of frustration, and if I didn't know any better I'd say it feels a lot like gambling.

You're an aspiring accountant - you might be interested to know I crunched the numbers, and I have gotten to talk about Christ during a total of 4 percent of all correspondence on one popular "Christian" dating website. That number is absolutely horrendous, and I die a little bit inside when I look at it. Perhaps my sample size is too small (roughly 60 candidates), but it took me a long time to find those 60 candidates.

What's going to happen for all of these women who ignore the decent human beings who try to reach them is they are going to end up settling for someone sub-par. I guess they haven't looked around the pews in their churches recently, but there are more women then men in those pews. Christian men are a pretty valuable commodity for us to be thrown out like refuse.

You can't sink your claws into some guy off the street, force him to marry you, and then drag him to church and have the same experience you do with a man who willingly walked into the church long before he ever met you. The one is going to say he's a Christian, but you're never really going to know for sure if he isn't just playing along because he just wanted a "nice" woman who wouldn't cheat on him, while the other one is going to take a stand for Christ and help the woman in his life grow into a more spiritually mature Christian because he already learned on his own that's what Christians do is to help each other grow.

You are very welcome Much like you I like to encourage my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I honestly don't know why I am still single. The only answer I have is that God hasn't directed the man he has for me yet and instead he is preparing us for each other, but I have been actively been seeking God that he protects and guards his heart.

 

[Desdichado]

Ah, but will they let you talk to them for more than two minutes. Even online, the answer is no without a lot of crawling over broken glass. I'll get back to you if I find out that's worth it. The answer is yes, occasionally you get to talk to one, but you've got to spend a lot of time to do so (hey, maybe it pays off, who knows).

Lets see, the top couple of things I see Christian women looking for on online dating sites:
- A man who's a Christian (a lot of us check that box)
- A man who has a ministry (really now, doesn't every Christian witness from time to time in some fashion or another)
- A man who has a job (and really, as a man, do we even bother dating if we have nothing to offer)
- A man who's honest (again, isn't that covered by being a Christian)
- A man who can grow them in their faith (again, isn't that our job)
- Romance (again, don't they think that God might not be able to teach us a little something about love)


On one popular online dating site, I have a 1 response to 25 attempts ratio. 50 percent of all responses are one sentence emails saying "I don't think you're what I'm looking for." The irony of this is not lost on me - I check all the boxes they supposedly are looking for. And I'm not being picky, my search radius is any woman within a 100 mile radius between the ages of 20 and 36 (I want children or I'd go higher).

If I didn't know any better, I'd say abstinent single Christian men with decent jobs don't stand a fighting chance of talking to a single Christian lady. This may explain why most of the men I see in the pews at church are what I'd term as... neutered. The fight is just knocked right out of them.

You either go insane, you get bitter, or you stop trying. Count me in the first category.

My advice is to do whatever you've got to do to try and find someone now. The odds get worse the older you get.

Hey, maybe I should pretend I'm at work and do a KPI report about online dating! I'll throw some pretty graphs and charts in there and then maybe women will talk to me. All the ladies really want is a man who can chart!

Apparently our experiences are very different, buddy. I don't know what you're expecting from your online dating experience, but I typically exchange a few messages, ask them out, and meet up with them. It's never been particularly unpleasant.

I'd give some advice, but I don't know how you write your profile or what photos you choose.

 

[ServantStrike]

You are very welcome Much like you I like to encourage my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I honestly don't know why I am still single. The only answer I have is that God hasn't directed the man he has for me yet and instead he is preparing us for each other, but I have been actively been seeking God that he protects and guards his heart.

Yes, always guard the heart. The trick is to keep it at bay long enough that you know for sure you're giving it to the right one. Otherwise the heartbreak is painful (and unnecessary).

It's a calculated risk - don't let any feelings creep in and you never know what you might miss, but let them all flood in and become shipwrecked on the rocky coasts of love ill advised.

If it was easy, everyone would do it though, right?

 

[cmarieh]

Yes, always guard the heart. The trick is to keep it at bay long enough that you know for sure you're giving it to the right one. Otherwise the heartbreak is painful (and unnecessary).

It's a calculated risk - don't let any feelings creep in and you never know what you might miss, but let them all flood in and become shipwrecked on the rocky coasts of love ill advised.

If it was easy, everyone would do it though, right?

Very true! Relationships are full of give and take and a person can only give so much until they are burned out and they need to be shown affection and to be valued. Because I desire that a man is captivated by who I am and makes me feel so important to him that I place value in his life that I am one of his first and last thoughts of the day and I would love to know that he is praying for me too. Sorry about the mushy stuff