Why are single Christians underestimating online christian dating?

[Godson13]

That's not true, I can name a friends that I know have dated tons of people in real life. The one I mentioned included who did online dating and ending up only meeting creeps. One of my friends was totally for it until being scared from it, she still can't talk about her experience to this day. Of course people are deceptive and such in real life but truth it is much easier to bend online and get away with it much longer than in real life...Have you even seen Catfish?

FIRST OF ALL I DISAGREE THAT THERE ARE ENOUGH CHRISTIANS USING ONLINE CHRISTIAN DATING. THE MAJORITY OF THOSE ON CHRISTIAN DATING SITES ARE WHAT I CALL SOCIAL/FUN/PRETENDING/PERVERTED/PAGAN/FALSE CHRISTIANS. WHEN I SAY CHRISTIANS ARE UNDERESTIMATING ONLINE CHRISTAN DATING I AM NOT REFERRING TO THESE SOCIAL/FUN/PRETENDING/PERVERTED/PAGAN/FALSE CHRISTIANS WHO FORM AROUND 70% OF THE PROFILES ON ONLINE CHRISTIAN DATING SITES, INSTEAD I AM REFERRING TO THE UNDERESTIMATION OF ONLINE CHRISTIAN DATING BY TRUE/CONSERVATIVE/STRICT CHRISTIANS WITH HIGH MORAL VALUES. IT IS THESE CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS WITH HIGH MORAL VALUES I AM URGING TO GO ONLINE BECAUSE CHRISTIANS ARE SEARCHING FOR THEM.
CREEPS ARE ONLINE AND CREEPS ARE ALSO IN YOUR CHURCH BUT BE MORE AFRAID OF THE THE CREEP IN YOUR CHURCH THAN THE CREEP ONLINE BECAUSE THE CREEP IN YOUR CHURCH TOOK THE TIME TO FOOL YOU FOR YEARS THAT HE/SHE IS A TRUE CHRISTIAN BY ATTENDING CHURCH AND JOINING THE CHURCH CHOIR. YOU HAVE TO BE BRAVE TO GO ONLINE, YOU CANT BE A SOFTY, YOU HAVE TO BE VERY STRONG, MATURE AND INTELLIGENT IN IDENTIFYING THE TRUE CHRISTIANS ONLINE FROM THE CREEPS ONLINE, YOU CANT RULE OUT ONLINE CHRISTIAN DATING JUST BECAUSE OF SOME CREEPS.

 

[Lynx]

I don't avoid online christian dating sites because I'm afraid. I don't really avoid them at all. I just haven't bothered going to them because I just plain can't be bothered.

AND I HAVE CAPS LOCK TOO. STOP SHOUTING AT US.

 

[Lynx]

Speaking of which... I'm going to say something really blunt here. Godson who died and made you the moral compass? I get the impression you are trying to shame us into joining a christian dating site. Why are we obligated to join such a site just because you think we should?

This is very important so I'm going to break my normal rules and put it in large print, in a bright color.

I don't owe it to you or anyone else to join any site for any reason you or anyone else tells me I should.

Of all the nerve! Trying to guilt-trip me into joining a dating site...

Now of course I may at any point decide to join one for my own reasons. What I have said here does not in any way preclude me joining such a site at some time in the near or distant future. But I'm certainly not going to join one just because you think I owe it to anyone to join one.

 

[JonahLynx]

I hate black licorice!

That black bat licorice!

 

[cinder]

FIRST OF ALL I DISAGREE THAT THERE ARE ENOUGH CHRISTIANS USING ONLINE CHRISTIAN DATING. THE MAJORITY OF THOSE ON CHRISTIAN DATING SITES ARE WHAT I CALL SOCIAL/FUN/PRETENDING/PERVERTED/PAGAN/FALSE CHRISTIANS. WHO FORM AROUND 70% OF THE PROFILES ON ONLINE CHRISTIAN DATING SITES,

So are we really to the point of asking why do single christians underestimate online christian dating when 70% of the profiles on Christian dating sites come from Christians who aren't really Christian? I think that question kind of answers itself.

 

[tourist]

I think the issue is more about this idea of 'waiting for God' that i see allot of on this site. So if your busy doing nothing waiting for God to do everything for you, why would you go on a Christian dating site?

Not that i have anything against seeking Gods guidance, but i do believe God helps those who help themselves.

Exactly. 'Waiting on God' becomes an excuse to let your fears overcome you and simply do nothing even with there is an opportunity worth pursuing. Faint heart does not win fair woman.

 

[tourist]

creeps and scammers, yep. But good dating sites give you the tools to avoid them

I think that CC is a good dating site.

 

[Lynx]

I think that CC is a good dating site.

*Lynx hauls his "This is not a dating site" sign out of the closet and sticks it in front of tourist... who found JesusLives on this site... and got married...

Oh never mind.

 

[tourist]

Maybe I'll meet a nice Christian teller.
QUOTE]

That's out of the box thinking.

 

[ServantStrike]

You know, since I tried joining online dating sites, I've come to the conclusion that they're probably a waste of time. I'm abstinent, I have a decent job, and I work out. No I don't look like a lifeguard, but I'm not horrible looking either.

Here I am, paying cash money for the privilege of taking women to dinner (which would also cost money), and do you know what they do? They ignore me.

This is going to be a long and painful road. I don't know how many profiles I've scraped (pushing 200 now), but I've gotten to a conversation a grand total of 4 or 5 times, and those never go any where - except the one I told she was beautiful on the inside, now she doesn't talk to me.

Fun!

 

[Toffle]

You know, since I tried joining online dating sites, I've come to the conclusion that they're probably a waste of time. I'm abstinent, I have a decent job, and I work out. No I don't look like a lifeguard, but I'm not horrible looking either.

Here I am, paying cash money for the privilege of taking women to dinner (which would also cost money), and do you know what they do? They ignore me.

This is going to be a long and painful road. I don't know how many profiles I've scraped (pushing 200 now), but I've gotten to a conversation a grand total of 4 or 5 times, and those never go any where - except the one I told she was beautiful on the inside, now she doesn't talk to me.

Fun!

Your are beautiful in the inside and the outside. BOOM! I'm only guessing but I bet you could still save lives while guarding them.

Online dating might work for some, and for others it might not. Panty hose might work for some and for others it might not. ( mostly if your legs are hairy) ..

God Bless you all..

 

[ServantStrike]

Your are beautiful in the inside and the outside. BOOM! I'm only guessing but I bet you could still save lives while guarding them.

Online dating might work for some, and for others it might not. Panty hose might work for some and for others it might not. ( mostly if your legs are hairy) ..

God Bless you all..

Actually, my exact words were - you're more beautiful on the inside than you are on the outside, and that's saying something.


She was talking about her church... and like... really into it. Sigh, I guess I'm bad at this type of thing.

 

[Toffle]

Actually, my exact words were - you're more beautiful on the inside than you are on the outside, and that's saying something.


She was talking about her church... and like... really into it. Sigh, I guess I'm bad at this type of thing.

Nonsense. .. Good talk.

 

[Desdichado]

It would seem to me that the number of Christian women seeking a mate online is disproportionately higher. Christian women are not at all hard to find online. At least not in my experience.

A lot of good it's done me.

 

[PoetMary]

So, years and years ago...in the late 90s actually, when eharmony first started (and was exclusively Christian, btw) I filled out a profile for eharmony and received the message, "We have no matches for you." Haha!

I've done the online dating websites, so I know about it from the female end of things. My youngest brother has done some online dating as well, so I've heard his side of it. Here's what I've gathered. People totally misrepresent what they are seeking.

Some of those people are flat-out lying. They say they want a "long-term relationship," but in their heads that means "we hook up more than once." Or they say they're open to all Christians, but then find out you're part of a denomination they believe to be inferior.

Some people put answers down but they haven't really examined themselves and what they are seeking. I've noticed a significant number of people approach online dating sites as a place to "market" themselves. They'll use a lot of buzzwords and soft language because that gains the interest of a larger group of people, but they don't examine what these words really mean or if they are reflective of their values. So then you end up with a lot of situations where people get a ton of responses (which might seem flattering), but they have no intention of genuinely investigating them.

In other words, all the messiness that people might associate with dating offline (people-pleasing, misrepresenting, rejection over superficial things, etc.) is simply magnified in an online dating setting. Instead of randomly coming across one or two people who wouldn't date you because you're too ___ or don't have enough ___, you'll encounter hundreds of people like that online.

So, the moral of the story re: online dating is "gird your loins."

 

[Olerica]

Preference? if it was about shopping for something as little as a pair of jeans then a christian has the right to prefer shopping either online or in the stores, but when it comes to finding a true christian partner who is hard to find then it is naive and unwise to say " its a matter of choice" the fact is that when a christian decides that he/she wants to get married in the future then that Christian has stated that he/she has a preference for getting married and therefore, where that christian gets his/her Christian partner from should not necessarily be a matter of choice because at the end of the day what that christian is searching for is a true christian partner. and true christian partners can be found online. so why should a christian say "i don't prefer online dating" when what that christian wants is online? for example its like you saying "i don't prefer using my ATM card , instead i prefer queuing at the teller" why queue at the teller when you can easily get what you want from the ATM? also note that many Christian girls i have spoken to have complained that they are finding it difficult to find a Christian partner because the men in their church are few and they are not in the same age range as them. that's why i am encouraging Christians to go online.

Um. Dude? Slow your roll.

I HAVE tried online Christian dating. THREE sites, in fact. I have a profile still up on one... so I'm sure I'm doing something really wrong, because I am not dating, nor attracting the quality man with whom I would like to spend time. It might simply be the fact that I live where I do (fairly remotely), or I am a widow (which seems to scare some men), or... who knows why.

So, Honey, don't presume you know what's going on in a person's life. You asked why single Christians aren't using online tools, and posed some suggestions as to why. I just posed that the reason why people don't online date is that they don't like online dating... or perhaps they are intimidated by the process, or perhaps they don't have the cash to pony up for a dating site, or they don't know how to present themselves in an appealing manner... or they HAVE tried and don't attract attention and insecurity has arisen. WHO KNOWS why people don't do what might be beneficial from YOUR viewpoint. It's their life and not yours, right?

 

[ServantStrike]

It would seem to me that the number of Christian women seeking a mate online is disproportionately higher. Christian women are not at all hard to find online. At least not in my experience.

A lot of good it's done me.

Ah, but will they let you talk to them for more than two minutes. Even online, the answer is no without a lot of crawling over broken glass. I'll get back to you if I find out that's worth it. The answer is yes, occasionally you get to talk to one, but you've got to spend a lot of time to do so (hey, maybe it pays off, who knows).

Lets see, the top couple of things I see Christian women looking for on online dating sites:
- A man who's a Christian (a lot of us check that box)
- A man who has a ministry (really now, doesn't every Christian witness from time to time in some fashion or another)
- A man who has a job (and really, as a man, do we even bother dating if we have nothing to offer)
- A man who's honest (again, isn't that covered by being a Christian)
- A man who can grow them in their faith (again, isn't that our job)
- Romance (again, don't they think that God might not be able to teach us a little something about love)


On one popular online dating site, I have a 1 response to 25 attempts ratio. 50 percent of all responses are one sentence emails saying "I don't think you're what I'm looking for." The irony of this is not lost on me - I check all the boxes they supposedly are looking for. And I'm not being picky, my search radius is any woman within a 100 mile radius between the ages of 20 and 36 (I want children or I'd go higher).

If I didn't know any better, I'd say abstinent single Christian men with decent jobs don't stand a fighting chance of talking to a single Christian lady. This may explain why most of the men I see in the pews at church are what I'd term as... neutered. The fight is just knocked right out of them.

You either go insane, you get bitter, or you stop trying. Count me in the first category.

My advice is to do whatever you've got to do to try and find someone now. The odds get worse the older you get.

Hey, maybe I should pretend I'm at work and do a KPI report about online dating! I'll throw some pretty graphs and charts in there and then maybe women will talk to me. All the ladies really want is a man who can chart!

 

[Godson13]

Maybe I'll meet a nice Christian teller.

I think you made a good point in this post, only the analogy is poor.

Its a good analogy, you are just not that smart to get it....

 

[hoss2576]

Its a good analogy, you are just not that smart to get it....

Insulting people lowers the value of any argument you offer.

 

[Godson13]

Um. Dude? Slow your roll.

I HAVE tried online Christian dating. THREE sites, in fact. I have a profile still up on one... so I'm sure I'm doing something really wrong, because I am not dating, nor attracting the quality man with whom I would like to spend time. It might simply be the fact that I live where I do (fairly remotely), or I am a widow (which seems to scare some men), or... who knows why.

So, Honey, don't presume you know what's going on in a person's life. You asked why single Christians aren't using online tools, and posed some suggestions as to why. I just posed that the reason why people don't online date is that they don't like online dating... or perhaps they are intimidated by the process, or perhaps they don't have the cash to pony up for a dating site, or they don't know how to present themselves in an appealing manner... or they HAVE tried and don't attract attention and insecurity has arisen. WHO KNOWS why people don't do what might be beneficial from YOUR viewpoint. It's their life and not yours, right?

[FONT=&quot]If you are not attracting the quality of man you like then it is probably not because the quality of man you like is not on that site. It is probably due to your profile description. i don't mean to be judgmental but I suspect that your profile description goes like this “ hi guys, i am a fun, bubbly and outgoing woman, i have a pet cat called kitty, i like cheese on toast...lol, i like adventure, i like to have fun and i attend my local church" of course if your profile description is like this then you may not attract a true christian. Why not say something like this in your profile description “ i am a devoted christian woman with strong moral values and i am seeking a devoted christian man with strong Christan values to possibly start a family that is founded on christian values with, i take my christian faith very seriously and i will consider having a relationship with a man only if he has the same high level of moral and christian vales as me” why not say something like this on your profile and see if true christian men will not contact you, i am sure they will. A strong profile description like this will also chase away time wasters and false Christians because they will know that you are the strict and intelligent type that cannot be deceived. True christian men will not be scared of a widow because it is not a sin to marry a widow. [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]"It's their life and not yours, right?"..........aren't we Christians? aren't we supposed to help and guide each other? I am only trying to help my fellow Christians in finding true christian partners. Remember one of the greatest commandments which is love your neighbor as your self.[/FONT]