Why are you single?

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I

IFOLLOWHIM

Guest
Who can say
where the road goes
where the day flows
only time


And who can say
if your love grows
as your heart chose
only time


Who can say
why your heart sighs
as your love flies
only time


And who can say
why your heart cries
when your love lies
only time


Who can say
when the roads meet
that love might be
in your heart


And who can say
when the day sleeps
if the night keeps
all your heart..


(Enya - Only Time)


Love Enya and this song especially! Ty
 
I

IFOLLOWHIM

Guest
Why I'm single?
It is now MY choice.
I had 3 bad marriages and waited 14 yrs.to get back in the water.
I still found the same type men so I chose to stay single.....

What fun it is. Go where I want ,do what I want or dont,study pray,sleep at my choosing.
I'm still giving to my family and friends but I'm so loving this season of self.

I'm complete in Jesus!
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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1/10 is a sizable portion, I would expect that to be quite less...I hardly ever see men at libraries working.

Personally I am huge fan of the library and children. I don't think I'd want to be a librarian although I have considered it. It's the "being quiet" part that is hard. I can keep noise to a minimum when I'm there, and I usually only go there to work/learning

I advocate libraries though for sure, and haven't ever had anyone take me up on the advice to go when they mention a resource need, or even free events (we have a Zoo atlanta program here). At least people seem interested in the Zoo ticket program, but something as simple as just checking availability every day and driving there for close to a $100 value once a year is too much.

we have mobile libraries. I think men have this idea that libraries all have to be quiet spaces but actually there are many jobs in the library that need male input. Books are heavy for one thing...theres the IT aspect of it, and doing all the deliveries with vans and trucks, and looking after the mechanical side of it. Us women valued our male colleagues because they were rarer but had different skillsets.

I now have another job and a male boss this time working in a bookshop but still its like 10 percent men and 90 percent women lol. 2 males and 7 women..?

in my gardening job at first was the only female in a team of five...it was a bit of a relief to have another female workmate. Oh the tales I could tell...male chauvinism is alive and well lol.

I'd be down to learn the system well enough to be a filler person 1-2 times a month as a volunteer to help with call outs.
Otherwise, I'd just continue to use it as a resource.

Unfortunately, where I am right now, it's not too terribly close. A solid 15 minute drive :(
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
17,211
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in reply to @Mii
we have mobile libraries. I think men have this idea that libraries all have to be quiet spaces but actually there are many jobs in the library that need male input. Books are heavy for one thing...theres the IT aspect of it, and doing all the deliveries with vans and trucks, and looking after the mechanical side of it. Us women valued our male colleagues because they were rarer but had different skillsets. ive worked with both female and male bosses. some have been great and others have been awful, no matter what their gender.

I now have another job and a male boss this time working in a bookshop but still its like 10 percent men and 90 percent women lol. 2 males and 7 females..? and the boss is living with his partner who also works with us (shes his partner, not sure they are actually married, but they may as well be...) its funny to call grown men and women 'boyfriend and girlfriend!'

in my gardening job at first was the only female in a team of five...it was a bit of a relief to have another female workmate. Oh the tales I could tell...male chauvinism is alive and well lol. that was the job in which my first day I was asked by one guy 'why are you single' ...he was so nosy lol
 

Belka

Junior Member
Aug 24, 2017
225
230
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I'm single cause I only got saved 2 1/2 years ago and never even considered marriage before that. I was a commitment phobic and still not sure if I'm actually ready for marriage (I do want to get married but the thought freaks me out from time to time because of the gravity of the matter). So I think the Lord is working on me and preparing me for that big commitment. Also, right now, there are no prospects in view anyway. So it all works out perfectly lol.
 

Princesse

Active member
Feb 16, 2020
259
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I'm single cause I only got saved 2 1/2 years ago and never even considered marriage before that. I was a commitment phobic and still not sure if I'm actually ready for marriage (I do want to get married but the thought freaks me out from time to time because of the gravity of the matter). So I think the Lord is working on me and preparing me for that big commitment. Also, right now, there are no prospects in view anyway. So it all works out perfectly lol.
I know the feeling and I felt the same myself. It was always a possibility but not something I actively pursued. But I finally met my match and knew I’d never be the same. We decided not to move forward in spite of the attraction. My close friend insisted we weren’t done. I disagreed of course. ;)

Then I found my way back to God and saw myself pleading on his behalf to the Lord. Two years later I arrived unexpectedly and he received me with open arms and a different heart. Yes, she was right! It took him a week to admit his interest and we spent many years in the other’s company. I ministered to him and shared my light unselfishly.

Even though I knew I would never benefit directly for my actions. The Holy Spirit led me to Ruth and the Hebrew word that explained my burden. Chesed. It means lovingkindness. I forsook my heart in deference to his freedom. I loved his soul more than I can explain. We’ve known each other for 14 years. Leaving him behind was not an option. I went back and drew inspiration from Jude 1:23.

Oddly enough, I’m content. I think that’s why I don’t fret about meeting someone. Because I found what I sought. And the likelihood of finding a partner with the identical measure of attractiveness, intelligence, leadership and passion for the betterment of men is nearly impossible. We were equally matched and his breadth blew me away.
Suffice to say I get it and I think it’s wise to take your time. I devoted my energy to knowing the Lord and developing my prayer muscles. By the time we reconnected I was ready for the warfare that would ensue. I was praying all along but it amplified immensely.

I think cultivating your relationship with God is a must. Knowing His will and how to hear from Him is the difference between apathy and peace. But you needn’t be unfruitful while you wait. Pray for your future spouse. You never know what he’s going through and how your prayers will make a difference.

Sharon Jaynes has a great book. The title is Praying for Your Husband from Head to Toe. And there’s Stormie Omartian, Andrew Case, and Germaine Copeland. I’ve done my share and fasted too! This prepares you for the spiritual rigors and strengthens your intercession. I used to spend hours every day and the Lord had to alter my process. By the time I reached myself I was tuckered out and had enough energy for one sentence and a closing. I was doing Lectio Divina too. It was a great time.

Allow the Lord to build your house (Psalm 127) and you won’t go wrong. I have every confidence that what He’s begun He’ll complete in both of us. :)
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
17,211
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I dont do the 'pray for my future spouse' thing. some people do this before they even are engaged! Are they just sitting round waiting for someone?

I think there are way more important issues to pray about right now.
 
Feb 19, 2020
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Because it's so much fun and drama free, and I'm too busy getting my life together than having to worry about drama right now
 

lookingup

Junior Member
Dec 30, 2014
10
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Hello All,

In thinking about meeting different people, I sometimes wonder why they are single. I find it to be an interesting question when it’s asked of me and I do think there is value in trying to answer that question.

So WHY are YOU single?

Is it because of circumstances, past relationships, lack of interest, is it a choice?

There are endless possibilities. If you had to determine why you are in this season of your life, what do you think the answer would be? Do you think your answer is different now than if you had answered when you were younger?

Being single often times becomes this all consuming label that people take on or have placed on them. It doesn’t have to be that way.

For our married friends, you can join in answering, why are you married beyond meeting THE one?
Good question! A self-reflective type of question. I never had a 'being single' problem until I moved to America by the way. That lonly separated, stigma of having something wrong, if you are single or being 'dumb' without anyone actually saying that. Lonliness, I've been 'single' for 20 years and never felt 'alone" until I moved to the US. Why is that? Well, where I was, it did not seem that anyone cared if you were 'single' or not. Families invited me to join in their adventures, to dinner etc. and singles too!

There is not one that I can't answer if I really think about it. Let me run the course:
1) no one is interested?
2) In church, it seems that it is frowned upon for the single men to talk to the single women. The men do NOT talk to the women.
3) My church (a rather large and popular one) will not allow a singles group. Why is that? I feel as though I am discriminated against. At least as an adult, we know how to behave and if someone misses up, then it is on their own heads. Is the church's reason for temptation? They feel responsible for putting adults in that position. I am talking mature adults here, not high schoolers.
4) I find it difficult in the USA to meet anyone, actually to have fellowship outside of the church events, bible studies (and they have to be all female bible studies, not mixed). At work, Human Resources actually got 200 employees together to tell them not to associate with co-workers outside of work and at lunch, like don't go out together, because they (the company) does not want a sexual harrassment lawsuit. So that keeps the women separated from the men and vice versa.
5). I'm ugly? Too old? Poor? Not wealthy or self-supported enough? Don't already have my own home?
or
6) The Father justs wants me alone? That does not make sense because He created Eve for Adam so Adam would NOT be alone.

It is not my choice but although I have tried it is not happening.
God Bless
 
Jun 12, 2020
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Hello All,

In thinking about meeting different people, I sometimes wonder why they are single. I find it to be an interesting question when it’s asked of me and I do think there is value in trying to answer that question.

So WHY are YOU single?

Is it because of circumstances, past relationships, lack of interest, is it a choice?

There are endless possibilities. If you had to determine why you are in this season of your life, what do you think the answer would be? Do you think your answer is different now than if you had answered when you were younger?

Being single often times becomes this all consuming label that people take on or have placed on them. It doesn’t have to be that way.

For our married friends, you can join in answering, why are you married beyond meeting THE one?
I always considered myself a single person in a married person's body so I had to resolve it by getting married, it just took forever.
Part of my long wait could be due to past sin, it's hard to tell because we all sin.
Part of my long singleness could have been starting to look when I was already 24.
It also could be that God had someone in mind the whole time.

Why am I married beyond meeting the one? Good question. I don't believe there is just one person out there like a soulmate. I don't think the Bible teaches that (I am not saying that you were). An imperfect answer I can give you is that it was in God's time and he had to prepare me in a long time of singleness. I was not a lot different when I got married than ten or twenty years earlier. I wanted to commit to someone, it just was my time five years ago.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
17,211
5,797
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with the commitment thing maybe its a bit true that many singles dont like commitment because its binding and no way out, once you are in, you are all in. But then on the other hand think of it from a singles point of view isnt being single also a from of commitment in being true to yourself and God, and marrying anyone else would just break THAT commitment.

so it works both ways. Not all singles are flighty and cant really decide on anything which is kind of a stereotype people use and say 'oh he or she is a commitment-phobe'
 
May 18, 2020
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Sorry to hear this. This is horrible news. How long has it been since he left?


The beginning of March. I was pretty blindsided and then being quarantined alone didn't help, but I used the time to strengthen my faith and work on myself. It's still a process but I'm in so much of a better place than I was!
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
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The beginning of March. I was pretty blindsided and then being quarantined alone didn't help, but I used the time to strengthen my faith and work on myself. It's still a process but I'm in so much of a better place than I was!


Stray strong S-Creative. You can do this. I will share a video that got me through some difficulty, hope it helps.