This can potentially start another debate. But should physical attraction matter? God judges the heart so when it comes to relationships shouldn't they be based on that and chemistry?
Physical attraction from chemistry comes in its most intense form when there is physical attraction (from good looks and how a person carries themselves) prior to any conversation happening, providing the conversation is even a little stimulating. For instance, when two people see one another and think ''wow that person is very attractive'' it usually not only leads to a conversation where both parties are more actively involved and willing to conversate, but it augments and intensifies any romantic/conversational/emotional chemistry that comes to be.
It's quite easy for two people who see each other and are attracted on a purely physical level, to create
more physical attraction and chemistry when they eventually do interact. However, relationships can't really exist well on pure physical attraction where there is not much emotional/psychological/conversational connectivity.
An example -- I met a woman about eight months ago and had passing conversations with her -- I loved her smile, her relaxed demeanor, how she carried herself, and found her pretty. I know she felt similarly. Her and I had conversations together and ended up forming a relationship. About two months ago I had realized that she was closed off somewhat, not very attentive, not very affectionate. I found myself feeling unsatisfied and eventually I started to believe I just wasn't good enough in her eyes to warrant her affections. I broke it off, and she didn't resist. IN fact she said ''I think we'd be better as friends''.
Currently, she has met a man who by my reckoning is more purely physically attractive than I am, who seems more confident, more cultured, who is more well off than I am and whom she smiles and blushes a lot around. She gives him a lot of her time and attention and they now have a thing. She has told me in the past ''I'm just not the affectionate type who has a lot to say'', but she
is that type of person
with him.
They have better chemistry than her and I did, and I won't say it's purely from physical attraction, but her level of physical attraction to him (''Oh that man is good-looking'',
that type of attraction) is obviously superior to the level of physical attraction she had to me, and I think that makes it a lot easier for the both of them to have superior chemistry and conversation.
Obviously these things (pure physical attraction) aren't the be all and end all, but it's definitely a lot easier for chemistry to flourish when there is intense physical attraction to begin with, than it is for a relatively less attractive man to have chemistry with a woman.
That kind of thing is obviously difficult for a lot of men to accept in various ways, or at least it is for me -- I know some other men for whom it is difficult too. It bruises the ego, there's a certain kind of demotivation that comes with it, and as always when you have feelings for a woman and you come to realize that your are inferior to someone else in her eyes, there's a personal hurt there, a very violent punch in the testes, metaphorically. It's heartbreaking, and it makes me feel like, at least in a woman's eyes, I am a checklist who will always be compared, like a tally-system, to what other men have when stacked up against what I have.
I feel like the power of veto most often sits in the woman's lap, and as society accepts the commercialization of both men and women more and more, this kind of thing happens more and more. A man is what a woman sees as potentiality, providing he meets her expectations when compared with an idealism of ''what my perfect man is''.
The more we are commercialized, the harder it is to form genuine romantic relationships.
Just to end, I believe this doesn't just happen to men, women feel the effects of this culture shift too -- women generally, simple have more power usually to ''accept'' or ''reject'' the man, since men are most often expected to be the initiators and the responsible, culpable party in relationship scenarios. Hence why I no longer feel relationships can provide me with any substantial amount of romantic, emotional, or psychosexual satisfaction. I don't feel like investing my time and energy into women is positively rewarding anymore. On the contrary, it has come to be emotionally and physically exhausting.