If this is true, I can't tell you how much it hurts,
but it may explain some things about trying to love God.
He puts people, especially women, all around.
He makes them attractive in so many ways, and each one different.....personality types, different level of humor,
intelligence, heart/passion/compassion,
and yes, looks are a part, remembering that beauty
is in the eye of the beholder, but being fair,
if you see two fields, and one has flowers, birds,
colors, and smells nice, etc.,
and the other field has trash and flies and rats,
and smells like dog crap,
you're likely to be initally attracted to the first field, right?
(Of course, some ppl might like the second one, I'm not judging),
Anyway, God puts or allows you to have desire
to be with someone, so much so that the loneliness
is almost tangible, and it's debilitating, and then you see
in so many ways, ppl having that fulfilled, in person,
on tv, in magazines and movies, not necessarily
always finding total fulfillMENT, but at least
getting to experience someone, or two,
or however many relationships we keep reading about
ppl having, and you see this beauty everywhere,
and have this deep desire within, and you go all your life
wanting to know what it's like, Really like, to find true love,
only to be told God just wants some ppl to be single!
The ultimate knife to the heart of the foolishly hopeful?
And the longer that goes on, the more despondent and sad
one can become, to the point that if it was actually to finally
come knocking on the door, you wouldn't know or believe it
without a major act of God to verify it, if it's not already too late.
Is it any wonder, then, that drugs, alcohol, porn, etc.,
are billion dollar industries? And we know, it's a
'God-shaped hole in our heart that only He can fill',
and ultimately that's true.....but still the heart yearns,
and that advice usually seems to come from ppl
that have or have had someone in their life,
and aren't desperately lonely or else feeling
some great calling on their life...single or not.
And I guess some caring soul will be happy to point out
what an ungrateful sinner I am for not saying 'thank you',
and how other ppl have it worse, so you're not even allowed
to mention that maybe you struggle a little ..... ,
but hearing that God wants some ppl to be single
their whole life doesn't inspire a 'thanks'
as much as it does an 'ouch!'
And I wonder why 'social media sites' are so popular,
even among single christians. Are we just being rebellious
to God's stamp of 'Single and Alone and
that's how I want you so get the thoughts of that
ever changing out of your heart and head?'
I wonder, Where is the love? But, I'm sure it won't be long
before I'm regretting writing this post and even
having these thoughts and I probably need to repent already.
I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't read some of these
'Single, and why' threads and stick to 'bible bouts'.
Or, I probably shouldn't be here, trying to
be in with the 'in-crowd', at all.
Father, forgive me, I know you expect better of me.
Please help me overcome being single and alone.
Or at least help me know what my purpose is,
please help me find someone that's willing to pray
for and with me, and maybe be more.
Please, if it be your will, restore to me the
joy of your salvation, and the one to share with?
In Jesus' name. Amen.