Why does God keep some adults single?

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C

coby

Guest
#21
Maybe the reason is that the person isn't saved yet. There's one formerly single mom on Facebook who recently married. He got saved and also set free from drugs and everything 3 years ago or so. We'd better focus on getting the harvest in.
 
J

JeniBean

Guest
#22
Dates? Plural? I don't know what a date is, really. (Shy's too shy of a word for me, lol)
I may have had dinner with someone like thirty years ago, but I don't know if that constitutes a date. And it seems like these days you can't even look at a woman in public, let alone approach one, or they're ready with the pepper spray, and church isn't the 'appropriate place' to be thinking 'those things', you're always reminded that you're supposed to be God-focused, and so I feel like who the bible describes as having 'eyes full of adultery that can't cease from sin' and Jesus says if you look at a woman with desire you've committed sin, so I'm a little perplexed why He made so many so beautifully desirable, but I guess if it's His will it's His will, so I wait til now I'm too old and not wanted. What was a christian guy supposed to do? Being alone stinks, it makes this whole existence rather pointless. I thought joining a christian social media site would help bring friendship in a closer way and change some of that, but at times it makes it worse by emphasizing the isolation, there are so many threads about this, and I see so many young, happy ppl, I don't get their being single. To answer the OP, I don't know if it's God's fault, it's just a sign of the times, I guess, but I can't understand why so many young, good-looking, desirable ppl have this complaint. I see why I'm unwanted, but for most ppl out there, it doesn't make sense to me. Just go for friendship while you're young and don't abandon in times of struggle or weakness, be quick to forgive and love like you mean it, it's not a game and being old and lonely really hurts.
Well, I will answer your first question. Dates? YES as in Plural? Yes as in at least once a week. To answer the question crossing your mind, I am asked out or set up as every one insists I shouldn't be alone. So hey Maybe one of them is who God wants me to meet. Never know. Also dates often form to friendships. I prefer male friends, they tend to get me much better than woman. NOW....lets discuss a few things you mentioned. First I often have learned that the younger generation complain especially via social media sites simply to see what others think and help them realize that they really have it quite well. Also many are single as they are full of self interest. This tends to make relationships difficult. There is no give and take or proper communication skills. NOW - Why are you unwanted, because you're shy? Certainly not!!!! As a Christian guy there are many woman out there who would love you to approach them and ask them out for coffee or a smoothie. I push my male christian friends all the time or half the time I do it with them standing there as they fear the rejection. Without trying how would you know? You are to be God-Focused in church, however as you are having a coffee or walking in the parking lot strike a conversation about the sermon...if the conversation goes well simply ask if they would like to get coffee some time. If the answer is yes, exchange numbers. NO being alone isn't easy, however I truly believe you can change it, if you really want to. You come across well on screen...so do it in person and impress a nice woman. Good Luck and remember you have value and God has great things for you!
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#23
Connection or mutual attraction is very rare on people who meet or go on dates. When magic or the spark is there, usually the situation is complicated. Life is so unfair thats why many are single. Yesterday I thought I finally met the guy I'm going to marry but guess what, he is married. Isnt it ironic?
 
R

Rose1

Guest
#25
Thank you for response yes I wanted to see how others deal with singleness. No I'm not young and superficial. I guess I just need to step out of my quiet comfort zone.
 
R

Rose1

Guest
#26
Your right nb, I worded my question right.
 
S

sydlit

Guest
#28
Dear JeniBean, I didn't requote to save space,
but thx for replying to my post in depth and sincerity.
No reason that you would notice it,
but very few ppl do that, so really, thank you.

I hope I didn't come across wrong when I said Dates? Plural?
That wasn't at all meant to be a disparaging remark, I was
pointing out the contrast of me having basically never
been on a date. And it's very unlikely now that I ever will.

I think if I ever was in a position to ask a stranger in a
parking lot if they wanted a 'smoothie' I'd probably get
slapped or peppered. At the very least, I'm sure the
laughter would be rather humiliating, much like the
treatment I get on a frequent basis from some
popular but nasty narcs on here.

Nah, I can shrug off the nameless faceless ones here
who seem to thrive on ridicule, but I don't need the
face to face rejection at this point in my life.
Sadly, times have changed, so I'll just have to be content
with things as they are, but if the Lord places in someone's heart
to honestly want to be with me, with all my bumps,
bruises and scars, and not play games...I'm right here.
But I don't seem to have what women want,
so I probably shouldn't get my hopes up.
God bless you, Jeni.
 
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
252
0
#30
Thank you for response yes I wanted to see how others deal with singleness. No I'm not young and superficial. I guess I just need to step out of my quiet comfort zone.
Quiet comfort zones are good places. Don't give that up just for the sake of being with someone. God has what's best for you whatever that may be. Rest easy, and welcome to CC. :)
 
S

sydlit

Guest
#31
Sometimes He does because He just wants to
If this is true, I can't tell you how much it hurts,
but it may explain some things about trying to love God.
He puts people, especially women, all around.
He makes them attractive in so many ways, and each one different.....personality types, different level of humor,
intelligence, heart/passion/compassion,
and yes, looks are a part, remembering that beauty
is in the eye of the beholder, but being fair,
if you see two fields, and one has flowers, birds,
colors, and smells nice, etc.,
and the other field has trash and flies and rats,
and smells like dog crap,
you're likely to be initally attracted to the first field, right?
(Of course, some ppl might like the second one, I'm not judging),

Anyway, God puts or allows you to have desire
to be with someone, so much so that the loneliness
is almost tangible, and it's debilitating, and then you see
in so many ways, ppl having that fulfilled, in person,
on tv, in magazines and movies, not necessarily
always finding total fulfillMENT, but at least
getting to experience someone, or two,
or however many relationships we keep reading about
ppl having, and you see this beauty everywhere,
and have this deep desire within, and you go all your life
wanting to know what it's like, Really like, to find true love,
only to be told God just wants some ppl to be single!

The ultimate knife to the heart of the foolishly hopeful?
And the longer that goes on, the more despondent and sad
one can become, to the point that if it was actually to finally
come knocking on the door, you wouldn't know or believe it
without a major act of God to verify it, if it's not already too late.

Is it any wonder, then, that drugs, alcohol, porn, etc.,
are billion dollar industries? And we know, it's a
'God-shaped hole in our heart that only He can fill',
and ultimately that's true.....but still the heart yearns,
and that advice usually seems to come from ppl
that have or have had someone in their life,
and aren't desperately lonely or else feeling
some great calling on their life...single or not.

And I guess some caring soul will be happy to point out
what an ungrateful sinner I am for not saying 'thank you',
and how other ppl have it worse, so you're not even allowed
to mention that maybe you struggle a little ..... ,
but hearing that God wants some ppl to be single
their whole life doesn't inspire a 'thanks'
as much as it does an 'ouch!'

And I wonder why 'social media sites' are so popular,
even among single christians. Are we just being rebellious
to God's stamp of 'Single and Alone and
that's how I want you so get the thoughts of that
ever changing out of your heart and head?'
I wonder, Where is the love? But, I'm sure it won't be long
before I'm regretting writing this post and even
having these thoughts and I probably need to repent already.
I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't read some of these
'Single, and why' threads and stick to 'bible bouts'.
Or, I probably shouldn't be here, trying to
be in with the 'in-crowd', at all.:(:confused:
Father, forgive me, I know you expect better of me.
Please help me overcome being single and alone.
Or at least help me know what my purpose is,
please help me find someone that's willing to pray
for and with me, and maybe be more.
Please, if it be your will, restore to me the
joy of your salvation, and the one to share with?
In Jesus' name. Amen.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,571
17,039
113
69
Tennessee
#32
I don't believe God keeps adults single. You can pray about this if you want a relationship but when or if the opportunity arises you must act decisively. You can't just keep saying that you are waiting on God's timing. A lot of guys look towards the inside of the woman's heart. Yes, only God knows. Be ready. Welcome to CC.
 
C

coby

Guest
#33
If this is true, I can't tell you how much it hurts,
but it may explain some things about trying to love God.
He puts people, especially women, all around.
He makes them attractive in so many ways, and each one different.....personality types, different level of humor,
intelligence, heart/passion/compassion,
and yes, looks are a part, remembering that beauty
is in the eye of the beholder, but being fair,
if you see two fields, and one has flowers, birds,
colors, and smells nice, etc.,
and the other field has trash and flies and rats,
and smells like dog crap,
you're likely to be initally attracted to the first field, right?
(Of course, some ppl might like the second one, I'm not judging),

Anyway, God puts or allows you to have desire
to be with someone, so much so that the loneliness
is almost tangible, and it's debilitating, and then you see
in so many ways, ppl having that fulfilled, in person,
on tv, in magazines and movies, not necessarily
always finding total fulfillMENT, but at least
getting to experience someone, or two,
or however many relationships we keep reading about
ppl having, and you see this beauty everywhere,
and have this deep desire within, and you go all your life
wanting to know what it's like, Really like, to find true love,
only to be told God just wants some ppl to be single!

The ultimate knife to the heart of the foolishly hopeful?
And the longer that goes on, the more despondent and sad
one can become, to the point that if it was actually to finally
come knocking on the door, you wouldn't know or believe it
without a major act of God to verify it, if it's not already too late.

Is it any wonder, then, that drugs, alcohol, porn, etc.,
are billion dollar industries? And we know, it's a
'God-shaped hole in our heart that only He can fill',
and ultimately that's true.....but still the heart yearns,
and that advice usually seems to come from ppl
that have or have had someone in their life,
and aren't desperately lonely or else feeling
some great calling on their life...single or not.

And I guess some caring soul will be happy to point out
what an ungrateful sinner I am for not saying 'thank you',
and how other ppl have it worse, so you're not even allowed
to mention that maybe you struggle a little ..... ,
but hearing that God wants some ppl to be single
their whole life doesn't inspire a 'thanks'
as much as it does an 'ouch!'

And I wonder why 'social media sites' are so popular,
even among single christians. Are we just being rebellious
to God's stamp of 'Single and Alone and
that's how I want you so get the thoughts of that
ever changing out of your heart and head?'
I wonder, Where is the love? But, I'm sure it won't be long
before I'm regretting writing this post and even
having these thoughts and I probably need to repent already.
I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't read some of these
'Single, and why' threads and stick to 'bible bouts'.
Or, I probably shouldn't be here, trying to
be in with the 'in-crowd', at all.:(:confused:
Father, forgive me, I know you expect better of me.
Please help me overcome being single and alone.
Or at least help me know what my purpose is,
please help me find someone that's willing to pray
for and with me, and maybe be more.
Please, if it be your will, restore to me the
joy of your salvation, and the one to share with?
In Jesus' name. Amen.
I think it's only in some cases and sometimes for a time and some simply get that gift like Paul had, Corrie ten Boom, but not many.
He gave me someone and we screwed it. That's also a reason. And I think maybe we don't even consider some people. Who wants a wife from a poor country? Most are after your money. Yet if you ask God He might tell you to do that. I know 2 men who did but God specifically said it.
 
H

Htby

Guest
#34
Thanks for all sharing about this topic. I have learnt about my life that God wants me to be.
I was in relationship. I prayed a lot and thought it is the destiny that God gave me. But I felt heartbroken when he gave up our relationship.
Maybe God wants me to be single and do something else for him. Sometimes I ask Him why im always loneliness in my life, but I forget that He created me. Can you please give me your advice how to be strong with our single life? I go to church, sing songs and pray on Sunday.
Thanks so much.
 
C

coby

Guest
#35
The more I think about it, I'm almost sure he's simply not saved yet. Why else would God say: not now? So he divorces in a few years or his wife dies or something and then I'm the lucky one? Eeeeww. Read it yesterday from a married woman on CC. She just prayed for her to be husband so he got saved and then she met him.
 
C

coby

Guest
#36
Some reasons for being single:
- not ready for a relationship, having a relationship above Him (that was when I was 18)
- person isn't saved yet and you're too selfish and lazy to pray for him, I think that is the case now for me
- high standards and no faith. Oh that one is nuts, I don't want that one. The lists on internet tell me to avoid those. Or oh that person has kids. Too much effort.
- Why I got married: my ex knew I had mild borderline traits and married me anyway, spent a fortune on counselling, always prayed for me. If he got mad at me during my period I would take the train, just ran off like an idiot and he could pick me up again. The first years of our marriage he couldn't even get normal sex. Physically impossible because I was abused as a kid.
 
C

coby

Guest
#37
We have a woman in Church. She had 5 mental diseases, bipolair and I can't remember the other ones plus she had morbid obesity. Would you go for someone like That If God told you that's the one?
She's single and God healed me and she saw The difference. She went to the psychiater, went there all her life, was on a lot of medication. Lol she's healed. He Said you're a Healthy woman. Doesn't need to come back, got her OWN business now and she looks great and thin. Within a Year she lost all those pounds.
 
C

coby

Guest
#38
We should ask married people Why they had to wait. There's a lot who simply had to wait because He wasn't saved and on drugs and a womanizer lol. Those are the best preachers now. Looking back, Why did I have to wait when I was 18? It was an idol for me, I was not ready and he wasn't even saved and much older and living together with someone who wasn't saved either.
 
J

jeremyPJ

Guest
#39
I don't think God keeps people single, but I could obviously be wrong.

i think the positions we are put in during life, combined with the decisions we make during life may be a factor too. Maybe God keeps us single so we can be of special service to someone's life first. We may not even know what his plan is or how it is played out.

I think the positions we put ourselves into makes a difference, and sometimes we let the wrong people influence our lives. Maybe that is meant to happen. This is a question in prayer to the Lord. Not something to let weigh us down. Earlier in life I was as guilty of this as anyone.

Right now i'm mostly happy being single. Creating my life for me. But there is a growing yearning to have a suitable mate someday. :)
 
Feb 24, 2015
13,204
168
0
#40
I have been thinking about this: Why does God keep some adults single? I myself am single and in my thirties. I've read a few threads of people wanting a relationship and others who are in relatioships and not happy. Do guys just really look on the outside?I've been waiting and he hasn't come, will my turn ever come... Only God knows.
The answer is simple. God does not keep anyone anything, it is up to each individual to reach out, share, make contacts with others and take risks with love. If you cannot do this, it is not surprising if you never connect in the "right" way.

What live lacks is people who can connect but has an excess of unconnected people. I suggest the problem is learning how to connect and love from the heart. After that the rest is easy, lol