-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Tourist-
That's a beautiful story and I'm honored that you chose to share it with us. I'm very sorry for your loss
I could be wrong here, but I highly doubt Jim (iTORE) was in any way attacking you or your beliefs; rather, explaining his own.
That's a beautiful story and I'm honored that you chose to share it with us. I'm very sorry for your loss
I could be wrong here, but I highly doubt Jim (iTORE) was in any way attacking you or your beliefs; rather, explaining his own.
. Well, OK, You may have at it. I am sure that I have it coming. After you are finished I will just go to the Pain Management Clinic for a self-inflicted wound. It won't hurt a bit. Somebody told me that once but I doubt the validity of that statement.
Cristen and Jim--thank you both for having so much courage to post your story here for all of us to take to heart and pray over. I can't imagine what kind of raw strength it must take to do that, especially since Cristen always struck me as a very private person (due to protecting her feelings, which is more than understandable with everything she's shared from her past.) It's also a very good lesson for any of us who may be "dancing around flames" and trying to tell ourselves that we won't get burned. I've found myself in those kinds of situations more often than I'm willing to admit.
I also just wanted to tell you both that you are not the only ones--we have all stumbled in our own ways. We are not in any way above you or better than you--all of our sins are just as deserving of God's judgment as anyone else.
I had a very troubled marriage as well, and during that time I developed a crush on someone else, too, so I can relate to what both of you are saying. However, the person I liked never liked me back and I thank God for that now, though of course, at the time, it was utter turmoil. My husband and I were already going through consistently turbulent times and I felt completely alone, as he had found someone else as well. I don't know exactly when he fell for her or what the time frame was, but we had been living at opposite ends of the house for many months, and when I came home from work and found out he had cleared out his things from the house without telling me, I truly thought for many years (I still sometimes think this) that God was punishing me for crushing on someone else, even though it never materialized into anything. I also did not date for a year after my divorce was legally finalized (my husband filed and had the papers sent to me in the mail) but not because I didn't want to--it was just that God slammed every door and opportunity in my face--and for my own good, I'm sure now, but back then... Let's just say I had anger issues for a LONG time. Especially since my ex got to ride into the sunset with someone else and I was always alone, alone, alone. And I still am.
We're all human, and we all have very human thoughts and weaknesses. Even if we stumble and fall in different areas than others, the thing we have to remember is that we ALL fall at some point (some people slam those who are divorced or fall in love with someone divorced but yet sit and watch their on their home computer every night--it's truly amazing to me how they can feel the right to judge ANYONE), we all have to remember that it is our duty and privilege to lift each other up, pray for, forgive others/ask forgiveness over our owns sins, and ENCOURAGE our fellow Christians along the way. I admire your strength and courage beyond words!!!
May God bless your strength to put His will first and may we all have the strength to do that as well. Your story has reminded me how easy it is for me to "toe the line" with my own justifications... Thank you for reminding me that God's will and commands are absolute, not suggestions that I can push to the back of my mind when I find myself wanting to make up excuses for choosing the immediate, easy way instead of God's long-suffering, but eternally acceptable path.
I also just wanted to tell you both that you are not the only ones--we have all stumbled in our own ways. We are not in any way above you or better than you--all of our sins are just as deserving of God's judgment as anyone else.
I had a very troubled marriage as well, and during that time I developed a crush on someone else, too, so I can relate to what both of you are saying. However, the person I liked never liked me back and I thank God for that now, though of course, at the time, it was utter turmoil. My husband and I were already going through consistently turbulent times and I felt completely alone, as he had found someone else as well. I don't know exactly when he fell for her or what the time frame was, but we had been living at opposite ends of the house for many months, and when I came home from work and found out he had cleared out his things from the house without telling me, I truly thought for many years (I still sometimes think this) that God was punishing me for crushing on someone else, even though it never materialized into anything. I also did not date for a year after my divorce was legally finalized (my husband filed and had the papers sent to me in the mail) but not because I didn't want to--it was just that God slammed every door and opportunity in my face--and for my own good, I'm sure now, but back then... Let's just say I had anger issues for a LONG time. Especially since my ex got to ride into the sunset with someone else and I was always alone, alone, alone. And I still am.
We're all human, and we all have very human thoughts and weaknesses. Even if we stumble and fall in different areas than others, the thing we have to remember is that we ALL fall at some point (some people slam those who are divorced or fall in love with someone divorced but yet sit and watch their on their home computer every night--it's truly amazing to me how they can feel the right to judge ANYONE), we all have to remember that it is our duty and privilege to lift each other up, pray for, forgive others/ask forgiveness over our owns sins, and ENCOURAGE our fellow Christians along the way. I admire your strength and courage beyond words!!!
May God bless your strength to put His will first and may we all have the strength to do that as well. Your story has reminded me how easy it is for me to "toe the line" with my own justifications... Thank you for reminding me that God's will and commands are absolute, not suggestions that I can push to the back of my mind when I find myself wanting to make up excuses for choosing the immediate, easy way instead of God's long-suffering, but eternally acceptable path.
I
Sorry about everything Jim. I must have had a bad hair day or something less gruesome. Forgive me please. Actually, I think you are one cool customer and it is a pleasure to read your fascinating posts. To be fair about things I will allow you to say a few bad things about me with no repercussions. Now, please do not get carried away . Well, OK, You may have at it. I am sure that I have it coming. After you are finished I will just go to the Pain Management Clinic for a self-inflicted wound. It won't hurt a bit. Somebody told me that once but I doubt the validity of that statement.
. Well, OK, You may have at it. I am sure that I have it coming. After you are finished I will just go to the Pain Management Clinic for a self-inflicted wound. It won't hurt a bit. Somebody told me that once but I doubt the validity of that statement.
Unfortunately typing can look callous & cold at times,but if you had been here with me,the tone in my voice wasn't anger or sarcasm. Sorry if it came out that way. I have nothing bad to say about ya'..honest.
I
Thanks Kim. None of this has been easy on her or I,that's for certain. We made poor choices and while our intentions towards one another may have been out of love or a pure heart,our disregard for what God wanted was evident. We pretty much wanted what we wanted in our time frame,come hell or high water.
I hope if anything our story can serve as a warning to others. It's been a hard road in many ways for us both,but God is faithful to heal & restore us both as individuals.
I remember even having to say to God that if we weren't to even be friends,then so be it. How do you let your best friend go? Well,it's not so much letting go,but just submitting to doing what is right. By God..and by Cristen. To truly love someone with the love that God has also means not causing a stumbling block to them..having their best interest before your own.
I told Cristen this as well,and I'll share it with you all...
I don't regret loving her..I don't regret all the thing's I said. I meant every word. I regret that I didn't behave in the way that God would have wanted and I regret putting her above my relationship with God. I would never regret our friendship or knowing her or learning the wonderful things she taught me in her own special way.
We did a foolish thing that couldn't just be swept under the rug. We never would have been truly happy if we'd done that.
I hate that I always make so many references in my life to Star Wars & how in many ways I've felt or related to Anakin's turmoil that he had when he wanted to be with his love Padme'. At one point he even tells her that they can be secretly together..that no one has to know. At first she was strong & tells him that they can't live a lie..it would destroy them both. She eventually gives in,knowing it's wrong. Knowing that he's made her his idol...on his way to forsaking all the teachings of the Jedi,just because he is consumed so strongly by his desire of a life with her. In some ways I felt like I was slowly doing that,and if we'd both continued down that road..no matter how much we professed our undying love for one another...somewhere,at sometime it certainly would have destroyed us both.
I thank God He heals. I thank Him for His provision in both our lives,and I happily trust in Him to hold her & her children in His hands & guide her on the path that He has designed for her to manifest His glory on the earth in this lifetime.
All is well with my soul.
Nothing to forgive. I just wanted to clarify some of the situation for you (and anyone else that might have been curious)
Unfortunately typing can look callous & cold at times,but if you had been here with me,the tone in my voice wasn't anger or sarcasm. Sorry if it came out that way. I have nothing bad to say about ya'..honest.
Unfortunately typing can look callous & cold at times,but if you had been here with me,the tone in my voice wasn't anger or sarcasm. Sorry if it came out that way. I have nothing bad to say about ya'..honest.
Cris and Jim ...I love you both and appreciate the honesty you both put out there. I know it has to be horribly hard. It honestly breaks my heart for you both but of course that's just flesh because I know you're right about even though you love each other it isn't right.... blah I'm just babbling on ... I love you guys. .thanks for putting yourself out there to help us.
M
Pipp-
Don't be sad for us... I mean, yeah, it's kinda really painful (not his fault) and there are moments when I want to go back in time and pretend God isn't convicting us both. I've had a few crazy moments when I wanted to pick up the phone and read Jim the riot act and tell him I wasn't going to accept this decision...that we'd find a way to be together.
But!
When I'm not being an emotional basket case (which he has suffered through enough of very patiently but firmly), I know this is right, and better. We are both ok with this now. Happy about it? No, but I know at least for myself, giving up on this to be closer to God and allow Jim to be closer to God...I feel more at peace, more content, than I have in a while. It's a good thing- not easy, but good.
And I do hope and pray that our story may help somebody else; I felt like it needed to be shared, perhaps God will use it somehow.
By the way...thank you to everybody for being so kind to us about this. I'm not sure exactly the sort of reaction it would get (especially with the surprise of Jim popping in and letting everyone know I meant him), but if anything, I'd expected at least censure or...I don't know. Not love. Not like this.
You people rock.
This is how Christ-like love and forgiveness looks.
And now...I am dying for some chocolate.
Don't be sad for us... I mean, yeah, it's kinda really painful (not his fault) and there are moments when I want to go back in time and pretend God isn't convicting us both. I've had a few crazy moments when I wanted to pick up the phone and read Jim the riot act and tell him I wasn't going to accept this decision...that we'd find a way to be together.
But!
When I'm not being an emotional basket case (which he has suffered through enough of very patiently but firmly), I know this is right, and better. We are both ok with this now. Happy about it? No, but I know at least for myself, giving up on this to be closer to God and allow Jim to be closer to God...I feel more at peace, more content, than I have in a while. It's a good thing- not easy, but good.
And I do hope and pray that our story may help somebody else; I felt like it needed to be shared, perhaps God will use it somehow.
By the way...thank you to everybody for being so kind to us about this. I'm not sure exactly the sort of reaction it would get (especially with the surprise of Jim popping in and letting everyone know I meant him), but if anything, I'd expected at least censure or...I don't know. Not love. Not like this.
You people rock.
This is how Christ-like love and forgiveness looks.
And now...I am dying for some chocolate.
I
Yeah,I sort of wanna second what Cristen has said,but also add that her & I aren't heroes or exceptionally brave for putting it all out there for people to see about what we've had to deal with. Frankly,there were times when I felt so beyond fragile & weak I thought I might physically shut down & die. Cristen is far too kind in making me seem to have been less of an emotional basket case. If that's how it appeared at times,maybe so...but none of it was easy or fun.
Our sin & chasing after things that we had no business chasing after just shows how simplistically human & flawed we are w/out Christ at the center of what we were doing.
With all of that said,I do thank those of you who have showed concern. Prayed for each of us. Shared your wisdom & compassion here as well as privately to her & I.
Even as messed up as we behaved,God still chooses to extend his Mercy & Love to us,and one of those ways is through our brothers & sisters in Christ. YOU here in CC.
My prayer obviously is that no one else follow down such a path. It's far better to just do what you know God has told you to do,than to fight it. No matter how passionate you are or what yer' justifications may be. He loves us. Knows us better than we know ourselves. He has a perfect plan no matter what ideas we think we have that seem better.
There's so much more I want to share with people here about what God has brought me through & showed me about myself from this entire experience...I've been blessed in some amazing ways,and some changes in my heart & life have occurred from my "letting go". At some point when I feel I am supposed to I will go into detail about this,as the Lord leads.
Our sin & chasing after things that we had no business chasing after just shows how simplistically human & flawed we are w/out Christ at the center of what we were doing.
With all of that said,I do thank those of you who have showed concern. Prayed for each of us. Shared your wisdom & compassion here as well as privately to her & I.
Even as messed up as we behaved,God still chooses to extend his Mercy & Love to us,and one of those ways is through our brothers & sisters in Christ. YOU here in CC.
My prayer obviously is that no one else follow down such a path. It's far better to just do what you know God has told you to do,than to fight it. No matter how passionate you are or what yer' justifications may be. He loves us. Knows us better than we know ourselves. He has a perfect plan no matter what ideas we think we have that seem better.
There's so much more I want to share with people here about what God has brought me through & showed me about myself from this entire experience...I've been blessed in some amazing ways,and some changes in my heart & life have occurred from my "letting go". At some point when I feel I am supposed to I will go into detail about this,as the Lord leads.
The success or failure of your deeds, does not add up to the sum of your life. Your spirit cannot be weighed. Judge yourself by the intentions of your actions, and by the strength with which you faced the challenges that have stood in your way. The Universe is vast and we are so small. There is really only one thing we can ever truly control...
whether we are good or evil.
whether we are good or evil.
Noooooo!.... You can't do that! Somebody's gotta git in 'ere & blow it all up & derail it & stuff! Dat's da rules..... Letting you get by wit dat wud make you special & stuff, dat jus' wouldn't be rite.... it would warp the space/time continuium & bring absolute chaos to dis site. Ok....who's first?
T
Wow, this thread. Jim and Cristen thank you so much for sharing your joys and struggles with us and the difficult lessons you both learned. It's a real blessing to hear what God's been doing in your lives since then and that you're choosing to walk the straight and narrow path. So much godly wisdom. I'm choking back tears here. I love you guys!