Quite often the word protect is misunderstood as possessive or controlling. If a husband told his wife not to do something because he wanted to protect her, the wife might twist it and accuse him of being possessive. I could give some examples,. but first I would like to hear people's opinions on what I've said so far. What are your thoughts on submission?
I'm married. My wife and I are both Christians. She's Asian, raised in Asia. Partly because of my passive nature and wanting to make her happy, and my lack of vision for marriage, I didn't really exercise certain aspects of my headship. If you do that, your wife is likely to fill any power vacuum you filled. A few years ago, I realized my error. I prayed for my wife, and the Lord started correcting some of her respect and submission issues, and I began to try to fill that vacuum I'd left. I feel comfortable saying I wear the pants in the family.
If you want to marry, don't let the unsubmissivness of the average woman in this society dissuade you. I believe the average American woman makes a rather poor wife. Of course, you might say the same thing about the average American man being a poor husband. You don't want the average person, but rather someone who fears the Lord and really lives a godly wife.
My wife fears the Lord. The good thing about that is if she realizes she is off in some area, she knows she needs to get things right with the Lord.
If you want to find a wife who will submit to you, that is a normal desire, appropriate for a Christian man. A lot of modern people, even church people, influenced by feminism, will think you are a caveman if you say you are looking for a woman who will submit to you and not argue with you, obey you, revere you, be diligent around the home and work hard. They think you are some guy out of a cowboy movie. But according to scripture, a wife should be like that. Proverbs 31 tells us about the woman who fears the Lord who does her husband good. She is diligent and works hard. Paul told the older women to teach the younger women to love their husbands, submit to their husbands, and be diligent around the home. Peter and Paul tell wives to submit to their husbands. Peter shows us that includes obedience when he illustrates submission/subjection by saying, "even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord."
If you start a relationship with a woman, tell her what kind of wife you want. Tell her you want a woman who will obey her husband. If that scares her, she may break it off. Good for you. Good for both of you. Ending it early prevents more heartbreak and prevents you from ending up with someone who doesn't have the same vision for your marriage. Some women might 'walk all over you' if you let them, but if, while you are dating, and especially early in marriage, you are decisive and you call her out when she acts unsubmissively or disrespectfully, she may submit and be respectful.
Some people say submission is all on the wife and the husband shouldn't mention it. But that doesn't fit with the teaching of the Bible to 'exhort one another' to prevent falling into sin. Leviticus says not to despise your neighbor in your heart, but to rebuke your neighbor frankly lest you share in his sin. A Christian wife is a fellow believer, and she should respectfully reprove her husband if he sins. If just a fellow believer has this kind of responsibility, how much more should we do so for those under our care. An elder of the church (a.k.a. 'pastor') should offer correction to those he sees in sin or acting foolishly. A husband should point out when his wife is unsubmissive or disobedient, and not tolerate it when she is like that. She needs to get the message that he isnt' going to accept that kind of behavior.
If you were a manager, and you just put up with employees coming in late, not doing their work, and being disrespectful to you, until other employees imitated, is that good management? If you are a parent and you let your kids talk back to you, disobey, and from infancy, let the child grow up hitting you when he or she is angry, is that good parenting? Definitely not. if you are the head of your wife, then you need to keep her submission in mind as a part of 'ruling your house well' especially in this day and age. If she's an unbeliever, it's a different story. You can still do what you can to wear the pants. But you want to marry a believer anyway if you are a Christian.
It helps to marry a woman who really buys in to the idea of the husband being the head of the wife. If the woman you are considering does not, teach her the word. You may have to unteach some false teachings that are popular these days that the verses about submission and headship don't mean what they say-- junk arguments about Greek that you read from people who don't know Greek and don't offer any real support for their theories.
You may be able to find a Christian woman who instinctively wants a man to lead her, and has a desire to submit to her husband. You may want to look for a wife in churches that really teach on the subject and correct the errors accepted in society and in churches brought about by accepting feminist thought (even without realizing it.) Maybe an ex-Amish gal would make a good match.
I was living in Asia when I got married, but in some countries, it is commonly understood that the husband is the head of the home, and women in these countries don't easily get bent out of shape and turn into raging feminists when you suggest that such should be the case.
There are women who could be good wives in just about any country. But you may be able to find a more submissive woman, on average, in some Latin American countries, Asia, or Africa. In Asia, on average, I'd think some of the southeast Asian women from countries like Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, the Philippines, and Indonesia would be likely to be more submissive. You may get a submissive Japanese women. The general population is unlikely to have virgins, but I hear there are more Christian Japanese men than women, and churches are full of Japanese Christian women looking for husbands. A NZ or Ozzie evangelist with no arms and legs married a pretty Japanese woman a few years back. There are many Korean or Chinese Christian women who could make good wives, but culturally, the women seem more likely to rule the roost in those countries, IMO. There are lots of Christians in the Philippines and Indonesia. For the most part, both cultures are anti-divorce. Divorce is not legal in the Philippines.
The average woman in some of these countries is likely to realize she needs to submit to her husband, but you don't have to go overseas to find that. There are women like that in the US and Europe. They may just be harder to find. There are even virgins in these countries and honorable widows. And no matter what country you marry in, women are women. You have to manage the relationship to keep the 'balance of power' and other aspects of the relationship healthy.
