Would you be willing to wait for the person you like/love for 10 years?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
4,305
113
#41
The truth is... If you've been waiting more than a few months just to get this person to date you or to make him/her like you, they were never interested in you in the first place and they won't be interested in a relationship with you no matter how long you wait.
 
Jul 20, 2019
1,228
882
113
#42
I am unlikely to make an investment of time and self-denial for a gentleman I don’t know intimately and whose bones I don’t understand. That takes a lot of years of interacting and seeing them at their best and worst. I don’t have that tenure with any Christian men.

I would need a clear word from the Lord, a period of prayer and fasting, and confirmation from others with an ear to hear from Him. Given my current season, the likelihood of doing so is next to none.
The only connection from the heart I have attained recently is with a married woman . From the heart and all it took was eye contact. However due to the scripture concerning divorce there is nothing I can do .
 

Princesse

Active member
Feb 16, 2020
259
123
43
#43
The only connection from the heart I have attained recently is with a married woman . From the heart and all it took was eye contact. However due to the scripture concerning divorce there is nothing I can do .
That’s a difficult situation. Especially when interest goes both ways. I was in a similar situation with who desired to spend their life with me. My return to God altered everything.

He didn’t give up on me. Not in my time away or after my return. It’s a quagmire. But humbling nonetheless. He affirmed the same over the years. To know you’ve touched someone’s soul (and they yours) to that degree is unforgettable.

There is a peace in knowing you found the one you sought. To be aware it wasn’t an idea you created in your head. But flesh and blood that breathes and longs for you.

I’ve always liked this poem by Rumi. It is a treatise love bathed in spirit. :)

From the beginning of my life
I have been looking for your face
but today I have seen it


Today I have seen
the charm, the beauty, and
the unfathomable grace
of the face that I have been looking for


Today I have found you
and those who laughed and scorned me yesterday
are sorry they were not looking as I did


I am bewildered by the magnificence of your beauty
and wish to see you with a hundred eyes


My heart has burned with passion and has searched forever
for this wondrous beauty I now behold


I am ashamed to call this love human
and afraid of God to call it divine


Your fragrant breath like the morning breeze
has come to the stillness of the garden


You have breathed new life into me
I have become your sunshine
and also your shadow


My soul is screaming in ecstacy

Every fiber of my being
is in love with you


Your efflugence has lit a fire in my heart
for me the earth and sky


My arrow of love has arrived at the target
I am in the house of mercy
and my heart is a place of prayer
 
Jul 20, 2019
1,228
882
113
#44
That’s a difficult situation. Especially when interest goes both ways. I was in a similar situation with who desired to spend their life with me. My return to God altered everything.

He didn’t give up on me. Not in my time away or after my return. It’s a quagmire. But humbling nonetheless. He affirmed the same over the years. To know you’ve touched someone’s soul (and they yours) to that degree is unforgettable.

There is a peace in knowing you found the one you sought. To be aware it wasn’t an idea you created in your head. But flesh and blood that breathes and longs for you.

I’ve always liked this poem by Rumi. It is a treatise love bathed in spirit. :)

From the beginning of my life
I have been looking for your face
but today I have seen it


Today I have seen
the charm, the beauty, and
the unfathomable grace
of the face that I have been looking for


Today I have found you
and those who laughed and scorned me yesterday
are sorry they were not looking as I did


I am bewildered by the magnificence of your beauty
and wish to see you with a hundred eyes


My heart has burned with passion and has searched forever
for this wondrous beauty I now behold


I am ashamed to call this love human
and afraid of God to call it divine


Your fragrant breath like the morning breeze
has come to the stillness of the garden


You have breathed new life into me
I have become your sunshine
and also your shadow


My soul is screaming in ecstacy

Every fiber of my being
is in love with you


Your efflugence has lit a fire in my heart
for me the earth and sky


My arrow of love has arrived at the target
I am in the house of mercy
and my heart is a place of prayer
oh, I know that feeling. She is much younger than me, which for me is unusual as I was never interested in someone much younger, always older women. Oh the yearning I have for her sometimes , its definitely from The Lord.
 
L

LittleMermaid

Guest
#45
oh, I know that feeling. She is much younger than me, which for me is unusual as I was never interested in someone much younger, always older women. Oh the yearning I have for her sometimes , its definitely from The Lord.
Brother, if the woman you are thinking about is married, then how can those feelings be from God? He would never lead us to sin.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#46
mmm Fantasy land anyone?
You know in Fantasy Land, the rides just go round and round in circles. You are not going to actually GO anywhere on them. You may get a thrill but it will dump you right back where you were in the beginning.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#47
basically if you are yearning for someone whose already married you have to wait till their spouse dies.
Or they divorce. I personally would not want to be the agent of divorce or the silent killer of that marriage. They chose it, they ought to stick with it cos they made a vow.
 
Jul 20, 2019
1,228
882
113
#48
basically if you are yearning for someone whose already married you have to wait till their spouse dies.
Or they divorce. I personally would not want to be the agent of divorce or the silent killer of that marriage. They chose it, they ought to stick with it cos they made a vow.
I don't think its as simple as that. No one not even God wants someone to be miserable for a lifetime with an unloving man, alcoholic, drug user, rude and arrogant etc. it serves no purpose to her or any children that come along later. This is the mistake the Pharisees made, telling everyone to live by the law. It cant always work that way in this messed up world.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#49
I don't think its as simple as that. No one not even God wants someone to be miserable for a lifetime with an unloving man, alcoholic, drug user, rude and arrogant etc. it serves no purpose to her or any children that come along later. This is the mistake the Pharisees made, telling everyone to live by the law. It cant always work that way in this messed up world.
then. that person needs to obtain a divorce. I thought it only took two years, not TEN to get one.
if someone is being criminal and abusive that person needs to admit that she was wrong in marrying and go to the police and get lawyers in sorry.

Otherwise, you are just comitting adultery.

a vow is a vow and must be paid. By both parties. or they are deceiving each other.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#50
maybe how about you just pray for her husband.

God can turn a rude, arrogant, alcoholic drug abusing unloving person around. Nobody else can. Sounds like a recipe for early death if you ask me though.
 

Princesse

Active member
Feb 16, 2020
259
123
43
#51
oh, I know that feeling. She is much younger than me, which for me is unusual as I was never interested in someone much younger, always older women. Oh the yearning I have for her sometimes , its definitely from The Lord.
God will shake up things for certain. But it’s challenging if you develop an attraction to someone tied to another. And the likelihood of them doing the same is stronger when your behavior opposes their norm.

This is especially true in marital or relational challenges. The outsider is seen through rose colored lenses. Hands-on support is best administered through pastoral care and those of the same gender. But all can pray nonetheless.
 
Jul 20, 2019
1,228
882
113
#54
God will shake up things for certain. But it’s challenging if you develop an attraction to someone tied to another. And the likelihood of them doing the same is stronger when your behavior opposes their norm.

This is especially true in marital or relational challenges. The outsider is seen through rose colored lenses. Hands-on support is best administered through pastoral care and those of the same gender. But all can pray nonetheless.
I grew up with a dysfunctional family, believe me it isn't a good environment for children to grow up in. I have also witnessed aunts and uncles who live together only for the children, you can see the animosity between the spouses. I cant see Jesus expecting people to grow up in such an environment for long.
 

Princesse

Active member
Feb 16, 2020
259
123
43
#55
I grew up with a dysfunctional family, believe me it isn't a good environment for children to grow up in. I have also witnessed aunts and uncles who live together only for the children, you can see the animosity between the spouses. I cant see Jesus expecting people to grow up in such an environment for long.
Having raised a child, I’m aware of the importance of stability and a healthy environment and the impact its omission has on everyone involved. While I never married, I was very fastidious about the people I allowed in our life and home for the reasons you’ve shared and others too.

I’ve also witnessed the problems errant connections can create and the difficulty many have in walking away. In each scenario, the individual had to reach a point where self-preservation and regard exceeded the fear and hell they endured.

I couldn’t bring them to that point. Only God can. I could love and support them throughout. But I don’t have the liberty of transgressing His word for the greater good in that case. And when it relates to the opposite sex you have to acknowledge your motives and what you gain by taking a stand.

It is one thing to get involved to free them from their clutches. And another to do the same so that we can build a future together. I would be lying to myself if I didn’t see the benefit of the second to my person and believed I was justified, altruistic and wholly innocent.
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#56
Yes, I will wait for the person for 10 years IF I knew he was also waiting for me.
 

KhedetOrthos

Active member
Dec 13, 2019
284
158
43
#57
If you like/love someone now, would you be willing to wait for the person for 10 years (or even 5 years) if starting a relationship with that person was guaranteed?

If your answer is yes, then that's great.
But my real question is 'what if your answer is no?'
No, but I'd be willing to work for them for seven...

...in all seriousness, ten years late in life is a significant commitment. If you're 58, turning 68 isn't guaranteed. Sometimes, things don't work out because of timing or age.

I know in some countries, like singapore, the govt tries to force people to marry by setting them up.
How does something like that even begin to work?
 

Princesse

Active member
Feb 16, 2020
259
123
43
#58
I think arranged marriages can work if both are yielded to God and have a shared mission they’re working towards. Derek Prince is a good example.

But few would marry someone they’re not attracted to solely on the belief they’re being led by God. There’s usually a combination of mutual interest and spiritual comfort. The idea is easier for those reared in cultures where the practice still exists.

Nevertheless, Ravi Zacharias shared these words in I, Isaac, Take Thee Rebekah that I’ve never forgotten, “Love is as much a question of the will as it is of the emotion. And if you will to love somebody, you can.”

This OP boils down to will and the depth of our commitment to God and the other person. Only He could enable us to stand for a lengthy duration for a hope that will not disappoint. If our flesh is leading the charge there's no guarantee we’ll receive the spoil we expect.
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
4,305
113
#59
Ok I just thought of an exception... IF we were both little kids then yes I would wait 10 years! :)

 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#60
haha

well 7 years flew by for Jacob. Dont know about 10. But you need to be working all that time and know that what is promised will happen, so you set a date. Just dont end up marryng her sister instead.