Would you be willing to wait for the person you like/love for 10 years?

[laughingheart]

A question like this has way too many variables. Why can't you be together? You know that in 5 years apart, neither of you will be the same person you are today. Are you able to be in contact? Would you have email, phone or Skype? Can you see each other or is that forbidden? I was trying to think of scenarios where this would make sense. If you are in a loving relationship what would prevent you? Let's say they'd been arrested in a country for distributing bibles and it would be 5 years until their release. You would have to know that anyone, after 5 years of imprisonment, would need even more time for the other person to deal with that ordeal. They might not be able to sustain a relationship when they are free. I might love them, and be supportive but my expectations would have to be at a low ebb. My motives would have to based on the love of the person rather than what I hope to receive from them.

 

[christian74]

Why will I need to wait 5 or ten Years? And while I'm waiting what is the other person doing? And how will I know that it is guaranteed?

But why stop at 68? How about waiting till age 100? And how will I know he is "perfect"?

It's a hypothetical situation. So the questions why do I need to wait 5 or ten years, what is the other person doing and how I know it is guaranteed are irrelevant. Same thing with how will I know he/she is "perfect" (thus why in quotation mark).

The real question I was asking myself was, regardless of the reason as to why wait, etc, will you be willing to wait for the person, the person you like/love right now if starting a relationship with the same person was guaranteed (again, hypothetical situation).

And I guess another question is will you wait for the person (regardless as to why) even if there was no guarantee that (1) the person will not stay the same or has changed significantly and (2) there was no guarantee whatsoever at the end of waiting period.

It's just a "fun" hypothetical situation I thought of.

 

[Kim82]

I can tell you by experience that I myself have been waiting for someone for 27 year's. I've tried to let go and move on, but everytime I do the desire to be with her just hit's me all over again. So I guess I'll just have to wait, even untill the end of time

27years? Where is she? In prison? In a distant far away land? In a marriage? I don't understand. And did she tell you to wait on her?

 

[Kim82]

This thread makes absolutely no sense.

 

[christian74]

A question like this has way too many variables. Why can't you be together? You know that in 5 years apart, neither of you will be the same person you are today. Are you able to be in contact? Would you have email, phone or Skype? Can you see each other or is that forbidden? I was trying to think of scenarios where this would make sense. If you are in a loving relationship what would prevent you? Let's say they'd been arrested in a country for distributing bibles and it would be 5 years until their release. You would have to know that anyone, after 5 years of imprisonment, would need even more time for the other person to deal with that ordeal. They might not be able to sustain a relationship when they are free. I might love them, and be supportive but my expectations would have to be at a low ebb. My motives would have to based on the love of the person rather than what I hope to receive from them.

right on.
This was based on hypothetical situation - who can guarantee anything after 5 or 10 years whether it's a guarantee that you get to start a relationship or the person you love will stay the same. This was more of regardless of variables, too many variables, would you wait for that person? I think you've answer that question in part when you said your motives would have to based on the love of the person.

 

[Kim82]

And for people who do online dating. I would think you would date someone nearby, unless you have cash to spare. Because dating someone far away is impractical if you can't afford it. You'll need to buy a plane ticket to go have lunch with that person.

 

[Solemateleft]

Hypothetical topics are fun - especially since Happiness is a Choice... Some life choices are riddled with more risks than others...
I'm a hopeless romantic... I believe in Soulmates and I never bet against a sure thing... After all don't sacrifices have to be made to achieve our life goals...

 

[Magenta]

This is obvious, but I'll mention it anyway: Jacob and Rachel.

According to the Bible, seven years and then seven more years seemed like only a few days and a few more days.

Just to clarify: Jacob did not have to wait seven more years to marry Rachel after initially being tricked into marrying Leah after the first seven years of work. Jacob married Rachel seven days after marrying her sister Leah (Genesis 29:28)

 

[Solemateleft]

Hypothetical topics are fun - especially since Happiness is a Choice... Some life choices are riddled with more risks than others...
I'm a hopeless romantic... I believe in Soulmates and I never bet against a sure thing... After all don't sacrifices have to be made to achieve our life goals...

View attachment 204068
View attachment 204069

For the record, I made these hypothetical charts to go along with the hypothetical discussion.

 

[Solemateleft]

It is interesting to see how many responses are hung-up with the 'what-if' interpretations of a 'Guarantee' as if to rationalize a justification for 'not waiting' for their ideal match...

Wondering if our fundamental prisms as optimists or pessimists play a role in how we pontificate even hypothetical questions.

As an Optimist understanding all the plausible scenarios along with an appreciation for HIS hand and master-plans for all HIS children... It is easy for me to flip the hypothetical script and rationalize/interpret that while HE is fully aware of all of HIS children's journey's - knowing all our paths and spiritual growth are all on our own individual and varying timelines...

If somehow I was afforded the gift of an angelic glimpse into the future that revealed that HE was guaranteeing that both I and my ideal soulmate were on separate paths along our respective life-journeys and that HE was guaranteeing that if we both chose to complete our individual journeys with HIM individually for the next 5-10 years as an insurance policy to ensure our eternal happiness together...

Than YES... that was easy...

 

[Lanolin]

Can we just say yes, or no, or maybe it depends.

Cos its hypothetical, can we just say who knows? I dont.

Also, divination is going against God. JEsus tells us not to worry about tomorrow anyway.

The expected end is seeing Jesus anyway and that, for those saved, is guaranteed.

10 year engagements are rather long for most people, its about a year at the most, which will give you enough time to organise the wedding.

 

[Odelschwanck]

Well I've waited 12 years of my adult life in general. For a specific person, I don't know how that question relates to real life. I'd wait a few years, so as to not marry a stranger.

 

[Kim82]

I think there is a difference between waiting on God and waiting on a particular person.

If someone is single and haven't met anyone that's right for them, then the thing to do is wait, and not rush into marriage with the wrong person. And if you just met someone last night, then naturally you will take sometime getting to know them. But during that time, I do believe that both parties would be mutually exclusive. So they are already a couple (without fornication, I hope)

If somehow I was afforded the gift of an angelic glimpse into the future that revealed that HE was guaranteeing that both I and my ideal soulmate were on separate paths along our respective life-journeys and that HE was guaranteeing that if we both chose to complete our individual journeys with HIM individually for the next 5-10 years as an insurance policy to ensure our eternal happiness together...

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

By the way, God does not say we will have eternal happiness with a spouse. Mathew 22:30 At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.

Perhaps you should stick with the Bible and not fantasy love stories.

 

[Lanolin]

For those who are waiting are you actually ENGAGED? And how does anyone know? Well look on your finger is there a ring. Or a flower behind your ear? No?
If no then you are not waiting for anyone go on and live your single life for God.

It is the height of stupid to wait for someone you are not even engaged to. Sorry to be blunt.

 

[Lanolin]

It would be like, waiting for the bus on a route where the bus doesnt go, having no idea when it will turn up, and not having any bus fare.
Then you are wondering to yourself oh why is the bus taking so long? Are you even at the bus stop? Do you have an appointed time to catch it, and do you have the bus fare?
If you dont have any of these things go get a timetable and a ticket. The buses are not going to stop outside your door and pick you up just cos you are waiting outside.

Im sorry but unless you live in fantasy land, that does not happen. This is why people get engaged and set a date.

 

[1ofthem]

I can honestly say I don't know anymore. I've tried it both ways. In the past I've jumped in and out of relationships ,no waiting involved.

Many times, I didn't wait on Mr. Right just took Mr. Right Now...and that all ended badly.

So then, I thought hey I'll wait on someone...Hung around for three years and that ended badly...

Now I don't know which is worse...I think I feel more like a moron for waiting on someone. In the past, I could at least say I didn't take enough time and so I made a mistake...Now I'm left with I took plenty of time and it still ended just the same...

I guess my mistakes have been not waiting on the Lord for guidance in this matter.

 

[christian74]

I can honestly say I don't know anymore. I've tried it both ways. In the past I've jumped in and out of relationships ,no waiting involved.

Many times, I didn't wait on Mr. Right just took Mr. Right Now...and that all ended badly.

So then, I thought hey I'll wait on someone...Hung around for three years and that ended badly...

Now I don't know which is worse...I think I feel more like a moron for waiting on someone. In the past, I could at least say I didn't take enough time and so I made a mistake...Now I'm left with I took plenty of time and it still ended just the same...

I guess my mistakes have been not waiting on the Lord for guidance in this matter.

Thought it was an honest sharing of your relational life - hope things work out better for you as you rely on the Lord's guidance.

 

[1ofthem]

Thought it was an honest sharing of your relational life - hope things work out better for you as you rely on the Lord's guidance.

Yeah, hopefully I can. I don't want to play the rebound game, again. Been there done that and it really ain't cool...lol

At this point, I'm gonna try to wait on the Lord. Try to do what he wants, not what I want because what I want really ain't working.

I've been married, divorced, and had a few relationships before and after. I didn't really go to the Lord for guidance in any (I persuaded myself they were all the Lord's will when actually they were not), so they all totally failed.

You would think I would have learned my lesson by now, and I have...but now's the time to put in action, I guess.

Anyhow, thanks for the nice reply.

 

[Princesse]

I am unlikely to make an investment of time and self-denial for a gentleman I don’t know intimately and whose bones I don’t understand. That takes a lot of years of interacting and seeing them at their best and worst. I don’t have that tenure with any Christian men.

I would need a clear word from the Lord, a period of prayer and fasting, and confirmation from others with an ear to hear from Him. Given my current season, the likelihood of doing so is next to none.

 

[tourist]

Short answer is no. 10 weeks probably, 10 months possibly but definitely not 10 years.