Would you date someone who's got a terminal or mental disease?

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J

jer2911

Guest
#61
#61
blue_ladybug said:
I agree with Ugly's response. I also have my own health issues, so it would be very unlikely of me being with someone who also has health problems, especially if I have to care for them as well as myself. Having health problems of your own is hard enough, without having to try and take care of a spouse, etc, with health problems also.
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Since I came from a family with health problems

1999 - Eldest brother died of bone cancer
2000 - Father died of hypertension
2002 - Uncle died of hypertension
2004 - Grandmother died of kidney failure
2006 - Sister died of cervical cancer
2008 - Mother died of hypertension

I still have one brother with hypertension and one eldest sister who doesn't want to have a medical check-up for fear of knowing her health status. And as for me, I always have check-ups and taking food supplements. Prevention is better than cure.

I felt like applying that adage to dating. Preventing myself on dating someone for fear of being rejected because of my family's history. Don't get me wrong. I'm dating brothers in the church. Once, I have dated 5 times someone with diabetes.

As God said, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." So, who am I to go against God's plan? Even that plan, hope and future might not mean a 'mate', I won't like to intentionally/unintentionally prevent God's will.

If I'm the one who has a terminal/mental disease, I'll tell it to a person I'm dating. I also expect that person to do the same. It's a very challenging to date someone, yet PERFECT LOVE DRIVES OUT FEAR.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#62
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
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#62
Raine said:
Another great story... This is not terminal or mental illness... But definitely something where his wife has devoted her whole life to care for him. Beautiful story! (I'm sure he makes good money too but that's beside the point I'm trying to make :p)

Nick Vujicic, Life Without Limbs
View attachment 87058
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Not to mention he is handsome too...:)

He is a perfect example of having a broken body or incomplete body but his spirit is whole and so inspired.
 
J

jer2911

Guest
#63
#63
Tinkerbell725 said:
Not to mention he is handsome too...:)

He is a perfect example of having a broken body or incomplete body but his spirit is whole and so inspired.
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He is handsome inside and out. :)
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#64
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#64
My heart goes out to you Jer, on losing so many loved ones. I love your attitude though.

jer2911 said:
Since I came from a family with health problems

1999 - Eldest brother died of bone cancer
2000 - Father died of hypertension
2002 - Uncle died of hypertension
2004 - Grandmother died of kidney failure
2006 - Sister died of cervical cancer
2008 - Mother died of hypertension

I still have one brother with hypertension and one eldest sister who doesn't want to have a medical check-up for fear of knowing her health status. And as for me, I always have check-ups and taking food supplements. Prevention is better than cure.

I felt like applying that adage to dating. Preventing myself on dating someone for fear of being rejected because of my family's history. Don't get me wrong. I'm dating brothers in the church. Once, I have dated 5 times someone with diabetes.

As God said, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." So, who am I to go against God's plan? Even that plan, hope and future might not mean a 'mate', I won't like to intentionally/unintentionally prevent God's will.

If I'm the one who has a terminal/mental disease, I'll tell it to a person I'm dating. I also expect that person to do the same. It's a very challenging to date someone, yet PERFECT LOVE DRIVES OUT FEAR.
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Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#65
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#65
As someone who tried very hard and got too close to someone with mental illness, I will say no to that. Having lived with my mother for 16 years of my life, I think I've met my quota.



I would not consider a terminal illness a red flag... but that depends on the illness.

Also, it would seemingly be some very strange circumstances for me to meet someone and fall in love with them too.
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#66
#66
*reads the interchange between Lav and Holly*

*smiles biggest smile EVAR when it ends in forgiveness and understanding*

You sisters are awesome. It's a joy to watch patience and love work when there's a miscommunication between brothers and sisters in Christ.

As far as the topic goes, I only stopped in, because I had to think, "Did Gracie start this one?" She didn't, but I thought she did spurred on by this little exerpt from our conversation last night:



Angie
June is a long time from now though... a lot can happen between now and June. Who knows. Everyone may be married by then. lol


Shour
If I get married before June, then either my bride or I have a terminal illness.


Angie
You'd marry someone with a terminal illness because there's less commitment?
Or is rashness the illness? Because that could be truye


Shour
No, it's the only way I'd agree to such a short time table.


Angie
Oh, hahahahaa
okay then
I really misinterpreted that one...


Shour
Like, "the doctor gave me six months," you know?




Crazy how this topic appeared the very next day. ^_^
 
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J

jer2911

Guest
#67
#67
Grace-Like-Rain said:
My heart goes out to you Jer, on losing so many loved ones. I love your attitude though.
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Thanks, Grace-Like-Rain!

Such an amazing, outrageous grace of God to continue living with or without fear for the future.
 
J

jer2911

Guest
#68
#68
Hi to Aya2011, Grace-like-Rain and Liamson :D Have a great/blessed day/evening!
 
A

Aya2011

Guest
#69
#69
jer2911 said:
Hi to Aya2011, Grace-like-Rain and Liamson :D Have a great/blessed day/evening!
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Hi Ate Cris! Hehehe.

About the topic. I can only imagine how challenging it is to date a conjoined twin.
 
J

jer2911

Guest
#70
#70
Aya2011 said:
Hi Ate Cris! Hehehe.

About the topic. I can only imagine how challenging it is to date a conjoined twin.
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You did it again! Ref: The Banning Thread. It should read as 'Kris' - my nickname. Cris is my father's name. Lita is my mother's name. Put them together, it's CRISLITA means 'little Christ'. (Hope the name goes with the person, too. lol)

Anyway, yeah, very challenging though. It's a matter of decision and discretion of a person concerned. For me, I hope God will spare me to that, but like I said, I don't have the final word. Those who said things with finality mostly find themselves being on that situation. Scary! lol.
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#71
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#71
Raine said:
Another great story... This is not terminal or mental illness... But definitely something where his wife has devoted her whole life to care for him. Beautiful story! (I'm sure he makes good money too but that's beside the point I'm trying to make :p)

Nick Vujicic, Life Without Limbs
View attachment 87058
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Raine, I have watched his videos. He is not only an amazing motivational speaker but also an extraordinary guide to Christ! :)

I don't think he would need his wife to take care of him. He has enough money to hire a few helpers to do the job. :p
 
A

Aya2011

Guest
#72
#72
Roh_Chris said:
I don't think he would need his wife to take care of him. He has enough money to hire a few helpers to do the job. :p
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I think even without the money, he can pretty much take care of himself.
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#73
Jun 15, 2014
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#73
Aya2011 said:
I think even without the money, he can pretty much take care of himself.
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Oh. I didn't know that. I remember a video where he mentioned that he needed assistance sometimes. So I thought that he couldn't take care of himself.

Thank you for pointing it out. :)
 
A

Aya2011

Guest
#74
#74
Roh_Chris said:
Oh. I didn't know that. I remember a video where he mentioned that he needed assistance sometimes. So I thought that he couldn't take care of himself.

Thank you for pointing it out. :)
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I have also watched a video of him a long time ago where he was doing some daily routines at home. He has also mentioned in some of his preaching that he drives. I'm not sure if its just out of sarcasm.
 
J

jer2911

Guest
#75
#75
Aya2011 said:
I have also watched a video of him a long time ago where he was doing some daily routines at home. He has also mentioned in some of his preaching that he drives. I'm not sure if its just out of sarcasm.
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Hey, Aya. Gonna have a break time at CC until we meet together with fieles. There's an urgent matter where my full attention is needed. For 10 days siince my monthsary with God (Aug. 27th), it's like Women Praying Boldly. Will Skype fieles regarding this. Please pray for it.

Will miss you guys, until then... ^0^
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#76
May 3, 2013
8,719
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0
#76
lav said:
you're right, i apologize. i did not understand your situation. i am dealing with a lot of challenges of my own and spiritual attacks. please forgive me.
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You are lovable, though.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#77
#77
Raine said:
Another great story... This is not terminal or mental illness... But definitely something where his wife has devoted her whole life to care for him. Beautiful story! (I'm sure he makes good money too but that's beside the point I'm trying to make :p)

Nick Vujicic, Life Without Limbs
View attachment 87058
Click to expand...
Believe it or not i had not even seen this post before the talk we had. o.0
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#78
May 3, 2013
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#78
As sad as it could be, not thinking in anyone in particular, during my whole life, before I ber this cross I´m trying to bear, I´ve been so picky and knew how picky we also are. Most of us tried to find someone who fitted our likes and needs, and seldom we tried to match those who drew near. We sought to match things at convenience (too many things) yet left a bunch behind. I have talked to dozens of friends and unknown people and some learned they also were wrong when choosing the healthy, the nice looking, the rich or smart (just few of those reasons I have heard). Yesterday, one of my friends died just sleeeping. He ate low fat, he jogged as much as he could, he took care of him and his wife,and today he will be incinerated at 1 pm, just leaving alone his wife and his son... Life is so short, and we insist on matching our dreams -at convenience- while those dreams, once reached, can last hours, days, few years, and that toil for matching making always belonged to GOD... The secret is loving in faith, truthful, and I hope if someone who is really sick, anyone who is aware of his / her ailment (mental, spiritual or physical) be responsible enough to warn each person in the world before courtships, wooings, etc., cause life is too short to be wasted and not enough enjoyed. Everyone has expectations but we, human beings, paid too little attentions on other´s dreams and hidden expectations.

I´m loosing another friend, but I hope honesty grows a lot and in truth and, as for me, I´m learning to bear my cross (which is not a burdensome way to deny myself).
 
E

Esanta

Banned
#79
Jun 18, 2014
755
3
0
#79
Aya2011 said:
Like if a person has cancer, AIDS, multiple sclerosis, etc.

I'm not sending out some kind of negative tone here, I just wanna know what's your take on this matter.
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The answer is it depends. It depends what the disease was, it depends on the person, and it depends on the circumstance and scenario.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#80
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#80
secularhermit said:
As sad as it could be, not thinking in anyone in particular, during my whole life, before I ber this cross I´m trying to bear, I´ve been so picky and knew how picky we also are. Most of us tried to find someone who fitted our likes and needs, and seldom we tried to match those who drew near. We sought to match things at convenience (too many things) yet left a bunch behind. I have talked to dozens of friends and unknown people and some learned they also were wrong when choosing the healthy, the nice looking, the rich or smart (just few of those reasons I have heard). Yesterday, one of my friends died just sleeeping. He ate low fat, he jogged as much as he could, he took care of him and his wife,and today he will be incinerated at 1 pm, just leaving alone his wife and his son... Life is so short, and we insist on matching our dreams -at convenience- while those dreams, once reached, can last hours, days, few years, and that toil for matching making always belonged to GOD... The secret is loving in faith, truthful, and I hope if someone who is really sick, anyone who is aware of his / her ailment (mental, spiritual or physical) be responsible enough to warn each person in the world before courtships, wooings, etc., cause life is too short to be wasted and not enough enjoyed. Everyone has expectations but we, human beings, paid too little attentions on other´s dreams and hidden expectations.

I´m loosing another friend, but I hope honesty grows a lot and in truth and, as for me, I´m learning to bear my cross (which is not a burdensome way to deny myself).
Click to expand...

Sorry about your sad news...May your friend rest in peace. Right, life is so short so we must never BLINK.
 
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