would you ever...

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C

Chey60

Guest
#21
#21
Jullianna said:
Chey's thread about the wife asking her to step in post mortem brought a question to mind:

If you genuinely thought someone else was a better match for someone who was interested in you, even if you liked them too, would you step aside and encourage them to pursue that person?
What would you do?
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How about this one?
try thinking you are a better match then someone else, but they choose her :) lol
(the widower).

I think if God led me to this person ...then maybe what God thinks and I think are two different things.
We can be a little self deprecating..and think we are worse than we are..
I think if they wanted to be interested in the other person they would be ;)
so no..
I don't think I would..because there was a time I thought EVERY girl was better than me..
but that's not what God thinks of each of us..
and I now believe what God believes about me.
that I am valuable, I am beloved of God and why not me?

so that's what you would have to say? why not you?

now if you didn't like them back? different story :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#22
#22
kayem77 said:
Exactly this would be my response. I don't havea right to decide for someone else, nor does anyone has a right to decide who is better or more compatible for me (except God, obviously). If things don't work out, I'll walk away, but if there aren't any problems in our relationship then I don't have to create problems myself.
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Hmmm.... Would someone really see it as deciding something for someone else? :( If you know you and that person don't have enough in common to make it work? Would it be so wrong to introduce them and see what happens?

Then again...if things went sour, you've lost two friends, right? :( But....what if it COULD work out and they never knew? :( Seems even sadder....

I'm just a hopeless romantic, huh? Silly me :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#24
#24
Chey60 said:
How about this one?
try thinking you are a better match then someone else, but they choose her :) lol
(the widower).

I think if God led me to this person ...then maybe what God thinks and I think are two different things.
We can be a little self deprecating..and think we are worse than we are..
I think if they wanted to be interested in the other person they would be ;)
so no..
I don't think I would..because there was a time I thought EVERY girl was better than me..
but that's not what God thinks of each of us..
and I now believe what God believes about me.
that I am valuable, I am beloved of God and why not me?

so that's what you would have to say? why not you?

now if you didn't like them back? different story :)
Click to expand...
sorry about what happened to you :(
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#25
#25
Jullianna said:
Hmmm.... Would someone really see it as deciding something for someone else? :( If you know you and that person don't have enough in common to make it work? Would it be so wrong to introduce them and see what happens?

Then again...if things went sour, you've lost two friends, right? :( But....what if it COULD work out and they never knew? :( Seems even sadder....

I'm just a hopeless romantic, huh? Silly me :)
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In your hypothetical scenario, does the other person know that you don't want to be with them before you try to hook them up or is it just a round-about way of getting rid of them with a clear conscience and not trying to hurt their feelings by letting them down directly?
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#26
#26
BananaPie said:
You're not authorized to be in a tornado watch unless OK is under a tornado watch, you hear? :)
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It's in effect until 1 AM, but I'm actually enjoying the storm. I love storms as long as no one gets hurt. My doggie doesn't though...bless his little shivering heart. :)

It has been raining all day. I was working earlier today and opened the windows so I could listen to the rain falling on the leaves outside. It was a magical sound. :)

AND....no trick or treaters are coming around in the storm :D Not that many come out to the stix where I am anywho :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#27
#27
Donkeyfish07 said:
In your hypothetical scenario, does the other person know that you don't want to be with them before you try to hook them up or is it just a round-about way of getting rid of them with a clear conscience and not trying to hurt their feelings by letting them down directly?
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Hmmm...well, if I don't think something would work with someone, I'm usually pretty straightforward, but polite, about it. And I've never done anything like that before...so..

What I am talking about is genuinely believing something might actually develop between two people...seeing something special in both of them that might become something wonderful for them, you know?

Like I said...I'm just a silly romantic. They would probably hate one another and me too in the end. :D
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#28
#28
Jullianna said:
Hmmm.... Would someone really see it as deciding something for someone else? :( If you know you and that person don't have enough in common to make it work? Would it be so wrong to introduce them and see what happens?

Then again...if things went sour, you've lost two friends, right? :( But....what if it COULD work out and they never knew? :( Seems even sadder....

I'm just a hopeless romantic, huh? Silly me :)
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Well, but how would you really knew that they were the best couple? It depends on what the situation was. If I knew by experience that we weren't working together, even though he liked me and I liked him, then yeah..I would have no problem leting him go , and even introducing him to someone else who I sensed was better for him. But if there aren't any problems going on, even if we were incredibly different (do opposites attract? I don't know but I've heard stories lol) I would still give it a try to our relationship bedore ending it. Not sure if I'm explaining myself :p.

What I'm saying is that, I wouldn't end something with someone even if we were very different. In practice, I've never done this honestly, I've never oficially dated someone. I've found that I'm usually attracted to guys who share some of the same ideals I have...but then I've been attracted to guys that I never thought I would be attracted to. As long as the relationship is alive and healthy, I will try my best to keep it that way. If the relationship was dead then...MOVE ON.

Maybe I don't look like one, but I'm a romantic too haha. ;) That's why I believe compatibility can be very subjective.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#29
#29
There is a tornado on the ground in the next county east of me....pray for those folks please :(
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#30
#30
Jullianna said:
Hmmm...well, if I don't think something would work with someone, I'm usually pretty straightforward, but polite, about it. And I've never done anything like that before...so..

What I am talking about is genuinely believing something might actually develop between two people...seeing something special in both of them that might become something wonderful for them, you know?

Like I said...I'm just a silly romantic. They would probably hate one another and me too in the end. :D
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Well in that case, I say if they don't already know each other and you think they might click....why not? Can't hurt to try. I thought your question was more along the lines of, your interested in someone and they like you back but you think someone else might be a better match for them.....would you do it.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#31
#31
kayem77 said:
Well, but how would you really knew that they were the best couple? It depends on what the situation was. If I knew by experience that we weren't working together, even though he liked me and I liked him, then yeah..I would have no problem leting him go , and even introducing him to someone else who I sensed was better for him. But if there aren't any problems going on, even if we were incredibly different (do opposites attract? I don't know but I've heard stories lol) I would still give it a try to our relationship bedore ending it. Not sure if I'm explaining myself :p.

What I'm saying is that, I wouldn't end something with someone even if we were very different. In practice, I've never done this honestly, I've never oficially dated someone. I've found that I'm usually attracted to guys who share some of the same ideals I have...but then I've been attracted to guys that I never thought I would be attracted to. As long as the relationship is alive and healthy, I will try my best to keep it that way. If the relationship was dead then...MOVE ON.

Maybe I don't look like one, but I'm a romantic too haha. ;) That's why I believe compatibility can be very subjective.
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You couldn't really know...they probably couldn't know initially either I wouldn't think. I just think it's great when very special people find one another, that's all. :) And I find myself wanting to help make it happen. I know I have to resist, but.... :)

In the end the guy would probably be offended and feel brushed off, and the woman would likely feel like a secondhand fiddle...which would be really sad. :(

You know what "they" say...."No good deed goes unpunished", right? :D
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#32
#32
So we are not talking about two people already in a relationship? Because in that case, I would introduce them to each other too lol. Sorry if I was confused.
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#33
#33
Jullianna said:


In the end the guy would probably be offended and feel brushed off, and the woman would likely feel like a secondhand fiddle...which would be really sad. :(
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If you really think they would hit it off, you could be a little more tactful about it. You could have a little get together at your house and invite both of them (after you've already friend zoned the one you need to friend zone), just introduce them like you normally would if you weren't trying to hook them up. Maybe sparks will fly and if they do get together and it ends badly.....at least they won't blame you for it. lol
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#34
#34
kayem77 said:
So we are not talking about two people already in a relationship? Because in that case, I would introduce them to each other too lol. Sorry if I was confused.
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Nah...just talking about someone who likes you and you think they are great, but can't really see a future with them...and you know someone who might be great with them. :) If you are already in a relationship with them, I agree...that might be a little weird. :) Then again...I'm pretty weird. haha
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#35
#35
Donkeyfish07 said:
If you really think they would hit it off, you could be a little more tactful about it. You could have a little get together at your house and invite both of them (after you've already friend zoned the one you need to friend zone), just introduce them like you normally would if you weren't trying to hook them up. Maybe sparks will fly and if they do get together and it ends badly.....at least they won't blame you for it. lol
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That might work....and I could never tell them about CC and they would never see this thread and blame me if it doesn't work out :)
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#36
#36
Jullianna said:
Nah...just talking about someone who likes you and you think they are great, but can't really see a future with them...and you know someone who might be great with them. :) If you are already in a relationship with them, I agree...that might be a little weird. :) Then again...I'm pretty weird. haha
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Oh ok, well if we weren't together and I didn't see a future with him, then I would probably introduce him to someone who may be compatible with him, if I really thought that that other person would be a great match for him. I would be subtle about it though, because it can be awkward when someone is too obvious about it. ''Hey, meet Johnny, he is cute and Christian! Johnny, this is Mary! she is cute and Christian too ! I love you guys! so......talk, talk!! I'll leave you two alone! *smiles creepily and slightly pushes them towards each other before running away"

But if I saw him first, and everything was going great, he is mine! :p haha
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#37
#37
kayem77 said:
Oh ok, well if we weren't together and I didn't see a future with him, then I would probably introduce him to someone who may be compatible with him, if I really thought that that other person would be a great match for him. I would be subtle about it though, because it can be awkward when someone is too obvious about it. ''Hey, meet Johnny, he is cute and Christian! Johnny, this is Mary! she is cute and Christian too ! I love you guys! so......talk, talk!! I'll leave you two alone! *smiles creepily and slightly pushes them towards each other before running away"

But if I saw him first, and everything was going great, he is mine! :p haha
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DEFINITELY awkward. :)

I did something similar at a jr high dance once. I discretely asked a shy guy friend of mine if he would ask a cute shy friend of mine (did not tell her...don't know how she found out :( ) to dance. Her mom wouldn't let her talk with me after that. :( That seemed a little harsh....but...

I should know better than to meddle....*sigh*
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#38
#38
Jullianna said:
DEFINITELY awkward. :)

I did something similar at a jr high dance once. I discretely asked a shy guy friend of mine if he would ask a cute shy friend of mine (did not tell her...don't know how she found out :( ) to dance. Her mom wouldn't let her talk with me after that. :( That seemed a little harsh....but...

I should know better than to meddle....*sigh*
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Wow that seems like a harsh reaction. I don't see why that would be wrong. I've done it before haha but I try to make it seem like a casual suggestion (''hey she's cute and it seems she isn't dancing with anyone, just ask her!''). Meddling is permissible sometimes :D It gets awkward when it looks like you're forcing the relationship. There was this lady a few months ago that always talked about her son when I saw her. She even asked for my email and tried to set me up on a date with him. Not to mention he was like 13 years older than me. Now THAT was awkward.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#39
Aug 2, 2009
24,601
4,272
113
#39
Phia said:
Seriously this question could so make a good plot line for a good chick flick or romance novel. Like gosh..um..if I thought long and hard about it, and I genuinely thought the other girl was a better match for the guy, I'd consider it. But I'd pray about it first before I step aside. Geez definitely a hard question -_-
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Actually this is sort of what happened in the 1980's movie "Back To The Future" where young Michael J. Fox went back in time and ended up being liked by his own mom who was also a teenager at the time so he had to make her like this other guy instead.

 
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Jullianna

Guest
#40
#40
zeroturbulence said:
Actually this is sort of what happened in the 1980's movie "Back To The Future" where young Michael J. Fox went back in time and ended up being liked by his own mom who was also a teenager at the time so he had to make her like this other guy instead.

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In honor of this post, this song must be played :)

[video=youtube;_6nrTyoX2c0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6nrTyoX2c0[/video]
 
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