Would you or do you share bank accounts with your spouse?

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Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
10,827
1,919
113
Well, its unforunate that EmilR is trying a BDF in the laid back Singles Forum. I"m just going to put him on ignore. I've read too much already of his nonsense.

When my husband and I were first together, we had very little money. I was a student, I got some grants and scholarships, and he was at the lowest level training to get a bit higher in the organization he worked for. Money was so tight, and I admit, we fought about it all the time. It's easy to fight about money, when you have none. Because every penny needs to go for food, for fixing the car, for clothes, for a trip to see his family... etc

Then, he started moving up and I got a short term teaching job, during a recession. Since we were used to living on nothing, I put my pay in a separate account, and saved every penny I made. That was the downpayment for our first home, which was cheap, just after a recession. Meanwhile, I got pregnant, just as I got on again as a teacher, that made 4 kids! (I think I missed one somewhere in there!)

So, at 6 months, the Maternity Employment Insurance ran out, and I found a job teaching again. We were still using a joint bank account, and still fighting! Of course, having 4 kids, who were in church activiites, music lessons, and sports, used up almost everything I made. So, he got mad at me. Thought the kids should do nothing. (More about that later!). In the end, we split our accounts, and I took care of mine, and he barely took care of his. (He is good with his money now).

The fighting stopped, but there was still never any money left over. Then our oldest went to university, and I found out he was literally eating $600 a month in food. That is how much money I had left over at the end of the month, which seemed like a fortune! Gradually, the kids got older, I increased the amount I was working, till finally my daughter was in school and I went full time. But, she was figure skating, which is super expensive, paying for ice times, 3 or 4 coaches, and competitions and dresses. She did really well, 4 Golds, 2 Diamond Dances, Novice free skate, and then her coaching levels. That was when she started making really good money.

Meanwhile, my two hockey star boys were playing Major Junior, and one took his scholarship which paid for his whole university. Plus, they referreed both hockey (girls/boys) and ringette (my daughter was in it for a while.). So while it cost a lot to give them these perks, they worked hard and paid their own way after high school. (Never say out of school activities are a waste of time!)

Meanwhile, I got sick with RA. I went on disability in 1999, till I retired a few years ago. During that time, we went to a financial investment seminar through my husband's work. The man said it was imperative we had joint bank accounts, house and cars, RVs, etc, in both our names. The reason, is because if one passed suddenly, even if these things were provided for in the will, it can take a long time to probate the will, and in the meantime, you will have no money (unless you work) and no car.

So, we joined everything together. I finally had my name on both vehicles which was a pain, because we both had to go, if any changes have to be made. Hubby did all that before, but, I guess better safe than sorry.

By that time, we both were using internet banking. We joined all the accounts, so we were on both, but he was the only one who could access on-line his accounts (I would have to go to the bank to take money out of his accounts and vice versa.) The chequing account, we both can access on-line. I pay most of the bills, he puts his share of the bills into the chequing. That way, we both have control over our money, but in the event one of us passes, we just have to go to the bank, and combine the accounts with the death certificate.

Anyway, we never fought over money again, since the accounts were separated. We have the best of both worlds. Separate accounts, but with a little effort, they are all joint.

As for combining everything, some people do. My daughter married a doctor, she insisted on joint accounts. They put all their money in it, and it works for them. My parents had joint accounts for 63 years, till my father passed away. They only had trouble once, when my father wanted some money to buy my mom a gift, that she wouldn't know how much he spent. She was adamant that she control ALL the money! (She is OCD!) So, my father arranged to teach a summer session at university, and opened his own back account. My mom gave in, because he really only used it to buy her gifts.

I don't think there is a right way to work band accounts. And neither is there a set one, every Christian must follow. Sometimes, you have to work at it, to figure out what works for you as a couple. I trust my husband completely and he trusts me. But, we had to take the long way to figure out a way to stop fighting about money. We do discuss all major buying plans, and I usually put in half. Well, he bought the sailboat! But, it came with a disgusting wood trailer, so I made him get a new one, and the result, was I put in half the money, so I didn't have to put up with an ugly trailer on my driveway.

I guess the fact that our marriage has lasted 38 years, indicates that our fighting over money was pretty much on a surface level. I am fortunate, having a husband, I can trust totally, in everything. I won't even go into what an amazing handy man he is around the house! (By the way, he has to buy his own tools! LOL)
 
Jun 23, 2018
55
4
8
Watch too Yoda much, dude, you.

Bible also interpret you badly.

Learn need you English better.

Not at people preaching polite.

We really try to put up with abrasive newcomers and give them guidance on how to interact, but you don't seem to be inclined to accept instruction from anyone. I suspect this attitude doesn't work well in your real life, either. Sticking your figurative fingers in your ears while blathering on from your limited and self-righteous perspective brings no glory to Christ, and nobody else closer to Him.
That is true, I don't take instructions from humans BUT I TAKE INSTRUCTIONS ONLY FROM LORD CHRIST, AND NOT FROM OTHERS.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
12,381
6,531
113
That is true, I don't take instructions from humans BUT I TAKE INSTRUCTIONS ONLY FROM LORD CHRIST, AND NOT FROM OTHERS.
Fine, don't take advice, instruction, or guidance from others. You're free to continue being an insufferable jack-donkey. Perhaps someday you'll realize that some here are actually trying to help you.
 
Jun 23, 2018
55
4
8
Fine, don't take advice, instruction, or guidance from others. You're free to continue being an insufferable jack-donkey. Perhaps someday you'll realize that some here are actually trying to help you.
What guidens and from who. Better start and clean your nose. I realized it before 27 April 1989, when I saw the word "RACA" in Matthew 5:22.
What is the English word for the word "RACA" and from what language it come ? - and why your former king and god James of England did not translated correct in English ?
THEN, WHAT GUIDENS I CAN HAVE FROM YOU ?
 
Jun 23, 2018
55
4
8
You asked the English, not the Latin. I gave you the English word for tax, which is tax.

If you want Latin, I suggest you find an Italian.

The English word "TAX" come from Latin word "TAXARE", and in Latin came from other language.
Tax is not English word.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
12,381
6,531
113
What guidens and from who. Better start and clean your nose. I realized it before 27 April 1989, when I saw the word "RACA" in Matthew 5:22.
What is the English word for the word "RACA" and from what language it come ? - and why your former king and god James of England did not translated correct in English ?
THEN, WHAT GUIDENS I CAN HAVE FROM YOU ?
Unteachable. Insufferable. Bye.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
9,622
5,876
113
Well, its unforunate that EmilR is trying a BDF in the laid back Singles Forum. I"m just going to put him on ignore. I've read too much already of his nonsense.

When my husband and I were first together, we had very little money. I was a student, I got some grants and scholarships, and he was at the lowest level training to get a bit higher in the organization he worked for. Money was so tight, and I admit, we fought about it all the time. It's easy to fight about money, when you have none. Because every penny needs to go for food, for fixing the car, for clothes, for a trip to see his family... etc

Then, he started moving up and I got a short term teaching job, during a recession. Since we were used to living on nothing, I put my pay in a separate account, and saved every penny I made. That was the downpayment for our first home, which was cheap, just after a recession. Meanwhile, I got pregnant, just as I got on again as a teacher, that made 4 kids! (I think I missed one somewhere in there!)

So, at 6 months, the Maternity Employment Insurance ran out, and I found a job teaching again. We were still using a joint bank account, and still fighting! Of course, having 4 kids, who were in church activiites, music lessons, and sports, used up almost everything I made. So, he got mad at me. Thought the kids should do nothing. (More about that later!). In the end, we split our accounts, and I took care of mine, and he barely took care of his. (He is good with his money now).

The fighting stopped, but there was still never any money left over. Then our oldest went to university, and I found out he was literally eating $600 a month in food. That is how much money I had left over at the end of the month, which seemed like a fortune! Gradually, the kids got older, I increased the amount I was working, till finally my daughter was in school and I went full time. But, she was figure skating, which is super expensive, paying for ice times, 3 or 4 coaches, and competitions and dresses. She did really well, 4 Golds, 2 Diamond Dances, Novice free skate, and then her coaching levels. That was when she started making really good money.

Meanwhile, my two hockey star boys were playing Major Junior, and one took his scholarship which paid for his whole university. Plus, they referreed both hockey (girls/boys) and ringette (my daughter was in it for a while.). So while it cost a lot to give them these perks, they worked hard and paid their own way after high school. (Never say out of school activities are a waste of time!)

Meanwhile, I got sick with RA. I went on disability in 1999, till I retired a few years ago. During that time, we went to a financial investment seminar through my husband's work. The man said it was imperative we had joint bank accounts, house and cars, RVs, etc, in both our names. The reason, is because if one passed suddenly, even if these things were provided for in the will, it can take a long time to probate the will, and in the meantime, you will have no money (unless you work) and no car.

So, we joined everything together. I finally had my name on both vehicles which was a pain, because we both had to go, if any changes have to be made. Hubby did all that before, but, I guess better safe than sorry.

By that time, we both were using internet banking. We joined all the accounts, so we were on both, but he was the only one who could access on-line his accounts (I would have to go to the bank to take money out of his accounts and vice versa.) The chequing account, we both can access on-line. I pay most of the bills, he puts his share of the bills into the chequing. That way, we both have control over our money, but in the event one of us passes, we just have to go to the bank, and combine the accounts with the death certificate.

Anyway, we never fought over money again, since the accounts were separated. We have the best of both worlds. Separate accounts, but with a little effort, they are all joint.

As for combining everything, some people do. My daughter married a doctor, she insisted on joint accounts. They put all their money in it, and it works for them. My parents had joint accounts for 63 years, till my father passed away. They only had trouble once, when my father wanted some money to buy my mom a gift, that she wouldn't know how much he spent. She was adamant that she control ALL the money! (She is OCD!) So, my father arranged to teach a summer session at university, and opened his own back account. My mom gave in, because he really only used it to buy her gifts.

I don't think there is a right way to work band accounts. And neither is there a set one, every Christian must follow. Sometimes, you have to work at it, to figure out what works for you as a couple. I trust my husband completely and he trusts me. But, we had to take the long way to figure out a way to stop fighting about money. We do discuss all major buying plans, and I usually put in half. Well, he bought the sailboat! But, it came with a disgusting wood trailer, so I made him get a new one, and the result, was I put in half the money, so I didn't have to put up with an ugly trailer on my driveway.

I guess the fact that our marriage has lasted 38 years, indicates that our fighting over money was pretty much on a surface level. I am fortunate, having a husband, I can trust totally, in everything. I won't even go into what an amazing handy man he is around the house! (By the way, he has to buy his own tools! LOL)
Thanks for sharing.

Very interesting insight on the pros and cons of sharing or not sharing bank accounts:)
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,596
1,572
113
Germany
The English word "TAX" come from Latin word "TAXARE", and in Latin came from other language.
Tax is not English word.
Tax is not an englisch word? I pray that God may instruct you to open a dictionary and see that you are wrong
 
T

toinena

Guest
From a linguist's point of view, language contact has existed since the dawn of languages. It might be that tax derives from taxare, but ugly derives from Old Norse uggligr and ugga. That means to be dreaded and to dread. Both meanings can be applied to this moronic discussion.

And if I ever get married to a person that says Satan only attacks women and try to teach English to native English speakers (I am luckily not one of them), I would not trust my bank account to be shared
 

posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
25,985
7,171
113
We share one account just as we do practically everything. We don't buy separate groceries, lol

We're 'as one flesh' and I don't think of money or possessions as 'mine or hers' any more than, for example this car or those shoes are 'mine' because I'm the one who usually drives it or wears them. If we only had one car it'd be 'ours' without question.

I imagine deciding whose account to pay which bills from would be a big headache if a married couple kept all their money separate from each other. To me that sounds like being roommates, not husband and wife...??
 

posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
25,985
7,171
113
Yes perfect education, in drugs, rapes, killings, and so on.

When I lived in Rock Hill, South Carolina, every Monday I was going at Winthrop University Library and I saw all the time cases of emty cans of beer. I never saw like that before in my life in front of a University. That is your education, alcohol,drugs, fun and entertiment.
Lol,

Nevermind the enormous library in front of me, there's an empty beer can outside. Here is evidence of the real purpose of this place!
 

posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
25,985
7,171
113
They only had trouble once, when my father wanted some money to buy my mom a gift, that she wouldn't know how much he spent
Yes, haha around holidays and birthdays sometimes i have to figure out how to come up with cash, so that my 'giving may be done in secret'

Its not an unhappy predicament to have before me to solve :)
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
9,622
5,876
113
I’ll be serious for a minute and come at this at another angle I don’t think people are considering.

Say one spouse is HORRIBLE with money, I mean- awful, spends money, doesn’t balance a checking account, kind of free wheeling. This spouse KNOWS he or she is awful with money. Say the other spouse is GOOD with money and a responsible adult. We’ll say the other is just not that good at adulting.

What would you guys think if the responsible spouse took the financial reins and had the bulk of the money in account where he or she took care of the bills, and the irresponsible spouse have a little checking account to be freewheeling. I don’t mean spend thousands of dollars a month on whatever, but maybe a couple of hundred.

Kind of like the irresponsible spouse has an allowance. The responsible spouse could deposit a couple hundred in the play account every month, and the irresponsible one can do what he or she likes with the allowance.

This would work for me, as I am not that good with money and be a load off my mind if my husband would take control and just give me an allowance every month.
You can also take the reigns in this very example, for a joint account? It just means that whoever is the responsible one, has access to manage the account, but it’s still one account.

Or maybe that kind of authorisation only applys here where I live. 🤔
 
L

LaVieEnRose

Guest
You can also take the reigns in this very example, for a joint account? It just means that whoever is the responsible one, has access to manage the account, but it’s still one account.

Or maybe that kind of authorisation only applys here where I live. 🤔
Well, when my sister suddenly died at the age of 26, we found out how important it is for everyone to have another name on their accounts. For instance, my mother’s name is on my accounts and my name is on her accounts.

Neither one of us mess with each other’s financial business. It is just there in case one of us dies suddenly or gets sick. She was recently afraid she may have to go to the hospital (she didn’t), but she showed me where her bills and checkbooks were in case.

You can have a person’s name on an account without them doing any business on the account.
 
L

LaVieEnRose

Guest
“Ain’t” got to be an English word?😁
We know the Apostle Paul was a Southerner, he often wrote “you all”.

Do you remember seeing those bumper stickers “American by birth, Southern by the Grace of God”?
 
J

Jennie-Mae

Guest
We know the Apostle Paul was a Southerner, he often wrote “you all”.

Do you remember seeing those bumper stickers “American by birth, Southern by the Grace of God”?
Reckon they oughta put a big old “y’all” into the Holy Bible to really rub it in😂.

Lol, I recall that, like I recall folks saying “damyankee”. Lol