and you know what, walk 34 years in my shoes you will be as well.
so watch what you say to others and how you treat others, you could very well be creating another me.
with that said, I think i will go and find something to eat and wait for death to get another day closer.
Life is often unjust and many who come into this world do not come into a world with a loving family. Some come into this world into an abusive dysfunctional environment.. And yes many succumb to the environment and in an attempt to defend themselves they become hard and mean.. But it really is a choice in the long run if we stay in that state of mind.. We are not hopeless victims totally unable to break the chains of our past. If we deeply yearn to become more loving, gentler and kinder people we can improve a little each day. We will still be fighting the memories of our past, The scars will always be there deep within.. That negative voice inside will often well up from that pit of darkness and will whisper it's cancer in our ears.. But we Can fight it, we can fight our own tendencies and do our best to be that person we know it would be better to be.. I was not born into an idealistic environment either. A lot of people wind out coming into this world in less then an ideal setting.. But we have to have hope that we can be something more then what life has dealt us.. We got to FIGHT it.. Fight the good fight with ourselves.. I have found great help from God in my own struggle.. No i'm not perfect and never will be.. But i know i can be less bad.. I know i can be a better with effort.. And i know that God helps me..
""" and wait for death to get another day closer.""""
Yes i have thought that thought myself, I have longed for death to be free from this world.. But i know God does not want me dead yet.. I have asked Him to take me away.. but i trust in His will on the matter.. I hope you do or will as well..
All Praise The Ancient of Days