I'm too in my head...

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Jan 18, 2019
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#1
I feel very weird with friends socially. I’m okay with joking at times, but I don’t feel like that’s all there is to me. And the more truthful I am about myself, the less I want to joke because either I’m shy or embarrassed.

I used to want a best friend I can talk to about more things, but I feel selfish in doing that since God is already there for me, so it’s hard for me to seek friends out and talk to who I want to, because I feel like I’d be a bother.

Whenever I think deeply on God, how good he is, and on being grateful, my mind is so fixated, I feel distant compared to other friends. I have felt very self-absorbed, and in my head for a while and it seems hard to love others at times. I think more about my problems than others, but i know that caring for others is something i should do. Is enjoying God's presence when I should be thinking more about how to help others selfish?

When I see someone having a rough time, I get moved with emotion and I pray for God to give them peace and let them know that He loves them in their hard time. Other than that, I’m learning with God on how to live…

What should I do to be more caring to others and less self absorbed?
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
5,576
739
113
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Arizona
#2
I definitely appreciate your openness and transparency.

I know I deal with that sort of back and forth of internal struggle. What I’ve learned is that obviously we need a relationship with God at the core of us, but how can we show that love that God has shown for us if we don’t reach out?

He wants us to be in the world and not of it. But still in it. Make any sense?
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,784
5,434
113
#3
You sound very sincere and to be honest, I believe more than you know can relate. I think since whereever we go, there we are, it can be challenging to completely die to ourselves, especially if you are introspective. It sounds like you are.

The fact that you get emotional and pray for others points to a selfless and humble heart. I feel like if you keep opening up and being friendly to others, God will bring you wonderful connections and great friends.

Maybe you just don't like small talk. I do not know but as someone reading your thoughts you have shared, I think you seem like a very likeable person who has much to offer. Hear this....You are NOT a bother!!! You are a blessing from God, period and exclamation point!!!!

I think many can relate to overthinking. I know that I do.

Hugs and God Bless. Thanks for opening up.
 
Jan 18, 2019
37
31
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#4
You sound very sincere and to be honest, I believe more than you know can relate. I think since whereever we go, there we are, it can be challenging to completely die to ourselves, especially if you are introspective. It sounds like you are.

The fact that you get emotional and pray for others points to a selfless and humble heart. I feel like if you keep opening up and being friendly to others, God will bring you wonderful connections and great friends.

Maybe you just don't like small talk. I do not know but as someone reading your thoughts you have shared, I think you seem like a very likeable person who has much to offer. Hear this....You are NOT a bother!!! You are a blessing from God, period and exclamation point!!!!

I think many can relate to overthinking. I know that I do.

Hugs and God Bless. Thanks for opening up.
It just feels so hard to not think of myself as a jerk at times... I have a coldness to myself, sometimes feeling lifeless to the world and sometimes i get so egotistical... Humble and selfless are things i want to try to be because God wants me to be, but i'm not like how i should be.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,784
5,434
113
#5
It just feels so hard to not think of myself as a jerk at times... I have a coldness to myself, sometimes feeling lifeless to the world and sometimes i get so egotistical... Humble and selfless are things i want to try to be because God wants me to be, but i'm not like how i should be.
Have you considered working in a foodbank or finding some other volunteer job? It can help in these areas.

Ego is something many, if not most, contend with, either in pride, selfishness, insecurity, guilt, or self pity. I think it is one of satan's best tools.


I am encouraged that it bothers you, though, because that is how growth works, right?

Again if it concerns you, which it does, maybe that is God pricking your heart. And a pricked heart points to a humble soft heart. I find that hopeful.

I am so glad you are not content with the flesh wrapped up in ego. Give yourself a break, none of us have arrived my friend. We all have work to do, thanks be to God the greatest worker of all dwells with helping us.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.
2 Corinthians 9:8 ESV
 

Silverwings

Senior Member
Jul 27, 2016
1,030
241
63
#6
I feel very weird with friends socially. I’m okay with joking at times, but I don’t feel like that’s all there is to me. And the more truthful I am about myself, the less I want to joke because either I’m shy or embarrassed.

I used to want a best friend I can talk to about more things, but I feel selfish in doing that since God is already there for me, so it’s hard for me to seek friends out and talk to who I want to, because I feel like I’d be a bother.

Whenever I think deeply on God, how good he is, and on being grateful, my mind is so fixated, I feel distant compared to other friends. I have felt very self-absorbed, and in my head for a while and it seems hard to love others at times. I think more about my problems than others, but i know that caring for others is something i should do. Is enjoying God's presence when I should be thinking more about how to help others selfish?

When I see someone having a rough time, I get moved with emotion and I pray for God to give them peace and let them know that He loves them in their hard time. Other than that, I’m learning with God on how to live…

What should I do to be more caring to others and less self absorbed?
This might be helpful:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...01703/your-career-and-the-tyranny-the-shoulds
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
701
451
63
#7
eh, I second volunteering. I prayed for humility since I was young...it's a lifelong process of submitting to his will and to abide and live your life as a living sacrifice. It doesn't happen overnight.

I've stressed about it...quite a bit over what feels like ages.



In any case, understand that you are a vessel. There are simple needs that all of us can fill...like giving people food, clothing and water. Sometimes it's just being a willing pair of hands to help with distribution. Children's ministry is also a great thing to get involved in if you find you love children. Beyond that, I find that there are unique needs that each individual can fill in the body but I can't tell you what those are. It has to do with your giftings and so forth but "unpacking" that takes time. It helps to focus on the basics quite a bit. I'll admit that I need refining in this area. Instead of focusing on the giant thing of what to do for others...focus on the small ways that you can assist. Be cautious when people ask for help, judge whether or not it lines up with what the Lord would have you do. Sometimes people can take advantage of you...discernment is a practiced skill.


Love to hear back on what you end up doing :)
 

tasha66

Well-known member
Sep 10, 2019
600
513
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#8
M, see my other post.
You might benefit from some mental health counselling too.
Might be a good idea to see a trusted doctor and/or mental health professional to have a chat firstly, and get it all off of your chest.
I believe you are very young, and having many doubts & questioning everything when you are young is normal.
Please speal to somebody soon.