Agree., we can't live in the land of "if only" The older I get the more reason to avoid regret and the things that point to it. So I did read the OPs opening sad story but decided not to read the other stories today. The Bible says to "press on" and look forward and not live in the past.
(This one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead) Phil.3:13b
We can't go back and fix things; tomorrow is gone and we have the gift of today. So as a good "conservative".... remember the lessons learned from past mistakes and foolish choices only so not to do them again., and step forward today (press on) in the freedom Jesus has died to give us and keep on daily learning about Jesus because He is our life. Phil.3:10-18
[SUP]10 [/SUP][For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [[SUP][
a][/SUP]which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope]
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11 [/SUP]That if possible I may attain to the [[SUP][
b][/SUP]spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].
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12 [/SUP]Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp)
and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me
and made me His own.
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13 [/SUP]I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured
and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,
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14 [/SUP]I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward.
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15 [/SUP]So let those [of us] who are spiritually mature
and full-grown have this mind
and hold these convictions; and if in any respect you have a different attitude of mind, God will make that clear to you also. Amplified Bible