All aboard the “I’m a nobody in this world’s eyes” train

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Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
3,124
3,531
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#21
Here is a meaningful and encouraging sermon by Steve Lawson about how God often uses "Nobodies" to fulfill His great plans.

Thanks for this , I just watched it , came at the right time :)...
...xox...
 
Jun 6, 2020
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#23
No job.
No career.
No car.
Living at home.
Overweight.
Lazy.
Unmotivated.

No I’m not describing your daughter’s 16 year old, I’m describing 29 year old me. In the eyes of this world I am a loser. But thank God that He doesn’t look with the worlds eyes.

Still, it’s hard knowing you disappoint so many, including yourself. Yes part of this is self pity, but I know I’m not the only one dealing with this.

Anyone else having a hard time keeping from comparing yourself to the world’s (and sometimes those around us) version of success? Young and old?
Creative title. 🙂

-I resigned from the last job I held in September of 2018.
-That job was a daycare worker. (High paying, right?!)
-I proceeded to think about looking for a new job. I've never been to college.
-I firmly believe God revealed to me through 3 different means that I was to remain at home (i.e. not get a job) indefinitely. (This was a hard pill to swallow, because I did not want to look the part of a fool. #pride)

I've had a hard time telling people when they ask me what I am doing in life. "Well, I'm just sponging off my parents and eating chips on the sofa!" Lol, No, I don't say that. There are of course weekly volunteer things I've done and Bible classes I go to, etc. But it has been a trial having to fight those accusatory thoughts.

I am reminded of the things God asked Ezekiel to do in chapters 4 &5 of the same book. He probably looked so strange!!

There may be some who read this and call into question my conviction about what I believe God told me to do. We must be willing to look like fools to some because we serve an audience of One. This is one lesson I am learning on my ride through life on the "Nobody" train. 🙂 🚂🚃🚃🚃

Artsie, you're not alone, my friend. This road can be a difficult one at times. ❤️ You are respected and valued by me, Sister!

("Nobody" by Casting Crowns is going through my head right now.🎶)
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
2,664
847
113
#24
No job.
No career.
No car.
Living at home.
Overweight.
Lazy.
Unmotivated.

No I’m not describing your daughter’s 16 year old, I’m describing 29 year old me. In the eyes of this world I am a loser. But thank God that He doesn’t look with the worlds eyes.

Still, it’s hard knowing you disappoint so many, including yourself. Yes part of this is self pity, but I know I’m not the only one dealing with this.

Anyone else having a hard time keeping from comparing yourself to the world’s (and sometimes those around us) version of success? Young and old?
ArtsieSteph, I’m hoping things have changed for the better since you first posted this. If not, I’m going to give you something helpful. Sometimes we need a warm hug and a shoulder to cry on, and someone telling us it’s going to be ok. Sometimes we need a loving kick in the butt. I’ve read the former, this is the latter. Judging by your name you are...an artist? I’m in construction and see blueprints every day. There is an image of the finished project, followed with all of the information and designs on how to get there. If we do nothing then that’s what we get. If everybody does there own thing then a product far from the design is the result. Make yourself a blueprint of your life. Make sure to include all aspects physical, financial and spiritual. Then design how to start from a foundation to completion. I can tell you when we start a building first thing is a lot of dirt needs to be removed to make room for the footings and foundation. Sometimes you have to dig deep to get to a solid base. Remove things from your life that distract you from things you should be doing. Every day on a project there are setbacks and problems to solve. So solve them. Sometimes it means you have to go backwards and push back the finish date. Don’t get discouraged and don’t give up! I know you have what it takes to build a life you can be proud of. Sometimes you have to subcontract. If you need a personal trainer then get one. In Canada we actually have grants available for things like that. I don’t know if you do. Regardless, how much time have you already spent living a life unfulfilled? Don’t let another year go by. Design your life, build your dream!
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
1,660
1,114
113
#25
No job.
No career.
No car.
Living at home.
Overweight.
Lazy.
Unmotivated.

No I’m not describing your daughter’s 16 year old, I’m describing 29 year old me. In the eyes of this world I am a loser. But thank God that He doesn’t look with the worlds eyes.

Still, it’s hard knowing you disappoint so many, including yourself. Yes part of this is self pity, but I know I’m not the only one dealing with this.

Anyone else having a hard time keeping from comparing yourself to the world’s (and sometimes those around us) version of success? Young and old?
Yes definitely. My list has a lot of the same things (85%)

I don't really know what to say about it except at present except that for me it's mostly constantly keeping the world standard and conforming "at bay" and then on top of it other believer's "view" of what my life should look like. Then, on one hand, could everyone be right and I just suck? No.

but sometimes that's all there is...no. It doesn't ever feel true at the core of me...because basically that'd be me saying that the Lord makes mistakes and some very improper thought processes could be translated and projected on him. Sometimes I complain and "whinge" (almost a needling whine...cross btwn an unnecessary keening/whining). Semantics...eurgh.

Anyway...I think it's annoying based off the feedback I get in prayer. So I examine myself according to scriptures that say quite the opposite. The one in mind at present: "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ..." Philippians 1:6

Worldly stuff doesn't matter too much. I know that people focus on money and contributing to the "honeycomb" of wealth, stability, etc etc. but doesn't Jesus just boil it down to food and clothing as a necessity? Anything else is sort of superfluous "directly". Indirectly it is often relevant but not as much as we think.

How unimportant it is has been continually worked out in me. In regard to physical needs that is...things that money buys somewhere.

Unless you somehow come across wild cotton and learn the way of the forest...well...I'm not going into a long-winded hypothetical, but perhaps that could be useful sometime if anyone might find that helpful.

Regardless the wherewithal to find those things in nature is at his providence presuming you were in such a place in this country to be a forest dweller, obeying all applicable laws and surviving.

What is important? You and I definitely have something to give back to the physical but it may not be convenient to us based off the standards of others. It could represent an indirect draw (by proxy) to press in to the presence of the Lord and know his will for our lives. I'm uncertain...it does press me and every time it reaches a breaking point, I dig in to the Lord, whether I want to or not...I need to. If that's what brought that about, err...that's his discretion.

Well...I don't have much more to say. Suffice it to say...he knows these things about you and it's uncomfortable, but this world isn't our home. However we scrape by is how we do (with scriptural standards obviously paramount). I'm realizing for myself it boils down to trust and patience as a root with perhaps leaning to much to my own understanding and not walking by faith a small bit also. It's a hard thing to swallow, and what all it means I haven't fully grasped, but anything that is not by faith is sin.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
1,660
1,114
113
#26
Wow ironically I already posted on this thread...that's a first for me that I forgot. I was reading back through, oh this is so familiar...I get to a point where I'm reading a post and ready to leave a reaction and I have to undo it...RIGHT! I've been here before.

but also, I am here again, a bit further along I have gathered. The job thing is just around the corner and I'm going on a long walk in a few because I want some chips and don't want to eat a full meal at present (alas), so at least that's some exercise :)

I do have a car, but the weather is so pretty and my shifter is broken so I have to shift manually under the hood, which is irritating, and reasonably dangerous at night lol.
 

breno785au

Senior Member
Jul 23, 2013
5,985
744
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Australia
#27
I like simplicity... :)

No job. - yeah well, somewhat important if you want money, God can look after that.
No career. - Meh, careers are over rated
No car. - big deal, cars cost money, I don't like them personally
Living at home. - that can be a good thing
Overweight. - you can do something about that
Lazy. - you can do something about that
Unmotivated. - it's tough to get the ball rolling, you can something about that.

What else ya got?
 
Dec 23, 2019
87
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godfoundme.weebly.com
#28
Hi ArtsieSteph! :)

You’re right that thankfully God doesn’t look with the world’s eyes. We may be “nobody” to the world, but somebody to God. I wouldn’t use the term “loser” with yourself or with anyone else. We’re human and life’s circumstances can unfold in ways we wouldn’t have imagined for ourselves or others. We can be our own worst critics as well, but we should change our perspective. Be less concerned with the things of the world and have more consideration for what God wants. The world can think whatever they want, but we know who is the only One we have to answer to. Christians become children of God, but we’re not perfect. We’re not promised a life without struggles either.

You asked if anyone else has struggled with comparing their life to others’ versions of success. I’m sure many (if not all) have. I for example never cared about being rich nor being some competitive executive with fancy material things. I just wanted a career I’d be happy in. However, I’ve struggled a lot in the path I chose and through it all God’s taught me many lessons. I’ve been scared, have cried many tears, but it’s all brought me closer to Him. I don’t know what the future holds in store, but I know I’m where I need to be right now. The world may not understand, but what’s important is that God does. I’m just along for the bumpy ride LOL Life definitely has its ups and downs, but God has grown my trust in Him in ways that wouldn’t have happened without those struggles.

You said it’s hard knowing you disappoint so many, including yourself. I agree and think it’s something we’ll all experience from time to time because nobody but God is perfect. However, we shouldn’t stay stuck when we “fail.” We all make mistakes and fall, but we get up and try again. What can you do to change? I don’t think you can please everybody all the time. Someone will always find fault with you. But as long as you are working toward being the person you want, don’t let their opinions get to you. Do everything as if to the Lord and not man (Colossians 3:23).

The things on your list are relative. The American dream to have a career and live on your own doesn’t exist in other cultures. In other countries generations of families live together and it’s normal. I don’t think it’s shameful. It’s normal in my own family and I wouldn’t look down on anybody else for it. You may also get a job and work hard but it doesn’t have to be a career. How can you best serve God and others? Would the career you might consider leave you time to serve? If not, maybe that’s in part why that hasn’t worked out so far?

Once you find a job or potential career path, then you can save up for a car, your own place, etc. But none of those are things you need. Most people have shelter, but some are homeless. The Bible says, “Foxes have dens and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head” (Matthew 8:20). Do your parents enjoy having you? Then don’t feel guilty for staying. Enjoy them while they’re alive and there. Help them out with things at home. If they are not the most welcoming to put it lightly, then by all means when the time comes and the circumstances allow you can move out then. Nobody should make you feel bad for things out of your control. If it was hard to find a job before, it’s even harder now with all the businesses that temporarily closed and reduced their staff. Hang in there.

You listed “overweight, lazy, unmotivated.” I don’t personally know you, but I wouldn’t choose those words to describe you. You seem kind and if you’re “artsy” then I’d add creative as well :) For the first thing, eat healthy and exercise. I know it’s easier said than done, but unless there are other causes like a thyroid gland issue, if you want to change that you can. I know of a couple that lost weight together doing Zumba. It’s possible and can be done in a fun way. And we can all feel lazy or unmotivated at one point or another (especially during this long quarantine…), but it should never define us. Is this a constant feeling? What’s at the root of those feelings? How can we take steps to change? Pray for God to help as it says those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength (Isaiah 40:31).

Take care <3
 
Jan 4, 2019
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#29
No job.
No career.
No car.
Living at home.
Overweight.
Lazy.
Unmotivated.

No I’m not describing your daughter’s 16 year old, I’m describing 29 year old me. In the eyes of this world I am a loser. But thank God that He doesn’t look with the worlds eyes.

Still, it’s hard knowing you disappoint so many, including yourself. Yes part of this is self pity, but I know I’m not the only one dealing with this.

Anyone else having a hard time keeping from comparing yourself to the world’s (and sometimes those around us) version of success? Young and old?
I am having a very difficult time. I'm disappointed in myself, and also feel that God is disappointed in me. Does anyone else struggle with this?
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
3,126
1,522
113
mywebsite.us
#30
I am having a very difficult time. I'm disappointed in myself, and also feel that God is disappointed in me. Does anyone else struggle with this?
I am pretty sure most Christians probably deal with disappointment from time to time. I don't know how many struggle with it.

Are you suggesting that your disappointment is associated with the items in the list you quoted?
 
Jul 6, 2020
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#31
Pray for Gods will in your life.
He will give you a vision and a passion for it.
 
Jan 4, 2019
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72
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#32
I am pretty sure most Christians probably deal with disappointment from time to time. I don't know how many struggle with it.

Are you suggesting that your disappointment is associated with the items in the list you quoted?
No I'm not specifically disappointed with the things on the list. It is other stuff.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
1,660
1,114
113
#33
No I'm not specifically disappointed with the things on the list. It is other stuff.
Umm, if you want to give specifics perhaps there might be more I could assist with but yes I have felt that way myself.

If you have a bible around read what Nathan said to David. Pay close attention to each word...there are some things I haven't ever heard discussed about that moment in scripture through all the times I've heard David mentioned in church, on these forums, in conversation (other than myself) it has not been mentioned. Specifically a mentality, but that's not the only place in scripture that this mentality is laid out.

I'd prefer you find it because it makes me sad for whatever reason and I'm a bit private about stuff like that. For a lot of us it IS very private, we aren't a King of a country with a scriptural account following us. I liked what one of the above posters said

We must be willing to look like fools to some because we serve an audience of One.



I believe we can indeed disappoint the Lord, but not easily. So if you are sensing that he is disappointed with you, are you certain it is not the accuser? If it is you then it is a heart issue most likely. That is something to process through and pray about. Perhaps if you know of a good counselor (friend, pastor, parent, vocational) I would discuss it with them and of course pray. If we are intentionally hardening our heart there is a problem that can be addressed.

Not to give you encouragement that it's alright to disappoint the Lord, but almost never does it just "stand for a lifetime" Just be patient with yourself as he is patient with you. Do not let the enemy beat you up in abject disappointment (even if the original source were the Lord). From my experience, the enemy often clouds the issue and "agitates" it after the fact. I don't think I can state this directly for you but for myself I failed in let's say "Area A" and I didn't even try really...I wanted him to undergird me and make it easy but maybe I was just lazy...I may be a disappointment in "Area A" but across the board? No. So also, we are continually being sanctified and in a year or 10 you may be no longer disappointed in "Area A" but what you should NOT do is think back to the past that the Lord was disappointed and second guess your current contentedness. Pressing on to that which is ahead. Don't dwell too much on failures and disappointments...mourn, repent, and MOVE onward!

You have to make a choice to start walking again after repentance and you have to choose to repent. You can get stuck in the mourning phase because well...somethings are a pretty steep loss, but he holds the past..."we" do not, so it is best to not try to live there.

Hopefully some of this is helpful, it's difficult to explain some of these concepts in so few words what might take me 15 minutes in a podcast to really lay out my heart but if you want me to expand by the grace of God I will do so :)
 
Jan 4, 2019
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#34
This is extremely helpful. And I would be interested in talking with you further via private message. The things that I am struggling with are personal. I feel that I have been stuck in a mourning period for over a year. I am having a hard time moving past it.

Would you be interested in chatting privately?
 

Going_Nowhere

Well-known member
Nov 10, 2019
1,462
627
113
#35
Yeah....living in hopelessness and despair isn't fun. I would know.


My life is one big disappointment. I myself am one big disappointment.


Happiness? Contentment? None of that here....just a person who is barely living and has nothing to live for. That describes me perfectly.


My life is a joke. And I'm not laughing.