dating a non christian?

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WineRose

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2017
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Row A, Column 9
#21
When my dad and my mom got married, he was a Christian and she was a Buddhist. Now, my dad is still a Christian, and my mom is a bit more on the agnostic side, really. Despite this, the relationship and bond between my parents are among the strongest and happiest ones I have seen in my life. They very rarely quarrel with each other, and the last time they really had any fight was back when I was still a small child (meaning almost a whole decade ago), and even that eventually came to a happy resolution. I always see them laugh and smile when they're with each other, and they've recently reached the 20 year anniversary of their marriage. Neither of them try to force their beliefs on each other, and their different religions never hurt their relationship in any way. So, yes. With the right person, it can work.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
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#22
Usually women check out on the first date when I tell them I'm a Christian and actually believe the bible. That tends to solve problems before they start.
 

Crimson_Lark

Senior Member
Apr 17, 2012
207
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#23
This is the most accurate and insightful post on dating a non-christian I've ever seen. If I could pin it I would. Thank you!

I never want to do it again, I pray to God for the resolve not to never subject myself to it again. Don't date them:

You can't convert them, I've tried

I thought, I wasn't so bad when I was an unbeliever and I eventually converted, so why can't they? You can tell them all about The Truth and they might even agree with you, but they won't retain it or have any interest in it. You realize there was a reason you became/are a believer, something you can't give to others or show them how to find or develop. There conscience is weak, and there lesser impulses are strong, low levels of Holy Spirit.

They do not understand right from wrong

You will be periodically shocked at how self-centered, immature,confused, and misguided they are. The worst part is The Bible has no effect on them, so you can't even reason with them. If you show a Christian a verse that shuns their behavior, they can't argue with The Bible and should be willing to change. With an unbeliever it becomes a battle of emotions, and they will lie and justify their behavior any way they can reason with their worldly faculties.

Worldly Desires Come First, lying, manipulating, anything is permitted

They have no Higher beliefs, all they have is lower ones. There is no higher authority to tell them what they are doing is wrong, so all their actions become about getting what they want. Money, sex, material desires, idol worship, you may be placed below or on equal importance with these things. Your love or hope for love will leave you vulnerable to being manipulated and lied to.

Nothing is Sacred

If you want your marriage and intimacy to be beyond the physical, they have little reason to treat it as such. The divorce, infidelity and single parent rates are high largely to do with God not being involved in these matters. When everything is boiled down to tradition, social pressure, and instinct, you lose everything important and what keeps this things stable and meaningful. Do you want your children to be Christians? An unbeliever parent will test and confuse them.

They have no Way, Truth, or Light

When they experience hardship or are tested, they do not have Christ. They may become depressed, irritable, irrational, angry. When they are tested they may be broken or resort to sin, and who knows if they will find their way out of it. Who knows how they will handle aging or mortality? Will they put their body above their soul they may or may not believe in? Will they take the mark of the beast or adopt liberal policies you don't agree with? Sin will enter your world through them.

Do you want someone to go to Church and Talk about The Bible with?

If you want your faith to be a large part of your life, and beyond a "hobby", you need your partner to actively participate and help you grow. An unbeliever will distract you from your commitments and duties, may even try to get you to abandoned them.
1 Corinthians 15:33

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

And you will also be around there heathen friends too.

God doesn't want you to do this, It's very clear in The Bible


Magenta already said it


2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?



They are "great" unbelievers out there you are attracted to, and Christians you are not attracted to. A healthy and strong relationship goes beyond just attraction alone, especially with time, and you need God present in it. You need to find someone you are attracted to that is also a devout Christian, then maybe in this sinful and corrupted world your relationship can stand a chance and you can experience lasting love. And you need all the help you can get to save your soul, you don't want to be attached to a sinner and dragged to hell with them.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
5,788
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Arizona
#24
Total dealbreaker for me. Why be unequally yolkrd and see someone you love run headlong into hell?
 
Nov 13, 2018
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#25
I’m currently dating a non Christian who at first did not respect most of my values. I’m proud to say he’s now on board with most things and can at least respect them and not argue over it. It definitely did cause a lot of pain and doubt in the relationship at the start. Sometimes I think I wished I had never gone into it. Although he still may not be a Christian now, he has good moral values
 
Aug 12, 2013
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#26
When my dad and my mom got married, he was a Christian and she was a Buddhist. Now, my dad is still a Christian, and my mom is a bit more on the agnostic side, really. Despite this, the relationship and bond between my parents are among the strongest and happiest ones I have seen in my life. They very rarely quarrel with each other, and the last time they really had any fight was back when I was still a small child (meaning almost a whole decade ago), and even that eventually came to a happy resolution. I always see them laugh and smile when they're with each other, and they've recently reached the 20 year anniversary of their marriage. Neither of them try to force their beliefs on each other, and their different religions never hurt their relationship in any way. So, yes. With the right person, it can work.
no wonder it went easy, she was a Buddhist. Buddhist's don't fight with me either, but it's still not a good idea to get married to someone you know who is not living for the same thing you are. Therefor, you are supposed to be partners, yet you both are NOT working as partners for Christ. What a sad shame if you ask me. Even if things go peacefully. It also adds more of a chance of the children wanting to be a Buddhist rather than both parents leading the children to Christ.
 
Aug 12, 2013
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#27
I don't find that it is a sin to marry a non Christian or to date them, but I would never advise or say it's even a decent idea to marry a non Christian. And I would always say dating is a bad idea all the time, it's highly risky and everyone I know who has ever dated more than 2 people has at least been cheated on or had fornication at some point. That's often the most common issues with dating and you don't have to date to marry someone. I married without dating.

As I posted on a previous message here; if you marry someone who doesn't live for God, who isn't filled with the Holy Spirit, the thing to worry about or be concerned of isn't that you will argue or divorce of religious reasons, it's more of the direction that person will take you, influence you, change you (because you will both change each other in some way realizing it or not because you'll always be around each other forever), and this includes the children you'll have. In times of struggle, they won't be seeking God with you to get through things, they'll advise you to take another direction or they'll just leave you alone to handle it yourself. It's possible the non believing spouse can turn to God afterwards, but usually I never see that happen. It either ends up with them just accepting each others differences and not doing a lot of things together but still staying married, hanging out for things everyone does like eat together, walk, shop, etc- and separating for their own activities such as going to a chapel service and the other spouse not going, or they may go just to hear but not believe and serve God.

It's risky, and it wouldn't be as wonderful as it would to be married to a believing and saved spouse instead. Think of how it will lead the children. They may look at one parent and hear about God, then the other parent will explain why God isn't real. It will confuse the children and make it more difficult and depressing. If the child believes in God, they may someday find their mother or father going to hell but not their other parent instead of being happy both are saved and both serving God. Never forget, parents are what mainly take their childrens life into a direction they cannot completely escape. Whether the childs copies you or does the opposite. A parent will have a huge effect in a childs life. Would you not rather just wait on a Christian spouse who agrees with you, lives for God, is always there to encourage you and help you when you start to become weak, who helps keep you closer to Christ, who Christ can work through that is always with you?

In a way, this sounds like a stupid question. Can anyone tell me why it's better to date and marry a non believer rather than just marry a Christian? Do you believe that is God's will for us?
 
F

FriendlyTalk

Guest
#28
What are u guys thoughts on a Christian dating a non christian?
I know this post is old, but I am leaving a reply anyhow.

The dangers of doing this, is very severe, - and why?

Because the unbeliever is walking after, and following the thoughts that are according to the lusts of the flesh,
while the person dead to sin (the believer) is not.

Entering a marriage, where the other part is bound by darkness, and still walking after it - is destined for catastrophy.

What fellowship does LIGHT and DARKNESS have with eachtother?
None.

So, a marriage, for a believer, is only to be established if the other part is already IN THE LORD.


- If a couple is already married, and one repents from the dead works unto faith in Jesus Christ, and is born again by His Spirit,
and the unbelieving spouse wants to remain with the believer, they can be together,
as mentioned in: 1 Cor 7:14.

This is if they are already married.

Marriage with an unbeliever, is not to be done.
That is against sound teaching.
 

Elle07

New member
Apr 4, 2019
15
9
3
#29
Well for others it worked out but mostly it won’t.

You maybe the instrument that God has used to share the gospel then good but dating an unbeliever is dangerous. I have to learn it the hard way.

I shared the gospel to one guy and he did got saved and claimed to be a Christian for some time but turned his back on God.

Better to date someone who is a believer so you can grow together.
 
Apr 22, 2019
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#30
The hardest time I had being with an unbeliever (doubting, not really committed Christian) was when he was dying. There was no looking forward with joy to the life still yet to come.
I never understood what it meant to be unequally yoked until that time.
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
1,353
1,049
113
#31
I dated a non christain man and I found that your "faith" will upset them and their "lack of faith" will upset you. It makes if difficult because there does not seem to be alot of christian men.
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
7,164
4,830
113
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lawton ok
#32
I dated a non christain man and I found that your "faith" will upset them and their "lack of faith" will upset you. It makes if difficult because there does not seem to be alot of christian men.
Perhaps you are looking in the wrong places. What's the point of risking falling in love with someone you probably shouldn't marry. Marring someone expecting to change them is a common mistake that's very likely to bring you down to their level and is usually a heart breaker.
 

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
218
24
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#33
I dated a non christain man and I found that your "faith" will upset them and their "lack of faith" will upset you. It makes if difficult because there does not seem to be alot of christian men.
why not goes to church, there are many people, but not a good palc for data
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
7,164
4,830
113
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lawton ok
#36
It’s hard when you’ve dated all the singles in your church. One might have to church hop to find a new crop. Lol
What's wrong with that? Maybe you'll learn something in the process.
 
Apr 22, 2019
84
69
18
#37
What's wrong with that? Maybe you'll learn something in the process.
Depends on who you’re learning it from. I’d never church hop to find a man. Then I’d be learning more from the man than listening to the preacher. Lol oh well, I have heard a lot of heathen men have attended church just to find women, and it kind of backfired because they found God instead. Gosh, we must all be grateful that those men couldn’t sing or play an instrument. Lol
 

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
218
24
18
#38
I have heard a lot of heathen men have attended church just to find women, and it kind of backfired because they found God instead. Gosh, we must all be grateful that those men couldn’t sing or play an instrument. Lol
Is there such a thing?
 

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
7,164
4,830
113
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lawton ok
#39
Depends on who you’re learning it from. I’d never church hop to find a man. Then I’d be learning more from the man than listening to the preacher. Lol oh well, I have heard a lot of heathen men have attended church just to find women, and it kind of backfired because they found God instead. Gosh, we must all be grateful that those men couldn’t sing or play an instrument. Lol
I've met women that went to college to get what they called an Mrs. degree. :LOL::ROFL:
 

Princesa

New member
Feb 7, 2019
23
22
3
#40
We are all children of God.
But my strongest & most comfortable relationships dating have been with fellow Christians <3