Do we share too much?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
5,196
408
83
28
Arizona
#1
I know that in a previous generation, especially in certain places such as England, that the act of wearing your heart on your sleeve just kind of wasn’t a thing. I’ve heard many people upwards of 50-something years of age say that their fathers never explicitly said “I love you” to them.

But now we seem to have the opposite problem. People are concerned so much about how the children feel at the time (which is fairly variable because they’re kids) and not on ethics like hard work, respect, and responsibility.

How do we get that back? Or rather how do we meet a happy medium, not being stoic but also not being a flippant parent? Are there ways you all who have kids have tried to do that?
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
1,224
1,021
113
#2
It seems you have two unrelated topics here, and seem to think there is a connection. Wearing your heart on your sleeve does not mean you are unable to also teach ethics. In fact i would say that a health does of Both is ideal.
Nor do i see wearing your heart on your sleeve meaning you are overly concerned about how a child feels.
To wear ones heart on their sleeve simply means to be open about how you feel. How that affects ones ability to teach ethics is beyond me, or means you are overly concerned with how your child feels, is beyond me.

I can be thought of as wearing my heart on my sleeve, but i'm also a firm believer in discipline and teaching children all the things you mention. And i can also be loving towards kids.
In fact it's the loving concern for children that helps them to feel secure and safe at a young age, encouraging a greater sense of security as they grow up, helping them feel more confident as adults, aiding them in being more balanced and able to make better decisions. Because they won't be seeking to fill a lacking they had as a child.
And a healthy discipline helps take the positives that a loving foundation builds and give them the ability to utilize it into something positive and productive.
Looking at people of the past they may have had better ethics, but were also cold and unhappy. Feeling a societal or familial pressure to perform, essentially nothing but robots. And once people feel that way it makes mistreatment of others much easier because people stop looking at others as having feelings, especially their own children.

The bigger problem is that children are raised by other children and strangers so the parents can work 2 full time jobs. And each generation degrades a bit further than the previous as they carry a lower set of standards than the generation before them.
And when parents are around they don't want to be bothered by their kids, so they set them in front of a screen. Another common issue is people viewing children as a source of love for them, rather than being a source of love for their children. Probably due to being raised by strangers and other children, rather than loving parents.

So if you want to raise kids, let the foundation be showered with love, not coldness. Build on that foundation of love with healthy discipline. And from there begin teaching the things you feel are priority, because now you are building from a loving, respected authority on children that feel safe and secure and can focus on what you teach them, instead of trying to figure out how to get their needs met or on their fears.
 

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,214
113
Usa
#3
I love freely and openly. My family and I always say "I love you'd ,coming and coming! It's free to state your feelings! Give while you can,children grow up sooooo fast! Disciple should be done in love also! I wear " my heart" On my sleeve. People tend to know exactly how I feel at all times! 🙏💖💖