I feel utterly suicidal today, I can't seem to go on anymore

3angelsmsg · Dec 25, 2019

Hi Amorette, welcome 👋

I will share this youtube link with you. It deals with Stress, Anxiety, Conflicts and Depression.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLf5G48RKqUyflEOza0-l8pVArEd15UGIg

It is not easy process but All things are possible with God.

Nothing can separate us from the love of God. I will be praying for you.

Amorette · Dec 25, 2019

3angelsmsg said:

Yes , i would specifically like you to pray to God asking Him for my death to happen soon. To give me a pulmonary disease and let me die asap. I would very much appreciate. I am serious. I need your prayers for this one reason very much because no one is ready to say an amen when I pray that prayer. Trust me I am a hopeless lost cause. I don't want to continue this life. If you just say an amen to this prayer of mine "Lord, let me just disappear or let me never have existed and let me die soon"...i will be grateful because when 2 or more ask for anything in Jesus name , it is done.

Butterflyyy · Dec 25, 2019

Amorette said:

Take every thought captive Amorette- the powers of darkness are putting thoughts in your mind do not accept them God has work for you to do you just can't see it at this time.
The enemy wants to rob and kill you the Bible tells us this- read in the Bible I will send you some verses. Talk to other mature Christians urgently xxxxxxx
Jesus does not want you to believe these thoughts- every bad thought you have- ask Jesus what He thinks about it and REJECT- tell it to go away in the name of Jesus. Ask God if there is a reason these thoughts are coming against you and be strong I the Lord- stay near Christians, get teaching, have bread and wine and remember what Jesus has done for you and me, pray, pray pray... and trust Him!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Butterflyyy · Dec 25, 2019

Amorette said:

Read the book of Job, Amorette.
And remember this- God must have something important for you to do or why would the enemy be attacking you like this... ride through his storm it will pass eventually IT WILL. Rest in His love, trust He has a purpose for your life or He would have taken it... He is God- surrender to His will ... it will be okay- it I said part of our training all this believe me- we go through the fires-it will easily be worth it in the end.... XXXXXXXX

3angelsmsg · Dec 25, 2019

Hi Amorette, you have no idea of what God has in store for you.

God will give you peace in abundance. You don't understand the character of God fully. He will restore you to whole person again.

If you will endure to the end, and When God is done with you. You will feel like you are dreaming.

According to Psalm 23:2-3 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me beside the still waters. And He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the path of righteousness for His name's sake.

If you won't resist the love of God, you will see the beauty of God's love.

The problem is not with God, my friend. He is the one, that wants the best for you. The enemy of our souls has clouded the minds of men to perceive God has a being whose a stern judge looking for our mistake. This is far from the character of God.

Butterflyyy · Dec 27, 2019

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ
2 Corinthians 10 v5

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour
1 Peter 5 v8

“Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Wherefore take up the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and, having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; withal taking up the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6:10-17‬ ‭ASV‬‬

Amorette-Do you have a Bible app on your phone?
Something that really helps me is the Daily Light app, which gives verses every morning and night...x x x

EliBeth · Dec 27, 2019

Butterflyyy said:

This thought has crossed my mind too.

GodFoundMe · Dec 27, 2019

You are not a lost cause Amorette. There was a time when I felt God didn't care about my seemingly insignificant problems, especially when so many other people are going through worse things. However, He does care. About everything. He wishes everyone to be saved and rejoices when a lost sheep is found. Read Matthew 6:25-34. He feeds the birds in the air and clothes the grass in the field with flowers. He knows our needs and tells us not to worry about tomorrow. Take things one day at a time. God loves you and sent Jesus to die for you. "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted" (Psalm 34:18). Just as Jesus wept for Jerusalem, God too would be sad that you are sad. You are His child and no parent laughs when their child falls. He's always waiting to pick you up if you come to Him. He will never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). "For I know well the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe; plans to give you a future full of hope" (Jeremiah 29:11).

Elderdave · Jan 3, 2020

Believe it or not, you have come to the place where God has been leading you all along! you have finally come to the place where you will forsake everything of this world and follow God with all you mind heart soul and streangth! And once you do this, you will find Gods love in a powerful way!

I know this from experience: when i was 20, i was also suicidal. but when i told god that i was through living for myself, and i am now only living to do his well: His love came into me in a powerful way!

Killing yourself will only cause you to go to hell! and instead of ending your suffering; you will have increased it many fold for eternity
Your only course at this moment is complete surrender to gods will! and total commitment of the rest of your life to doing His will!

blue_ladybug · Jan 3, 2020

Elderdave said:

The red bolded is completely not true. Hell is merely the resting place of the dead. And only GOD knows where those who kill themselves end up because He looks at their heart and judges accordingly.

Mii · Jan 3, 2020

Amorette said:

Well, I will reiterate. Job felt pretty close to the same way and it was helpful for me to read just a short passage of him saying so.

Elijah too was ready to die after the Carmel contest. He basically, just laid down by a tree/bush and said so.

I've been in similar places and am even "somewhat" there now. It stands to reason that he must have some reason for me continuing to breathe, I may not like that reason. I may not even love it. My flesh might hate it, and my spirit may only give a slight "nod" in his general direction...but to whom do I belong? Do I legitimately have the desire to end things myself? Nope. I have wanted him to do so, or quite close to it (being open to it based off the emotion).

I've laid down in the dirt more than once, feeling like I'm tearing myself apart. That the Lord isn't who he says he is, etc. etc.
Most probably a test/temptation, idk. All I know is it happens rarely and when I submit and humble myself and cry out, it stops. It takes moments like those to completely humble myself and actually cry out.

I'm just explaining how some of this has worked for me in the past, perhaps it can help. If for instance, knowing that the Lord has the power to end your life (having created it) and you want that more than anything right now, and he is unwilling. What would your response be? Managing that response is the hard part, because being angry at the Lord doesn't really accomplish anything as far as I can tell...OTHER than being part of a real living relationship. If you are married, or even if you aren't you have had friends/family. At some point you will get angry with them over something. Even if that relationship is nearly perfect, we aren't. So it stands to reason that this is likely to occur at some point in each of our lives, although not necessarily true. So my advice, is to simply vent a bit privately and change your setting.

I have different thoughts in a warm shower than I do rain soaked in the woods alone at 35 degrees. I have different thoughts at a campfire than I do with a fireplace fire. A different attitude at the library vs using a laptop on the couch. There are so many ways to change things to just "see" if it presents a better place to pray/seek. I personally find that these feelings seem to be similar to how females experience contractions. There's a breather section and that segment is the only time you can really get more comfortable both mentally and physically.

3angelsmsg · Jan 4, 2020

Hi Amorette, how are you?

If you want to understand why we find ourselves in the controversy is because Adam lost his trust in God. All the angels and all other beings had full trust in God. And the Adam before the sin was very loving person and after the sin he was different.

Job was perfect and had full trust in God. God had no fear of putting Job to be tested of Satan. Because Satan had accusations against that God had bought Job with money or prosperity or bride him. But you know the consequence of grace is that God shields us. Satan has to ask God for permission to touch us. And God only allows certain difficulties that strengthens our faith and for our benefit.

May your trust in God come to full measure. Love can only be born out of love. Not of out of fear.

EliBeth · Feb 16, 2020

Amorette, I've missed seeing you on CC and wanted to say hi.. I cannot access your profile page, so I am posting here. If you read this, please let us know how you're doing. I love you, Sister! 🌺❤️

Amorette said:

Aerials1978 · Feb 17, 2020

EliBeth said:

I haven’t seen a reply recently. I really hope nothing horrible happened.

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I feel utterly suicidal today, I can't seem to go on anymore

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