Is it bad that I don't enjoy singing praise in church? 😂

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Aug 22, 2019
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#1
The chruch my family goes to is the type that has this 30 min singing segment when the worship starts. They're not the super fancy lights and shows type, but there is a band.

Now I used to be fine with this, but the past few years this just makes me cranky? The worship leader is the type that tells you to stand and sit and stand and sit with every song change or something. I'm not happy that I'm not familiar with 90% of the songs, having grown up with more classic/old-fashioned hymns and the occasional Chris Tomlin songs during youth. I also feel frustrated that I can't hear myself of the rest of the conregation sing over the band.

My mum tells me that this praise segment is important, so I should try to learn to enjoy it. I feel bad for grumping about songs that worship God, as though they're some sort of pop music, but honestly I feel like half of the songs they use in church are bland and same-y and borin. I try to participate, and it just makes me feel tired.

Do I pray so that God will help me overcome this? Moving to a different church over music sounds so petty.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
2,713
385
83
#2
The chruch my family goes to is the type that has this 30 min singing segment when the worship starts. They're not the super fancy lights and shows type, but there is a band.

Now I used to be fine with this, but the past few years this just makes me cranky? The worship leader is the type that tells you to stand and sit and stand and sit with every song change or something. I'm not happy that I'm not familiar with 90% of the songs, having grown up with more classic/old-fashioned hymns and the occasional Chris Tomlin songs during youth. I also feel frustrated that I can't hear myself of the rest of the conregation sing over the band.

My mum tells me that this praise segment is important, so I should try to learn to enjoy it. I feel bad for grumping about songs that worship God, as though they're some sort of pop music, but honestly I feel like half of the songs they use in church are bland and same-y and borin. I try to participate, and it just makes me feel tired.

Do I pray so that God will help me overcome this? Moving to a different church over music sounds so petty.
Colossians 3:14-17 English Standard Version (ESV)
14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Worship is important as it prepares your heart, mind and soul to hear the message to be given.

John 4:24 English Standard Version (ESV)
24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.”

If God is spirit and largely much of his work is done through the Holy Spirit living in us. Worship helps us connect to that and puts us in a good starting place to hear God speak through the words of the Pastor, inner thoughts or prayer.

So worship is important and not something petty. Something petty could be you dont like the hat the worship leader wears or they play one song too much.

But if it's just everything about it that bothers you and its preventing you from wanting to be there or in some way affects your ability to want to hear the message. Then yes you should think about what to do.

If you cant leave or are not ready to leave then speak to the worship leader and be respectfully honest. You never know they may adjust style of worship.

If they do not then this is another reason why denominations both traditional and nontraditional are good. Another church down the road may be what your looking for. Just always make sure they are teaching sound doctrine.

You sound like you would enjoy a more traditional setting. So look for the churches that sing hymns, organ player, choir, and usually a tall ceiling to reflect sound waves through the room. Old school speaker style.

Hope this gives you some ideas.
 
Sep 28, 2019
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#3
Personally i would change churches. Like you, i prefer older more traditional hymns. Music is very important to me.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
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#4
There's nothing wrong with preferring one type of music over another.
 
Aug 22, 2019
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#5
Thanks for the responses.
The sermon part I really usually don't have any problems with. I just don't enjoy the singing because the music is not to my preference. What gets me conflicted is that I'm often told that the singing is equally important, and I used to be fine with the same band. It's just that in the past few years they've been playing unfamiliar songs that all sound dull. In the past they play "traditional" praises more often.

I can't help this feeling that maybe I should've tried harder to learn the songs, or I should learn to appreciate any and all worship and praise songs ☹️
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
2,713
385
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#6
Thanks for the responses.
The sermon part I really usually don't have any problems with. I just don't enjoy the singing because the music is not to my preference. What gets me conflicted is that I'm often told that the singing is equally important, and I used to be fine with the same band. It's just that in the past few years they've been playing unfamiliar songs that all sound dull. In the past they play "traditional" praises more often.

I can't help this feeling that maybe I should've tried harder to learn the songs, or I should learn to appreciate any and all worship and praise songs ☹️
Sometimes our churches are not ideal to our individual opinion. I personally at one time liked our worship band. But now the new worship leader sings with a vibration in his voice. Petty annoyance. But I stay and enjoy the few songs that sound good. But ultimately I love the message from my Pastor. He doesn't just feed the new believers but also adds enough in depth study to feed the regular believers.

Shallow messages bore me. Not because the word isnt important. But because as a mature believer, I have heard the simple messages over and over and over.

One time I tried another church. The band was great but the Pastor was a what you call them guys? A hipster of sort. Big rim glasses and skinny Jeans preaching on one single verse and made it culturally equivalent by naming the sermon Love Thy Selfie. Half of the sermon was him showing pictures of funny selfies.

Not for me.
 

breno785au

Senior Member
Jul 23, 2013
5,331
322
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#7
The chruch my family goes to is the type that has this 30 min singing segment when the worship starts. They're not the super fancy lights and shows type, but there is a band.

Now I used to be fine with this, but the past few years this just makes me cranky? The worship leader is the type that tells you to stand and sit and stand and sit with every song change or something. I'm not happy that I'm not familiar with 90% of the songs, having grown up with more classic/old-fashioned hymns and the occasional Chris Tomlin songs during youth. I also feel frustrated that I can't hear myself of the rest of the conregation sing over the band.

My mum tells me that this praise segment is important, so I should try to learn to enjoy it. I feel bad for grumping about songs that worship God, as though they're some sort of pop music, but honestly I feel like half of the songs they use in church are bland and same-y and borin. I try to participate, and it just makes me feel tired.

Do I pray so that God will help me overcome this? Moving to a different church over music sounds so petty.
Have you considered maybe it's not you?
For some reason we love to hold onto our traditions so tightly we want to make up some hocus pocus as to why you should be continuing in it and if you don't the problem is with you (and you should repent) when it's the tradition of monotony that we're carrying on.

Singing unto the Lord, the best place, the real place, is from your heart and your revelation of who He is. Not by people who tell you what to sing, when to start, when to stop and how it should be done. I've found over time, yes, traditional worship (I don't even like calling it that anymore because it's so much more than we've boxed it into in our modern day) has been a blessing in my life in the early years, and I'm sure it continues to be a blessing to many people. But then I found myself in a similar place to what your describing. Wondering what was wrong with me? It seemed to be prevalent in every church I went. So I pushed, if I just submitted myself and did what everyone else did, it will be okay.
Then as time went on, I found I can't sing these lyrics I don't relate too, I forced myself. I would sing the songs I related too, then I would sing my own words in parts that I didn't. Especially when the lyrics got really flakey and shallow with typical christianese lyrics.
Then and now it's like, what's the point of even doing this? It doesn't make sense. And I look around, and think, I'm going to stop this and sing my own words from my own heart, and there came the freedom, and I haven't looked back.

Sorry I typed way than I thought I would, somewhat unrefined, which I think is good sometimes. People, take it as you will.
 

brighthouse98

Senior Member
Apr 16, 2015
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#8
Psalm 100:1-5 This is short but to the point. Music is used to set the tone in not just singing to sing,but rather to prepare yourself for psalm 27:13. To remove you from where you are,to where you should be! THANKFUL!!!!!( 1 Thess 5:18) Song are not being played for you!

They are played for who we should be exalting! Look at it in this way,and you will understand what the purpose of singing is for. The very will of God himself is to bring us in the balance of being and always staying thankful! ( Eph 5:19)

Even Jesus himself sang! ( Matt 26:30, Mark 14:26 And in the end, why we will even sing a new song!!( Rev 5:6-14) I understand that some song's sung in Church may not appeal to us personally,but then again we are not in Church for ourselfs only are we? Let us not look to makes excuses, rather let us look to bring HOPE to others as well as to ourselfs.( Rom 15:13)
 

Locoponydirtman

Well-known member
Oct 9, 2018
1,394
886
113
Texas
#9
The chruch my family goes to is the type that has this 30 min singing segment when the worship starts. They're not the super fancy lights and shows type, but there is a band.

Now I used to be fine with this, but the past few years this just makes me cranky? The worship leader is the type that tells you to stand and sit and stand and sit with every song change or something. I'm not happy that I'm not familiar with 90% of the songs, having grown up with more classic/old-fashioned hymns and the occasional Chris Tomlin songs during youth. I also feel frustrated that I can't hear myself of the rest of the conregation sing over the band.

My mum tells me that this praise segment is important, so I should try to learn to enjoy it. I feel bad for grumping about songs that worship God, as though they're some sort of pop music, but honestly I feel like half of the songs they use in church are bland and same-y and borin. I try to participate, and it just makes me feel tired.

Do I pray so that God will help me overcome this? Moving to a different church over music sounds so petty.
I don't know what songs they are playing, but it could be that they are terrible and don't move you because they are vapid nonsense.
I would advise you to analyze the words and see if they are scriptural and doctrinally sound. There could be a very valid reason that those songs put you off.
You have revealed your heart that you have the desire to praise.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
552
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#10
ok well I wasn't sure if I should reply or not because I wasn't sure where your heart was...but other posters seemed to echo essentially what I think. Not to mention it was on my mind and I heard someone ask about it on the radio and I liked their answer. It was a Q/A session on CSN


Anyway... I too went through the same struggle. I'm not really in the mood to share how privately I worship but I may later. Did feel like I should just go ahead and let you know that it does matter what the song is saying. It does matter what mood you are in. Not to say if you aren't feeling it then you're the boss...but the Lord does NOT appreciate lip service.


Consider reading Psalms and understand that a lot of them aren't exactly lovey feel good songs. There are a LOT of psalms of lament. Do you hear songs of lament at church often?

The answerers of the question mentioned that but they also said that lament is praise and I'm not sure if I've 100% arrived at that conclusion but I do feel him near when I'm super sad and just praise him anyway. Something like a funeral song. No one was leaping through the streets in joy and happiness at the crucifixion. There are sad moments.

I do like the feel of praise you in this storm to somewhat capture that. Echoes some of the Psalms.



Sometimes it's awkward to make up your own song...it may not occur until you are heavily oppressed.

I will admit that it's hard to read Psalms and hear the music but there probably are artists out there that do "psalming" I'd recommend looking into that.


If your parent is essentially forcing you into it, just read your bible during worship times or journal. Or meditate on the music itself and analyze it. There are ways to avoid it while still being present. I've done it, and then I find I actually want to praise to a handful so I just wait for those moments. It's just so organic that it's hard to pinpoint or give specificity though.


You could do a little research into each artist and what they believe. It may be helpful...especially if it's not scripturally sound what they are singing.

@EvangelineRenoir
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,317
717
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#11
The chruch my family goes to is the type that has this 30 min singing segment when the worship starts. They're not the super fancy lights and shows type, but there is a band.

Now I used to be fine with this, but the past few years this just makes me cranky? The worship leader is the type that tells you to stand and sit and stand and sit with every song change or something. I'm not happy that I'm not familiar with 90% of the songs, having grown up with more classic/old-fashioned hymns and the occasional Chris Tomlin songs during youth. I also feel frustrated that I can't hear myself of the rest of the conregation sing over the band.

My mum tells me that this praise segment is important, so I should try to learn to enjoy it. I feel bad for grumping about songs that worship God, as though they're some sort of pop music, but honestly I feel like half of the songs they use in church are bland and same-y and borin. I try to participate, and it just makes me feel tired.

Do I pray so that God will help me overcome this? Moving to a different church over music sounds so petty.
Hi!

I appreciate the others' advice too, for there are times i have 'feelings' about our worship songs-- and i was part of the team until i got so busy the past few months and have missed joining them.

Perhaps you can bring the matter to your leaders, or talk it a bit with your pastor. If that is hard, try writing your impressions, and hymn/song suggestions. Personally, i have tried to let our team know that the instrumentalists often sound way louder than the singers, or the song selections are sometimes fit for some tenor singers on radio and not for congregational singing. Sometimes they listened, sometimes they did what they perhaps thought they ought to do or wanted. Sometimes i asked if we needed a 'full band' each time, but did not really press my foot as to what i thought it should be.

After going to a more traditional church (but too far from our base), abt the only contemporary song i have heard since we first attended was "He is exalted." Honestly, i feel comfortable in this church. Perhaps you can go to another church once or twice a month, so you still go with your parents the other weeks, as you want.

God bless, sis.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
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#12
Believe me, there are often times that we don’t agree with the direction that the worship team is taking.

All I can think to do is focus on the act of worship. If you can, focus on what the songs are saying and make that a sort of prayer. Try your best to shut out the world and the worries and just make it a you and God thing.
 
Oct 7, 2019
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#13
I can totally understand not being a huge fan of the music in your church. I'm not always a big fan of mine. Since the Bible does put emphasis on worshiping God in music, I think a good idea, if I may, is to take some time to worship Him personally with some songs that you specifically picked up. Like, make a playlist of music that you like, and just occasionally sing them for Him. If you're still being spiritually fed at the church you're at, then I don't think you should leave. If you aren't, or if you're just straight-up unsure, then you should prayerfully consider where God wants you.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,609
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#14
I may not always love the worship songs in church, but I always love the One we are worshipping. I try and put my focus on that, when the style is not my preference. Church isn't about me, but the One we are gathering to worship.

With that said, I have to remind myself the things I just said almost every sunday when we start singing a song that I do not like, lol.
 

Silverwings

Senior Member
Jul 27, 2016
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#15
My two cents for what it is worth is, maybe try talking to your pastor, in a very open and friendly and kind way about how you are feeling and see what his suggestion is. If that fails to bring some satisfaction, and if you have truly prayed about it, and feel you might be happier in a different church, I would do that, I cant see how not being happy glorifies the Lord.
 

tjogs

Senior Member
Jun 28, 2009
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#16
My answer comes a bit late and many other people have basically said the same already.

During the service in church I go, or practically any church I never sing. For me the reason is that i feel singing physically unpleasant. It's not that i would not like to sing for singing but if your leg is hurt would you still step on it your full weight even you know how much it hurts?

What the singing is really meant as said many times before, is to bring you closer to God.
If the problem with singing is mouth (like with me) then sing with heart, if the problem is the songs, why not change them to ones that do what they are supposed to.

As friend of my once said: God understands cultures and traditions. some out of place tradition for one is ok to other because it's their tradition.

As long as it's not conflicting his word, you can change if you feel out of place but whatever you change, you change to serve and worship him your best.
 
Mar 1, 2018
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#17
I would say that the preaching of the word takes preference over the music. But in the same breathe, the message of the music should be accompaning the message that is preached.
 
Mar 1, 2018
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#18
My preference is definitely the traditional music, because it is taken from the scriptures and singing those songs before the divine service starts already has given me message of encouragement. That has been my experience. Anyone else had such experience?