Sex before Marriage

[hillsong1]

I would recommend starting with Matthew and just working your way, through the New Testament that way. It would help you gain a stronger understanding of each of God's teachings instead of just one or another. Take your time at doing it, read a little every night etc, but there are def more enlightening parts than others.
Goodluck!

 

[Jda016]

I havent read much of my bible. Actually I've only read revelations. If you have any parts to recommend that would help me understand and help renew my relationship with God it would be greatly appreciated.

Definetly the gospel of John. It gives a clear picture of who Jesus is. But like Tintin said, I suggest reading the whole Bible.

 

[RickyZ]

I would read the gospels first, because every other book in the Bible has to be related to the work of Christ. So it's only by knowing Christ's works that we can properly interpret all the rest of it.

And it is the 'two making one' that establishes a spiritual/spousal relationship. Marriage is then the public confession of that relationship, or the vow to establish one.

 

[Timofree]

It's so not worth having sex before marriage, it creates a soul tie with the person.......and means working through stuff with God in your soul later........for a short time of pleasure, there's potentially a long time of going through restoration! Just say no to sex before marriage!
Enjoy God instead, it's more pleasurable to be around Him than having sex, delight in Him!

 

[lavender_lily]

I have had sex before marriage. Many times. I didnt realize how wrong it was until recently when I started seeing a christian man. Now I feel terrible because we have had sex and he is very ashamed. I am a Christian. I am just so confused and for some reason cannot see why. I like sex and I masturbate. Idk how to get past it. I feel like a child who has been given a rule they feel is unfair. And that makes me feel even worse. Helppp

I have never had sex cuz I clearly knew it was wrong biblically, but I did have trouble with masturbation in my past. I remeber feeling temporary pleasure while attempting to satisfy my flesh, but the feelings of guilt and dirtiness lingered and nawed at me in my mind and heart later. I knew what I had done was wrong, I had sinned. I wish I could say I only did it once, but it was a struggle. Thankfully, in repentace and prayer, Jesus has freed me and I can overcome the temptation, though it was a process. I honestly feel that had I went so far to have sex apart from a protective marriage as God intended, it'd be even harder to overcome guilt. Not only that, but the separation from one or multiple partners would be devistating. It was hard for me to see marriage as something beautiful because of my parents issues and their divorce. Also, seeing/ hearing of others struggling in their marriages contributed in me finding it pointless to marry. From reading the bible and listening to Christian speakers on marriage, I now realize how beautiful God intended marriage to be between one man and one woman from the very beginning. Sex merges two people in multiple ways (not just bodily) and marriage was meant to protect those merged together. The reason you may feel it unfair that you shouldn't have sex or masturbation is because your fleshly nature is trying to be satisfied, but as a Christian, you also want follow God. The thing is, you can continue to appeal to your flesh... but you will never be truly satisifed apart from doing it God's way. You may have temporary relief, but you won't have the protection nor the approval of God, because you are doing things outside His will. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
[SUP]18 [/SUP]Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.[SUP]19 [/SUP]What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?[SUP]20 [/SUP]For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
[SUP]2 [/SUP]Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

1 Tessalonians 4:3
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
If you want to look up things in the bible www.biblegateway.com and www.gotquestions.org are some good websites for biblical info.

 

[christiangamer]

I have never had sex cuz I clearly knew it was wrong biblically, but I did have trouble with masturbation in my past. I remeber feeling temporary pleasure while attempting to satisfy my flesh, but the feelings of guilt and dirtiness lingered and nawed at me in my mind and heart later. I knew what I had done was wrong, I had sinned. I wish I could say I only did it once, but it was a struggle. Thankfully, in repentace and prayer, Jesus has freed me and I can overcome the temptation, though it was a process. I honestly feel that had I went so far to have sex apart from a protective marriage as God intended, it'd be even harder to overcome guilt. Not only that, but the separation from one or multiple partners would be devistating. It was hard for me to see marriage as something beautiful because of my parents issues and their divorce. Also, seeing/ hearing of others struggling in their marriages contributed in me finding it pointless to marry. From reading the bible and listening to Christian speakers on marriage, I now realize how beautiful God intended marriage to be between one man and one woman from the very beginning. Sex merges two people in multiple ways (not just bodily) and marriage was meant to protect those merged together. The reason you may feel it unfair that you shouldn't have sex or masturbation is because your fleshly nature is trying to be satisfied, but as a Christian, you also want follow God. The thing is, you can continue to appeal to your flesh... but you will never be truly satisifed apart from doing it God's way. You may have temporary relief, but you won't have the protection nor the approval of God, because you are doing things outside His will. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
[SUP]18 [/SUP]Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.[SUP]19 [/SUP]What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?[SUP]20 [/SUP]For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
[SUP]2 [/SUP]Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

1 Tessalonians 4:3
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
If you want to look up things in the bible www.biblegateway.com and www.gotquestions.org are some good websites for biblical info.

Props to you for being able to overcome the sin, but I'm confused as to why this post begins the way it does. You say you did not do something because you knew it was wrong Biblically, and then you go into how you did something that you knew was wrong Biblically to avoid the thing that was wrong to do Biblically. That seems to clash with sin being sin. No one sin is lesser than the other. But the important thing I suppose is that you overcame what you wanted to overcome. That alone deserves an "amen". God bless.

 

[Timofree]

Props to you for being able to overcome the sin, but I'm confused as to why this post begins the way it does. You say you did not do something because you knew it was wrong Biblically, and then you go into how you did something that you knew was wrong Biblically to avoid the thing that was wrong to do Biblically. That seems to clash with sin being sin. No one sin is lesser than the other. But the important thing I suppose is that you overcame what you wanted to overcome. That alone deserves an "amen". God bless.

It's a process in overcoming things you can be in a place of not fornicating, but still struggling with masturbation. They're both sins, and for a while i was in that place.
So celebrate God's helping you not to fornicate, and ask for help not to masturbate. It's His desire for us to stop more than it's our desire!!

Each thing at a time, the closer you get to God more gets revealed and overcome in the process! And there's forgiveness if we sin, but He's so beatiful, it's not worth holding on to anything that keeps us from Him!!! Speaking to myself too there!!!!!!!!!

 

[Nhill828]

I'm struggling like Brooke but I'm the man and my gfriend and I are trying to be abstinent until married but we met as unbelievers and came to the Lord together. We had sex and lived together at times. I went away for a year and did very good with my lust issue by quitting masturbation almost entirely and not looking at pornographic images. Before I came home we made a commitment to God and each other and we've already slipped once its only been 3 wks. We don't live together and I'm now struggling again with masturbation and pornography if nothing else I desperately need prayer. I'm feeling ashamed and I have been crying out to God but its I'm struggling almost daily again. Please Help!!

 

[Hungry]

I think this sin is particularly difficult to overcome because it is not only accepted its encouraged. I don't exactly know how I was delivered from viewing pornography. I'm sure God had a hand in it but it was because He reminded me before I looked at it that I had a choice. I was free from bondage. I could make myself obey if I wanted to through the Holy Spirit. Before long I had no problem mastering the temptation. It's not that I don't get tempted but I know it's my choice. I can choose God or flesh, spiritual over carnal, life over death. Every Christian has a choice to live in the Spirit or the flesh, forgiveness or revenge, love or hate, others or self. The flesh is strong and that is why we shouldn't flirt with temptation but flee from it.

 

[Nhill828]

I think this sin is particularly difficult to overcome because it is not only accepted its encouraged. I don't exactly know how I was delivered from viewing pornography. I'm sure God had a hand in it but it was because He reminded me before I looked at it that I had a choice. I was free from bondage. I could make myself obey if I wanted to through the Holy Spirit. Before long I had no problem mastering the temptation. It's not that I don't get tempted but I know it's my choice. I can choose God or flesh, spiritual over carnal, life over death. Every Christian has a choice to live in the Spirit or the flesh, forgiveness or revenge, love or hate, others or self. The flesh is strong and that is why we shouldn't flirt with temptation but flee from it.

Thanx Hungry your right it is a choice and I keep making the wrong one. I'm recommitting myself to God and sexual purity right now. God is so good and I know that I know that I know that He WILL help me through this.

 

[trueworship]

hey brooke read 1 Corinthians chapter 6. our body is the temple of God. all other sin is outside the body. you can always reclaim your virginity its called second virginity. praying that God reveals this to you the way you need it just ask Him and He will help you overcome the temptation.

 

[GodIsSalvation]

hey brooke read 1 Corinthians chapter 6. our body is the temple of God. all other sin is outside the body. you can always reclaim your virginity its called second virginity. praying that God reveals this to you the way you need it just ask Him and He will help you overcome the temptation.

Second virginity?

Idk about that one.

1 Corinthians Chapter 6 also says:

"Do you not know that he who joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For as it is written, "The two shall become one." (verse 16)

Once you are married, you're married I think is the basic premise.

 

[msgomez1000]

I don't understand why the first book many people read in the Bible is Revelation!
ROFL so true

 

[78jon]

Thanks for sharing.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

It says sex is a sin and one we should avoid, but God understands our temptation an wants to let us back with open arms. But Jesus said "sin no more" to the woman who committed adultery. And there is such thing as relapses, I had a horrible problem with mastribation and relapsed, but God pulled me through despite my shame and self hatred during the problem. God helped me forgive myself too.

 

[ArtsieSteph]

Plus honestly sex before marriage just complicated things. There's no true security in the relationship, a baby could be born ino a not ideal situation to parents who aren't ready.

 

[Stephen63]

Personally I always assumed sex was marriage, or at least a significant part of it, based off when Jesus tells the Woman of Samaria to call her husband and the woman tells Jesus that she is unmarried and Jesus points out she has been married to 5 different men. (John 4:16-18).

Marriage as we think of it today is an elaborate ceremonial ritual that exists in all cultures and comes in many flavors. In fact the marriage ceremony we know of in the West is actually fairly new, having been mostly developped in the Victorian Era (1800s). If you strip away all the pomp and ceremony you're basically left with two points regarding marriage no matter what culture you examine.

Point 1: Parents give away their children either through arranged marriage or parental consent

Point 2: The man and woman leave their parents care and cleave unto eachother and begin their own family.

Now I am not saying that people should go out having sex before they perform the marriage ceremony or before they are prepared for the responsibilities that come with having a family, but I would assert that if you did have sex with someone before the marriage ceremony you are all ready married to that person and should thus attempt to go about having the formal wedding ceremony. Either way you cut it though, whoever you sleep with, that's who you are married to in my point of view, so stay faithful to that person regardless of whether you went through the Victorian Era Wedding Ceremony or not.

Just my opinion of the matter, and I think either way you cut it, sex before marriage or after, that you should still be loyal to your one woman (or man if you are a woman). I feel as if the marriage ceremony while not being the marriage itself, is at least a good way to strengthen that bond between two mates and also between the couple and God, thus why it would be more proper to wait until after marriage ceremony to have sex. (Plus if you think about it, waiting until after the ceremony is a good test for your prospective mate.)

Seems in this same scripture Jesus says the opposite:

John 4:16-18 (KJV) [SUP]16 [/SUP]Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. [SUP]17 [/SUP]The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: [SUP]18 [/SUP]For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.

Jesus is saying the woman told the truth. The current man she is living with isn't her husband. She has been divorced 5 times, and shacking up with the 6th one.

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

We do not have sex with other people until Christian marriage with another Christian of the opposite sex. That's what we do.

Celibacy comes in two forms: celibacy with masturbation and celibacy without masturbation.

Catholics believe masturbation is a mortal sin that can exclude one from heaven. Protestants reject that doctrine.

A typical Protestant view on masturbation would be that of Focus on the Family:

"Your approach to this issue will need to be both tactful and realistic. A bottom line worth stressing is that masturbation should not play a major role in your child's life, either as a source of relentless guilt or as a frequent and persistent habit that displaces healthy sexual relations in the future. If it happens once in a while, it happens. But it should not be pursued as a form of recreation, especially while viewing sexually provocative material, and it should never be allowed to occur with other people."

As many have found in this Internet age; however, that's far easier said than done.

My personal opinion is that we are to practice celibacy until marriage. If you can manage that without masturbation, awesome! Do so.

If not, then do your best to minimize it in your life and you'll have to rely on God's grace for the rest.

The understanding, of course, is that Christian marriage with sexual relations is the natural state for normal healthy males and females.

the bible says, all through out that sex before marriage is of course a sin. I believe it is important to fufill this commandment, but wonder, what other Christians do around the world, during this relationship issue? Cuz the world takes sex for granted these days. Just curious

Thanks!

 

[Stephen63]

We do not have sex with other people until Christian marriage with another Christian of the opposite sex. That's what we do.

Celibacy comes in two forms: celibacy with masturbation and celibacy without masturbation.

Catholics believe masturbation is a mortal sin that can exclude one from heaven. Protestants reject that doctrine.

A typical Protestant view on masturbation would be that of Focus on the Family:

"Your approach to this issue will need to be both tactful and realistic. A bottom line worth stressing is that masturbation should not play a major role in your child's life, either as a source of relentless guilt or as a frequent and persistent habit that displaces healthy sexual relations in the future. If it happens once in a while, it happens. But it should not be pursued as a form of recreation, especially while viewing sexually provocative material, and it should never be allowed to occur with other people."

As many have found in this Internet age; however, that's far easier said than done.

My personal opinion is that we are to practice celibacy until marriage. If you can manage that without masturbation, awesome! Do so.

If not, then do your best to minimize it in your life and you'll have to rely on God's grace for the rest.

The understanding, of course, is that Christian marriage with sexual relations is the natural state for normal healthy males and females.

I wouldn't touch Focus on the Family with a 100 ft pole....... They love to have guests on their show like Roma Downey & her husband pushing their New Age "christian" movie about Jesus. Pure trash.

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

Nevertheless, the quote I posted is a the mainstream Protestant view and so relevant to the discussion. Peace.

I wouldn't touch Focus on the Family with a 100 ft pole....... They love to have guests on their show like Roma Downey & her husband pushing their New Age "christian" movie about Jesus. Pure trash.