Your thoughts on friendships with non-Christians?

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Oct 2, 2019
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#21
In my life, I have found my secular friends to be one of my greatest blessings. I went to a very Christian high school so when I started going to a (notoriously) secular public university, I was very scared about making friends. I was afraid that many nonbelievers would only care about partying and hooking up. I was pleasantly surprised to find that this is not the case. While many of my friends are secular, they are wonderful people. I find myself wanting to be an example of Christ's love to them. Having secular friends makes me all the more passionate about praying for those who do not believe. I have friends who are queer, pagan, Muslim, promiscuous, atheist, etc. When I pray for those people, I'm not looking down on them as non-Christians. That's not the point. I find the more I spend time with these people, the more I fall in love with them as people. I want them to be saved not just because they are not Christian, but also because they are my dear friends whom I love very much.

Of course, I think it is important that you have fellowship with believers as well. Like you said, it can be very easy to give in to secular ways when you are surrounded by secular people. Just make sure you have some Christian friends you can confide in and everything should be fine.
I agree with you. My three non-Christian friends I referenced in the OP, are people who I cared about very much for themselves as their individual persons. (Oftentimes, that also made it all the more agonizing that I couldn't seem to have any positive influence to open them to Christ. You care about these people, so you don't want to lose them in eternity ahead.)

It's also good to be wary of when they might be taking a different path away from you. Our enemy doesn't want us to influence them to come to Christ, and will do what he can to lead them away from Him. For example, one of the friends I spoke of in my OP turned malicious towards me, very out of character for the person I once knew her to be. The Holy Spirit spoke loudly into my mind one afternoon around the time this happened, warning me that she was surrounded in darkness, and that I needed to keep my distance from her while He continued to work in her through other means.

Always keep a discerning eye for the paths they may be taking while they are still in your life. Always try to be as kind as you can be, show your caring for them as you can also, even if they are not making that same effort. Part of the mistake I made with the friend I mentioned is that I became overcritical of her in some arguments we had. And I let myself think that my on-going frustration was enough to justify my chastisement of her.

But I only made things worse. If you ever have issues with them that you must absolutely talk to them about, be as gentle and gracious as possible about it, let them know you care about their perspective. Don't try to "put them in their place" as I mistakenly did, even if they seem to "deserve" it. Remember our Lord's patience, and always keep Him present with you at all times, especially with unbelieving friends. These are the things I wish I had done differently now.
 
Oct 2, 2019
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#22
(Continued in another post, since my edit time ran out in the previous one)

Always remember what you are saying and doing in your interactions with them for the long term. Whatever the argument may be, or whatever failing they may have had, remember the person they are, and keep loving them unconditionally and keep forgiving them. Don't underestimate their sensitivity either, even if they hide it well. It's not worth it to lose them forever.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
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#23
One of my best friends whom I've know for 15 years is a nonbeliever. She used to be plain agnostic but now she has moved a bit more into astrology and new age. Meanwhile, in the past seven or so years I have been active in church. I guess I have grown in my faith but I still have a lot of questions and things I don't understand. She has tried to get me involved with astrology a few times but I had to be firm, and now calls me closed minded and a super-Christian. She considers what she does as not religious and that anyone can benefit. I actually do not consider myself a super conservative Christian. It is a bit difficult handling this friendship, but I love her and will continue to treat her as a close friend. Any tips on how to handle this type of friendship where we butt heads all the time?
 
E

EliBeth

Guest
#24
I agree with you. My three non-Christian friends I referenced in the OP, are people who I cared about very much for themselves as their individual persons. (Oftentimes, that also made it all the more agonizing that I couldn't seem to have any positive influence to open them to Christ. You care about these people, so you don't want to lose them in eternity ahead.)

It's also good to be wary of when they might be taking a different path away from you. Our enemy doesn't want us to influence them to come to Christ, and will do what he can to lead them away from Him. For example, one of the friends I spoke of in my OP turned malicious towards me, very out of character for the person I once knew her to be. The Holy Spirit spoke loudly into my mind one afternoon around the time this happened, warning me that she was surrounded in darkness, and that I needed to keep my distance from her while He continued to work in her through other means.

Always keep a discerning eye for the paths they may be taking while they are still in your life. Always try to be as kind as you can be, show your caring for them as you can also, even if they are not making that same effort. Part of the mistake I made with the friend I mentioned is that I became overcritical of her in some arguments we had. And I let myself think that my on-going frustration was enough to justify my chastisement of her.

But I only made things worse. If you ever have issues with them that you must absolutely talk to them about, be as gentle and gracious as possible about it, let them know you care about their perspective. Don't try to "put them in their place" as I mistakenly did, even if they seem to "deserve" it. Remember our Lord's patience, and always keep Him present with you at all times, especially with unbelieving friends. These are the things I wish I had done differently now.
(Continued in another post, since my edit time ran out in the previous one)

Always remember what you are saying and doing in your interactions with them for the long term. Whatever the argument may be, or whatever failing they may have had, remember the person they are, and keep loving them unconditionally and keep forgiving them. Don't underestimate their sensitivity either, even if they hide it well. It's not worth it to lose them forever.
These were incredibly helpful and timely for me. There is much wisdom in these posts. ☑️
 
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EliBeth

Guest
#25
One of my best friends whom I've know for 15 years is a nonbeliever. She used to be plain agnostic but now she has moved a bit more into astrology and new age. Meanwhile, in the past seven or so years I have been active in church. I guess I have grown in my faith but I still have a lot of questions and things I don't understand. She has tried to get me involved with astrology a few times but I had to be firm, and now calls me closed minded and a super-Christian. She considers what she does as not religious and that anyone can benefit. I actually do not consider myself a super conservative Christian. It is a bit difficult handling this friendship, but I love her and will continue to treat her as a close friend. Any tips on how to handle this type of friendship where we butt heads all the time?
I just want to affirm your stand on rejecting the astrology temptation/test. Well done. I do not mean that in a spiteful way to your friend, no no. I only mean it is good for us to remain loyal to Almighty God and His instructions for us, as His children, even if it means offending, disappointing, or hurting another human being. (Though we should be careful not to offend, disappoint, or hurt unnecessarily.) He must come first and your response to her suggestion seems to prove where your loyalty lies. I only encourage you humbly, please do not slip in this commitment, dear Sister. Hold fast!

I, too, have one I love who is a non-believer in darkness- my closest cousin. I am seeking God's will in how to navigate this. To be honest, in my situation I believe (much like the warning No_Name_To_Change received from the Holy Spirit in his above post) God has led me to shed His light to her from a distance. I am not saying this is the course you should take. I am merely sharing what I believe Gad has led me to do in my own circumstance. I pray He leads you too, TheIndianGirl. 🙂
 
Dec 28, 2019
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#26
I've honestly been thinking a whole lot about my friendships with people who are close to me, but also not Christian. I have been praying for them for years, and nothing much has changed. My friends are also (mostly) online, and they are the ones who helped me in my grieving process when my best friend (who was the only believer I kept in contact with over the years) passed away last October. I haven't had very much fellowship with believers in the more recent past, but I miss it. I know that being within the midst of believers and seeking God is where I truly belong, and I miss it.
 

Deuteronomy

Well-known member
Jun 11, 2018
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#27
I haven't had very much fellowship with believers in the more recent past, but I miss it. I know that being within the midst of believers and seeking God is where I truly belong, and I miss it.
Hello Cloudsescape, first off, I see that you are still pretty new around here, so welcome to CChat :)

As far as fellowship with other believers goes/being in their midst and seeking God, is going to church not a possibility for you right now? I had trouble getting to Sunday morning services at one point, but continuing to be part of a weekly Bible study helped keep me connected to and stay in the midst of other believers :)

God bless you!

~Deut

1 Thessalonians 5
23 May the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body
be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

24 Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.
 
Dec 28, 2019
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#28
Hello Cloudsescape, first off, I see that you are still pretty new around here, so welcome to CChat :)

As far as fellowship with other believers goes/being in their midst and seeking God, is going to church not a possibility for you right now? I had trouble getting to Sunday morning services at one point, but continuing to be part of a weekly Bible study helped keep me connected to and stay in the midst of other believers :)

God bless you!

~Deut

1 Thessalonians 5
23 May the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body
be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
24 Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.
Thank you for the welcome!!
My father is a Pastor, and we have a home church as of right now. I don't get to fellowship with many people outside of our small congregation. We used to belong to a very good church, but then we moved and my dad knew the Lord was calling him to pastor his own church.
 
Dec 23, 2019
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#29
I think it’s possible, but depends on the person. Some nonbelievers are actually relatively moral and can have a lot in common with believers despite not believing in God. Others would want to drag us into sin, so we shouldn’t be equally yoked with those. A good friend will respect what you believe, even if they disagree. Do unto others what you wish they would do to you. Pray for all and love them as Jesus would, but use discernment. For those that are open to it, be a light and gently share as God gives you the opportunities. We plant the seeds, but God waters them and makes them grow (see 1 Corinthians 3:6-9). God might have had you plant some seeds, but you won’t be the one to see them grow yet as He leads them elsewhere.

For others that don’t receive our seeds, shake off the dust from your sandals. I’ve had friendships with believers and nonbelievers. Some friendships were great. I’m mostly thinking of the ones I had in childhood before the world’s corruptive influences enter. Others I did initially have idealistic expectations only to have to reflect on and make choices when I realized that they probably had more influence on me than I had on them. “Do not be deceived, ‘bad company corrupts good morals’” (1 Corinthians 15:33). It might be so slight we don’t even notice at first. That doesn’t necessarily mean to cut people out (though it might if they for example become hostile like the one person in your case), just that you wouldn’t participate in certain events or do certain things. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Some may be temptations and God testing us to see if we truly love Him above everything.

Not a simple answer. It depends. But pray to always do His will and He will direct our steps. He may have called us to be a witness for a time, but then it becomes somebody else’s turn and all we can do is pray. Good luck <3
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
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#30
One of my best friends whom I've know for 15 years is a nonbeliever. She used to be plain agnostic but now she has moved a bit more into astrology and new age. Meanwhile, in the past seven or so years I have been active in church. I guess I have grown in my faith but I still have a lot of questions and things I don't understand. She has tried to get me involved with astrology a few times but I had to be firm, and now calls me closed minded and a super-Christian. She considers what she does as not religious and that anyone can benefit. I actually do not consider myself a super conservative Christian. It is a bit difficult handling this friendship, but I love her and will continue to treat her as a close friend. Any tips on how to handle this type of friendship where we butt heads all the time?
My friend whom I discussed above has gone even more far field. She is learning to be a Taroh card reader and is going to training sessions. I've been noticing the events she's interested in on Facebook. Yesterday she was attending an event on Wicca and "magick." We do not talk religion. I've tried a couple of times and she quickly responded back she went to Catholic school and knows all about the Bible. She believes she has some control/and can decide over her immediate future through the Taroh card decks. My question, am I inviting demonic spirits by hanging out with her? I trust her, but there is some tension between us because of this. I wouldn't be surprised if she put some sort of spell on me. But since I do not believe in the power of these things, should I worry?
 

Rosemaryx

Senior Member
May 3, 2017
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#31
My friend whom I discussed above has gone even more far field. She is learning to be a Taroh card reader and is going to training sessions. I've been noticing the events she's interested in on Facebook. Yesterday she was attending an event on Wicca and "magick." We do not talk religion. I've tried a couple of times and she quickly responded back she went to Catholic school and knows all about the Bible. She believes she has some control/and can decide over her immediate future through the Taroh card decks. My question, am I inviting demonic spirits by hanging out with her? I trust her, but there is some tension between us because of this. I wouldn't be surprised if she put some sort of spell on me. But since I do not believe in the power of these things, should I worry?
Hi @TheIndianGirl ...
Seeing that she is going further into darkness , I myself would completely back off...
You have shone your light , and she refuses to see it , only Jesus can change her heart...

Do Not Be Unequally Yoked
13 As a fair exchange, I ask you as my children: Open wide your hearts also. 14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?…

The thing is , although you do not believe her spell ( if she was to put one on you ) would work , the thought is already in your mind...

Jesus did say we would lose our family to follow Him , and friends included for His name sake...

All you can do is pray for her , and take a big step back...
...xox...
 
May 14, 2019
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#33
I have wondered about this same subject many times and it’s interesting to see all the different perspectives and experiences on this subject. I hope this thread stays active for a while.
 

TheIndianGirl

Well-known member
Nov 22, 2019
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#34
Sometimes ya gotta know when to walk away. Sadly.
I have kept my distance a bit (meaning I don't really ask her regularly what she's been up to (because I don't want to know the answer), etc.) however I don't think I should just walk away. I think I should be there for my friends including nonbelievers.
 
May 14, 2019
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#35
I have kept my distance a bit (meaning I don't really ask her regularly what she's been up to (because I don't want to know the answer), etc.) however I don't think I should just walk away. I think I should be there for my friends including nonbelievers.
Honestly I think that this is probably a good approach; could be wrong though. However, you know that what she’s doing is clearly wrong and you want no part of it. I mean temptation can happen to anyone, of course, but it doesn’t really sound like you’re going to be tempted to join her anytime soon. I don’t know, I kind of think that by continuing to be there for her in case she needs you could be a good way of showing God’s Love to her and that you don’t wanna give up on her. Like I said before though, I could be completely off the map. Cause the other half of me wants to say, “she’s so far entrenched in darkness that I’m not sure if it’s even worth keeping a friendship with her. It might be better to just walk away.” I’ll be praying for the both of you guys.
 
Jul 22, 2020
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#36
I personally think it is fine to have non-believers as friends as long as you dont marry them. 2 of my closest friends dont really engage in Christian-related stuff and are part of the LGBT community. I cant judge whether or not they have been saved, but choose to love them regardless. I can relate to you somewhat because I too have mental health problems. I'm also introverted and dont have the best social skills :/
 

AndyMaleh

Well-known member
Jun 26, 2020
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Montreal, Quebec, Canada
#37
Is there a shortage of Christians to consider friendship with godless unconscious Satan followers? Or, is it just falling for the lust, greed, or pride of associating with them? Either way, I avoid godless unconscious Satan followers.

Never squander God's love on unsaved disobedient rebellious people when there are so many saved people who are ready to do God's bidding and help the Body of Christ in need.
 

AndyMaleh

Well-known member
Jun 26, 2020
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#38
By the way, when I was reborn as a Born Again Christian, I intuitively cut off contact with all of my old friends that are godless. I don't feel like subscribing to their shenanigans anymore.
 
Jul 22, 2020
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#39
Is there a shortage of Christians to consider friendship with godless unconscious Satan followers? Or, is it just falling for the lust, greed, or pride of associating with them? Either way, I avoid godless unconscious Satan followers.

Never squander God's love on unsaved disobedient rebellious people when there are so many saved people who are ready to do God's bidding and help the Body of Christ in need.
There is always a shortage of Christian's since not everyone in this world is saved. I not only associate with Christian's, but also non-Christians as well because to me that is the only way to preach the Gospel. I respect your thoughts, but we Christian's also dont want to come across to others as exclusive.
 

AndyMaleh

Well-known member
Jun 26, 2020
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#40
There is always a shortage of Christian's since not everyone in this world is saved. I not only associate with Christian's, but also non-Christians as well because to me that is the only way to preach the Gospel. I respect your thoughts, but we Christian's also dont want to come across to others as exclusive.
I’m sorry sweetie, but you don’t get to pick and choose who God includes and excludes. That is for God alone to decide. Obey God instead. Godspeed.