Just thought I'd post my opinion on this matter. There's a difference between being friends and being friendly. If your friends with a nonbeliever, then there's a chance your telling them you agree with whatever they're doing. Hanging around a lot of nonbelievers will eventually wear down your defences and start to sway you to they're ways of thinking and acting. I believe friendships should only be cultivated with other Christians. We should be friendly with everyone and show the love of Christ though our speech and actions. That is what will draw people to Jesus. NOT being friends with them.
Your thoughts on friendships with non-Christians?
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I tend to have closer friendships with believers. As I've gotten older I find it more difficult to be friends with non believers due to our lifestyles. I don't like to argue so avoiding certain topics is common but I just prefer to keep them at a distance. They seem to prefer that too.
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Camess, you made some good points. Sometimes friendships with nonbelievers do compromise our thoughts and actions. However, I would disagree about the “only” part. Two of our pastors wouldn’t have become Chrisitans without the initial Christians that befriended them, invited them over, and shared their faith. Our current pastor (the previous retired) said that they hung out and he observed them and the family and was like wow, these people are great I want to know more. If they hadn’t welcomed him and invited him into their lives and home, he wouldn’t have become Christian as his family wasn’t Christian and he didn’t know about Jesus. And when my brother became atheist/agnostic for a couple of years, we weren’t the ones that reached him. It was other Christians that befriended him and got him to seek the truth.
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Johari, that is great that you have closer friendships with believers. The more we look like the world the more the world will like and accept us, and the less we look like the world the more it will reject and/or hate us. Biblical. I think we can be friendly like Camess said, but it’s few the people you can truly count as your friend. Sometimes it is a non-believer, but you won’t agree on everything. Depending on various factors, for some it can work while for others it doesn’t. In a way you won’t truly feel as close to a person if you can’t share more of yourself with them and that includes sharing our faith. That doesn’t mean you’re not friends though. Just maybe at a different “level” of friendship if that makes sense. I think like you said sometimes we just avoid certain topics, but you never know when something (word or action) could be a seed planted that God will grow in the future (if we take advantage of the opportunity). Like I know someone that jogs with a group where not everybody is a believer but that doesn’t stop them from going to jog together and occasionally sharing something. And it works for them.
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I know I gave my 2 cents months ago, but lately something else has been on my mind. What about friendships with fellow Christians? Some listen to false teachers, some watch shows like “Lucifer” that portrays evil as good, some practice occult things, etcetera. I’m not talking about the “wolves in sheep’s clothing” that are purposely deceiving people (like the false teachers themselves), but a regular person following things that go against Scripture many times unknowingly. Basically, even fellow Christians could potentially cause another Christian to sin by encouraging ungodly behavior or thinking. In the end, whether with a believer or not, I think we need discernment for everything we do. Nobody is perfect. As believers we should keep each other accountable, warn each other in love, and build each other up. If not then we run the temptation or risk of joining them. Do we compromise or stand alone with Christ?
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Since it's been more than a year since I wrote the OP, I thought i would give a little update.
Basically, nothing's happened.
I mentioned that of my 3 unbelieving friends, I had only heard from one of them. That's remained true in the 12 months since then. I actually didn't hear so much from that one friend this year though, just a couple of times. Though I stopped visiting the site I knew her from and left her a way to contact me, if she ever decides to. As for the other 2, they've been just as gravely silent as they were when I first wrote this topic. One of them I never saw sign in since spring of '19. The other, presumably, still holds a grudge against me for arguments from years ago.
I had prayed often this year to hear word from them again to know if they were alright. Especially one of them who had wrestled some with suicidal ideation. I don't even know if she's still alive, to be honest, so that's why I wanted to hear from her again.
But as time goes on, I don't feel any spiritual fruit in this matter. I'm not sure I sense the presence of the Holy Spirit in guiding me to focus on this situation. I've even asked Him directly if I should or not, though I have had a hard time picking up on what His voice is telling me, whatever His answer may be.
So I find myself wondering often, even more strongly than before, if I should just make my peace that I will never hear from these friends again, and let them go, clean them from my mind. I can still include them in my general prayers about salvation for my unsaved friends/acquaintances, but I question if I should still focus on these three individuals specifically and getting an answer on them. It just seems frustrating to invest hope when I am not sure it is God's will in the first place.
Basically, nothing's happened.
I mentioned that of my 3 unbelieving friends, I had only heard from one of them. That's remained true in the 12 months since then. I actually didn't hear so much from that one friend this year though, just a couple of times. Though I stopped visiting the site I knew her from and left her a way to contact me, if she ever decides to. As for the other 2, they've been just as gravely silent as they were when I first wrote this topic. One of them I never saw sign in since spring of '19. The other, presumably, still holds a grudge against me for arguments from years ago.
I had prayed often this year to hear word from them again to know if they were alright. Especially one of them who had wrestled some with suicidal ideation. I don't even know if she's still alive, to be honest, so that's why I wanted to hear from her again.
But as time goes on, I don't feel any spiritual fruit in this matter. I'm not sure I sense the presence of the Holy Spirit in guiding me to focus on this situation. I've even asked Him directly if I should or not, though I have had a hard time picking up on what His voice is telling me, whatever His answer may be.
So I find myself wondering often, even more strongly than before, if I should just make my peace that I will never hear from these friends again, and let them go, clean them from my mind. I can still include them in my general prayers about salvation for my unsaved friends/acquaintances, but I question if I should still focus on these three individuals specifically and getting an answer on them. It just seems frustrating to invest hope when I am not sure it is God's will in the first place.
Have you tried reaching out to them? If you really want to know if she's still alive you can try calling or messaging her.
I know from experience it sucks when you're the only one or mostly the one who's always reaching out but sometimes that's the only way the friendship is maintained. I don't like friendships like that because it feels one sided.
I know from experience it sucks when you're the only one or mostly the one who's always reaching out but sometimes that's the only way the friendship is maintained. I don't like friendships like that because it feels one sided.
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I’d agree with Johari and try to reach out to them, especially to the one you’re worried about. If they answer, at least you’d know they’re alive. You can try to reach out even if it’s one-sided, but if you have no luck with any then we’re to shake the dust off our feet if we’re not welcome. I’d just keep them in your heart and prayers but move on. Though it’d be nice, we’re not always the ones to lead our friends to Jesus. I know whatever I said to my brother when he stopped believing he would take the wrong way, and so it was others who led him back to Christ. Jesus also was not always listened to in his hometown as shown when people asked things like “isn’t that the carpenter’s son?” But people everywhere else followed him. I’d try to reach out again first like Johari said, and then though it’s hard and we’d like to do more, sadly sometimes we do have to move on. They are not ready to hear and the seeds we planted if any did not land on good ground. Yet, keep them in your prayers because until they breathe their last breath, there’s always hope.
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So sorry, just logging in and seeing this now. I’m sorry you’ve lost contact with her. Is it just that they aren’t responding? If they have the same social media or phone number then maybe it’s just a question of showing unconditional love and support to them? Letting them know that they’re not alone and someone is thinking of them. They might be receiving your messages but not feel up to responding? I have a cousin that has basically disappeared and not made contact with anyone for months. She recently made contact again after maybe 4 months I hadn’t heard from her. It’s been minimal. No calls yet, but it’s something. If you can, keep reaching out now and then. If not, then all you can do at this point is pray for them.
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