Guys + Commitment = 'uhm...where did he go?'

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Oct 11, 2012
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#61
I believe when we are children, we have pure and uninhibited love toward everyone. We don't know about heartache or bad people. However, as we get older and we start to experience these things, we start to guard ourselves and are less likely to trust. Maybe some get hurt more than others, or maybe some are more sensitive and it affects them more. It could a personality trait, or our childhood.

What I think it is? Well, I do believe majority of it is from the way we're raised, or what we're influenced by. Long ago, it was pressed for people to get married, have children, and that's it. That was your life. Now, we're pressed to live life, be single, and it's okay if you never get married. More importantly, to explore your options and "test the car before you buy it".
Is this a bad thing? Well, in moderation it isn't. It's alright to date, and take your time getting married. However, it seems we take it to a new extreme. I believe we're scared of commitment, because we want to be free and experience life. We don't want to be 'chained down' to one person.
I believe it really takes someone special, who is willing to put in the work so we can learn how to trust again, and realize that our life isn't ending with commitment. (The reason I say this is because I have a HUGE fear of commitment, so this line is from that perspective.) Unfortunately, those people are becoming more rare, but they are still there. I guess all we can do is hope, whenever God thinks we're ready, he'll send us that person that we have that long-term relationship with. Really, if you think about it, I wouldn't want to land a man who is committed if I'm not, so it's all about timing. We're only single for a while, so we might as well enjoy it, and then when we're ready we'll find that special person.
 
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BlessedLovedByGod

Guest
#62
the word commitment exist? if it does exist I have to know where to find it. lol :D
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
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#63
I can't speak for men, but for a lot I think it can be a maturity thing. I do think someone who is a Christian will be more marriage minded. I think a Christian man might look for someone with the same values as him.

If I were a single gal I'd stick with the Christian guys. :eek:
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
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#64
It's not that I'm scared of committing, I just need to find someone worth committing and/or giving things up for. It's not my fault for being picky.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#66
yea men might say I love you first but how many of them actually mean it when they say it... because im sure most men say it first to get something or because they r up to no good
sorry... but its reality... God wants us to be wise not foolish
my Christian outlook on it )
How is making the statement "because they r up to no good" a CHRISTIAN outlook? lol hmmm..Yer' right,God doesn't want us to be foolish..but Jesus also commanded us to LOVE one another..and if I'm not mistaken,love believes the best of others. It's ok to admit that you've made some very poor choices in your past concerning the men you've chosen to date or sleep with...everyone has made bad choices at times. I think most people have a relationship they regret & feel like they were used or lied to & taken advantage of in some way. All I'm saying is not all men are up to no good.
 

AAAPlus

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2011
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#67
I'm just kinda jumping into this thread so maybe someone already touched on this...

I think the whole commitment issue for guys applies mostly to guys who just met a girl. For a guy and girl who have had a long-standing friendship (rather than pursuing a relationship with a relative stranger) they both pretty much know if they would have a relationship or not. That's my thought anyway...looking back I recall being very uneasy about getting into a relationship with someone I recently met, but getting into one with a long-term friend was a no-brainer.
 
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prettyinpink22

Guest
#68
How is making the statement "because they r up to no good" a CHRISTIAN outlook? lol hmmm..Yer' right,God doesn't want us to be foolish..but Jesus also commanded us to LOVE one another..and if I'm not mistaken,love believes the best of others. It's ok to admit that you've made some very poor choices in your past concerning the men you've chosen to date or sleep with...everyone has made bad choices at times. I think most people have a relationship they regret & feel like they were used or lied to & taken advantage of in some way. All I'm saying is not all men are up to no good.
I believe I said MOST and not ALL :) and yes I know God said to Love one another, but that's not the type of love we are discussing in this thread. now you can go off on me how what I am saying is not the Christian thing to say but hey there is no perfect Christian on this site I do believe. I was just stating my opinion that's all
 
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kayem77

Guest
#69
This could be the case at times, but some people do just generally fear the commitment. This is why some people, usually men, but not always, pass out on their wedding day. The day of commitment has arrived and it panics them.
Yeah, or rather some people just want to stay on a lower stage of commitment , f.i. commitment as friends instead of commitment as a spouse. It takes more sacrifice to reach those levels of commitment.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#70
I believe I said MOST and not ALL :) and yes I know God said to Love one another, but that's not the type of love we are discussing in this thread. now you can go off on me how what I am saying is not the Christian thing to say but hey there is no perfect Christian on this site I do believe. I was just stating my opinion that's all
LOL..I'm not gonna go off on ya'..ok sorry if I misread or didn't understand what ya' wrote. No biggie.
 
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MissCris

Guest
#72
I...didn't...read all of this thread...

I used to be afraid of commitment. Maybe I didn't really understand what it meant, never having seen it growing up. At any rate, I was the girl thinking, "Spend the REST. OF. MY. LIFE with ONE guy?! Horror of horrors!!!"

...so I got married.

...twice...

I seem to have figured out the whole commitment business, though. So that's...yeah.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#73
LOL..yeah commitment is a tough hurdle to overcome for sure if you've been kicked around a lot. I suppose that's why we are supposed to guard our hearts & trying to do that without the guidance of Jesus...forget about it,we'll screw it up every time.
 
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buckeyegirl700

Guest
#74
Commitment is a huge step. Something I don't think should be taken lightly. I have been left broken hearted alot before. I honestly don't know how relationships work with men who are believers. I have never dated a Christian man before. At this point in my life I have decided to follow Jesus and only want a commited relationship with a Christian man that leads to marriage.
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#75
Commitment is a huge step. Something I don't think should be taken lightly. I have been left broken hearted alot before. I honestly don't know how relationships work with men who are believers. I have never dated a Christian man before. At this point in my life I have decided to follow Jesus and only want a commited relationship with a Christian man that leads to marriage.
That's an awesome outlook to have & with that,I really don't see how you can go wrong. Much Blessings to you!!!
 
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buckeyegirl700

Guest
#76
That's an awesome outlook to have & with that,I really don't see how you can go wrong. Much Blessings to you!!!
The only thing I have to do is find my prince charming, lol!
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#77
The only thing I have to do is find my prince charming, lol!
I'm sure he's out there...and if he's not,then God will help you cross that bridge when / if the time comes.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
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#78
Things just aren't the way they used to be.

Statistically in the U.S., women now "cheat" at an equal rate to men.
Some studies put cheating of women at a much higher rate than men.

This isn't the 1950's... the general population of women are no longer "sugar and spice, and everything nice".

There are plenty of wonderful, God fearing women out there...
but there is also plenty of reason for men to be fairly paranoid.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#79
I think I might like to be committed, as long as they have cable and someone will wrap my meds in gummybears.
 

Stuey

Senior Member
Aug 17, 2009
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#80
They fit better in strawberries, when you cutt them open they tend to like have a hole in the middle.