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Either, but I had a long term committed relationship in mind. 
I used to have long laundry lists, and even found people who mostly fit them, but it didn't work out. After many failed relationships, life lessons, and for lack of a better term, progress, I've come to my understanding (still flawed, but better than before) today.
The Basics:
1. Earnestly loves and is seeking God above all else. I'm not saying I'm looking for a pastor or a saint, but just a devoted Christian who earnestly wants Christ to be everywhere in her life. She can be broken, flawed, and even badly struggling (trust me, I've had this type more than once), but if Christ is her inconsistently consistent (Relient K reference) focus, then she's headed in the right direction.
2. She has to love me more than any other human being. I'm a complex guy, but I have some grasp of what love is. Just like every other human, I need it, and a far second to God (obviously), she has to truly love me. Love is more than feelings, infatuation, etc...she has to CHOOSE me, everyday, over everyone else, over and over again. Children grow up and leave/die, and everyone else comes and goes. Very far second to God, I have to be her next deepest love.
3. God has to give us a thumbs up. I'm still struggling with this, and it's been years. The things is, this is a three way street. We could choose each other, but I had a relationship like that in which, as I experienced and continue to believe, God told me it wasn't right. I ended that relationship, and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Not only will we have to choose each other, God will have to give 'His blessing' for us to go down that road.
Possible (not definite) Deal Breakers:
1. I'm a musician/singer/songwriter, and music is a huge, integral part of my daily life. Whether I'm singing it, creating it, listening to it, or quoting it...she'll have to love music, because it's an intimate part of who I am.
2. I'm a pastor who's 'on call' by God. (especially being in the Methodist tradition which is itinerant...) So, that means we'll be moving a lot, and apart from whatever her regular work/hobbies are, she will be a 'pastor's wife' and 'partner in ministry'. This is no small thing to simply say 'no, it's cool...' to.
3. I have a close family, and she'll have to be a part of that. There's also a possibility that my music or ministry could create ample opportunity to often be around several people in all manner of settings...so that's a bridge to tackle, too.
4. The list continues a bit, so I won't go on, but basically, she'll just have do deal with my life, just like I will with hers. Some things can be talked about/negotiated, but others are irrevocable and uncompromising. She'll have to love and accept me for me, and I'll have to do the same for her. All of this may sound simple and broad (which it is to some extent), but you'd be surprised how difficult it can be to find...
There are quite a few qualities that I look for, but I will name my top three. This is besides the givens of being a male and being a Christian.
1. Patience, but pushing when necessary. I am shy. I can fling up my walls and shut stuff/people out when I'm upset. I can be a mess. I am open on here, but in real life, I tend to...not be. I suppose it's the anonymity. But in the "real world", I am much less trusting. I need someone who is patient during those times and will also be patient while we work through those things together.
Also, because I ask a lot of questions and he'll have to have the patience to put up with that.
2. Respectful. Of me; of my emotions. I'm an emotional person. I can be passionate. Someone who would tell me, "Well that's stupid you feel that way" just crushes me. It's happened before with other people. I don't care if you don't get how I feel, but respect it. Being respectful to my family is also necessary.
AND, going off what Nod said...respect when I'm reading. It's a pet peeve of mine when people are trying to make small talk when I am clearly trying to read. I love reading, I can be so connected with a book that I don't know what else is going on around me, so I don't like to be interrupted.
3. Thoughtful. This could mean many things. It could be in awe of God's creation (simply watching a lightning show together), it could be in how he treats me ("I saw a cheetah on a billboard today and it reminded me of you because I know how much you love them", or just little things), or it could be in that he is thoughtful of things in life and is inquisitive like myself.
And yes, the cheetah thing is real. I love cheetahs.
1. Patience, but pushing when necessary. I am shy. I can fling up my walls and shut stuff/people out when I'm upset. I can be a mess. I am open on here, but in real life, I tend to...not be. I suppose it's the anonymity. But in the "real world", I am much less trusting. I need someone who is patient during those times and will also be patient while we work through those things together.
Also, because I ask a lot of questions and he'll have to have the patience to put up with that.
2. Respectful. Of me; of my emotions. I'm an emotional person. I can be passionate. Someone who would tell me, "Well that's stupid you feel that way" just crushes me. It's happened before with other people. I don't care if you don't get how I feel, but respect it. Being respectful to my family is also necessary.
AND, going off what Nod said...respect when I'm reading. It's a pet peeve of mine when people are trying to make small talk when I am clearly trying to read. I love reading, I can be so connected with a book that I don't know what else is going on around me, so I don't like to be interrupted.
3. Thoughtful. This could mean many things. It could be in awe of God's creation (simply watching a lightning show together), it could be in how he treats me ("I saw a cheetah on a billboard today and it reminded me of you because I know how much you love them", or just little things), or it could be in that he is thoughtful of things in life and is inquisitive like myself.
And yes, the cheetah thing is real. I love cheetahs.
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For some folks, it seems like the same hobbies and interests are important.
My wife is a song-writer. She wrote a couple before I met her but didn't take it too seriously, but recently, she's written an album's worth of praise and worship type music. Eventually, we'd like her to cut a CD. She's played the guitar since I've known here and has learned some keyboard.
I can sing okay. I sing in church, and I've been in a few choirs. But I'm not a die hard musician.
But I do remember how it impacted me when I arrived at her boarding house to pick her up and she wasn't ready. I overheard her singing in praises to the Lord in the bathroom while she was getting ready, and that really impressed me about her, her heart to praise the Lord. So I did appreciate her music. I just wasn't heavily involved in that as a hobby.
I think having to have the same hobby is overrated. It's important to have things in common if the things in common are faith, values, and ho you are going to live your lives and operate as a family. But hobbies and interests? It doesn't matter that much, IMO. If a wife's interests are window shopping for purses with friends-- that's pure torture. Let her do that with her female friends. And does a man expect his wife to join him playing basketball or golf with the guys, or going hunting? There may be a woman who likes those things, but that really isn't that important. Occasional time apart doing hobbies isn't necessarily that big of a deal for a relationship, and when you have babies you may not have time for the hobbies then anyway, so it doesn't matter so much.
I think you can limit yourself if you try to find someone with a specific personality type. For example, if you say you am outgoing, and you need someone quiet and demure so she doesn't upstage you. You may miss out on an outgoing woman. Or if you are a shy woman, looking for another shy man. You may miss out on an outgoing man who would complement you well.
You may want a funny person because you like funny people, but you could also hit it off with a serious but compassionate person who kind of soothes your soul and is more enjoyable to be around than the best comedian.
I think it's a lot more important that your personalities 'click' than that the person fits a preconceived notion of what type of personality you are looking for. You may not know you like a certain type of personality until you experience being around it.
It's not a big deal, probably, unless you are using these characteristics on a list that you actually use to filter out prospective partners. I think it's good to have a list of issues related to faith and values you won't compromise on, but not for hobbies and personality issues. Those could go on a wish list you don't mind throwing in the trash can if you meet someone who is worth it. You don't want to compromise on your partner being a believer. You can also keep moral issues like not being an adulterer and accepting Biblical teachings on marriage on the list.
My wife is a song-writer. She wrote a couple before I met her but didn't take it too seriously, but recently, she's written an album's worth of praise and worship type music. Eventually, we'd like her to cut a CD. She's played the guitar since I've known here and has learned some keyboard.
I can sing okay. I sing in church, and I've been in a few choirs. But I'm not a die hard musician.
But I do remember how it impacted me when I arrived at her boarding house to pick her up and she wasn't ready. I overheard her singing in praises to the Lord in the bathroom while she was getting ready, and that really impressed me about her, her heart to praise the Lord. So I did appreciate her music. I just wasn't heavily involved in that as a hobby.
I think having to have the same hobby is overrated. It's important to have things in common if the things in common are faith, values, and ho you are going to live your lives and operate as a family. But hobbies and interests? It doesn't matter that much, IMO. If a wife's interests are window shopping for purses with friends-- that's pure torture. Let her do that with her female friends. And does a man expect his wife to join him playing basketball or golf with the guys, or going hunting? There may be a woman who likes those things, but that really isn't that important. Occasional time apart doing hobbies isn't necessarily that big of a deal for a relationship, and when you have babies you may not have time for the hobbies then anyway, so it doesn't matter so much.
I think you can limit yourself if you try to find someone with a specific personality type. For example, if you say you am outgoing, and you need someone quiet and demure so she doesn't upstage you. You may miss out on an outgoing woman. Or if you are a shy woman, looking for another shy man. You may miss out on an outgoing man who would complement you well.
You may want a funny person because you like funny people, but you could also hit it off with a serious but compassionate person who kind of soothes your soul and is more enjoyable to be around than the best comedian.
I think it's a lot more important that your personalities 'click' than that the person fits a preconceived notion of what type of personality you are looking for. You may not know you like a certain type of personality until you experience being around it.
It's not a big deal, probably, unless you are using these characteristics on a list that you actually use to filter out prospective partners. I think it's good to have a list of issues related to faith and values you won't compromise on, but not for hobbies and personality issues. Those could go on a wish list you don't mind throwing in the trash can if you meet someone who is worth it. You don't want to compromise on your partner being a believer. You can also keep moral issues like not being an adulterer and accepting Biblical teachings on marriage on the list.
C
Some very classy people grow potatoes, Miss Catlynn!
