What will NOT be in Heaven?

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A

arwen83

Guest
#1
Meant to be humorous. I know there will be someone serious posting how we don't know....


McDonalds and screaming kids in Walmart having temper tantrums.
 
B

BananaPie

Guest
#2
Sin and Lawyers will no longer exist in Heaven.
 

JimJimmers

Senior Member
Apr 26, 2012
2,589
75
48
#3
Funny story to start us off, Arwen :)

When my little brother was about 4, he asked if his sandbox would be in Heaven. I told him it wouldn't. He said he didn't want to go if his sandbox wasn't there.

Ooohhh, this was tattling gold right there. I immediately told my Dad on my irreverent heretical brother. Dad asked me what I was basing my information on, that his sandbox wouldn't be in Heaven.

Good question.

Dad said that everything that was supposed to be in Heaven would be there, so if that included the sandbox, it would be there. So in the end, no one got in trouble, but I learned a good lesson.

I guess though, I can safely add atheists to the list of things that won't be in Heaven. Not speaking of people who currently call themselves atheists, I can't say if they will repent. But I know no one in Heaven will be one!
 
K

KJV15John11

Guest
#4
I'm sorry, but if there isn't any Mr. Pibb, Mexican food, or Bismarks (chocolate covered custard filled for the Krispy Kreme faithful), it doesn't sound like heaven to me. I might have to rethink this whole thing. Who isn't going to heaven? Huh? Maybe I can be adopted into the Khardasians. Maybe I can become Justin Bieber's haircut, Miley Cyrus' twerking, or anything worn by Lady Gaga. Yep, that might do it.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,602
4,273
113
#5
I'm pretty sure there won't be any punk rock, metal or rap music in heaven. :p
 
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
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#6
Meant to be humorous. I know there will be someone serious posting how we don't know....


McDonalds and screaming kids in Walmart having temper tantrums.
People who don't pull for the Iowa Hawkeyes and Nevada Wolf Pack.
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
6,041
3,315
113
#7
I guess though, I can safely add atheists to the list of things that won't be in Heaven. Not speaking of people who currently call themselves atheists, I can't say if they will repent. But I know no one in Heaven will be one!
But then again, it's safe to say that there aren't any atheists in hell either.
 

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
40
48
#8
I'm pretty sure there won't be any punk rock, metal or rap music in heaven. :p
Ouch...well, I mean, if you don't want to stay in the concert area of heaven, then that's your choice. ^_~

Hate, Pain, Despair...Politics, Sexuality(Maybe..dunno), Division...Lonlieness, Bordeum, Fear...

Really, the things heaven Doesn't have is almost as exciting as what it Does have...but then, not really, because being able to actually see and even touch God would be indescribably awesome!
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
48
27
#9
You won't have bad customer service in heaven. Or tech support you can barely understand.
 
F

FireWire

Guest
#10
iphones and ipads though I'm beginning to wonder lol
 
B

blueorchidjd

Guest
#13
brokenkeyboards
 
B

blueorchidjd

Guest
#14
howdareyoubillcosby
 
K

KJV15John11

Guest
#16
Addiction will be gone so sorry Starbucks faithful.

No more child-proof lids, Christmas lights where when one bulb goes out they all go out, fruit cake that has been regifted, ALL diet pops (taste the same as regular my fanny), and questions like "does this dress make me look fat?"
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#17
I know some of us believe there will be some animals in Heaven, but what about sharks? I can't imagine seeing a shark in Heaven............ or a cockroach ugh gross. Oh and long lines for the restroom.....will we need to use the restroom in Heaven? *ponders*
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#18
I know some of us believe there will be some animals in Heaven, but what about sharks? I can't imagine seeing a shark in Heaven... ...or a cockroach, ugh gross.
...those lawyers specifically will never be in Heaven. :D
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#19
Dirty diapers.
Exhaustion after several nights of very little sleep followed by early mornings.
Alarm clocks.
Telemarketers.