What will NOT be in Heaven?

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KJV15John11

Guest
#41
#41
BananaPie said:
...uh... Black gold, TX tea?
Have you been listening to a story about a man named Jed? :D
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These young whipper snappers don't understand your reference. It hasn't been viewed on YouTube a million times yet as they sit around their concrete ponds. It can't be downloaded as an app on their new do-hickey. They think pop culture is Pepsi Next and whatever new flavor Mountain Dew comes out with.


Also, not in heaven, people who can't stay on topic on a thread. Now, back to the yarn I was spinning for ya folks . . .
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#43
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#43
Laundry, I won't have to do laundry anymore!!!
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#44
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
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#44
The possibility of someone pulling their nails over a chalkboard.
Rude customers/people.
People who insist on talking or being on their phones in a movie theater.
My clumsiness.
Humidity.
 
A

arb71

Guest
#45
#45
Traffic! Alarm clocks! Laundry!
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#46
#46
Judgmental deer.
 
AsifinPassing

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
#47
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
40
48
#47
On the issue of Sweat Tea...Red Diamond or Gold Peak...there may be others, but they'll all pale in comparison... ^_~
 
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greenguy23

Banned
#48
Aug 3, 2013
35
2
0
#48
ErraticEmily hopefully because I can't stand people who don't like people to vent on a venting forum
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#49
#49
Daniela said:
marilyn manson won't be there
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My youth pastor, many many moons ago...(okay, back in 1995ish)...when Manson first hit the scene, preached a sermon that kind of cut me to the heart about the assumptions we make about people.

God loves Marilyn Manson.

To some of us, that's absolutely mind-boggling. Now, I'm not saying that Daniela here is wrong, nor am I saying she's right. I'm just saying that God wants Manson to turn his life over willingly, just as we all have. He's willing to forgive him. Kind of stunning, yeah?

Who knows, maybe, praise God, it happens. So, in a very real way, Daniela, I honestly hope you're wrong. ^_^
 
R

Relena7

Guest
#50
#50
Toothbrushes. (no germs in heaven so won't need em)
Diets. Treadmills. Scales (the kind we weigh ourselves on). The latest secrets to losing weight. NONE OF THEM WILL BE THERE! Because there will be no weight.
Pointless loud dogs barking. All the good doggies will be chillax enough to not bark.
Hospitals.
Foods with high-fructose corn syrup in them.
Infomercials. :p


JimJimmers said:
Funny story to start us off, Arwen :)

When my little brother was about 4, he asked if his sandbox would be in Heaven. I told him it wouldn't. He said he didn't want to go if his sandbox wasn't there.
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You should have said, "No sandbox... but there will be beaches." :)
 
wademach1977

wademach1977

Member
#52
Apr 10, 2011
98
3
8
#52
The biggest thing to me that will not be in heaven is death and sickness.
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#53
#53
Where to start...

Well, right now I have stupid allergies... Those for sure won't be in Heaven. The runny noses, the sneezing, the sore throats... None of it. Not that I want to die young, but I can't wait!!! :)
 
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Smudge

Guest
#54
#54
Dentists, Doctors, traffic cops, lawyers, and politicians will be out of a job.

Cellphones, Spam, and annoyingly aggressive drivers will have to wait outside the pearly gates.

I'm afraid we'll have to neglect Facebook for the rest of eternity, and I'm not positive, but we may never sneeze again. So we'll have to come up with a new reason to randomly bless one another. I'd recommend nose picking but I'm not sure if THAT will be in Heaven either. I guess that also means that Kleenex tissues will be no more.


Credit cards, we'll forget, all bills for that matter.

And finally, I don't think we'll need bandaids- so use your favorite cartoon brand while you can.


ADDITIONAL---

I didn't see that post above me until after I posted. Now what a strange coincidence it is that we'd both talk about noses? :p
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#56
#56
I'mma just leave this here...for Cristen...

2370104942_548126921f_z.jpg
 
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greenguy23

Banned
#57
Aug 3, 2013
35
2
0
#57
colalella2891 said:
That's a bit harsh... :/
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sorry I feel a little better now I was upset before its not like I want her left out or anything but I did post a thread one time of if I would even want to go to heaven because it seems like all the people with good luck and are good looking mostly go there because its easy to be good when you have a good life. Errotic Emily is similar to the type of people I'm talking about. The type with nothing wrong in her life so she coasts to heaven judging all the people that have it rough. Do I want to be there if that is the case. Sometimes I wonder if the demons wouldn't judge me like the pretty angels would.
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#58
#58
greenguy23 said:
sorry I feel a little better now I was upset before its not like I want her left out or anything but I did post a thread one time of if I would even want to go to heaven because it seems like all the people with good luck and are good looking mostly go there because its easy to be good when you have a good life. Errotic Emily is similar to the type of people I'm talking about. The type with nothing wrong in her life so she coasts to heaven judging all the people that have it rough. Do I want to be there if that is the case. Sometimes I wonder if the demons wouldn't judge me like the pretty angels would.
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Don't say that bro... Of course you want to go to Heaven. God is there. The enemy just deceives, lies, and betrays. But God LOVES you. SO MUCH. He loves you more than you can imagine, and He's always thinking of you even when you don't feel it.

When it comes to Emily, I don't know her at all. But what I do know is everyone has their problems. Nobody has a perfect life. I used to think this one popular guy at my old school had it all, but I found out that his dad was an alcoholic. You just never know what people have to deal with. Everyone has their own struggles. The only one who was perfect in this world was Jesus (and even Jesus had stuff to overcome, He overcame the world). I don't know what you're going through bro, but overcome. Find comfort in God, He loves you.
 
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Smudge

Guest
#59
#59
Greenguy- I think I may have found something that is bugging you. If it is, then YAY we can rejoice together!

I think that you are making the mistake of believing that good works can make up for bad works. One single sin will send you to hell, even if it's just looking a man/woman lustfully. That's why Jesus died on the cross. Because no one can coast to heaven.

No one has it easy, there are people who think they don't need Jesus- but in truth they need him just as badly as every prostitute and murderer does.

For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. You'll find that one in Romans.

It's tough, but you gotta forgive the nitwits who judge you.(Not a reference to Errotic Emily- just people in general((we sinners, yo))) You need to forgive them before you sin and curse them.((Or judge them for judging you- that's another no-no.))

And beware that thought- if the demons wouldn't judge you like the angels would.

I'm dead serious, beware that thought.

You have an enemy who seeks to destroy you. He'll coax you in with sweet words of praise and acceptance- but the second you stand before Christ he'll stab you right in the back.

I find that it helps me, when I feel like I'm failing a lot, to not worry about what everyone else is going through. Just cling to God. Focus on him. Makes it so much easier to see the lies of Satan for what they are.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#60
#60
Welllll, I just wrote the longest PM telling him not to make assumptions about people (because I know for a fact that Em has not had the easiest, happiest life), and click send...BANNED. *sigh*

Just one more person to pray for. >_<
 
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