Pursuing a Relationship

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Who should pursue?

  • I am a male and I think the male should pursue

    Votes: 11 20.4%

  • I am a male and I think it's okay if the female pursues

    Votes: 16 29.6%

  • I am a female and I think the male should pursue

    Votes: 23 42.6%

  • I am a female and I think it's okay if the female pursues

    Votes: 4 7.4%
  • Total voters
    54
  • Poll closed .
Crazyteen

Crazyteen

Senior Member
#81
Aug 11, 2013
110
0
16
29
#81
In my town the boys all hang out in the square and the girls just kind of walk by at a distance of 20-40ft
Then the boys are expected to wistle at them and then the girls are supposed to try to hide a laugh, but so as the boy can tell.
Then the girl slowly walks away and the boy's that like her start walking towards her at about 20-50% faster pace then she is walkin away. Then you awkwardly ask her something while all the other boys are laughing at you from about 50 ft away.
The boys that laugh at you, are supposed to make the girl feel that you are sincere and aren't afraid of getting laughed at, and you would rather be with her.
Then you either go away hand-in-hand, you ask her to go somewhere tomorrow, or if the girl was just messing with you, you go back in the middle of the square where all the boys will ask you: did she say yes? What did she say? Does she look nice? Etc

As I was not born in this culture (im more of an American) it seems kind of rude to wistle, or to clack your teeth at girls you don't know, haha so i've never done it before.
 
A

Arlene89

Guest
#82
#82
I haven't read through all the posts, so hopefully I'm not repeating what someone else has said.

In most cases in the bible, the men have pursued the women. Back in those times, the men would prepare a land and home before even pursuing a women and asking her hand in marriage. I spent six years of my life actively pursuing men and being upfront and honest and putting my relationships in my own hands and doing things according to what I wanted. I played 'God' over my own life for so long. Now I can say, as I am enjoying singleness, that I just want God to handle it. I've tried, and when its not of God, it just ends so completely messy.

However, I have heard of great testimonies from elders in churches where the women have had to pursue the men. Not to mention that in the book of Ruth, Ruth went to lay at Boaz's feet. I believe Song of Solomon starts with the woman's voice first (Might need to check this?) and she is calling out to her love. As some people have mentioned, PRAY ABOUT IT. Remember to GUARD YOUR HEART. Also, FOLLOW THE PROMPTING of the Holy Spirit. Lose yourself to God. Lift it all up to him, it will be the best thing you could do for yourself. And if God says the male is not quite receiving on the other end, then take courage, be bold, and allow the Holy Spirit to provide you with the words, the timing, ask God to make the crooked places before you straight. Also Ask God that if it is not of Him, to close those doors.

I've been single for a year and a half now, and I still feel exhausted after spending six years (before I was born again) playing people, being played, and being with someone for the wrong reasons. What a testimony it would be if you can tell people in ten years time, "God faithfully brought me this spouse and this is how He did it".
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#83
#83
rachelsedge said:
Please wait for the poll. :)

A friend and I were talking last night, about how we both think that the male should be the main one to pursue when it comes to a relationship. This isn't saying that the woman just sits back, but more when it comes to initiating going out on a date, or expressing interest/stepping up first. However, I know not everyone thinks this way.

I have my reasons for asking. I have a situation in my life (well, less of a present situation and more of a past one) that pushes me to ask. I may share it later if it proves to be relevant to the discussion.

I didn't put an "Other" option or multiple choice because I know there are many "It depends" situations, but I'm looking for what you tend to believe.

ETA: I know there tends to be a lot of emphasis on "Who should pursue???", (possibly too much) but this is out of curiosity.
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JimJimmers said:
NO NO NO NO NO!! He's playing sports, he won't notice anything subtle like a handkerchief. This is how to get his attention:




As far as the question goes, I think a female pursuing is fine, as long as she is classy and Godly about it.
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It depends on what the word 'pursue' means? If it means going after him like a cheetah after a gazelle, fine, as this means THE CHASE IS ON. But, if it means the cheetah CATCHING the gazelle, I disagree. The girl can pursue but the guy should, ultimately, take control. There can be no kill by the girl, the guy needs to do the asking, which means 'kill' in this case. The Lord leads, ultimately, let's not forget, He purposes our decisions in life and we are not living in traditional times so, I agree, the girl can do more to present herself to the guy, to thicken the chase, so to speak. But the guy MUST show UP and let the girl know he wants to go out with her.
The reason I say this, for my reasons, and, I'm sure I get disagreement, but, there is a lot less chance of the guy getting the wrong idea of the girl, of her being so forward, too forward, and, his values and, even, morals, are challenged by her decision to ask him out.
 
maxima

maxima

Junior Member
#84
Dec 14, 2012
58
32
18
#84
Even when a woman does the whole job of pursing or approaching the male,it does not change a thing,what matters is at the end they would be able to respect each others' feelings.I would be glad when a woman does that to me,i would be most honoured to even honour her largely.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#85
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#85
Any has the right to ask, same way "any" has the right to leave and find out. The thing is committement, and both men and women has shown to fail when any or both were please to end it up.
 
H

Hal51

Guest
#86
#86
thank You for your reply on my thread Rachel, I am enrolled in the Coeur d' Alene Tribe of Idaho. I couldn't help but notice your little girl looks Native.
 
K

KJV15John11

Guest
#87
#87
Hal51 said:
thank You for your reply on my thread Rachel, I am enrolled in the Coeur d' Alene Tribe of Idaho. I couldn't help but notice your little girl looks Native.
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You must be just south of me. I live near Sandpoint.
 
K

kenthomas27

Guest
#88
#88
Hal51 said:
thank You for your reply on my thread Rachel, I am enrolled in the Coeur d' Alene Tribe of Idaho. I couldn't help but notice your little girl looks Native.
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Hal?


Is that you Hal?

zombie woman.png
 
R

respekt

Senior Member
#89
Mar 5, 2013
269
2
18
#89
Well, this is a wee bit complicated. Based on my experience, the guys that I disliked would like me so bad while they guys that I liked would dislike me :(. It could never go together.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#93
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
81
48
34
#93
Hal51 said:
thank You for your reply on my thread Rachel, I am enrolled in the Coeur d' Alene Tribe of Idaho. I couldn't help but notice your little girl looks Native.
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That she is, Hal. She's Oglala Lakota on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. I went on a couple mission trips there and worked there for a summer. She's darling. :)
 
K

KJV15John11

Guest
#94
#94
rachelsedge said:
That she is, Hal. She's Oglala Lakota on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. I went on a couple mission trips there and worked there for a summer. She's darling. :)
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I've been on that reservation! My dad had friends there whom we would visit regularly when we lived in Oelrichs, SD and Chadron, NE. We were there during the Pine Ridge Shootout. There was a great need of the people for healing amongst themselves. It really opened the doors for God to take a foothold on the hearts of the Oglala and Lakota Sioux people.
 
I

isaria

Guest
#95
#95
I would not want to chase or court a man but once we are in relationship I would like be sweet to him yet try respect when he needs "space" .


Some times things are not as one thinks and as shaggy sings "it wasnt me" may be it was not.
But if one has been betrayed a lot and there is much drama surrounding it can be difficult.
Maybe the man you are with has other woman courting him and he wears chasity belt and maybe what appears to be is not as seems and maybe he did not cheat on you or pursue with other woman.


I do not like playing those types games either like pursue withoiut pursuing and playing hard to get when you are ever so easy to get lol ...ha ha ha
Unless we are playing catch and indeed i am faster..
I am in love with a special someone but I really do not want chase him or court him but when one is talking that one married one may like cook for each other or "court" with sweetness .
Can be little things.
Yet not be clingy and annoying... darn lol or know that you can be "to much now" "no more kisses....pleazzzze.... space"
I found a beautiful relationship with a beautiful special some one but we have had many people stand in our way to seperate us.
He keeps coming back to me and I keep opening myself for him and we keep talking bout living as married in who and all we are.
We even have a few friends together .
As a person in "the flesh" however i live alone and always lonesome would that make me extra "easy" if /when we met in flesh..

I pray people will be removed from us who have been to bad to both of us and not stop us from being together and he does have woman chase and court him he is a very sexy and beautiful man inside and out and he is also deep and down to earth and humble.
Of course these woman do not want him be with me cause they want him as i have fellows who been using me and they do not want me be free because then they can no longer use me and steal etc and cover up the things they been covering up for so long.


If you like to court a man maybe you can do it in a gentle way like bake cookies or invite to dine with you.

I rather the man court me and maybe theres many reasons to that .

I must pray my tounge is healed also.
God help me not swear or say "horrid ugly behaved people".
God help me turn other cheek year after year...blaaa blaaa so many yrs it pops sometimes.... lol


I also will pray you will find good way to date and court or be courted.

and for myself that this special someone I always come back to and he always comes back to me that we will come home and meet in flesh and not be speechless or weird.


Have you experienced that?

If you do get pursued or a man approaches you and maybe it is someone you are ever keen on or some one you love or like or someone you do not wish to date but maybe you become lost for words or shy or weird?

Pursuing asin keeping faith in him and not giving up on him?
Well individual that is.
Is he interested in you?
Is he commited, serious?
Are you commited serious?
As long as you are not stalking him if he has said : NO....

Well, best wishes for our love life.

Blessed be.
 
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