If A Woman Isn't Married By Age 50, Will She Be Alone Forever?
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This is great, Chatter, and I do wish you the best and hope you are content with your life.
This may not apply to you at all, so please disregard this as just my own personal observation over time. What I've found, in some cases, is that many Christians will put on a good Christian front ("I found Jesus and I don't need anything else! He's always with me and He fills every void in my life!,"), then speak to others in a harsh and judging manner because they figure, "If I accepted this state of being alone in the name of the Lord, so can everyone else."
They talk about their contentment in Christ... and if it's genuine, GREAT. Who could ask for anything more?
But, more often... They're convincing themselves, and trying to convince everyone else by putting on a Praise Jesus Mask... because deep down, they're disappointed, angry, and bitter over the fact that their life did not turn out the way they had hoped.
And the Bible says that out of the heart, the mouth speaks.
This may not apply to you at all, so please disregard this as just my own personal observation over time. What I've found, in some cases, is that many Christians will put on a good Christian front ("I found Jesus and I don't need anything else! He's always with me and He fills every void in my life!,"), then speak to others in a harsh and judging manner because they figure, "If I accepted this state of being alone in the name of the Lord, so can everyone else."
They talk about their contentment in Christ... and if it's genuine, GREAT. Who could ask for anything more?
But, more often... They're convincing themselves, and trying to convince everyone else by putting on a Praise Jesus Mask... because deep down, they're disappointed, angry, and bitter over the fact that their life did not turn out the way they had hoped.
And the Bible says that out of the heart, the mouth speaks.
N
Just wanted to add this. My dad passed when my mum was 64. They were married 43 years. She met a man while doing things she enjoyed with the church. She married him at the age of 70. He passed on. She lived alone for many more years. She passed on this year. She was 90 years old. Live your life. Have fun. You never know what will happen if you are open to it.
I've seen your posts, soulsearch. I've read some of them. I don't know why you are still single. Sometimes, I think it absolutely has to do with how available we are to new opportunities. I'm not saying to go against your values or Christian beliefs. I'm saying to be open to possibilities within those personal boundaries.
I've seen your posts, soulsearch. I've read some of them. I don't know why you are still single. Sometimes, I think it absolutely has to do with how available we are to new opportunities. I'm not saying to go against your values or Christian beliefs. I'm saying to be open to possibilities within those personal boundaries.
K
My grandmother was widowed recently and has since met and begun living with another man, who is her age. 65+-
Of course they haven't married yet for reasons that are beyond me but they do love each other, so I don't think its age that stops people. The problem is you need to be around real people your age then you can always find love.
Of course they haven't married yet for reasons that are beyond me but they do love each other, so I don't think its age that stops people. The problem is you need to be around real people your age then you can always find love.
I like you.. lol. You just seem to be a great lady. I've wondered the same things before.. and like you I'm not desperate .. If I was all I have to do is lower my standards and poof instant relationship. I don't just want an instant relationship though.. I want what God wants for me.
I always enjoy reading what you post.. just wanted you to know that
I always enjoy reading what you post.. just wanted you to know that
I really think you've hit on something here. I have a fear of this happening to me. I don't want to miss a blessing because I'm looking for something a bit different, or something that doesn't exist at all. What exactly is "settling"...? Isn't that just compromising, relaxing a bit, being more open-minded? I'm not talking about compromise involving spiritual matters, but rather the more superficial things like looks, age, careers, money, cultural differences, experience or inexperience in one area or another... So many things we have decided either must be, or won't do at all. I dunno. I'm speaking to myself here.
K
It might be because the government "punishes" an elderly couple for getting married because they receive a lot less in benefits than they would as two seperate people. They then are unable to afford an healthy living. Many elderly couples will choose to purchase homes side by side just to maintain independence while having the benefit of companionship. Not saying if it is right or wrong, just pointing out the economic realities.
First of all, I enjoy your postings very much because they speak who you are as a Christian woman.
Now, there's this scene in one of my favorite movies, Meet Joe Black, toward the very end where both Joe Black (Brad Pitt) and Bill Parrish (Anthony Hopkins) are about to cross a bridge, which symbolizes crossing over to other side of the world - leaving this world for good. Right before they cross, Anthony Hopkins, a very successful business man who understands that this is his last day, pauses and looks at Brad Pitt, a personification of Death, and asks, "Should I be afraid?" And Brad Pitt, who has lead countless people to the other side as Death, looks at him and says, "Not a man like you." And then they both cross the bridge. I just want to tell you the same thing to you: "Should I find that downright depressing because it gives us a VERY lmited shlef life and should I feel as if my expiration date is about to pass by?"
"Not a woman like you."
Zechariah and Elizabeth, John the Baptist's parents, were both righteous in the sight of God, yet they were childless because Elizabeth was unable to conceive. It is possible that Elizabeth had lived her life in shame and also had given up her hope on having a child because both were well advanced in years. But it was God's timing for Elizabeth to have John in her late year. It was ultimately God's timing that Elizabeth, a blameless and righteous woman to have a child in her old age despite of pain and suffering she had to endure in a culture where childless woman was considered to be cursed by God.
I know it is hard, especially for women out there, when you are approaching your 40's as I know how you feel in a limited way as a man who's also approaching his 40's. But so what? We are in good hand - none other than God's hand who loves us so dearly. So be strong and take courage my sister.
Now, there's this scene in one of my favorite movies, Meet Joe Black, toward the very end where both Joe Black (Brad Pitt) and Bill Parrish (Anthony Hopkins) are about to cross a bridge, which symbolizes crossing over to other side of the world - leaving this world for good. Right before they cross, Anthony Hopkins, a very successful business man who understands that this is his last day, pauses and looks at Brad Pitt, a personification of Death, and asks, "Should I be afraid?" And Brad Pitt, who has lead countless people to the other side as Death, looks at him and says, "Not a man like you." And then they both cross the bridge. I just want to tell you the same thing to you: "Should I find that downright depressing because it gives us a VERY lmited shlef life and should I feel as if my expiration date is about to pass by?"
"Not a woman like you."
Zechariah and Elizabeth, John the Baptist's parents, were both righteous in the sight of God, yet they were childless because Elizabeth was unable to conceive. It is possible that Elizabeth had lived her life in shame and also had given up her hope on having a child because both were well advanced in years. But it was God's timing for Elizabeth to have John in her late year. It was ultimately God's timing that Elizabeth, a blameless and righteous woman to have a child in her old age despite of pain and suffering she had to endure in a culture where childless woman was considered to be cursed by God.
I know it is hard, especially for women out there, when you are approaching your 40's as I know how you feel in a limited way as a man who's also approaching his 40's. But so what? We are in good hand - none other than God's hand who loves us so dearly. So be strong and take courage my sister.
A
I remember a line from a sermon I once listened to,
"God doesn't give you a type, he gives you a spouse!"
But then I have a beautiful friend in God who says, "Ask, and ye shall receive," and although she giggles and grins over this, she has reminded me many times that her future husband will have blonde hair, blue eyes with a European accent, will constantly dress in suits and will not question his masculinity over hot pink ties to go with said suits.
I don't know where I am going with this because it has nothing to do with 'timing' and 'age'. But all I know is when I think about a husband in the near or distant future, I get a headache. I think we are all so set on making 'marriage' to the 'right one' a pinnacle to our existence (and yes, I know it is not good for man -or woman- to be alone) and now it has some how becomes this big definition to our life on Earth. All the whens, the where's, the who's, the what's... it has to be in a tidy and neat box just to say we have lived our lives 'well' and in 'completeness' according to those standards.
"We should be having children earlier in life", "We should stop having babies at 40 years", "Don't marry after 50 years of age, people are too set in their ways to compromise and to adjust".
Once upon a time, fathers married their daughters to men who they trusted to look after them. Yes, many of them married their daughters off for profitable gain and for other business related reasons, but if a sinner of a father marries his daughter to a man who will love and cherish her, how much better will be the spouse our Heavenly Father blesses us to marry?
I am probably ministering to myself right here. But all I know is I am so done with the pressures and standards of the world. I think God has such joy when he exposes His divine and reality defying nature to us, I believe He has such a kick when His will and His love is made manifest in our impossible situations. You may look at this situation as impossible or void of hope, but I believe God's there, in the background, orchestrating the right time with the right person in the right season.
"God doesn't give you a type, he gives you a spouse!"
But then I have a beautiful friend in God who says, "Ask, and ye shall receive," and although she giggles and grins over this, she has reminded me many times that her future husband will have blonde hair, blue eyes with a European accent, will constantly dress in suits and will not question his masculinity over hot pink ties to go with said suits.
I don't know where I am going with this because it has nothing to do with 'timing' and 'age'. But all I know is when I think about a husband in the near or distant future, I get a headache. I think we are all so set on making 'marriage' to the 'right one' a pinnacle to our existence (and yes, I know it is not good for man -or woman- to be alone) and now it has some how becomes this big definition to our life on Earth. All the whens, the where's, the who's, the what's... it has to be in a tidy and neat box just to say we have lived our lives 'well' and in 'completeness' according to those standards.
"We should be having children earlier in life", "We should stop having babies at 40 years", "Don't marry after 50 years of age, people are too set in their ways to compromise and to adjust".
Once upon a time, fathers married their daughters to men who they trusted to look after them. Yes, many of them married their daughters off for profitable gain and for other business related reasons, but if a sinner of a father marries his daughter to a man who will love and cherish her, how much better will be the spouse our Heavenly Father blesses us to marry?
I am probably ministering to myself right here. But all I know is I am so done with the pressures and standards of the world. I think God has such joy when he exposes His divine and reality defying nature to us, I believe He has such a kick when His will and His love is made manifest in our impossible situations. You may look at this situation as impossible or void of hope, but I believe God's there, in the background, orchestrating the right time with the right person in the right season.
I
I will admit now,I haven't read any other posts yet on this thread,save for the initial one. I guess I have a question of my own...and that is how come you seem to have a problem finding christian men in your age range to date? You have been on CC for quite some time now,and (insert Ugly's theme song lol) while this is not a "dating site" there are in fact seemingly a bunch of single men right around your age that seem to want to date someone in that age range as well. I can't recall ever seeing some man in his late 30's to early 40's posting that he wanted a woman who was in her early 20's or late 60's.
Personally,I have only dated women who were older. I never set out to do so,it just happened. The biggest gap in age was 10 yrs (her senior). I know,I would never date or even remotely pursue a woman who was under 35. A woman who was 30 yrs old...well,maybe..but she'd have to be pretty amazing. (or really blind to want an old man like me) laffin'.
So...what time should I pick you up for dinner & dancing? lol
Personally,I have only dated women who were older. I never set out to do so,it just happened. The biggest gap in age was 10 yrs (her senior). I know,I would never date or even remotely pursue a woman who was under 35. A woman who was 30 yrs old...well,maybe..but she'd have to be pretty amazing. (or really blind to want an old man like me) laffin'.
So...what time should I pick you up for dinner & dancing? lol
I want to thank everyone for their kind and insightful comments . While I was hoping to see lots of posts from older men saying, "This is an outrage!! I'll have you know, I'm looking for someone my own age!" and older women who could tell me, "Seoul, you are totally off base!! I get asked out all the time, and I'm 62!" , we can all see, that ain't going to happen. I guess a person can dream.
Hi ITore!! It IS very refreshing to read that some guys like older women... but as I had written before... it seems that as the ones who liked older women get older, the gears change and then they are looking towards the much-younger crowd (I cited Tom Cruise as an imperfect, but obvious, example.) Men might not explicitly post here that they want someone so much younger, but I guarantee if you're a woman on a dating site, even a Christian one, you discover this very quickly. I wish I could post my last 10 listings of "People Who Have Viewed Your Profile" from the particular site I'm on. The ages are something like this: 53, 57, 65, 68, 74, and yes, 89. Now, on the flip side, and this may seem hypocritical, I also get the other extreme--guys in their early 20's sometimes try to talk to me, but we're just at very different stages in life.
Thanks for all the sentiments as to, "How could you possibly still be single," but aren't we all in the same boat? So, I'm probably still single for the same reasons every other single person here is single!
One of the main reasons I'm single is because I'm at a point in life in which I do not have the desire to be a parent. Yes, I know God can give a child at any age but I no longer have the will or passion. I did when I was younger and even tried a ready-made-family situation, but have found that I make a much better aunt than than parent. The younger (and sometimes even older) guys, understandably, want families, and that's something I could not accommodate. In my time of singleness, I've learned a lot about what does and doesn't work for me. I have nothing but the utmost respect for single parents, but I also respect them enough to know I don't have what it takes to be among their ranks. It's important to be honest about who you know you are.
I've tried all kinds of things to "change" this as well, like a cat that is trying to be a dog. I volunteered for several kinds of kid's ministries at my church, working with several different ages, and raised two young children as my own in another temporary assistance situation. I loved, loved, loved the kids.
But, each time, I was thinking... I was happier... and felt more like myself... in the prison visiting rooms than I am here.
Not everyone is meant to be a parent, and we are all called to different things. Finding anyone in my age range who has a similar place in life and complementary ministry interests that I could be a good helpmate for has been, to this point, impossible.
. While I was hoping to see lots of posts from older men saying, "This is an outrage!! I'll have you know, I'm looking for someone my own age!" and older women who could tell me, "Seoul, you are totally off base!! I get asked out all the time, and I'm 62!" , we can all see, that ain't going to happen. I guess a person can dream.Hi ITore!! It IS very refreshing to read that some guys like older women... but as I had written before... it seems that as the ones who liked older women get older, the gears change and then they are looking towards the much-younger crowd (I cited Tom Cruise as an imperfect, but obvious, example.) Men might not explicitly post here that they want someone so much younger, but I guarantee if you're a woman on a dating site, even a Christian one, you discover this very quickly. I wish I could post my last 10 listings of "People Who Have Viewed Your Profile" from the particular site I'm on. The ages are something like this: 53, 57, 65, 68, 74, and yes, 89. Now, on the flip side, and this may seem hypocritical, I also get the other extreme--guys in their early 20's sometimes try to talk to me, but we're just at very different stages in life.
Thanks for all the sentiments as to, "How could you possibly still be single," but aren't we all in the same boat?
So, I'm probably still single for the same reasons every other single person here is single! One of the main reasons I'm single is because I'm at a point in life in which I do not have the desire to be a parent. Yes, I know God can give a child at any age but I no longer have the will or passion. I did when I was younger and even tried a ready-made-family situation, but have found that I make a much better aunt than than parent. The younger (and sometimes even older) guys, understandably, want families, and that's something I could not accommodate. In my time of singleness, I've learned a lot about what does and doesn't work for me. I have nothing but the utmost respect for single parents, but I also respect them enough to know I don't have what it takes to be among their ranks. It's important to be honest about who you know you are.
I've tried all kinds of things to "change" this as well, like a cat that is trying to be a dog. I volunteered for several kinds of kid's ministries at my church, working with several different ages, and raised two young children as my own in another temporary assistance situation. I loved, loved, loved the kids.
But, each time, I was thinking... I was happier... and felt more like myself... in the prison visiting rooms than I am here.
Not everyone is meant to be a parent, and we are all called to different things. Finding anyone in my age range who has a similar place in life and complementary ministry interests that I could be a good helpmate for has been, to this point, impossible.
I
((hugsssssssssssssss my dear friend)...but listen...so you didn't answer the question...what time should I pick you up?
That's so crazy the stuff you've gone through on the dating sites. (old men are strange...and christian old men are even stranger I fear) lol *waits for the barrage of grumpy old men emails* .....now waits for the 1st pic to post a pic from the film.
I know someone close to me who is getting married soon & they are 65!!! I guess you can't put an age or time limit on love.
That's so crazy the stuff you've gone through on the dating sites. (old men are strange...and christian old men are even stranger I fear) lol *waits for the barrage of grumpy old men emails* .....now waits for the 1st pic to post a pic from the film.
I know someone close to me who is getting married soon & they are 65!!! I guess you can't put an age or time limit on love.
T
I honestly don't know. I think it's creepy when significantly older men (or even women) prey on young women and men. I've never been in a relationship but being in one with a 24 year old wouldn't exactly be out of the question (I am 30). But I don't know. I don't seem to have much luck with women, they always see me as a great friend (I'm not even a push-over). I don't know what I could say to encourage you, Seoul. Not all men are shallow and after the young and the restless. If ever I do get in a relationship I'd be perfectly fine dating/courting/whatever-you-call-it someone my age. I'm sure there are men out there for you.
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I think you make a good point. If you want someone you have to be that someone in order to attract them. Women, if you don't have a trim belly then don't expect a man with six pack abs. If you're not athletic, then don't expect a woman who is. If you have kids don't expect someone without. If you don't have an interesting personality that attracts everyone, then don't expect the life of the party.
And if you don't want to settle, then change yourself into the person you would be proud to have.
And if you don't want to settle, then change yourself into the person you would be proud to have.
X
Seeing the title of this post reminded me of this article:
Oldest Couple To Ever Get Married Ties The Knot (VIDEO)
Oldest Couple To Ever Get Married Ties The Knot (VIDEO)
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