being single and pornagraphy

[wanderer6059]

hey i am going throw the same thing and i tell you it gets better just trust in the lord because he wont change you over night it takes time you'll see just stay focused on him and you'll see the light you'll start cutting back on how many times you masturbate a day and start seeing things in a different light but don't try and make some complicated plan just trust in the lord and turn from the sin and if you do fall to temptation don't feel guilty or bad that just how the devil keeps you trapped in that sin but know no matter what Jesus is always loves you and is always there to pick you back up your on a new chapter in your life and the way to over come this is a journey not a cure your gonna have a lot of cuts and bruises but you will get through it you have his grace and as you walk further on this journey everything will start getting better and truth is god gives us the impossible he gives us more than we can handle because he wants us to com to him so turn to the love of the lord i'm exited for you your going to see and do great things and look up this verse its the one i've been turning to isaiah 40:31

 

[wanderer6059]

o and stay active anything you can do to to get away from it i went for a walk one day when i was tempted and didn't go home till it passed and i was walking for hours plus exercise will make you feel better about yourself and about girls just start saying hi and smiling at every person you meet during your day ask them how there day is just conversate with people in general and get used to talking to any one and it will get easier to talk to girls first step is always yours you just gotta take it

 

[mykim]

o and stay active anything you can do to to get away from it i went for a walk one day when i was tempted and didn't go home till it passed and i was walking for hours plus exercise will make you feel better about yourself and about girls just start saying hi and smiling at every person you meet during your day ask them how there day is just conversate with people in general and get used to talking to any one and it will get easier to talk to girls first step is always yours you just gotta take it

The problem is that I have become more antisocial over the years. Even at church, i tend to shy away from greeting people because I just don't want to shake their hands. Suffering from cold clammy hands just makes me feel uncomfortable around people.

At one point, i even prayed to God to give me normal hands just so i can actually try to mingle with people.

 

[GreenNnice]

This might seem a little crazy, since you don't want to shake people's hands, become a hugger !

How hard is it for you to do? Sounds like it might be difficult and I don't want to give you bad advice. The Lord leads.

But, HUG them, with a big smile on your face. You would be SURPRISED how a smile--a constant smile--comes across to people !!!

Hey, in todays' age, handshakes are blas`e , I think, I'm not a Generation X or Generation zero or whatever today's gen is, but, yeah, handshakes ? uh-uh. no, I don't think so, it's more about elbow bumps and fist bumps and maybe even head butts. OK ! OK already, I was kidding on the last one


But, c'mon, man, you are a child of the King. King Jesus ! Have faith. Forget about your hands !! no one's going to notice either if you wipe them on your shirt prior to shaking someone's hand. or do they perspire so quickly that you couldn't just wipe them the few seconds before you go meet someone ??

Anyway, just keep with Him, that's GREAT you have Christ in your life. That's the greatest thing of all going on right now in your life All that other stuff you said is second, secondary, don't matter even, PALES in comparison to your lie being in Christ. Read your bible all the time, devotions, do them daily, nightly.

It's not complicated, being a Christian, as He leads you, just follow Him, brother of His, MyKim

 

[mykim]

This might seem a little crazy, since you don't want to shake people's hands, become a hugger !

How hard is it for you to do? Sounds like it might be difficult and I don't want to give you bad advice. The Lord leads.

But, HUG them, with a big smile on your face. You would be SURPRISED how a smile--a constant smile--comes across to people !!!

Hey, in todays' age, handshakes are blas`e , I think, I'm not a Generation X or Generation zero or whatever today's gen is, but, yeah, handshakes ? uh-uh. no, I don't think so, it's more about elbow bumps and fist bumps and maybe even head butts. OK ! OK already, I was kidding on the last one


But, c'mon, man, you are a child of the King. King Jesus ! Have faith. Forget about your hands !! no one's going to notice either if you wipe them on your shirt prior to shaking someone's hand. or do they perspire so quickly that you couldn't just wipe them the few seconds before you go meet someone ??

Anyway, just keep with Him, that's GREAT you have Christ in your life. That's the greatest thing of all going on right now in your life All that other stuff you said is second, secondary, don't matter even, PALES in comparison to your lie being in Christ. Read your bible all the time, devotions, do them daily, nightly.

It's not complicated, being a Christian, as He leads you, just follow Him, brother of His, MyKim

Yeah hugs would be better but i am too timid to do something like that. As for my hands, wiping is useless because the sweating is relentless. My hands are also usually cold too. So cold and sweaty is not a nice combo.

I keep telling myself I am a christian now, but I keep on stumbling and relapsing. I am trying to make an effort to strengthen my faith but i have too much negativity in me. I hope God will reach me through the church sermons and support groups

 

[christian74]

I keep telling myself I am a christian now, but I keep on stumbling and relapsing. I am trying to make an effort to strengthen my faith but i have too much negativity in me. I hope God will reach me through the church sermons and support groups

mykim, you are on the right track.

What used to be normal as a single man, i.e., watching porn, is now something you are trying to stop doing it by putting an effort into it. The very fact that you are on this forum, asking for help and advice by revealing your weakness and shortcomings which is not an easy thing to do, is an evidence that you are on the right track and the Holy Spirit is working in you now.

Think of it as this way. You are like a jar filled with dirty water, i.e., negativity and sin. Instead of trying to somehow get rid of that dirty water on your own, try to keep pouring in clean water, which is the Word of God. It may seem like nothing is changing at first but that ink-black dirty water will eventually become less darker as you keep pouring God's word into your life. In Genesis 1, the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep (I used to be like that in the beginning - formless, empty, and dark) and God said (God's own word), "Let there be light," and there was light and he separated the light from the darkness. Your formlessness, emptiness, and darkness (all the negativity and hopeless you mentioned) WILL BE separated by the word of God. Trust me (well, don't trust me but trust God ).

Like someone said in the thread don't give up when you stumble and don't trap yourself with guilt but rather ask for forgiveness, get up again and keep moving forward.

Keep at it bro.

 

[rachelsedge]

You are looking the wrong direction, brother. You are focusing so much on your failures, on your flaws, on why and how you are a failure. Of course when you dwell on those things, they will bring you down.

Think of how you want your life to be, and work towards that. "If you change nothing, nothing will change" is what my dad always tells me.

I understand why sweating makes you feel uncomfortable. My face sweats more than the average person, and more than a typical female's should. It also gets tomato red, mostly when I exercise, but sometimes when I'm nervous or embarrassed. Not just a flush of the cheeks, but a deep scarlet red. I hate it. I avoid summer activities with friends sometimes because of it. Which is sad, I need to get over it so I stop missing out on stuff. It's one reason why I hate the heat and love fall and winter. I am so self-conscious about it, I feel like everyone can see it and there's nothing I can do about it, and everyone else's faces look normal so why is mine freaking out? I'm trying to embrace it, to not care when it happens, because really, sweat is so small. Like, if a guy or female friend doesn't want to hang out with me because of something as menial as sweat...like, really? How shallow would that come off? Same goes for other flaws people have. It's not what defines you.

 

[Oncefallen]

I have not bothered to apply to minimum wage jobs because I could not even support myself with the low wages. It is also extremely demeaning to work next to high school kids.

I hate to be the one to point it out, but a minimum wage job still pays better than no job. Quite honestly, if I were in your shoes (and I have been there) I would be applying for every job that I was physically capable of doing. If it means working 2 full time minimum wage jobs to make ends meet then so be it. Sure, working around a bunch of teenagers can be annoying at times but the interesting thing is that the person with a few more years of life experience under their belt is more likely the one to end up being the boss.

 

[Red_Tory]

I am trolling because I detest minimum wage jobs? ok. Minimum wage jobs are a waste of time. Most don't even give full time positions and the work is so unfullfilling that I end up getting fired anyway. I have a personal training certification so I would rather work a job like that, but i can't get work in that field.

Yes - yes, you are.

Minimum wage jobs are a waste of time? I'd be willing to bet that the vast majority of people (if not all) here have worked - or maybe even are working - for minimum wage. So essentially what you've just said to everyone on this forum who works in such a position (myself included) that they are wasting their time and would be just as well off unemployed in the manner you are describing here.

What makes your time so valuable that it is better spent doing this rather than working, even if only for around $8 an hour?

 

[rachelsedge]

I once worked part time, over the course of one summer, at a vet clinic. I got paid minimum wage. I was a kennel worker and looked after the dogs and cats who boarded there. I cleaned up dog and cat poop, vomit, urine, fur, washed disgusting bedding, dealt with less than pleasant dogs and cats (though I had a magic touch with dogs and could usually get even the most scared or meanest to at least tolerate me), I cleaned the entire clinic building, every night that I worked.

I also worked there over Thanksgiving break and Christmas break when I came home for my college breaks. Those were busy times, and there would be 30+ dogs all barking at the same time in an echoey kennel because "Oh!! Rachel is here! We get to go outside! YES YES YES!!" Sometimes I would get off from a shift and my ears would be ringing. Granted, I love animals and I love taking care of them, but that didn't make scooping poop and walking in and having just noise explode everywhere any more enjoyable.

But, I worked hard. I cleaned thoroughly. I worked by myself at night, after everyone else went home, and in the mornings when I worked I was still rather independent in my job, but I was willing to help whenever and wherever and with whatever. The staff were great, all very nice to me and the pets, but sometimes I felt like the lowly kennel worker. All I did was clean up messes and clean. I got sweaty and messy and dirty and slobbery and hairy. I got home sore and worn out, from cleaning all day and bending and reaching.

But you know what? The head vet saw, and noticed. When I left (due to college and getting another job where I actually went to college instead of back home), she was so sad. She joked that I should drop out of college and keep working there. She told me if I ever needed a reference, to put her down because she just raved about me.

Now, all of this, though it may sound like I am, is not meant to brag on myself. Rather, it's a testimony that doing even the lowest jobs, and doing them well, and with your heart, shows. It shows to customers, and it shows to coworkers. It can give you more connections to jobs that DO interest you.

 

[Pipp]

I once worked part time, over the course of one summer, at a vet clinic. I got paid minimum wage. I was a kennel worker and looked after the dogs and cats who boarded there. I cleaned up dog and cat poop, vomit, urine, fur, washed disgusting bedding, dealt with less than pleasant dogs and cats (though I had a magic touch with dogs and could usually get even the most scared or meanest to at least tolerate me), I cleaned the entire clinic building, every night that I worked.

I also worked there over Thanksgiving break and Christmas break when I came home for my college breaks. Those were busy times, and there would be 30+ dogs all barking at the same time in an echoey kennel because "Oh!! Rachel is here! We get to go outside! YES YES YES!!" Sometimes I would get off from a shift and my ears would be ringing. Granted, I love animals and I love taking care of them, but that didn't make scooping poop and walking in and having just noise explode everywhere any more enjoyable.

But, I worked hard. I cleaned thoroughly. I worked by myself at night, after everyone else went home, and in the mornings when I worked I was still rather independent in my job, but I was willing to help whenever and wherever and with whatever. The staff were great, all very nice to me and the pets, but sometimes I felt like the lowly kennel worker. All I did was clean up messes and clean. I got sweaty and messy and dirty and slobbery and hairy. I got home sore and worn out, from cleaning all day and bending and reaching.

But you know what? The head vet saw, and noticed. When I left (due to college and getting another job where I actually went to college instead of back home), she was so sad. She joked that I should drop out of college and keep working there. She told me if I ever needed a reference, to put her down because she just raved about me.

Now, all of this, though it may sound like I am, is not meant to brag on myself. Rather, it's a testimony that doing even the lowest jobs, and doing them well, and with your heart, shows. It shows to customers, and it shows to coworkers. It can give you more connections to jobs that DO interest you.

Great point

 

[mykim]

Yes - yes, you are.

Minimum wage jobs are a waste of time? I'd be willing to bet that the vast majority of people (if not all) here have worked - or maybe even are working - for minimum wage. So essentially what you've just said to everyone on this forum who works in such a position (myself included) that they are wasting their time and would be just as well off unemployed in the manner you are describing here.

What makes your time so valuable that it is better spent doing this rather than working, even if only for around $8 an hour?

I just have a bad experience with job hunting. I once took a bus to the mall and applied to a bunch of minimum wage jobs and got no calls. Lol i even took a bus into the city to apply to a lousy dunkin donuts job and did not end up getting that one either. I could not even get a job as a busser or waiter. Also, most minimum wage jobs require standing and these days, my lower back bothers me too much.

 

[kenecia12]

Sometimes on the brink of giving up that's when he comes through for you...but oh ye of little faith..faith is the substance of things hope for the evidence of thing not seen..maybe he is doing something in your life but you are so blinded that you can't even see it...stop telling your self you're ugly, you're worthless and start telling your self you're fearfully and wonderfully made, as far as I know God never created ugly everyone is beautiful and unique in there own little way..they or you mite think you're ugly but u can have a good personality and that makes you beautiful,some people a beautiful but their personalities makes them ugly... And you'll eventually find someone that love you...keep praying and pornography will never be your down fall again

 

[rachelsedge]

mykim, I have to ask (though I know the answer), are you reading the responses seriously? Really taking them into consideration? Did you come here for help or to be validated in your self-wallowing? It seems that for every helpful response, you have a "But I am this way, so that won't work" attitude. There's an excuse for everything, and until that stops, you will be stuck.

Let me encourage you to re-read all of the responses, but leave any preconceived notions about yourself behind. All the responses here aren't just us CC members giving lip service to make you feel gushy inside. We're here, as your brothers and sisters in Christ, to help encourage you and show you that we mean what we say. Otherwise, as Jullianna said, there is no amount or quality of advice that will change your mind, and you will find that there will be less and less responses to this thread.

 

[mykim]

mykim, I have to ask (though I know the answer), are you reading the responses seriously? Really taking them into consideration? Did you come here for help or to be validated in your self-wallowing? It seems that for every helpful response, you have a "But I am this way, so that won't work" attitude. There's an excuse for everything, and until that stops, you will be stuck.

Let me encourage you to re-read all of the responses, but leave any preconceived notions about yourself behind. All the responses here aren't just us CC members giving lip service to make you feel gushy inside. We're here, as your brothers and sisters in Christ, to help encourage you and show you that we mean what we say. Otherwise, as Jullianna said, there is no amount or quality of advice that will change your mind, and you will find that there will be less and less responses to this thread.

I do read all of the responses. I just don't agree with the minimum wage work. I made more money when I selling products online on ebay and amazon. Can't do that anymore because I am banned from both websites.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Oh oh oh... the Lord is teaching me many things, and one of them is the control of my tongue when I want to say things.

 

[Misty77]

Mykim, those minimum wage jobs build your resume and teach you skills for your future jobs. I can't begin to tell you how much I have used what I learned as a Starbucks barista in every other job I have had. I was making barely over minimum wage 3 years ago. I doubled that the next year, and have been steadily increasing ever since. You need to prove that you are hireable to potential employers.

 

[ServantStrike]

Yeah hugs would be better but i am too timid to do something like that. As for my hands, wiping is useless because the sweating is relentless. My hands are also usually cold too. So cold and sweaty is not a nice combo.

I keep telling myself I am a christian now, but I keep on stumbling and relapsing. I am trying to make an effort to strengthen my faith but i have too much negativity in me. I hope God will reach me through the church sermons and support groups

I'll shake your shaking sweaty hands any day of the week. You're a Christian and you're trying to grow closer to Christ.

The pornography, well, I can just say I've been there... recently. PM me if you can't find anyone as an accountability partner.

 

[mykim]

Mykim, those minimum wage jobs build your resume and teach you skills for your future jobs. I can't begin to tell you how much I have used what I learned as a Starbucks barista in every other job I have had. I was making barely over minimum wage 3 years ago. I doubled that the next year, and have been steadily increasing ever since. You need to prove that you are hireable to potential employers.

funny thing is that i did apply for a starbucks job a couple of years ago and got turned down. how sad is that?

 

[rachelsedge]

It's disappointing when you don't get a job, I know that feeling. Before I got my job at the bank a year ago, I turned in literally 25+ applications (I counted). The bank was the last one I turned it into, and that's the one I got! I had practically given up hope by that time.