Traditional Family: Husband works and Wife is a stay at home mom.

[Calmador]

I'd definitely like this structure for a family.

I was personally raised by a stay at home mom and I think its a beautiful and invaluable thing for kids. Mom's love is not the same as Dad's love. And I want that for my kids.

I think its sad that modern culture has taken moms out of the homes as much as it did. So.. everyone, what are your thoughts? And for women in particular, do you want to be a stay at home mom? If so, how come? If not, how come?

 

[mystdancer50]

Hi,

I think feminism has definitely tainted our view on SAHM. I think about it often. Then I consider other things. My mom is divorced. She couldn't have raised me as she did if she didn't work, being a single mom. And then I look at my life. I am not married and I work in order to live. So, feminism did, in fact, produce some good things and sometimes being a stay at home mom just isn't possible.

When it is, though, that is awesome. I think that God blesses the working mom and the SAHM, either way. He looks upon the heart and He knows if a woman is working for money only, or for enjoyment or because she has to. There is nothing wrong with a woman working outside the home and supplementing her husband's income. The issue arises when money is the be all and end all of their life, with no time for God, each other or their kids.

It is a fine line and truly only God can help us keep that balance.

 

[Jullianna]

I know some women enjoy this, but I think I would have to at least work part-time. There are so many opportunities to work out of the home now.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I was a stay-at-home mom for 16 years, and even now I work from home so that I am able to arrange my schedule to be with my teens more and provide stability. I definitely see the importance of having a parent at home especially when children are young. It's difficult these days, not only with women wanting careers, but with men wanting their wives to work for financial reasons. Our society has evolved in such a way that it's nearly impossible to support a family on one modest income (though it can be done!).

I will say that sometime women feel safer having a college degree in case something happens and they need to work. When my husband left me I had been a homemaker and homeschooler for many years and had no work experience in the business world. Thankfully God has provided well for me regardless, but it could have gone badly had I not been building a home-based business and working in ministry at the time.

I think women who stay home with their kids are wonderful (and hard working!) and men who support them are wonderful too.

 

[Misty77]

That is actually a relatively new concept. In agrarian societies, every family member shared the workload. Every culture has had servants, wet nurses, maids, and slaves of some sort, many of whom had own families in addition to serving their masters. You can also find many examples of women in the Bible being industrious of some pursuit or another. After the industrial revolution children and women as well as the men worked in factories or providing services for the wealthier. Depending on the number of really small children, some women stayed at home for a period of time. Only the upper strata of society could afford for the women not to work, although some of them still did. Don't forget that throughout history many women who may have been present at home were running the household while nannies tended the children.

The 1950's construct of the men going to the office while the women stayed at home and dusted and raised children is an idealized time in history—one that I am rather partial to. It's just not the only picture of what a Biblical family looks like. I will say that I think the first 4 or 5 years of a child's life should be spent with a parent or close relative, if at all possible.

 

[JesusChica1991]

I grew up in the traditional family for at least 10 years. My mother worked until I was 7 or so and decided to stay home when she had my younger two siblings. Me, however, I don't plan on my family being traditional. I will be working because I want to work. The traditional family hasn't technically fallen apart; however, it isn't working as much as it used to because of how the economy has changed our core family. Basically, some families now have to have both spouses working in order just to make ends meet. I'm going to be in that kind of family eventually.

 

[Calmador]

Hi,

I think feminism has definitely tainted our view on SAHM. I think about it often. Then I consider other things. My mom is divorced. She couldn't have raised me as she did if she didn't work, being a single mom. And then I look at my life. I am not married and I work in order to live. So, feminism did, in fact, produce some good things and sometimes being a stay at home mom just isn't possible.

When it is, though, that is awesome. I think that God blesses the working mom and the SAHM, either way. He looks upon the heart and He knows if a woman is working for money only, or for enjoyment or because she has to. There is nothing wrong with a woman working outside the home and supplementing her husband's income. The issue arises when money is the be all and end all of their life, with no time for God, each other or their kids.

It is a fine line and truly only God can help us keep that balance.

The stay at home mom.... is probably easily the most noble thing a woman can do. I can't help but be somewhat repulsed of women who don't want to do this.

Feminism is the dirt at the bottom of my foot. I hate it. That's putting it in a nice way. Feminism made women in general more promiscuous, more repulsed at the idea of husbands being head of the household, less feminin, less polite, and less Christian since of course Christianity does support traditional marriage in the sense that husbands should be head of the household. Good things only come from God. Women being in the workplace... is something we could've gained scripturally... no feminism needed.

 

[Elizabeth619]

I'm guessing single moms should stay away from this thread. I'm guessing they'll be bashed.

 

[AsifinPassing]

I have not voted, as no option really fit me. I'm a man who believes that roles should be interpretated based on the relationship. For Example:

If I am weak organizationally (scheduling or budgeting, let's say) and my wife is strong there, she should handle said management of important scheduling and finances (or visa versa).

Now, would I like my children to be raised by my wife and I primarily, yes. Am I cool with day care and whatnot, well...not really if other options are available. Do I care if she works? Not really, no.

Though I understand the 'Man as Head' viewpoint from conservative fundamentalism, I also see the value in veiwing a relationship as a 'team effort' or 'partnership'. Sometimes, let someone who's good at something do that thing, and use your strengths were you can. I have a problem with people saying it should be one way when obviously things become worse (given a particular situation) because of it.

Anyway...long story short, I'm quite flexible.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I'm guessing single moms should stay away from this thread. I'm guessing they'll be bashed.

The poll said "Do you WANT" and also "someday"... so I think in both cases single mothers can be included. Obviously absolute necessity must be considered.

 

[Blain]

Hmmm well I like how a stay at home mom does her job, but you see me if I ever had a family I would most likely be a stay at home dad.

 

[Misty77]

The stay at home mom.... is probably easily the most noble thing a woman can do. I can't help but be somewhat repulsed of women who don't want to do this.

Feminism is the dirt at the bottom of my foot. I hate it. That's putting it in a nice way. Feminism made women in general more promiscuous, more repulsed at the idea of husbands being head of the household, less feminin, less polite, and less Christian since of course Christianity does support traditional marriage in the sense that husbands should be head of the household. Good things only come from God. Women being in the workplace... is something we could've gained scripturally... no feminism needed.

The church COULD have done it. Had time to. Didn't.

Also, your rant against feminism is fallacious. Correlation doesn't imply causation. =)

 

[JesusChica1991]

The stay at home mom.... is probably easily the most noble thing a woman can do. I can't help but be somewhat repulsed of women who don't want to do this.

Feminism is the dirt at the bottom of my foot. I hate it. That's putting it in a nice way. Feminism made women in general more promiscuous, more repulsed at the idea of husbands being head of the household, less feminin, less polite, and less Christian since of course Christianity does support traditional marriage in the sense that husbands should be head of the household. Good things only come from God. Women being in the workplace... is something we could've gained scripturally... no feminism needed.

Try living in that culture back then when most of the time, women weren't able to speak their minds without their husband's knowledge. Bigotry from men contributed to the movement for feminism. We have just as much a right to work as anyone else. Also, what about households where the wife is the only one working because the husband is injured? Should the man have more say-so than the woman based on what she alone brings into the house? I don't think so..

 

[Blain]

God forbid I should EVER have kids because if they are anything like me I need to change my name and move to mexico

 

[JesusChica1991]

God forbid I should EVER have kids because if they are anything like me I need to change my name and move to mexico

Agreed. I think CC has only enough patience to handle ONE of you. Another one would be...an apocalypse waiting to occur.

 

[Blain]

Agreed. I think CC has only enough patience to handle ONE of you. Another one would be...an apocalypse waiting to occur.

ooooo we got a feisty one here;] your so just jealous of my awesomeness and my cuteness.

 

[Elizabeth619]

The poll said "Do you WANT" and also "someday"... so I think in both cases single mothers can be included. Obviously absolute necessity must be considered.

I am just reading a few more posts and I see where this may go downhill quick. Thats all.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Basically, some families now have to have both spouses working in order just to make ends meet. I'm going to be in that kind of family eventually.

Just out of curiosity, why do you say that you'll be in that kind of family eventually? Your husband might make plenty of money. Or you might both be super frugal, or you could find a perfect way to work from home while your babies are little.

 

[JesusChica1991]

ooooo we got a feisty one here;] your so just jealous of my awesomeness and my cuteness.

Yes, I admit it. That is comPLETEly the reason.

 

[Blain]

I am just reading a few more posts and I see where this may go downhill quick. Thats all.

Really? I think it's still fine, it is up to all of us if this thing goes down or not.