Sister in Christ,
Christ will and has forgiven you. Regret what you have done, but now look to the adulterous woman and the prostitute who washed Christ's feet with her tears. Christ did not look upon them with disgust, but love. Christ looks upon you and smiles for He sees the daughter He adores. You are still among us, and we will all stand before the Lord, glorified and perfected.
Exactly this.
Isaiah 64:6
All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.
The word for filthy here is
iddah which literally means
menstruation cloth. Your best days, your abstaining from sin, your intimate time with God where you sit down with your Christian music and you've been good to everyone all week — to God it's like a dirty tampon. I'm not being filthy, it's in your Bible. Look it up and study it if you don't believe me. That's how disgusting all your righteous acts are to God apart from Christ.
Romans 5:1
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
You did not heave peace with God before you had this intimate sexual act because you were abstaining from sexual intimacy. That was not your core value. The only reason that you have been justified is by Christ and Christ alone. Your faith is the only thing that makes you righteous before God and your actions are like filthy, filthy rags.
Romans 5:19
For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.
It was not your obedience to God's laws that made you righteous. It was never all the good things you did, it was never all the times that you 'rebuked those horrid thoughts' from your mind. There is only one thing that has made you righteous which is the obedience of Christ. To think that you can top the righteousness that has been imputed as a gift to you by abstaining from sexual sin is a thought that should be as far away from your mind as possible.
Romans 6:15
What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means! Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?
This is not a verse about behavioral modification. This is not saying "because you're a slave to righteousness, you now have to do righteous acts and stop sinning because Christ has gotten you off the hook."
This is either a real, living, breathing, supernatural gospel or a new age philosophy of religious values.
This is what I believe it's saying, in 1 John...
1 John 3:9
No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God.
You are the temple of the Holy Spirit. You're born of God's seed. Your righteous acts will never make you righteous, and it is by faith alone that you've been saved. But you have the Living God inside of you. 1 John 4:17 says that in this world you're basically another incarnation of Christ. What do you believe, that you're a sinner? Or that in this world you're exactly like Jesus?
This doesn't mean stop sinning. This means 0% try to stop sinning because you're born of God. This means realize who you are, find your identity, start to manifest that and
see if you're still able to sin.
What is sin defined as? Transgression of a law. The only two laws we have are to believe and to love our neighbor. The more you get to know God, the more you'll see this. The more you'll look at yourself as opposed to 2 months ago and say... Wow, I really do have Jesus inside of me. The best part is that it's only uphill from here.
You are forever justified, righteous, and at peace with God through Jesus Christ and God was never counting anything you did or did not do against you. (2 Corinthians 5:17) You cannot violate that. No-one will ever snatch you out of His hand and He will never be angry at you again.