Does your church have a singles group? why or why not? and who do you think ...

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Chey60

Guest
#1
My church had one long before I came there over 2 years ago..
but apparently they weren't drawing a line with who was single and who wasn't.. like allowing separated people in so they won't "Feel bad".. being left out...

anyway it didn't work out there were some bad things that came of that..

one of the old leaders tried to start it again with a widower (the same one I had a thing for for awhile)
but his heart wasn't in being single ..he wanted to be with that girl on my praise team by then
but didn't let the leader know..
so..it faded away.

I would love to have a singles group but every time we get together it's always women..most of the singles groups are women..
so now we have to go to a large church on saturdays every other week (I haven't gone yet.. hasn't been in my schedule :)
to get into a singles group..

Also who do you think should lead a singles group?

a married couple who's been married for a long time?
a married couple who was single in the Lord for a long time and married semi recently?
two separate singles? both male?
two separate singles both female?
or two separate singles one male, one female?

and what kind of format or activities do you think the group should be involved in?
Sports watching?
going to outings and what kind?

etc..
 
Sep 6, 2013
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#2
My church's singles group would be pretty weird with just me in it... so no, we don't have one. If it were a larger church I think it's a great idea if well-run (more support and friendship, less "hooking up" or shopping). I think a married couple would be great for leadership. How long they've been married isn't as important as their spiritual maturity. (Married, possibly just because they can each work with their own gender but still work together as a unit for mentoring, problem solving or just being on the same page in their planning.)

There's a large church in my sister's city that has a successful singles group. They go on group trips and things like that. (Stuff people want to do, like vacations, but hate doing alone.)
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#3
My church doesn't have one, then again, I'm pretty sure I'm the only person at my church that's not in youth group and single :/ there was a singles group at the church I grew up in, and to be honest I really didn't see much good come of it. None of the singles were interested in each other and it was a small church, so it just kind of fizzled out. I think it would be good for a single male and female lead, so that men and women can separate to talk about issues they may not be comfortable discussing with the opposite sex. Sporting events and holiday activities would be good things to do. Basically a glorified youth group for adults :)
 
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Chey60

Guest
#4
My church's singles group would be pretty weird with just me in it... so no, we don't have one. If it were a larger church I think it's a great idea if well-run (more support and friendship, less "hooking up" or shopping). I think a married couple would be great for leadership. How long they've been married isn't as important as their spiritual maturity. (Married, possibly just because they can each work with their own gender but still work together as a unit for mentoring, problem solving or just being on the same page in their planning.)

There's a large church in my sister's city that has a successful singles group. They go on group trips and things like that. (Stuff people want to do, like vacations, but hate doing alone.)
:) I think the reason some of our singles think if a married couple leads it it should be one who were single with the Lord for awhile so that they understand the things we face..
but I threw in married for awhile because then you know their marriage is very grounded:)
that was all :)

you are the only single?
would you go to another churches singles event if there were some?
I know there is a site called Meetup.com
I bet you could find things to do with singles in your area from there..
I belong to the Houston area christian singles on meetup..
there are probably these meetings in every area :)

anyway you didn't ask for that :) just throwing it out there in case you ever want to know:)!
 
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Chey60

Guest
#5
My church doesn't have one, then again, I'm pretty sure I'm the only person at my church that's not in youth group and single :/ there was a singles group at the church I grew up in, and to be honest I really didn't see much good come of it. None of the singles were interested in each other and it was a small church, so it just kind of fizzled out. I think it would be good for a single male and female lead, so that men and women can separate to talk about issues they may not be comfortable discussing with the opposite sex. Sporting events and holiday activities would be good things to do. Basically a glorified youth group for adults :)
I like that "a youth group for adults"

good stuff!
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#6
Just another added point to...One of the big things for spiritual growth in marriage is having bible studies and praying together. The problem is a lot of people feel uncomfortable with it at first, or really just don't know how it works, so it would be cool if a singles group would consistently do a bible study/discussion together to, and kind of help that start of getting comfortable doing those things with other people. Maybe even get really extreme and force guys and girls to pair off and discuss bible readings one on one with each other. Not in a way to hook-up, but just to get the idea of what it's like and get them comfortable in a setting like that in the event that they get married. Even if they never get married, I'm convinced it's important for guys and gals to build good relationships with each other.
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#7
We don't have one at my church. I'm not sire why, it's probably been discussed. There are some single folks at my church. We used to have a fund raising group and they would do fun things together. But that group is no more.
 
Sep 6, 2013
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#8
you are the only single?
would you go to another churches singles event if there were some?
I know there is a site called Meetup.com
I bet you could find things to do with singles in your area from there..
I belong to the Houston area christian singles on meetup..
there are probably these meetings in every area :)

anyway you didn't ask for that :) just throwing it out there in case you ever want to know:)!
There are a couple of other singles (quite a bit younger than me) who come off and on but aren't really part of the participating church body. I live in a small town that's a bit of a retirement community so there isn't a lot of stuff going on here if you aren't into the local bar scene. I'm content with the level of social interaction I get right now though. :)
 

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2009
24,641
4,300
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#9
This is the only group of singles I want to meet with... :rolleyes:

 

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
Feb 18, 2013
1,294
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#10
My church has a pretty successful one. It started as a singles group but now it's more of a "young adult/singles" group. So.. technically one does not need to be single, but it's understood that the heart of the ministry is geared toward singles. The age demographic is also roughly 18-35, but it's not strictly enforced on the upper end and we even have some folks in their 50's :)

it's led by the youth/young adults pastor and his wife. They've been married since they were 19, but they just have a heart for our group. They present a healthy (and honest) picture of marriage without rubbing it in anyone's faces and making people feel bad for being single.

I also like the atmosphere. There's definitely no "hookup" vibe, but men and women aren't separated like the hormonal teens in the youth group. it's worked pretty well. There have been breakups but they are handled with grace, and we've actually had a good number of couples meet and get married through the group.

We usually have a time of casual fellowship, followed by corporate worship, followed by a time to get into the Word. We sometimes do specific topics, but usually we just go through various books of the bible chapter by chapter, and let the conversations flow naturally from there.

We also have several small groups that stem out from this group, which allows for even deeper fellowship. And we do plenty of fun things together, like game nights, hikes, retreats, and road trips.

I know it's not perfect, but I've been blessed by it.
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#11
My church has a pretty successful one. It started as a singles group but now it's more of a "young adult/singles" group. So.. technically one does not need to be single, but it's understood that the heart of the ministry is geared toward singles. The age demographic is also roughly 18-35, but it's not strictly enforced on the upper end and we even have some folks in their 50's :)

it's led by the youth/young adults pastor and his wife. They've been married since they were 19, but they just have a heart for our group. They present a healthy (and honest) picture of marriage without rubbing it in anyone's faces and making people feel bad for being single.

I also like the atmosphere. There's definitely no "hookup" vibe, but men and women aren't separated like the hormonal teens in the youth group. it's worked pretty well. There have been breakups but they are handled with grace, and we've actually had a good number of couples meet and get married through the group.

We usually have a time of casual fellowship, followed by corporate worship, followed by a time to get into the Word. We sometimes do specific topics, but usually we just go through various books of the bible chapter by chapter, and let the conversations flow naturally from there.

We also have several small groups that stem out from this group, which allows for even deeper fellowship. And we do plenty of fun things together, like game nights, hikes, retreats, and road trips.

I know it's not perfect, but I've been blessed by it.
I want one of those
 

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
Feb 18, 2013
1,294
26
0
#12
O_O

I kid you not, I just got on facebook and two of my friends from my singles group JUST announced their engagement.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#13
Does your church have a singles group?
It does! It's called Brother Shour.

Because Brother Shour is the single person my church, that's why.

Who do you think should lead the singles in your church?
Probably Shour. Last Sunday, Shour lead all the singles to his hometown to visit his parents, and his parents' church. He also leads a group weightlifting session once or twice a week that involves the entire singles ministry (although now that marching season is over, he'll probably lead it three times a week). Sometimes, the singles go hiking in the Franklin mountains, and it's common for them to all gather in Shour's kitchen for cooking. It's also common for all the singles to meet in Shour's living room about 6:10am on weekday mornings for Bible readings. The singles group also drives to work together, too, often in prayer, sometimes in just singing. They spend a LOT of time together. VERY close knit. The leader is really hardcore about it all. The group would like to do something like salsa/tango lessons, but there's nothing on the east side of town, and everyone's pretty busy as it is. But the interest is unanimous.
 
Sep 6, 2013
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#14
It does! It's called Brother Shour.



Because Brother Shour is the single person my church, that's why.



Probably Shour. Last Sunday, Shour lead all the singles to his hometown to visit his parents, and his parents' church. He also leads a group weightlifting session once or twice a week that involves the entire singles ministry (although now that marching season is over, he'll probably lead it three times a week). Sometimes, the singles go hiking in the Franklin mountains, and it's common for them to all gather in Shour's kitchen for cooking. It's also common for all the singles to meet in Shour's living room about 6:10am on weekday mornings for Bible readings. The singles group also drives to work together, too, often in prayer, sometimes in just singing. They spend a LOT of time together. VERY close knit. The leader is really hardcore about it all. The group would like to do something like salsa/tango lessons, but there's nothing on the east side of town, and everyone's pretty busy as it is. But the interest is unanimous.
This was awesome. ^_^
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#15
Those of you who are my Facebook Amigos. Probably saw me post this there but I'll put it here. Cause it fits.

Why Won't Christian Men Date Women Who Go To Their Church? | YourTango

Basically....

its not a numbers game.

Most churches around here have 4 women to every 2 guys. so thats XY XY to XX XX XX XX.

The problem comes in to play with the fact that ALL of the women in this area are friends.

Say I give an example from my sample size that Jennifer, Bethany, Connie and Rachel go to my church. Its just me and Joe that go there too. We are all about the same Age. This is assuming that they are all of good standard.

Joe is dating Rachel.

That leaves me with Jennifer, Connie and Bethany.


So... Connie and I hang out and eventually date for about 2-3 months. We break up.

Jennifer and Bethany by virtue of being friends with Connie are off limits. We know this, they know this etc.

Even if the number of single women at my church was 20, if I date one the rest are off limits.




Now here is a strange thing that I've experienced here in my hometown. If the Alpha female of the Group "Claims" me, whether we are dating or not, the rest are off limits and won't have anything to do with me.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#16
The Singles group at my church is a lot like Brother Shour's, but Sister Didi is the leader and sole member. :)
 
Sep 6, 2013
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#17
Are women really that weird about not letting friends date ex-boyfriends? Maybe it's a good thing that I don't know any other single women. This is kinda sad.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#18
The Singles group at my church is a lot like Brother Shour's, but Sister Didi is the leader and sole member. :)
In charge of the singles ministry AND the worship ministry? I think I need to have a talk with your pastor, missy! You've clearly got too much on your plate! ^_^
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#19
No, and never will I would say.
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#20
I won't date any women at my church for two reasons 1. I'm not interested 2. They're married or 17 and younger. I'm not opposed to dating someone from church, but even if there were eligible women available, they'd have to be pretty special for me to be interested, because yes, I'm that picky, and even more so, I'm that difficult