Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[Jullianna]

Some days the whole world sounds like this..........

[video=youtube;ss2hULhXf04]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss2hULhXf04[/video]

 

[arwen83]

I had a dream lastnight that I found myself in a classroom about to write a test for university, remembering that I decided to stop going but I somehow forgot to unregister. And I had to tell my psych professor that I am actually no longer in school as she was handing out the exam. It was really unnerving

 

[Ugly]

What has the Muppets come to?

First Sesame Street and now this!

 

[arwen83]

Perhaps I take my job too seriously? And expect too much out of people when they are in the care of vulnerable people. It's like a righteous anger or concern. There is meaning and value behind my feelings when it comes to expectations. Am I expecting too much, or just right enough and it's their issue with my expectation. Should I adapt or stand convicted? This expectations (too high or not high enough?) has been a constant theme in my life- friends, relationships, possible dates, work, family. I can't find an answer so I just end up adapting, 'oh this person thinks that I have too high expectations? Let's lower them' 'oh, well that relationship/ friendship was horrible, I need to higher my expectations'. It's enough to pull my hair out!! I am completely serious. Most of my adult life, I have been often called judgmental- old roommate use to jokingly call me 'the judge'. It was actually quite hurtful because I would always end up going introspective and question myself. I DO NOT know what to do! Stand by my convictions even though I am labelled in a negative way or adapt and truly be without a backbone?!


INFJs INFPs: I could really use your insight!!

 

[lil_christian]

cook the bacon first

Thank you. I wanted to make sure, because I wasn't sure if I cooked the bacon first if I'd end up with burnt bacon inside an overall perfectly baked quiche.

And now I have this to experiment with, too.

Blueberry Lemon Sweet Rolls | The Pioneer Woman Cooks | Ree Drummond

 

[lil_christian]

I bought a 4 dollar chocolate bar. 3 ounces....for 4 dollars. But it's organic and non-GMO. And good.

 

[Loveneverfails]

Continually getting updates from my family about relief efforts in the Philippines. I wish with everything in me that I could be there, helping. The good news is that despite the devastation, God has provided infinitely more miracles.

 

[MissCris]

Been doing a lot of praying lately about my situation. I don't believe in "signs" from God, but I do believe that He'll open certain doors for us to go through; what we do once on the other side, that's up to us.

Pretty sure God has opened a couple of doors for me in the last few days. Hopefully I turn the right direction after I go through them.

 

[AgnusDei]

Advice

Dear daughter in this joyful day
we see you ready to leave us once for all
single and now just married
let me give you my last gift
let me give you these advises
God taught me in my daily walk

This is my chain for you
to adorn your neck with it
this is the garland I save for so long
so you can adorn your head with it
these words were hidden till today
as a reminder when tribulations come

Number your days
that you main gain a heart of wisdom
'cause you never know
when will be your last breath
Don't throw your pearls to pigs
Seek the Kingdom first
and all the other things shall be added to you

Don't tempt the wolves in full moon
'cause they won't have mercy on you
Man does not live by bread alone
but for every word
that comes out of God's mouth

Don't worship idols here on earth
made of human flesh and worldly mind
If you put your hand on the plow
don't look back or otherwise
you'll lose a more than a kingdom
Don't build your house on the sand
where waves can easily destroy
what you thought it would last
Run your race focused on the prize
leaving what's necessary to leave behind

Test yourself in the faith everyday
don't be good in your own judgement
trust in the Holy Spirit instead

 

[CatHerder]

Perhaps I take my job too seriously? And expect too much out of people when they are in the care of vulnerable people. It's like a righteous anger or concern. There is meaning and value behind my feelings when it comes to expectations. Am I expecting too much, or just right enough and it's their issue with my expectation. Should I adapt or stand convicted? This expectations (too high or not high enough?) has been a constant theme in my life- friends, relationships, possible dates, work, family. I can't find an answer so I just end up adapting, 'oh this person thinks that I have too high expectations? Let's lower them' 'oh, well that relationship/ friendship was horrible, I need to higher my expectations'. It's enough to pull my hair out!! I am completely serious. Most of my adult life, I have been often called judgmental- old roommate use to jokingly call me 'the judge'. It was actually quite hurtful because I would always end up going introspective and question myself. I DO NOT know what to do! Stand by my convictions even though I am labelled in a negative way or adapt and truly be without a backbone?!


INFJs INFPs: I could really use your insight!!

INFP here - plus, I play an INFJ on TV


Don't lower your expectations in a relationship.

Continue to be introspective.

Choose which work battle is worth fighting. How serious is the situation at work? Can you say "I notice this isn't getting done. Do you need help with it?"

Don't take the work emotions home with you. Try to have a rational detachment. Unwind.

 

[CatHerder]

I was at the mall earlier today. Of course, Christmas music was playing overhead. Across from me was this guy who just looked....shady....very....thuggy.....

All of a sudden, he burst our singing when the overhead music got to the chorus of "Do You Hear What I Hear?" He had a great baritone voice.

It made my day.

 

[Oncefallen]

Man I ha()e i() when my keyboard decides ()o die. GRRRRRR

 

[Jilly81]

Jim, your keyboard and my computer need to form a support group for delinquent electronics; I sat here for way too long waiting for the chat room to load, and it never did show the lounge .

 

[MissCris]

Today has been decent. Far easier than yesterday. I still feel like maybe I'm going to break again at some point; I'm waiting for it, preparing for it the best I can. The funeral is Tuesday morning.

I have a nice new skirt and boots, and a cozy-soft sweater to wear to it.

I hate that I'm even concerned about what to wear.

...but I really like boots and long skirts and soft sweaters.

Incidentally, I get my love of clothes from my dad.

 

[JimJimmers]

Man I ha()e i() when my keyboard decides ()o die. GRRRRRR

I have seen a cleaning work wonders. Not being funny here, I'm totally serious.

 

[lav]

i wonder what God has in store for me.
i wonder if it'll be single life, or if i'll heal and the right one will show up, at just the right time.
i'm waiting to start on wellbutrin, an antidepressant... because i've been struggling with depression for months, not to mention most of my life.
i wonder if any man will ever have the compassion and love to understand what i've been through doesn't define who i am.
i wonder if a loving, boring man will find me.. and be my prince charming.
i want my pets to live very long lives,
i want my whole family saved by the grace of Christ, and to accept them exactly where they are at.
i wonder if my dreams will ever come true, if i'll have kids. maybe 2 and adopt a third.
when will i see my best friend, Jesus. do i do enough right for Him?
will kindness and mercy ever rule during my lifetime, on this planet?
will i go surfing in maui again?
will i ever see the lions of Africa,
and become friends with people of Australia and get to visit and stay with them?
will i ever see any friends from cc in real life?
will i get a car soon?
will i ever realize how fortunate i am?
i hope my earth grandfather and my earth father are in heaven.
i hope i see my cousins on my mom's side again, and that they accept me, and like me again.
will i ever have the partner, who knows i'm not crazy, but believes i'm a genius. . . and understand that i'm not of this world, i'm just in it... and that's why so many people criticize me, compete with me, try and usurp my actions and don't understand me?
will he ever sing to me, and get down on one knee for me?
do i belong where it is i think i want to live?
will i ever live there?
will i get to go back to school, and finish.. at the top. will i be an a student again?
will i overcome my crippling social anxiety?
do i truly have sisters, in Christ... will i have the friends i need to get through life's ups and downs, my ups and downs.
will manic depression ever be de-stigmatized ?
do i have slight ocd ?
will my anxiety, ptsd and agoraphobia ever go away ?
does someone think i'm beautiful, will someone think i'm beautiful... not for just one or two reasons... but every reason ?
can miracles in my life occur, and dreams come true ?
is it silly to wish and hope and dream ?
has my heart become hardened to love, will it ever find me ?
does my abusive ex ever think about me, and remember how much i gave and how loving i was ?
will i ever talk to my high-school sweetheart again, now that we're friends ?
will the people i cut off, my old friends i love, ever find me again... solidly placed in a new and firm foundation in Christ, and will it change their lives ?
will i hear from God again, will He stir my soul
and remind me of the secrets we share, our treasured memories and the lives we touch together?
besides Jesus, will one man never fail me.. does he exist?
will my will to participate in my gifts and passions return?
what are my true gifts, in Christ's eyes ?
will i ever dance, and do ballet again ?
will i return to running every morning, by the beach... watching the waves and smelling the salt in the air...
enjoying the last phase of my youth and watch the surfers catching waves ?
will i catch a wave, His wave, and make the cut ...finding the flow Jesus wants for my life ?
will i ever be held and comforted by loving arms, ones that stay with me to the end... and then arrive in eternity with me... riding on the wings of a dove... a peaceful love, our sanctity with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
will you make these things come after all the storms, Yeshua ...
is there a rainbow waiting for me, and can i ride warm clear waters with you, on a surfboard of love ?

 

[Ugly]

Perhaps I take my job too seriously? And expect too much out of people when they are in the care of vulnerable people. It's like a righteous anger or concern. There is meaning and value behind my feelings when it comes to expectations. Am I expecting too much, or just right enough and it's their issue with my expectation. Should I adapt or stand convicted? This expectations (too high or not high enough?) has been a constant theme in my life- friends, relationships, possible dates, work, family. I can't find an answer so I just end up adapting, 'oh this person thinks that I have too high expectations? Let's lower them' 'oh, well that relationship/ friendship was horrible, I need to higher my expectations'. It's enough to pull my hair out!! I am completely serious. Most of my adult life, I have been often called judgmental- old roommate use to jokingly call me 'the judge'. It was actually quite hurtful because I would always end up going introspective and question myself. I DO NOT know what to do! Stand by my convictions even though I am labelled in a negative way or adapt and truly be without a backbone?!


INFJs INFPs: I could really use your insight!!

Wish i had that insight for myself. I have the same struggles. In a way we are the social law keepers. The mind and heart police. Which is never a popular thing. But we are needed in society. Just like in real life, police make up a small, often unpopular faction of our society. But at the ended up the day, much as we may resent speeding tickets and whatnot, we recognize that without them things would be much worse off.
This isn't to say we don't sometimes have high expectations. And that is the hard part, having these expectations not only on others, but on ourselves. Often times not even able to live up to our own expectations, which brings us down, makes us question ourselves, our role in the people and world around us. If there is something wrong with us inherently. And the answer is yes, there is. But, everyone else has something wrong with them too. There's just more of 'them' with similar wrongness, then us. So our wrongs seem larger in scale because we Are the minority. But in reality, we're all wrong, and often none more than another, we only perceive it that way.
I still don't know how to judge my convictions. Some days i am headstrong and planting my standard and blowing the battle call to the rightness of my convictions leading the rest of the world in my righteous beliefs. And other days those same convictions leave me huddled alone in the corner wanting to hide away from the rest of the world so i don't have to be beat up anymore.
Honestly i don't think we'll ever truly know. We simply have an unpleasant role in society. Among humanity. We do our best to fulfill that role when we're strong and use our own special wisdom to know when we need to heal before heading out into battle. Maybe we aren't supposed to be consistently out there. For our good or the good of others, but yet we are only meant to speak up often enough to remind people every so often that there is a higher road, but not to lead them down it. Rather we are not generals leading the charge, but guides, oracles that only speak when needed.

 

[arwen83]

Wish i had that insight for myself. I have the same struggles. In a way we are the social law keepers. The mind and heart police. Which is never a popular thing. But we are needed in society. Just like in real life, police make up a small, often unpopular faction of our society. But at the ended up the day, much as we may resent speeding tickets and whatnot, we recognize that without them things would be much worse off.
This isn't to say we don't sometimes have high expectations. And that is the hard part, having these expectations not only on others, but on ourselves. Often times not even able to live up to our own expectations, which brings us down, makes us question ourselves, our role in the people and world around us. If there is something wrong with us inherently. And the answer is yes, there is. But, everyone else has something wrong with them too. There's just more of 'them' with similar wrongness, then us. So our wrongs seem larger in scale because we Are the minority. But in reality, we're all wrong, and often none more than another, we only perceive it that way.
I still don't know how to judge my convictions. Some days i am headstrong and planting my standard and blowing the battle call to the rightness of my convictions leading the rest of the world in my righteous beliefs. And other days those same convictions leave me huddled alone in the corner wanting to hide away from the rest of the world so i don't have to be beat up anymore.
Honestly i don't think we'll ever truly know. We simply have an unpleasant role in society. Among humanity. We do our best to fulfill that role when we're strong and use our own special wisdom to know when we need to heal before heading out into battle. Maybe we aren't supposed to be consistently out there. For our good or the good of others, but yet we are only meant to speak up often enough to remind people every so often that there is a higher road, but not to lead them down it. Rather we are not generals leading the charge, but guides, oracles that only speak when needed.

Thank you for this, I will be mulling it over

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

I was at the mall earlier today. Of course, Christmas music was playing overhead. Across from me was this guy who just looked....shady....very....thuggy.....

All of a sudden, he burst our singing when the overhead music got to the chorus of "Do You Hear What I Hear?" He had a great baritone voice.

It made my day.

This made me grin, really huge like. Wish I'd gotten to see that.

Today has been decent. Far easier than yesterday. I still feel like maybe I'm going to break again at some point; I'm waiting for it, preparing for it the best I can. The funeral is Tuesday morning.

I have a nice new skirt and boots, and a cozy-soft sweater to wear to it.

I hate that I'm even concerned about what to wear.

...but I really like boots and long skirts and soft sweaters.

Incidentally, I get my love of clothes from my dad.

You're gonna make it Cris. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and make sure you set aside some time to have a good cry. It's that important.

 

[arwen83]

Honestly i don't think we'll ever truly know. We simply have an unpleasant role in society. Among humanity. We do our best to fulfill that role when we're strong and use our own special wisdom to know when we need to heal before heading out into battle. Maybe we aren't supposed to be consistently out there. For our good or the good of others, but yet we are only meant to speak up often enough to remind people every so often that there is a higher road, but not to lead them down it. Rather we are not generals leading the charge, but guides, oracles that only speak when needed.

I think your analogy of generals vs oracles has a lot of weight to it. I think you are right we are not suppose to be constantly out there in battle. This is all very insightful!