There are these moments in life where you're put into a position to apologize. I often don't want to because of shame and how clear those emotions and images play out in my own mind. Disgusting my core. I often wish they knew without the use of words, how sorry I am for committing such foolish acts. This also applies to those who have wronged me. I want to forgive and forget, but seeing that ugly scar there reminds me how frail and weak I am. I'm quietly angry at you and myself because that moment etched itself into who I am. And when I get these flashes and emotions, it's like a boiling liquid being poured into my mouth. I just want to curl up and pretend it never happened. Pretend it doesn't hurt. But use these. I use these to try and better myself as a person. I try to at least.
Confession to what we have done in not loving our neighbor as ourselves is key to being free and settled as to trust God once freed/
I had this same on my mind and had it for years, my conscience haunting me. so I set out to go to all as many as could find them and apologize to them for what I had done.
And when I confessed to that last person was my Brother and told him the truth.
And in each and every person I stated directly, I am ready to pay penance, for my stupidity.
I will never forget my Brother saying He forgave me, and as he was saying this he also perceived in me and said I see this has made you free. I said whether you forgave me or not, I confessed and God knows my heart, yes I am free
You choose as God leads
Life is like peeling an onion, makes one cry,
keep peeling for the center is sweet, and freedom is in truth.