-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
P
I've dated non-believers, before and after I took my faith seriously. There will always be schism between the two individuals, in one of the most fundamental aspects of a person's life: their values. Not to say it can't work, it just complicates things even more. In the end, it'll come down to sex. If the person is willing on respecting your desire to wait until marriage - if that's your future. It's hard to find a non-believing guy who will stick around, without having that intimacy. Unless he is THAT serious that is willing on waiting until you both wed.
Nope - and it shouldn't even be controversial. The Bible says not to.
Where things got fuzzy for me this past year is when I helped out a non-believing friend, then went out with her as "just friends going out" a few times. Soon, both of us were wondering where the relationship was going. We both agreed not to pursue things before they got really messy. It was still difficult, but it could have been quite disastrous.
Where things got fuzzy for me this past year is when I helped out a non-believing friend, then went out with her as "just friends going out" a few times. Soon, both of us were wondering where the relationship was going. We both agreed not to pursue things before they got really messy. It was still difficult, but it could have been quite disastrous.
Experience has taught me we sometimes CHEAT, so how much an unbeliever would be cheating, I DON'T Know, but I don't risk myself twice (If I be granted to date any).
Those beliefs you mention could be your faith, your idealistic view on politics, your likes (or dislike) for any member of YOUR family (or his family). Your belief on how you use YOUR money (or the way you want HIM to use HIS money).
Dating needs few requisites but, if I know SHE is not a committed Christian I don't dare to spend a minute considering those ideas. I rather starve to die (I'm dead)
He! He!
Those beliefs you mention could be your faith, your idealistic view on politics, your likes (or dislike) for any member of YOUR family (or his family). Your belief on how you use YOUR money (or the way you want HIM to use HIS money).
Dating needs few requisites but, if I know SHE is not a committed Christian I don't dare to spend a minute considering those ideas. I rather starve to die (I'm dead)
He! He!
B
Q1. Would you ever date a non-believer?
Q2. What if this person is someone you have been dating since before you were saved?
Q3. What if this person is genuinely a good person who treats you right and respects your new found beliefs?
A1. Nope. From the Bible's perspective, all believers are encouraged to,
a) prefer one another over non-believers, and
b) marry like-minded believers. Our love and devotion is first to God and Jesus Christ, and that mindset is something unbelievers don't comprehend.
A2. Your unbelieving BF has the choice to either embrace the Bible as you have, and together become a godly couple, or to continue in his unbelief. If your BF is not willing to come to the wonderful knowledge of Jesus Christ, then he has no business to engage your heart because your heart now belongs to Christ.
A3. Your BF can be 'sweet-N-nice,' but he remains an unbeliever. The only way to "respect your new found beliefs" is for him to come love Christ also. Otherwise, both of you are being dishonest in your testimony. By this I mean, the unbeliever would be in objection towards God, while married to a Christian, and the Christian would be "unequally yoked." How would you explain yourself to other single gals? Remember, "you are a letter of Christ" as the Bible says.
Q2. What if this person is someone you have been dating since before you were saved?
Q3. What if this person is genuinely a good person who treats you right and respects your new found beliefs?
A1. Nope. From the Bible's perspective, all believers are encouraged to,
a) prefer one another over non-believers, and
b) marry like-minded believers. Our love and devotion is first to God and Jesus Christ, and that mindset is something unbelievers don't comprehend.
A2. Your unbelieving BF has the choice to either embrace the Bible as you have, and together become a godly couple, or to continue in his unbelief. If your BF is not willing to come to the wonderful knowledge of Jesus Christ, then he has no business to engage your heart because your heart now belongs to Christ.
A3. Your BF can be 'sweet-N-nice,' but he remains an unbeliever. The only way to "respect your new found beliefs" is for him to come love Christ also. Otherwise, both of you are being dishonest in your testimony. By this I mean, the unbeliever would be in objection towards God, while married to a Christian, and the Christian would be "unequally yoked." How would you explain yourself to other single gals? Remember, "you are a letter of Christ" as the Bible says.
Last edited:
C
I've been told that this is called "missionary dating". I believe that it is okay to date this way, but they shouldn't leave you lost in your faith. Dating Christians can be just as hard as dating non-Christians, because we all fall short of His glory at some point, and we are expected to meet their standards or expectations. It all depends on how responsible you are with your faith.
U
If this is ok where is the biblical precedent?
What if you marry? Are you really content with living your life knowing the person you love and are committed to could end up in hell at any time?
How do you tell your children that their father is going to hell?
How does the non-Christian husband perform his biblical duties as spiritual leader of the household?
How can you raise your children as Christians if they know that you married someone who is not, and there is that division there?
How does a Christian husband be the spiritual leader of a household when his spouse does not follow his lead?
How would you feel if you invested time and emotions into someone, only to realize their intention in the relationship was the convert you to their religion?
How can you justify that sort of emotional manipulation as a Christian?
What if they claim to convert for Your sake? Are they truly repentant? Seeking God? Changed and born again? Or are they following the motions to make you happy?
Or what if you plan on not marrying them?
So then you actively seek out to date someone with only the intention of changing them into what you want. And if they don't become what you want then you hurt them by breaking up with them?
How will this reflect on their view of God to know that you attempted to change and manipulate them in a false relationship setting?
How long will you allow them to be deceived by your actions? Months? Years? Before you break their heart in the name of winning souls for God.
How can you be sure they will not have any negative effects on you or your faith?
How can you justify going against the bibles statement of not being unequally yoked?
Fact is missionary dating is selfish and manipulative. If you were truly concerned about their soul then you would focus on that and not being in a relationship with them.
What if you marry? Are you really content with living your life knowing the person you love and are committed to could end up in hell at any time?
How do you tell your children that their father is going to hell?
How does the non-Christian husband perform his biblical duties as spiritual leader of the household?
How can you raise your children as Christians if they know that you married someone who is not, and there is that division there?
How does a Christian husband be the spiritual leader of a household when his spouse does not follow his lead?
How would you feel if you invested time and emotions into someone, only to realize their intention in the relationship was the convert you to their religion?
How can you justify that sort of emotional manipulation as a Christian?
What if they claim to convert for Your sake? Are they truly repentant? Seeking God? Changed and born again? Or are they following the motions to make you happy?
Or what if you plan on not marrying them?
So then you actively seek out to date someone with only the intention of changing them into what you want. And if they don't become what you want then you hurt them by breaking up with them?
How will this reflect on their view of God to know that you attempted to change and manipulate them in a false relationship setting?
How long will you allow them to be deceived by your actions? Months? Years? Before you break their heart in the name of winning souls for God.
How can you be sure they will not have any negative effects on you or your faith?
How can you justify going against the bibles statement of not being unequally yoked?
Fact is missionary dating is selfish and manipulative. If you were truly concerned about their soul then you would focus on that and not being in a relationship with them.
A
A relationship of any kind with a non believer is bound to have trouble. As soon as you desire to do things Gods way. The picture of the yoke makes it clear...you have to go the same way for anything to get accomplished. In order for you to do things in agreement with your lost partner..whether marriage or business you would have to go against the Bible...for they do not have Spiritual discernment. Date.....I agree with bannana pi....courtship is the way to go....entering into the relationship with one you have come to know trust and wish to spend the rest of your life with....from knowing them in your life situations...ei ..church.
C
It is manipulative and selfish in certain cases, I must say. But there are some people who claim to be Christians who are just self-righteous and are Pharisee-like. I'd much rather be with someone who is a good person and is respectful of one's beliefs rather than someone who is giving me the wrong impression of Christian beliefs. It is truly up to a person, and whether or not they are strong in the faith. My friend's parents have done the whole missionary dating thing, and have ended up married and have been perfectly okay with it. It can be a sin to date these types of people, I do agree with that. So I am somewhat agreeing, but there are other circumstances that can make it okay (in my belief).
A problem with missionary dating is that you cannot grow spiritually, which can be a major downfall to how you run your life. So that is valid. I think the only benefit to missionary dating is being that sort of light and hope for the person you are dating. But I do agree that there are those who are manipulative and selfish. Well said.
A problem with missionary dating is that you cannot grow spiritually, which can be a major downfall to how you run your life. So that is valid. I think the only benefit to missionary dating is being that sort of light and hope for the person you are dating. But I do agree that there are those who are manipulative and selfish. Well said.
Last edited by a moderator:
